Hope.
What an ironic name
for a girl dying of cancer, don't you think?
And what's more depressing than a kid dying of cancer?
Nothing, of course.
So I have two options.
I can either be depressed, emo teen, so obvs,
or I can embrace it.
It's my note from the doctor for life.
No homework. Teachers let you slide.
Ice cream in the lunch line.
People are nice to you,
because they feel bad for you.
And why shouldn't they?
I-It's cancer, and why shouldn't I use it?
I know how my story ends.
Terminal is terminal.
You know, I...
There are no unwritten chapters yet to come.
And I'm comfortable knowing that.
So don't judge.
I'm not giving up.
I'm just practical.
You know what? Hands out.
- Hey. Hi. - Hi.
All but one of them are ready.
I can have the other one sent to her at the hospital
- later if you'd like. - Oh, God, no.
Curbside service is enough. Don't have to do that.
No, Mom, it's my Zofran, and if I don't have it,
- I will be vomiting everywhere. - Ehh. That's gross.
Uh, yeah, that would be great.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
You know what? You haven't eaten anything yet,
so put the phone down, and then you can vlog later.
Eat this banana.
Banana!
What's that?
"Eat me, Hope. Eat me."
Okay. Give it to me.
My mom had the brilliant idea
of naming me Hope after her favorite line
from some dead British guy's book.
It's not her fault.
Who would have known that this would have happened?
Hope!
You shouldn't have.
- It's on me today. - Oh, thanks.
I promise I won't be around for much longer.
Wouldn't want to put you out of business.
But she's amazing,
if, at times, a bit much.
Okay, so I'm picking you up after school today
for your doctor's appointment.
Is that today?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, no.
Your test results came back.
Yay. More bad news.
All right.
You're strong and beautiful.
Chemo's nothing. You got this. I love you.
Do we really have to do this every time?
Okay, I'm strong, and I'm beautiful,
and I've got this, and I love you, too.
- Bye. - Okay.
Hey, Dr. Pham.
Kids are supposed to be like Twinkies,
born with no sign of an expiration date.
I'm more like milk.
There's one stamped right on me.
And, sure, you can try and run away from it...
but you're in for a rude awakening.
Uh, coming through. Make way for the dying girl.
You know, don't want to be late for chemo.
Gotta get my drip on, so, yeah, might not...
might not make it, so...
Hit three, please.
Chocolate still your favorite, Stephanie?
You know it.
So I learned to embrace my situation
with a sense of humor.
They say that laughter is the best medicine.
Two white blood cells bump into each other.
and one says to the other one, "Funny seeing you here."
Drop mic.
It's been a real lifesaver.
- Let's do this. - Okay.
Sarah, it is time to distract her.
Okay.
I just learned about guided imagery.
Okay, let me see if I remember.
You are laying on a nice warm beach.
Your feet are in the sand,
and you're laying on that tie-dye towel that I...
That's Sarah,
the best thing to come out of this entire situation.
We met almost five years ago in a hospital support group.
She has cancer, too, obviously,
and when you have cancer, you just get it.
All flushed.
Port seems to be working just fine.
I'm ready to hook you up as soon as Pharmacy brings up the bag.
It's important to get it.
How we doing here?
Oh, just, you know, chilling to some chemo
and "The Fault in Our Stars."
Any pain?
Well, if I had to give it a number,
um, it'd be an eight,
so can I have more snacks and a ginger ale, please?
Of course.
They should really start a patient of the month contest.
Don't you think that'd be an unfair competition?
God, you love attention.
I love attention just as much as the next person,
but I wouldn't say that I take advantage of it.
And how you doing? Any pain?
Um, I guess I'd say the second one,
who just looks constipated.
That reminds me, um, my mom wants you to text her,
something about fibrous juices.
I'm sorry. I know she's a lot.
No. Heh. No, it's sweet.
I welcome D's overprotective doting.
My mom's been so busy these days.
Okay.
I'm going to disconnect you and flush you again.
Okay.
I can taste it.
Mm-hmm.
Water, Zofran.
Mm. Thank you.
You all set?
You should come over this week,
any days your mom's working late.
D can make us something extra bland
for us to not want to eat.
Okay.
Love you.
Love you more.
Not possible.
That's Seth.
He's my best friend, too.
Yes, you can have two best friends. It's 2016.
Like most people in the world, he doesn't have cancer.
He's only 17, but sometimes he acts 40.
Hey. How you feeling?
- Hey. Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine. - You good?
- Did you eat before chemo? - Yes.
- You did? Okay, cool. - Yes.
Do you need the notes for Mrs. Laga's class, by the way?
Yeah. Here. I saved you a ginger ale.
No, you drink it. You need it.
Okay, well, let's go. We're gonna be late for school.
Wait. Since when do you care about school?
Since I have art first period.
Right.
? Oh, my love ?
? My darling, I ?
- - That's Kai, my boyfriend.
That sounds weird to say out loud.
I definitely said it in my head thousands of times.
Yeah, my boyfriend. My boyfriend.
Okay, yeah, that sounds crazy.
Hang on, babe.
Y-You're doing too much.
Yeah, I should probably just take a nap or something.
Yeah, yeah. Let's get you a kip.
Okay.
Come here.
So my mother and I were
on my Make-A-Wish trip this past summer in Australia.
I always wanted to snorkel the Great Barrier Reef.
Turns out, uh, snorkeling's harder than it looks,
especially with health issues.
There we were, just trying to capture some fish with a GoPro.
I must have looked like I was drowning,
'cause Kai swam up and offered his assistance.
Instant sparks.
But he showed us around the city for the next few days,
most romantic experience of my life,
even with my mom three steps behind.
So when he found I didn't have long,
he came to the States with us, applied for some kind of grant.
Apparently Australia is all right
with wanting young people to see the world,
so that's cool.
You make dying look so desirable.
Are you talking to me?
Is anybody else dying in art class?
No. Um, sorry.
I just thought you didn't know who I was, so...
Of course I know who you are.
You're Cancer Girl.
And Kai's girlfriend, of course.
Where did you get him?
