GIRL 1: I need your help, Veronica.
- BOY 1: You can't tell anyone. - BOY 2: I need your help.
GIRL 2: I need to know.
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
VERONICA: A teenaged private eye.
Trust me, I know how dumb that sounds.
But it's not like I found a decoder ring at the bottom of a cereal box...
and thought, "That sounds like fun."
I wish. That would've been adorable.
Nope. My best friend was murdered when I was 15.
Trying to figure out who did it was how I coped.
My dad was sheriff at the time.
And when he went after the most powerful man in town...
he turned us both into pariahs.
Dad lost his job and I lost my friends.
Kids can be cruel, after all.
The cruelest was Logan Echolls, my dead friend's boyfriend.
Like me, Logan was fueled by rage and distrust.
He wanted to make someone pay.
It's likely those qualities are what drew us together.
They're absolutely what tore us apart.
After my dad was run out of office, he got his PI license and opened an agency.
I hung out there to learn the tricks of the trade.
There was plenty of work for both of us in the seedy beach town of Neptune, California.
People might think of Neptune as glamorous.
Home to movie stars and captains of industry.
But when the class war comes, Neptune will be ground zero.
It's a Springsteen song:
Get out while you're young.
I got out when I was 19, leaving a trail of destruction in my wake.
I've grown up, though.
That was the old me. Angry me. Vengeful me.
New me? People say I'm a marshmallow.
GAYLE: So a year at Hearst College.
BA in Psychology from Stanford.
Near the top of your class at Columbia Law.
You're due to take the bar in six weeks.
A little about us:
We're a multinational firm.
Fifty lawyers in New York.
Our clients here at Truman-Mann are primarily Fortune 500 companies.
Our job is to make sure that frivolous lawsuits disappear before they reach the courtroom.
We're looking at a number of candidates.
All with impressive r?sum?s...
but none quite as unique as yours.
You were issued a private investigator's license for your 18th birthday?
Heh. Is that something California kids do?
My dad is a Pl. I worked for him.
It was more answering phones and handling his travel than anything else.
Really? Before you were 20, your name popped up on LexisNexis in 14...
Fifteen.
Fifteen separate articles or briefs...
in cases ranging from multiple homicides to dognapping.
You have a degree in psychology, Miss Mars.
What do you think that says about a person?
Compulsive, clearly.
Addictive personality.
Possible adrenaline junkie.
But that's not me anymore.
I haven't worked a case since I transferred to Stanford.
And why is that?
The price was too high.
It ruined friendships and relationships.
Cost me a lot of opportunities along the way.
So your decision to transfer wasn't related...
to a certain video of you and another Hearst student?
- The sex tape? No need to be coy. - Leonard.
It's fine. As lawyers, we are often put in adversarial situations.
Opposing counsel will seek to exploit any perceived weakness.
All I'll say about that tape, is it was made and distributed without my knowledge.
And I'll ask you:
Do I look ruffled?
PIZ: Rebuilding her life took time.
More time than you'd think.
Zhi Howes was broke. And worse, people considered her passe.
She thought about restarting her moribund career with a Kickstarter campaign...
but the potential for further humiliation was daunting.
They brought up the sex tape?
I think I handled it okay. I have another meeting tomorrow with one of the partners.
I hope we talk STDs.
(PIZ CHUCKLES) (CELL PHONE BUZZES)
(VERONICA CHUCKLES)
- PIZ: What? - Wallace.
He keeps trying to get me to come in for our 10-year reunion.
"Not bloody likely."
- Hey, Piz. - PIZ: Yeah.
The Zhi Howes story. How long is it gonna be now?
- Uh, 12 and a half minutes. - You're killing me.
- Hi. - GLASS: Hi.
You must be the girlfriend who we have heard so much about...
and never seen.
I am. Law school.
- GLASS: Mm. - Um, I'm a really big fan of the show, though.
Funny story. I do a pretty wicked impression of you.
I don't think we... I don't think it's a good idea.
Uh, we dated for months in college, and this whole last year...
and she's only meeting my parents for the first time next week.
She blames law school for that too. So the fact that she hasn't met my colleagues...
Veronica?
Bonnie DeVille was found dead in her bathtub.
Oh, that's awful.
You a fan?
I went to high school with her.
She was Carrie Bishop back then.