Make-A-Wish.
You can get a hot guy at Make-A-Wish?
No, no. It was the trip,
um, and he was just a bonus, so...
Oh, I was gonna say, "I want cancer." I'm kidding.
Is he a good kisser, though?
I'm not kidding, because I was looking at him,
and I was like...
Like, I feel he'd be a good kisser.
You know, I-I don't really have much to compare it to.
Um, so if it's bad, it's probably me.
Yeah, probably.
Can I have him when you're done?
W-Wait. What?
Just think about it.
Okay.
No. No, no.
Please stop. Stop. I look terrible today.
You don't, actually.
Did you, uh, study for Bio, by the way?
Yes.
Sort of. No, look. I-I talked to Mr. Baser,
and he said that I didn't have to worry about the test, so...
When was the last time you actually took a test?
I took a blood test this morning.
Something that requires a little more effort.
And a PET scan. You know,
sometimes they make you hold your breath.
Oh, wow.
Well, if you feel like studying,
tonight I'm gonna outline chapter 23.
It wouldn't hurt to...
to, you know, try.
Hope.
Yes. I'm listening.
- What'd I just say? - I'm listening now.
This is for you.
We think you're so brave.
You're like the girl from "The Fault in Our Stars," but real.
What's it like to be Zoe's new best friend?
Did... Did she say that?
Did she say I'm actually her new best friend?
Oh, she's never spoken to us.
Oh, my gosh. If she talked to us, I would die.
Could you put in a good word for me
when she, you know, needs a new you?
Yeah.
Um, I-I can tell her you said, "Hi."
What is your name?
Candy...
Like a Jolly Rancher.
Okay, wow.
I think they mean well.
Aren't those the girls that got in trouble
for cyberbullying last year?
You know, I-I don't know. I...
Everyone loves me on the Internet, so...
Yeah, 'cause I disabled the comment section on your vlog.
Cupcake?
How are your classes going?
Real good.
Really? 'Cause you're failing them all.
I've got a D in English.
I'm good at English.
Hope, I really think it's a good idea
for you to apply yourself a little bit more.
Why?
'Cause, you know...
Are you familiar with the idea
that life is about the journey and not the destination?
Yeah. They tell you that when you're dying, so...
Look, I know you might be reaching your destination sooner than some...
but don't you want your journey to be richer?
I think it's more rich.
They're both right, actually.
Well, how can two things
be right at the same time?
Well, if you showed up to philosophy class,
you would know.
Ha. Good one, Mr. G.
You gonna eat that cupcake?
Paging Nurse Ceylon on Telemetry...
Rub it in.
Mom, I basically am hand sanitizer at this point.
so you don't need to tell me what to do.
I know how to rub it in.
After this, let's go get some of that, uh...
- that trail life tea. - You know what?
I'd rather not, because I don't like drinking stale farts,
so I'd rather just, you know, die without the tea.
Wow.
Oh, hey, Dr. Choudary.
Good morning, ladies. We have some news.
There are no signs of cancer
in both hope's blood work and her PET scan.
What are you saying?
Remission. We're talking about clinical remission here.
- Clinical remission? - Mm-hmm.
O-Okay. Wait. Am I gonna live or die? Like...
There was always a really good chance of this happening,
but I would never take telling you something like this lightly,
and we would never use the word "cured."
We're gonna have to monitor you very closely
for the first five years. Cancer is tricky, especially...
You know, we should have a party.
- Yes. - Right?
We should invite all of your new friends.
Bowling.
We should go bowling.
No. No, no. Please, Mom, no.
Come on. We have to celebrate, right?
Yeah, you used to love bowling.
We used to go bowling all the time.
Yeah, we went bowling all the time when I was 12.
Hey, what's your guidance counselor's name again?
Mr. Garner.
Why?
Oh, I'm writing, uh, thank-you notes
to all your teachers, and I'm telling them the good news.
Why do you do these things?
"Dear Mr. Garner, thank you for all the help
you've given Hope these past few years.
I am happy to let you know
that Hope's cancer is in remission
and she can resume her studies full time."
It's not... It's not terrible.
Guess it's back to homework.
Thank you, Mother.
Mm.
Hey, you... You like Mr. Garner, right?
He was helpful with all the extension stuff?
Yeah, he's fine.
Well, do you want to maybe talk to him instead of a therapist?
I'm fine up here. It's the body that's not cooperating.
All right, well, just... I just... You know, if it's a money thing,
we could figure out a way to make it work.
Look, he... he knows we're... we're poor.
I mean, it's okay.
It's true.
Well, we're not really...
I mean, I could help her study, you know?
Thank you for your enthusiasm.
Both of you.
- Mm-hmm. - Hate you guys.
How are you eating?
Oh, I-I just told my mom
I'd try harder to eat, so...
Now it's your turn.
For guided imagery.
Oh, okay. Heh.
So close your eyes, and keep 'em closed.
Describe to me your dream meal in detail.
Okay.
I would have spaghetti with meat sauce.
Oh, and... and Parmesan cheese, you know, like the kind
they grate on top right in front of you,
and they ask you when to stop,
but I would never say stop.
I feel you.
I would just start eating,
and the whole meal, the waiter would just be shredding away.
A-And, um, what about dessert?
I-I know that's your favorite part, so...
Mmm. I would have original tart froyo
with a pizzelle cookie shoved down the middle
to create a firm boundary, so on one side,
I could put maraschino cherries and gummi bears,
and on the other side,
I could put hot fudge and Reese's Pieces. Heh.
Um, Hope?
Uh, yeah. Um...
Oh, my gosh. I did that whole visual imagery thing
just so you could sneak your burger.
No, I didn't. I'm just... I'm just hungry,
because I-I don't have to get chemo today, so...
Why don't you have chemo today?
Um, Dr. Choudary thought, you know, I didn't need chemo,
on... on account I'm in remission,
and, um, you know, no... no biggie, so...
Oh, my gosh. Hope, that's amazing!
Yeah. You know, um, I guess.
I should probably, um, just get to school.
I'm sure the Man wants me to study more, so...
Okay.
I love you.
Love you more.
Not possible.
Things are just happening too fast for me right now.
I-I just don't know how to feel. Am I happy, scared, angry?
Hungry? I mean, why am I still hungry?
I-I feel like I need a sign, you know?
Uh, should I tell everyone,
or should I just let it ride a little bit longer?
So you need any help?
With what?
Telling everyone.
No. I'm just gonna tell Sarah first
and then tell everyone else, so...
Didn't you stop by the hospital earlier, though?
Yeah, but she was sleeping and so cute,
and I-I didn't want to bother her, you know?
All right.
Gonna go do one of your free periods?
- Yeah. - All right.
- Bye. - See you around.
So you know how I've always been into street art, yeah?
- No, I-I did not know that. - Babe.
No, you just have so many ideas, I can't keep track of them all.
Well, this is my first attempt at street art.
Uh, wow.
Um, there's so many of them.
Where are you gonna put all of these?
Well, these are all part of my new campaign, Hope.
I'm gonna stick them all over the city.
Hopefully I don't get done by the John Hop.
- The wallopers. - Uh...
The fuzz. The coppers.
- Yes. - Yeah.
Yes, I know that one.
So hopefully after you're gone,
there's gonna be a small piece of you left around the city.
- This is so cool. - Um, yeah.
Uh, can we... can we please...
Can we just go talk someplace more private?
Hope, you're shaking.
Yeah. Well, look at that.
Is it the chemo?
Mm, I don't know.
Is it bad news?
Well, define "bad news." Um...
Well, whatever it is, you can tell me.
I'm just not ready for this to end.
It's... It's not going to end, and if it does, I'll be here.
Well, what if it's forever?
I'll be here.
This is nice.
So, D, in her never-ending overstepping of my boundaries,
has decided to put all the letters
in my teachers' mailboxes.
So many problems with this.
Hope, I've got math.
- What... - Get back!
Any student who has not turned in
their permission slip to attend Hip-Hop Hullabaloo
will not be attending Hip-Hop Hullabaloo.
Thank you.
Okay, are you gonna help me or not?
I don't even know what we're doing.
We're gonna go get back the letters.
And don't give me that look, okay?
It's technically not stealing. She used my stationary, so...
Okay, one more time, why would we get rid of the letters
that completely solve your whole dilemma?
I don't have to tell people
until, you know, I get my life back together.
Okay, so what's the plan?
Okay, we're gonna go in there, and we're gonna steal...
take back... take back the letters from the mailboxes.
That's the plan?
Well, it's the f-first draft of a plan.
- What if Mr. Burda catches you? - That's why you're here.
You're the lookout, in case, you know,
um, I get in trouble or something,
or you just... you could distract him or something.
Really love the detail you've put into this.
Okay, I got... Yeah, same. Okay, let's go. Hands in.
Come on.
Go, team.
Okay, let's do this.
Okay, muffin. You got your tea.
Now what?
Mail!
Mrs. Thompson.
Oh. Nice lady.
She's such a sweetie pie.
Ah, who rearranged this?
Uh...
Mrs. Thompson...
Thompson. Thompson. Thompson.
Thompson. Ompson.
Thom... There she is. All right.
And the next lucky winner.
Ms. Stuart.
Snippy, snappy Stuart.
She's a cow.
Hmm. Stuart. Stu...
Oh. There we go.
Oh! I think I put that in the wrong box.
Nope, that's good.
Coach Callenberg. All right.
Rah, rah, sis-boom-bah.
Football team's not gonna go so far.
Callenberg. Callenberg. There we go.
Oh. All done.
Now what?
Oh, lunch.
Uh, yeah.
- Ring the bell. That's gonna... - Okay, go. Go.
I'm eating.
You see...
Come back after lunch.
Bye.
- Scoot. Scoot. - Yeah.
- Okay, yeah. - Okay.
She even wrote one to the janitor.
You know what? Maybe I'm just gonna drop out. My mom did.
Yeah, 'cause she stopped fitting into the uniforms.
She was pregnant.
I'm kidding.
Mostly. I'll study.
Wait. You're not planning on using cancer
- as a way to not study, right? - No! I'll do it.
Good. It's important for you to start focusing
and actually, like, you know, learning something.
Seth, I got it.
You know what this means?
We can go to college and grad school now.
We can get apartments in the city.
I'm not ready to think about that yet.
So what does Kai think?
He's... He's really cool with it.
He doesn't know, does he?
I mean, what does knowing really...
- You didn't tell him? - I-I told him.
No, you're lying right now. 'cause your voice gets, like, super high when you lie.
That's what's happening right now. Yeah, you're lying right now. I can hear it.
- No, it's not. - I know you're lying every time.
- These are for you. - Also we're totally wearing
these stickers of your face to support you.
Wow.
What does Zoe smell like?
Not like desperation.
I wanted to know if you wanted to get a mani-pedi with me after school.
Oh, I-I've never gotten a real mani-pedi before.
Okay. Cool. We can have some quality time...
alone.
These look better than the last batch, so...
Hey, bub.
So right now,
I'm in a lot of trouble for these stickers.
Apparently, you guys had this street artist
who designed Barack Obama's first campaign,
and he had the slogan "Hope," too,
so it makes me look like a complete cherry picker.
- I... Like, I look like a dag. - No.
- I-I look like a silly bum. - No. Just...
I look like One Direction stealing Janoskians music.
I-I look like a fraud!
Ahh! They're everywhere!
So, uh, you still want to come study with me?
No. I'm gonna go get a mani-pedi.
I can't study with my nails looking like normal, can I?
Of course not.
Thanks for inviting me.
Yeah. I do it every week.
It's expensive, but that's what my dad's credit card is for.
He feels bad that he's never around,
and that's why he does it,
but doesn't stop him. Cool, right?
The cooliest.
So, um, are you dating anyone?
God, no.
Guys my age are so obnoxious.
I think I need someone more sensitive.
Yeah. You know, I got lucky with Kai,
but even then, I had to travel
halfway across the world to get him, so...
My nails look so pretty.
So what'd the teachers say about the good news?