(PLAYING THE DANDY WARHOLS' "WE USED TO BE FRIENDS")
BUSKER SINGING: A long time ago.
We used to be friends
(PIZ WHISTLES)
But I haven't thought of you lately at all.
If ever again A greeting I send to you.
Short and sweet to the soul is all I intend.
VERONICA: I haven't seen or spoken to Logan in nine years.
PIZ: Veronica!
VERONICA: I heard he got his life together. Then, suddenly, he's all over the gossip pages.
"Son of a movie star dates pop star."
"Son of a movie star beats up paparazzi."
"Caught on camera: Son of a movie star threatens celebrity girlfriend's life."
(INDISTINCT DIALOGUE ON RADIO)
MAN ON RADIO: De Ville was electrocuted in her bathtub.
Local authorities have ruled the singer's death a homicide...
and are focusing their investigation on ex-boyfriend, Logan Echolls.
VERONICA: When I was a kid, Dad stuck a magnet on our fridge...
suggesting we accept the things we cannot change.
I thought it was there for my alcoholic Mom's benefit...
but it stayed up long after Mom was gone.
Sheriff Lamb, is it true that Logan Echolls was in the house when Bonnie died?
We found Echolls passed out next to DeVille's body.
WOMAN ON VIDEO: Sheriff, are you aware of the video...
of Logan Echolls threatening Bonnie?
LOGAN: Get out. You're not welcome here.
You get rid of him, or you're gonna end up dead.
Kind of speaks for itself.
WOMAN: Can you speak to the tragedy...
the violent death of a celebrity who seemed to have it all?
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
(BEEPS)
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
(SIGHS)
So, what's new with you?
LOGAN OVER PHONE: I need your help, Veronica.
I don't really do that anymore.
Look, can you just hear me out?
He's being bombarded by lawyers wanting to represent him.
I'm just gonna go out there, see my dad...
and help Logan weed out the shysters.
Well, give Logan my best.
Tell him I've gotten used to the loose bone fragments floating around my orbital socket.
You may not want to mention that violent streak to his new lawyer.
- Shut up, okay? - Okay.
(CHATTERING)
Hey there.
Hi.
Um...
(VERONICA CHUCKLES)
You weren't planning on carrying me through the airport, were you?
Uh, no, I just met with JAG Corps, so... Fun bunch of guys.
I, um, had heard, of course...
but I couldn't fully picture it.
You should only wear this, like, ever.
Let me?
How did you get through security?
Uh, I bought a $49 ticket to Palm Springs. Totally worth it.
- How was your flight? - Good.
I would've been fine in coach. But thank you.
There's the sun. Do you ever get tired of all this amazing weather?
Yeah, and how about them Dodgers?
Look at us, falling right back into our old rhythms.
I imagine your dad is pretty excited to see you.
I'm surprising him.
So are you gonna ask if I did it?
I wouldn't be here if I thought you did.
Hi.
(KEITH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(PHONE RINGING)
Mars Investigations.
Sorry, he's unavailable. Can I take a message?
Hang in there, Mr. Millet. I should know something in a few days.
Uh, yes, we will take pictures...
but I'm afraid "shooting the son of a bitch" is not a service that we currently offer.
All right, bye.
(VERONICA CHUCKLES)
KEITH: You buckled.
Oh, the magnetic pull of Neptune High brought you back.
- Heh. - Oh, you've got spirit, yes, you do.
Actually...
No.
- Logan. Of course. - I'm just helping him find a lawyer.
Mm-hm.
Oh, Piz says to tell you hi.
KEITH: Good man, Piz.
How'd he feel about you coming out here to see Logan?
It's not a social call.
He understands that.
KEITH: Mm-hm.
He does.
What's going on here?
KEITH: Stop and frisk. Some developer bought up all this...
now our local police are running off the undesirables.
It's the Neptune way.
Protecting and serving the highest bidder.
So this new Sheriff Lamb...
- he as big of a clown as his little brother? - Bigger.
Lazy and barely competent like his brother. More venal and corrupt.
Well, if it isn't the man, the myth, the legendary pain-in-the-ass Keith Mars.
Deputy.
You catch any husbands lately with their pants down?
You should get a slide projector and bring it down to the station.
We'd love to see your dirty-picture collection.