Uh, about what now?
About your remission letters that I sent.
Right. Um, no, nothing.
You know, no one's called me yet.
Everyone's super busy with midterms and... and stoof.
Are you taking those?
That's the plan, and if it's all on chapter one,
page one, paragraph one, I'll be fine.
Oh, you're gonna do great.
Yeah, well, I have plenty of time to be great now, so...
What's happening on your fingernails?
Oh, I got a manicure. Do you like it?
Yeah, I like...
Uh, we can't afford a manicure.
Okay. Well, Zoe paid for it.
and she considers it therapeutic, so...
Oh. Zoe.
Zoe, the doctor.
Uh, when do I get to meet her?
- Maybe later. - Tonight?
I don't know, Mom, but, um, I'm gonna go study mitosis,
and if I can remember correctly, it's how cancer cells replicate.
Can't wait to hear why these were in your bag
and not in your teachers' mailboxes.
Well, why were you going through my stuff?
Why are you stealing from mailboxes?
This is a fun game.
Because I want to tell everyone on my own.
I-I was only trying to help.
I don't need your help, so...
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Can you close the door?
Then she says, "Close the door."
There's no closed doors in our house.
So I want to keep helping her, but I have to help her
in the way that I haven't always helped her,
so I need your help.
What can I do?
You know, I want to respect her boundaries,
and I want to give her space,
but I also have to keep tabs on her hard-core.
You want me to spy on her?
Yes.
Heh, I'm not gonna do that.
You know, then guide her or counsel her.
You know, i-it's actually built into your job title.
You know, what do you guys actually do?
Both those things,
but not always in that order.
Sorry. I'm, uh,
coming off angrier than I intend to.
Just, I-I do not know how to help her anymore.
Look, if anything happens,
I will definitely let you know about it.
But otherwise, you're gonna have to let her figure it out on her own.
And what if she ends up making terrible choices?
She's a kid.
She's definitely gonna make bad choices.
Great.
Thank you.
- Oh, Dolores... - Uh-huh?
Could you close the door?
Oh, yeah. I see what you did there.
Is it better to burn out or fade away?
I-I mean, look at Heath Ledger or James Dean
or Janis Joplin or Jimmi Hendrix.
I mean, they all died young,
not like these old people that just keep on living,
and you're just like, "Gah, when is it gonna happen?"
That was mean, but, anyway,
I'm just asking a hypothetical question for a friend.
Is it better to die popular or live a loser?
Heh. Oh, my God.
You... You see that girl over there?
Yeah.
Go ask her if she wants to sit with us,
and when she's like, "Yes," say, "I'm kidding."
That's not really funny.
That's the point of a joke.
I'll do it.
Hey, you want to come sit with us?
Hey. You were supposed to meet me. What happened?
What are you listening to?
- I just forgot. I-I'm sorry. - You mean you didn't want to?
No, I did. I was just studying last night.
Did you know that I have six midterms, one for every subject?
Yeah.
Seth, stop bothering her.
She has cancer.
Yeah, but it's...
Oh, my God!
It's getting worse?
Oh, my God. The cancer?
- Yeah. - Oh, my God.
Hey. Here you go.
Those guys are jerks. Don't worry about it.
- Thank you. - Sure.
It's getting worse, so...
"Hey, Hope, what did you do today?"
"Oh, I just told everyone and their mom
that my cancer's getting worse, and that's so not true,
and I'm such a liar, and I hate myself."
Oh, my God. I'm so sad.
We just got mani-pedis.
I want to throw you a party to, you know, help.
It'll be kind of like a wake, but you're still alive.
No. No, no, no. I can't let you do that.
You're not letting me. I want to.
My house, next Friday. Cool.
Okay, but that wasn't part of the plan,
- but there was... - Hope.
Where have you been? Why didn't you tell me?
I just told Zoe, like, 60 seconds ago.
How did you find out?
Okay. Um...
Is it true?
Yes?
I need to tell you something.
Okay, so some of the most perfect things in life
don't last forever, like sunsets or rainbows
or the polar ice caps,
and I know you're not gonna be around forever,
so I wanted to tell you how I really felt.
I love you.
No, no, you don't.
Oh, my God. You do.
Well, I love you, too, Kai.
So the cooliest thing happened today.
Kai told me he loved me, and I love him, too,
so that's cool.
Hey, are you coming to the bowling party tomorrow?
- Yeah. I'll be there. - So great you told everyone,
and now Zoe's throwing that party for you Friday night.
Hey, are her parents gonna be there?
Um, probably not. They have weird jobs, so...
O-Oh, okay.
Yeah, Mom, okay.
So we're, um, hanging out, so you can just not...
Oh, not be here? Okay.
So Zoe's throwing you a party.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah, okay. It's not a big deal, okay,
so let's just watch, you know, watch a movie.
What about "Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl"?
Or how about "Life of Pi"?
Or "The Kings of Summer"
- or "Life is Beautiful"? - No.
No more movies about death, okay?
Death isn't a joke.
Okay, I'll put on "Life of Pi,"
or whatever, but I'm not happy about it.
You're not happy about anything.
Oh, I know. What if you weren't dying?
- Would that make you happy? - Okay.
Mmm, wait. Mmm.
Okay, okay, look, I-I need you more than anyone
to understand what I'm going through, you know?
I-I'll tell them.
Wait.
Wait. You didn't even tell them yet?
I'm getting there. I just need more time.
You need more time? Oh, my God.
That is such a non-terminal person thing to say.
Hey, that's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me.
No, it's not. In the sixth grade,
boys called you Casper, the flat-chested ghost.
Stop.
Look, I already feel pretty bad.
You should have seen Seth and my mom's faces.
They were, like, so happy.
And you're not happy?
Well, I'm not not happy.
I'm just scared for how everything's gonna change.
Things were always going to change anyway.
This kind of change is good.
I like things the way they are.
I-I like my boyfriend.
I like my friends. I...
I mean, you should see how mean everyone is
to the kids who don't fit in.
They broke some girl's phone today.
I'm glad cancer is all about the attention for you,
because for me,
it's about how I can't go to school
or swallow food...
that I'll never be kissed,
and that pretty soon, I will be completely forgotten.
I won't forget about you.
- You already have. - That's so not true.
You know, maybe... maybe we aren't really friends.
Maybe we never really were.
Maybe we just had dying to keep us close,
because right now, it seems like we have nothing in common.
You know what? You're right.
Because I have... I have Zoe now,
and I don't even care about you anymore.
They don't actually like you.
They actually love me.
Kai told me, so you're just jealous.
Oh, God.
Okay, I convinced that nurse
to let us get in to see the doctor first,
and then I was able to push back my 2:30,
so now we will able to squeeze all of this in.
Then I'm gonna drop you off at home,
and then I have got to get back to the office.
It's a busy day, huh?
Yeah, it's a busy day.
Yeah, I just walked right up to her, and I was like,
"My daughter is having a transplant.
We need to meet with Dr. Karato immediately."
It's a power thing with these doctors,
making you wait. Drives me nuts.
Hey, how are you feeling?
I'm fine.
Great. You mind?
No, I'm good.
Go for Helen.
No.
No, absolutely not.
You tell him no.
Hey, come on.
Come on.
You know, I really should be studying, getting good grades.
No, hey, hey, don't worry about it. This is great.
- Okay, this is the future. - If this is the future,
where's cancer when you need it, you know?
Look, you can finally embrace
all the things life has to offer, okay?
Everything you could ever want is within reach.
Well, I can reach the pamphlets.
I... Do I need the pamphlets?
You do. Look, we've got community college.
We've got computer programming school.
- Exciting. - We've got the Army
- and the Navy. - No and no.
Look, okay, why don't we just grab a couple of these pamphlets
and go over 'em, I don't know, say, maybe Friday, 10 p.m.?
I think you know that's when Zoe's party for me is.
Guess you're planning on going to that.
Yeah, I'm gonna go with my boyfriend
to the super-cool party being planned for me
instead of sitting inside, looking at lame pamphlets
that are for careers 15 years ahead, so...
Hey, at least you admit you've got 15 more years.
Cobber, mates.
Hey, babe.
You're lookin' bonzer as ush.
So, uh, what are you doing here?
Um, I'm not here for me. I-It's for Seth.
Ah, cool. You gonna be a digger, mate?
- What'd you call me? - You wanna join the Army.
Oh, God, no.
Now I want you to take this pamphlet home, and look at this.
You get some pair of sunglasses, too. How 'bout that?
Thank you.
Hope, it's so brave of you to be here.
It must be so depressing
to see people inspire to have a career.
I think it's "aspire," actually.
Totally.
Hope!
Nurse Joyce.
Ooh. Hope, is this the famous Kai?
- Yeah. - Nice to meet you.
His eyes are even more sparkly than you described.
Yep. There are many solar systems.
And that accent, mmm.
Um, I just want to thank you so much
for looking after Hope. It's been hard, you know.
Despite all the treatment, she's still getting worse.
What are you talking about?
Oh, that Hope is super close to dying
and there's nothing you can do about it.
Hope's not dying.
Oh. Do you guys call it something else?
- "You guys," as in doctors? - Totally.
Hope, uh, I thought you told them.
What's she talking about, babe?
Yeah, "babe," what's she talking about?
Uh, I was going to tell you...
Your manicure.
I'm going to tell you,
uh, right... now.
Um...
Well, are you gonna tell us?
Uh, totally. Um...
Well, uh, you know how it's really meant a lot to me
to have so many new friends, and...
Kai, you... you know how you feel about you,
and I know how you feel about me,
so I'm just... I'm just gonna say it. Um...
I'm actually not getting sicker, I'm actually getting better,
so I'm getting so much better that I don't need treatment,
on account that I'm getting better. Um...
in conclusion, I am not dying a teenager.
Ta-da.
Eww.
Um, we're supposed to replace you.
Hey, this has nothing to do with you.
Yes, it does. We brought her cupcakes.
Kai, say something.
You lied to me.
It was an accident. It just came out,
and I'm better. Isn't that all that matters?
Look, Hope, I care about you. I do.
I'm 17. I'm not ready for a long-term commitment.
I left Australia for you.
I haven't seen my family in ages.
But you love me.
I mean, you love me, right?
Bigger wanker than I thought.
Yeah, well, at least I'm not in love with some girl
who thinks I'm just some bloke!
Oh, my God. You totally love her.
Whatever.
I'm just gonna go paint something.
I heard Hope doesn't have cancer anymore,
so we're gonna have to change the name of my party.
What about a cupcake party?
Yes.
I hope you're happy.
What?
You're the only reason
I'm at this stupid career fair to begin with,
embracing dumb life and its stupid opportunities.
No, that's life. Sometimes you get hurt.
What do you know about getting hurt?
Dying is easy.
Life is hard.
You have... You have no idea what I go through.
I've been around you every day now.
Every day, I'm here with you. You tell me your problems,
and I'm listening to you.
I know what you're going through.
All you do is just follow me around.
Fine. I'm out.
Well, thanks for another great life event.
Today was kind of... kind of the worst day ever.
I went from being at the top of the top to...
nothing.
Don't have any more fake friends,
and my real friends can't stand me.
Hello.
Hey.
- Hey! - What are those?
- These are apology brownies. - Why?
Oh, I'm sorry. They're not for you.
They're for all of the people that Hope lied to.
But why are you sorry? You didn't...
You didn't do anything wrong.
I didn't do anything wrong, but Hope did,
and she's my kid and reflects on me,
so I baked brownies.
Dolores, it is not your job to protect her.
You know, people say that.
People say that a lot,
but if I didn't protect her...
she could have died.
You know what I've protected her from?
I've protected her from germs, getting too much sun.
I have actually protected her from elderly people hugs.
All right, I have been a one-person defensive line,
and this high school, it's like a malignancy, right?
Those mean girls, they're like an infection.
High school is just hard.
Forget cancer or a girl with one parent.
It's just hard.
All day long, I've got kids who need to learn
how to build up their own immunities.