Well, you boys are so busy cleaning up the town, how will you find the time?
(CHUCKLES)
What'd you get those two crime lords for? Embezzlement? Human trafficking?
Don't know yet. But I'm sure we'll figure something out.
I guess you probably let a lot of things slide on your watch.
Those days are gone now.
You know what happens when you mess with the bull, right?
You get the clich?s?
DEPUTY: Lyles!
Look what we got here!
Couple of taggers.
I'm painting my sister's bike, bitch.
Bitch?
Who you calling a bitch?
(YELLS)
LYLES: You want some more juice, boy?
You move one more inch, I will light you up like a Christmas tree.
KEITH: Deputy.
Unless you wanna be a Youtube star by tomorrow morning, let those boys go now.
Or I can shove that phone right up your ass.
KEITH: Well, we've seen how tough you are with boys.
Maybe this is the day you find out how you do with a full-grown man.
(MOTORCYCLES APPROACHING)
Would you look at that? Already uploaded to the Cloud.
Well...
I think these boys have learned a valuable lesson.
Guess we can shut it down for the night.
Let's go.
KEITH: You realize you'll make more in your first year...
- than I did in the best years of my life? - So?
So? You're destined for greatness.
Something much bigger than you would have ever found here.
The only greatness...
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
inherent in these jobs I'm interviewing for...
is the fact that they'll allow me to pay off my student loans.
- Candygram for Mongo. - VERONICA: Mongo like candy.
(ALL CHUCKLING)
WALLACE: Hey, welcome home. Welcome home.
Mac, Wallace. You hardly drop by at all anymore.
MAC: Hi.
- Wallace. - Mr. Mars.
How's next year's freshman class looking?
Words you never wanna hear out of your dad's mouth.
- His team. - Whatever, perv.
I've been promoted to JV coach for next year...
so now I'm just waiting for Coach McDonald to die.
Well, good luck with that. And, Mac, you still with Sun Microsystems?
Actually...
Go ahead and tell them what you been up to now.
The shame. Ooh, the shame.
Hooters waitress? Ren-Faire juggler?
- Telemarketing. - Hooters bar back!
- Clubbing baby seals. - MAC: Heh.
Worse. I actually took a job with Kane Software.
I know. I hate it. I do. I wish I was clubbing baby seals...
but they just pay me so well.
$10,000 Pyramid. "Things a whore says."
- Bud. Bud Light. - Ooh. Thank you.
So when Logan said "jump"...
did you actually say "how high"...
or was there an understanding that you would achieve Max verticality?
Wow. Two beers. That's how long it takes for you to get surly.
In case it slipped your mind, Piz is the one without the baggage and the drama.
Mm. I will say this for him:
He almost never gets charged with murder.
- WALLACE: Mm. - Just one of the things I love about Piz.
No drama.
Says the drama magnet.
You know what else says a lot about a guy?
- His choice of friends. - MAC & WALLACE: Aw!
(DICK BELCHES)
What's this? Wait a minute. No.
I specifically told the agency "an eager-to-please brunette."
Why is that so hard?
- Dick. - Ah, just kidding, Ronnie. Long time.
Hey, Logan, that girl who follows you around is here!
You get some work done? Your boobs look bigger.
So do yours. Where's Logan?
Inside. Come on. Freaking out.
Another video from the Logan Echolls-Bonnie DeVille home collection just hit the Internet.
- Missionary, natch. - VERONICA: Heh.
Must be nice, Dick.
Be it ever so humble.
God, how did they get this?
(MOANING AND HEAVY BREATHING ON VIDEO)
Is anybody else surprised that I'm the only one in this room who does not have a sex tape?
- It could be anybody. - It's us.
- You see us when we enter the room. - Yeah. Worst cameraman ever.
Dumb question, but I have to ask:
Did you know you were being filmed?
Oh, that's right, we were shooting some of our usual leg erotica.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Oh, that's gotta be our first lawyer.
All right, then, allow me.
This footage looks like it was taken from a tripod and it's just a couple feet from the bed.
DICK: Come on in, sir.
Carrie wouldn't be the first celebrity who thought a sex tape might help...
- It wasn't her. - DICK: JC Borden, Esq.
The "JC" is for "Jesus Cristo, get a load of my Rolex."