Half of high school is learning how to live in this world.
She wasn't supposed to live in this world...
and I didn't prepare her to.
Well, guess what, Dolores, she is now,
and there's no right way of going about this,
but you got to let her figure it out.
Agh!
I don't like it.
What... What do you want me to tell you?
Told me enough.
I got it.
See? I guided and counseled.
- Yeah. Caught it. - Yeah.
- Ah, thank you. - It's quite impressive.
Heh.
Earned yourself a plate of brownies.
No, no, no, no. I can't. It's...
- I can't. - Oh, all right.
No, no, no. It's actually... It's fine.
Yeah.
Do you think anyone is gonna come
to this bowling party tomorrow?
What bowling party?
Five bucks, this is a gutter ball.
Well, this isn't sad at all.
No one came to your bowling party, D.
Mr. G came.
Look, I'm sorry that Kai broke up with you.
Yeah, well, I feel like cancer broke up with me, too.
You weren't dating cancer.
Yeah, well, it lived with me, slept with me,
brought me lots of flowers and attention.
Uh, no. People brought you those.
Yeah, because I had cancer.
You know, forget about Kai and those girls,
because the people who matter still care about you.
Well, screwed that up, too, so...
I texted Seth and Sarah, like, a million times,
and nothing.
Were you being a brat?
Thank you.
Glad to know you're not on my side either.
This isn't about sides.
Well, then, you know what? I don't need to be here,
- so enjoy your gutter balls. - Hope...
Should we still...
Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're bowling.
She can have a pity party all by herself.
I'm sorry.
I-I thought this would be fun. Thank you for actually coming.
No, my pleasure. Thank you for having me.
Nah, I had this big idea,
'cause we used to come here all the time when she was little.
She loved it here, you know, before all the...
Yeah.
It still has the same smell.
You know, it's very, uh... I don't know.
Comforting? Old shoes.
I get it.
I like to go down to the river.
Yeah, dead fish.
- That's a comforting smell. - No, not the dead fish.
I-I watch for boats.
- Boats. - Yep.
- Do we have boats on the river? - Nope, we don't,
but we do have the second most drawbridges
of any city in the world, second to Amsterdam,
but first in diversity.
Ah. The more you know...
I just completely geeked out on you right now.
I'm sorry. That's... Just I'm from Rhode Island,
and we have a rich maritime tradition there...
And I just said, "maritime."
I don't know why I'm rambling about boats.
But I get it.
Change can be hard.
Yeah. Hope's going through a lot.
I meant for you.
You know what's hard?
What's that?
That you're about to lose.
Oh, my God.
Okay. Let's see what you got.
Good morning. I'm nurse Kelly.
I'm going to be taking you down to the operation today, okay?
Can you tell me your date of birth?
8-30-1998.
All right. And can you tell me what you're having done today?
An autologous hematopoiesis cell transplantation.
And can you tell me your pain level?
Okay. Thank you.
All right. Let's go.
I would love to see everybody at the basketball game tonight.
I can't promise you an amazing game,
but, as you know,
the nachos are free with your student I.D.
Hey, hey, hey!
The bell does not dismiss you. I dismiss you.
Okay, you can go. Hope.
Proud of you.
Hands to yourself, man.
Look, if it's about the D,
it's not gonna happen again.
Hope, it's nothing to do with the test.
I and every other teacher have let certain things slide.
We've been grading you based on your situation,
and I know this is hard.
I mean, I've been in high school before.
It can be very challenging to navigate,
but it doesn't benefit you for you to keep thinking
that you can be this straight-A student
if you're not putting forth serious effort.
I think you're capable of more than you know.
Come on.
You kicked cancer's butt.
So if there's anything I can do, I'm happy to help in any way,
but you gotta let me know.
Hey.
Watch it.
Thanks so much.
That's what you wanted, to sit in this section?
- Yeah. - You want to sit here?
So, uh, how's the boy thing going right now?
You seeing anyone?
- No. I kind of want to... - Yeah?
but I'm not with anybody.
Mm-hmm. How long have you been single?
- Do you know anyone? - Um...
So are you saying Australians are good kissers?
Yes.
Seth, Seth, are you here?
Come on. Pick up. Please pick up.
- Hey, you've reached Seth... - Voicemail, okay.
I'm pathetic.
Well, where's Sarah?
- She's already gone. - What?!
I'm sorry. I just mean you missed her.
She left for a procedure, but I can't tell you for what.
- Nurse Joyce, please... - Ah-ah. As a nurse,
I can't tell you that information.
I can't tell you that she's downstairs going into surgery.
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
Don't tell 'em I told you that.
- This is Helen. - Where is Sarah?
Well, she hasn't been responding to any of my texts.
She's in recovery.
Wh-Why?
She's had a pretty delicate transplant procedure.
Well, I-I have to see her.
She's resting.
Well, what can I do?
Nothing. I have to go.
Mom.
Yeah?
I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately.
You've been through so much.
Half of me wants to tell you that you don't ever
have to apologize for anything ever again.
And the other half?
You don't want to know.
I'm gonna fix this.
I promise.
Okay.
So my boyfriend is now dating
the most popular girl in school,
my two best friends hate me,
I'm failing all my classes,
and I'm sitting in a toilet
where someone definitely puked before, so that's great.
This is my life now. No more cupcakes,
just toilet sandwiches.
You get used to it.
Thanks, but, um,
I don't really want to get used to it, so...
Are you the girl who's dying?
Yeah... maybe.
No.
Well, when I was in the sixth grade,
I got braces, orthopedic shoes, scoliosis brace.
My parents got divorced.
It was... It was brutal, yeah.
Okay, I'm coming out. This is weird.
Kids can be so mean.
Or nice.
It's just so random,
like cancer or scoliosis.
Look, I was such a big jerk,
and I-I should have stopped them,
and I didn't, and I'm sorry.
Thanks for that.
But you can't just apologize.
What do you mean?
Who cares if you're sorry?
You have to do something about it.
Yeah, you're right.
Well, I go by Mildred, Millie, with an IE.
Hope, you know, like Obama.
Sorry.
My mom would love you.
Gotta sanitize if you want to fraternize.
You know what I mean?
That's nice.
I like that.
What's this?
- It dries them. - Oh.
Gets the small a-goin'.
I need you to guide me.
The MCATs?
Yes. I want to be a pediatric oncologist.
Are you out of your mind?
Probably not even gonna graduate high school.
Do you have any doubt I'm down for the impossible?
I'm not a betting man.
More of a board game man, actually.
- Eww. - But if I was,
I would definitely bet on you.
Why don't we focus on passing junior year first?
And then we'll work on the MCATs.
Fine.
You're welcome.
Prometaphase...
metaphase, um, anaphase...
You know, your... your hands really look like they're itching
to cut up some zukes, so why don't you...
why don't you take over?
Okay.
I'm pretty good at this, actually.
And telophase.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Nearly 20 minutes late. I can't give you the test.
No, Mr. Baser, please. I've studied. I'm ready.
Just give me the test.
School policy.
Okay. You can't give it to me,
but you can't stop me from taking it.
Hope, what are you... what are you doing?
You don't even have the questions.
Well, then I'll just have to write down everything I know.
What...?
And everybody just keep your eyes on your paper.
Then we'll be good, right?
Yeah.
How'd the test go?
Well, I probably got a C, but I nailed the stuff
on cancer cell growth. So what's next?
Next you have a test on early American history.
Quickly, name the first five presidents.
Monroe, Madison, Jefferson, Adams, Washington.
No, that's completely wrong.
I said them in reverse.
Why?
Because I can.
So Millie told me I can't actually just say I'm sorry.
I have to do something.
I mean, she's right.
And I think I have a plan.
I just don't know whether it's gonna work or not.
Oh. Heh. Hey.
Thanks for agreeing to meet.
Yeah, sure. So you and Hope are, like, friends now?
I'm helping her.
- Why? - 'Cause she screwed up,
but she's trying to make it better.
Where is she?
Studying. You know, she is so far behind.
Yeah. I been trying to tell her to study, actually.
Well, at least she's doing it now.
Yeah.
Um, what I want to ask you
is that, are you going to Zoe's party this Friday?
Yeah, of course.
Hope's got something planned, but we need your help.
Can we count on you?
Yeah, I don't know about that.
What do you mean?
You guys are Hope and Seth, Seth and Hope.
Yeah, I just... I don't really know
how I, uh, feel about her right now.
Okay. Well, sorry.
? Yo, to the stars And beyond us ?
? Yo, this is how You take over the world ?
- ? World ? - ? World, world ?
? Not leaving one out If I make it to the top ?
? From my grandmama's couch I'll make it look easy ?
? You break easy You over it, and I know ?
? Why you shaking Over that dope? ?
? Why you living up With that call ?
? You got that, break that ?
? Crowd that, stage that ?
? Ego trip, awake that ?
? Loud that, bass ?
? No other plan A on my rider ?
? And I love it for my team ?
? Wave a fantasy, agree ?
? We on that yellow submarine ?
? The way we on Twenty on the limit ?
- ? Ain't no way I'm gonna... ? - Why are you so boring?
? Spend it on your soul ?
Do you want to dance?
Oh, no. Thank you. Uh...
Awkward.
Shut up.
- Oh, here. - This is her favorite song.
? I danced across The parking lot ?
? So nervous But I laughed it off ?
? Now I can't stop looking At my phone ?
? Just want to see your name ?
? When I close my eyes All I see ?
? Is me right there In his front seat ?
? His headlights pouring Down my street ?
? I try to forget But I can't lie ?
? His words Keep me up at night ?
? If it's 4:30 And I can't sleep ?
? You don't have to guess ?
? What's keeping me Up at night ?
? What's keeping me Up at night... ?
Hey.
Thank you for coming to my party.
Yeah, sure. Where are your parents?
I don't know.
- How's Hope? - Is she dead yet?
Uh, no, still not...
Uh, you know, I don't know.
I just... I kind of want her to get it, you know, again.
Cancer?
You want her to get cancer again?
No! What's wrong... No.
I want her to, like, understand what's important.
Oh, that's hard. I gave up on that, like, a year ago.
You really like her.
Of course. I mean...
she's my best friend.
Like, Mate, you like her like her,
like, like her, like.
You know, you two are really perfect for each other, really.
Aww. Thanks, mate.
- Thank you. - ? All I see... ?
Hey. How'd it go with Seth?
I'm not sure.
Okay. Well, we have to do this.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Ready? Okay. - Yep. Let's go.
? You're keeping me up At night ?
? You're keeping me Up at night ?
? Up ?
Hey, uh, everyone, everyone,
everyone, hey, um, I have to show you something, so...
Eww. This is my party. You can't just use my TV.
May I please use the TV?
You may.
I'm Hope Gracin.
- What is this? - It's Hope.
- Clearly. - Hey!
I used to date that girl!
Shut up.
You probably know me as the girl who had cancer.
Cancer and I were inseparable since I was 12.
At first, I was scared, and...
then something weird happened.
It became familiar.
I stopped hating it.
It was really messed up, but I-I started liking it.
When I found out I was in remission, I...
I was scared and confused, and I got angry that something
that I had become so used to was taken away from me,
and I lost sight of what really mattered...
my real friends and family.
My best friend Sarah still has cancer,
and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me,
and I owe it to her to figure life out.
I'm sorry I lied.
I never should have done that.
I just wanted you guys to like me more than anything,
and that was my mistake...
and I should have known better.
How was it?
Good job.
Heh, Hey.
Seth. Heh.
So how was the party?
Um, they kind of turned
your death party into a cupcake party.
Can't believe they actually did that.
- I can, kinda. - Yeah.
Zoe and Kai and all them are kind of the worst people ever.
Good cupcakes. Bad people.
Yeah.
I'm sorry I keep making you sneak into places.
No, you're not.
Heh. No, I'm not.
I'm not even a little bit.
Hey, I mean, at least you admit it.
Well, you love it. I mean, I get us into trouble.
You get us out of trouble.
Mm, the perfect team.