All right. I'm gonna be out making the Pacific Ocean my bitch.
No murders or forbidden love while I'm gone, okay?
And, uh, hey, stay out of the brownies unless you wanna go on a long, strange trip.
A little free advice?
A murder suspect should avoid proximity to narcotics.
Medicine, man. I got my card.
"Chronic depression." You wouldn't think, huh?
Mm. I can feel my self-worth coming back right now.
So you've met my associate, Dick.
Okay, facts, they're important, yes.
Lucky for us, they're not the end-all, be-all.
This case is about so much more.
Son of a movie star accused of electrocuting his pop star girlfriend?
It will be a circus.
And it will be won or lost in the court of public opinion.
We've got a story to sell here.
Dad murders your girlfriend.
Mom jumps off a bridge.
Most kids, they're gonna fold tent. But not you.
You sign up to fly jets over Afghanistan for your country.
I say you're a goddamn hero.
Some people see that viral video and they say:
"Oh, he's violent. He's unhinged."
I see it, and I see Jesus throwing the money lenders out of the temple.
Hire me. I promise you...
we will find at least one person on that jury who sees it the same.
Who's in charge of your social media?
- LOGAN: Thank you. Good night. - Good night.
I'm guessing you lawyers have to take lots of showers.
VERONICA: Hmm.
My advice?
Go with Jackson Frederick.
He's smart, direct. Kind of face I don't think you'll want to punch.
Well, he did an admirable job of looking like he cared if I did it or not.
Although our last contestant did say something interesting.
She has a stylist in Malibu who's a miracle worker?
Part of clearing you will be finding a compelling alternative theory.
And you fly out tomorrow?
9 A.M.
Let me buy you a drink?
Yeah. Sure.
Where you wanna go?
ALL SINGING: With glowing hearts.
We see thee rise.
VERONICA: Charming drink names.
I can't decide between the Beast with Two Backs or the Donkey Punch.
Ooh. Do you think they'd let me order a virgin Devirginator?
I know this place sucks, but it's karaoke night...
and there's one thing you can count on here.
Sexual assault on a pinball machine?
- Yeah. - Oh, it's grain alcohol and peach schnapps.
We stand our guard for thee
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
MAN: All right.
Give it up for Art Tebbel and the Mounties!
(CHEERING)
Okay. Next up we have...
Ruby Jetson.
(CROWD GROANING AND BOOING)
Who is that?
That is Bonnie DeVille's biggest fan.
We found her hiding in Carrie's closet a couple months ago.
(SINGING) Holding my breath.
While the moon holds me.
Boo!
(AUDIENCE BOOING)
Sit down, you crazy bitch!
What do you expect? They're Canadian.
Hey, Terrance. Phillip.
Like you're the Barenaked Ladies?
(WHISPERING) Shh. I think they might be.
That's the fifth Bonnie DeVille song she's done tonight.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Well, that's what she does.
Hey, uh, this showed up in my inbox.
Ten minutes after Carrie was killed.
"Every ending brings a new beginning. Now we can be together."
My compelling alternative theory.
She sent you this?
No, it's from Bonniefan23.
But if I had to guess...
Try drowning all our memories tonight.
Confession won't save me now.
- I miss her too. - LOGAN: Okay.
Why'd you bring her?
That girl is certifiable.
You know, you should show that e-mail to your lawyer.
LOGAN: Yeah, it's a good thing you said that. I had it earmarked for the scrapbook.
Thank you, Veronica.
Nine years of radio silence and yet I still kind of knew, deep down, I could count on you.
About those nine years...
Ah, bygones.
I didn't get a chance to say before.
I'm really sorry about Carrie.
It's funny, you know?
We had a good first year.
You know, a year of being in love.
Then her shitty friends, her self-loathing kind of destroyed that.
You think I have demons?
She was...
Last year was bad.
And I wasn't a boyfriend.
Not really.
You know, I was something closer to a sponsor.
(LOGAN CHUCKLES)
That's a funny thought, isn't it? Me as a stabilizing influence.
- You're gonna get through this. - Am I?
(LOGAN SIGHS)
Oh, I guess it has been a charmed life.
Take care of yourself, Veronica.
You too.
LEVIN ON TV: As far as I can see it's no big deal. Am I missing something?
LATIBEAUDIERE ON TV: You really want to ask that question?