We kind of are, right?
Yeah, we kind of are.
So you don't... hate me?
I don't hate you.
Good.
'Cause I couldn't stand it if you hated me.
Uh, visiting hours are over.
But i-it's important,
like life-or-death important.
Her immune system is still weak.
We know the drill.
You have ten minutes.
When I come back to check
her blood pressure again, you're gone.
Thank you.
Sarah...
I'm so, so, so sorry.
You mentioned that in the video.
You watched it?
I have an alert on your channel.
I mean, could you ever forgive me?
And before you answer, just know
I plan on spending the rest of my life
trying to make it up to you.
Oddly, I kind of get it.
You've always gotten it, and I-I forgot. I forgot.
I mean, I forgot you guys are what make me special,
not being popular or whatever.
How was it, though, being popular?
It was not the worst thing...
but it was so not worth it.
I am so sorry I hurt you.
Thank you.
And it's the stupidest thing i-in the history of the world
that I'm in remission and you're still sick,
and I can't do this if you're not here.
Well, I'm still here.
And I'm happy you're here, too.
I love you.
I love you more.
Not possible.
Come on.
You guys are gonna make me cry. Come on.
"Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never is, but always to be blessed:
The soul, uneasy and confined from home,
rests and expatiates in a life to come."
What I think that means
is that there's always a reason to be optimistic,
even though life can be really hard,
but you can get through it
if you focus on what really matters.
Sarah got to reenroll in school for the coming fall,
and Sarah's mom has been spending more time at home with her.
Mr. Garner is going to take us on vacation to Rhode Island
to look at boats, ugh, which sounds lame,
but if it makes them happy, I'm happy.
Millie doesn't have to eat in the bathroom anymore.
And Seth, Seth's Seth.
Who knows what'll happen?
And I am super into my schoolwork
and being stupid with friends again.
So that's the story of how I learned
to live life without an expiration date.
After all, I was named Hope for a reason.
? You are not your makeup, Not your clothes ?
? An anonymous face That no one knows ?
? You're not a skin color A pretty face ?
? The number of inches Around your waist ?
? There's so much That you've been through ?
? That nobody knows ?
? So many things You never show ?
? You're more than labels ?
? More than pain ?
? Baby, you're more Than your mistakes ?
? You got something to say ?
? Oh, whoa ?
? When will you realize ?
? Baby, you're worth it? ?
? You don't have to do anything To earn it ?
? Baby, you're perfect ?
? You deserve it ?
? When will you see What I see ?
? And realize you're worth it? ?
? You are not a burden Not a waste ?
? You're not a copy Can't be replaced ?
? You're not your pain Not your past ?
? The scars Will never hold you back ?
? There's so much That you've been through ?
? That nobody knows ?
? So many things You never show ?
? You're more than labels ?
? More than pain ?
? And, baby You're more than your mistakes ?
? You got something to say ?
? Oh, whoa ?
? When will you realize ?
? Baby, you're worth it? ?
? You don't have to do anything To earn it ?
? Baby, you're perfect ?
? You deserve it ?
? When will you see What I see ?
? And realize you're worth it? ?
? You're worth it Baby, you're worth it ?
? You're worth it, baby You're worth it ?
? You're worth it Baby, you're worth it ?
? You're worth it, baby You're worth it ?
- ? Hey... ? - ? You're worth it ?
? Baby, you're worth it ?
? You're worth it Baby, you're worth it ?
? You're worth it, baby You're worth it ?
? You're worth it ?
? More than labels ?
? More than pain ?
? And, baby You're more than your mistakes ?
? You got something to say ?
I wanted to share my story,
because in sharing, we can grow stronger together,
and making fun of things that scare us,
we can overcome them.
The problem is now that I'm not dying,
so I have to figure out what to make fun of.
That's gonna be fun.
? Oh, whoa ?
? When will you realize ?
? Baby, you're worth it? ?
? You don't have to do anything To earn it ?
? Baby, you're perfect ?
? You deserve it ?
? When will you see What I see ?
? See what I see? ?
? And realize you're worth it? ?
? You're worth it Baby, you're worth it ?
? You're worth it, baby ?
- ? You're worth it ? - ? Ohh... ?
? You're worth it Baby, you're worth it ?
? You're worth it, baby You're worth it ?
- ? You're worth it ? - ? Baby, you're ?
? Baby, you're worth it ?
? You're worth it, baby You're worth it ?
? You're worth it Baby, you're worth it ?
? You're worth it ?
? Yo, to the stars And beyond us ?
? Yo, this is how You take over the world ?
- ? World ? - ? World, world ?
? Not leaving one out If I make it to the top ?
? From my grandmama's couch I'll make it look easy ?
? You break easy You over it, and I know ?
? Why you shaking Over that dope? ?
? Why you living up With that call? ?
? You got that, break that ?
? Crowd that, stage that ?
? Ego trip, awake that ?
? Loud that, bass ?
? No other plan A on my rider ?
? And I love it for my team ?
? Wave a fantasy, agree ?
? We on that yellow submarine ?
? The way we on Man, I ain't stopping ?
? Twenty on the limit ?
? Ain't no way I'm gonna drop it ?
? Put in my pocket Spend it on your soul ?
? Just a little ?
? I can't fight it ?
? Something brighter ?
Hey, T, you know what's doper than a million?
Me.
? Sellout at the L.A. ?
? Hold up all your phones ?
? I probably missed the winner ?
? Back him But how would I know? ?
? The kid will call you When I get a chance ?
? The rapper needs some dough I know you mad at ?
? But the ground will show you Pictures of the go ?
? Like watch me throw All of it in the air Just to watch it fall ?
? Watch me throw All of it in the air Just to watch it fall ?
? Watch me throw All of it in the air ?
? Just to watch it fall down ?
? I'll sit there And I'll watch it fall down ?
? Heh, man, I ain't stoppin' ?
? Twenty on the limit Ain't no way I'm gonna drop it ?
? Put it in my pocket Spend it on your soul ?
? Just a little ?
? I can't fight it ?
? Something brighter ?
? 'Til I get that million ?