We're gonna move on. We have a Bonnie De Ville update.
The star's family is pissed off because Logan Echolls...
is still walking around a free man.
Well, the fact is, I mean, Conrad Murray walked the streets for months.
LATIBEAUDIERE: So you're saying you think Logan Echolls did it.
I'm saying that I wouldn't want to be in Logan Echolls' shoes.
Can you name a single person who thinks that kid is innocent?
VERONICA: I can name one.
So, what are you gonna do about it, Veronica?
Ready to head down to the Batcave?
"Accessories"?
Was I trying to keep Dad from looking inside?
Would labeling it "Pandora" have seemed a little, what, I don't know...
operatic?
Haven't you spent nine years figuring out exactly who you are?
Hasn't your life been better since giving this up?
Getting out of Neptune?
It was an iniquitous hellhole when you left.
And from the look of things, it's only gotten more corrupt.
Everything you worked for is right in from' of you.
Solid relationship...
quality job prospects...
a low-profile existence.
Or does all that just bore the shit out of you, Veronica?
VERONICA: It's just a couple more days.
He needs my help.
You said you were gonna be swamped with work anyway.
MAN ON TV: The trade deadline approaching, this affects the league in...
Sticking around for a while?
You know, the magnetic pull of Neptune High...
I'm heading out.
Yep.
(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV)
VERONICA: You know what? It's a one-time deal.
A farewell tour, if you will.
Then again, you ever hear the one...
about the junkie who was satisfied with just one more taste of the good stuff?
You should only wear this.
VERONICA: Neither have I.
That one.
LOGAN: Really? Not what I was expecting.
Not the big house.
It's Unit B according to county tax records.
My guess is, it's the garage apartment out back.
I wanna get inside.
Specifically, I wanna get on her computer.
See if, A, she's the one who sent you that e-mail...
and, B, if she had anything to do with those videos from inside Carrie's house.
I think we would have noticed her filming us.
You found her hiding in Carrie's closet?
She could have hidden a camera anywhere.
A stuffed animal nanny cam, flowers always work.
My dad has a trucker hat that's rigged with a camera.
Flowers.
That's how she got in.
We were having a party. She came over delivering flowers.
We lost track of her in the chaos.
You think there might have been a key lying around when you found Ruby in the closet?
She used it to break in and electrocute Carrie?
No, it's a walled and gated subdivision on the marina.
Lots of celebrity homeowners. Former Mossad agents patrolling the grounds.
Why did you go over there that night?
The tabloids say you broke up with her...
when you found out she was hooking up with that bozo, Sean.
Dick saw a tweet that night saying Carrie was showing up at the 09er.
She'd been 10 weeks sober, so I texted her saying, "You sure that's a good idea?"
She calls me back, starts railing on me.
Later, she texts saying she's having a moment of weakness and needed my help.
So like any good sponsor, you go?
Am I doing this now?
Fine.
LOGAN: I checked in at the gate.
I'd been there enough they knew me. They just let me in.
I'd been to Carrie's house a hundred times.
(ALARM WAILING)
I knew her alarm code.
Everyone knew her code, but this time it didn't work.
Carrie?
Now, the alarm goes off.
Then the phone starts ringing.
(PHONE RINGING)
I knew it was the guard gate...
Carrie!
But I didn't know the code word.
She's not in her bedroom.
Then I see her bathroom door's open.
I walk in and there she is in the tub.
I reach for her.
Next thing I know I'm being read my rights.
- You didn't see the extension cord? - No.
VERONICA: All right. We should get moving.
Your car doesn't exactly blend.
(SINGING) Holding my breath.
VERONICA: What are the odds? Bonnie's first chart-topping hit...
seems to be all about drowning...
and she's found dead in her bathtub.
I can taste all my secrets.
What's the largest capacity memory stick we own?
Aw. You wrote that on my first Father's Day card.
I've got a 256 gig.
Can I borrow it?
Thing holds, like, 75,000 snapshots.
You must really be reconnecting with old friends.
I shoot RAW, man. It's a real memory hog.
Do you know what you're doing here, honey?
The evidence paints a clear picture.
I know Logan has his qualities, but there's a darkness to that kid.
I know what I'm doing.
Hi there.
- Are you Mrs. Barnes? - I am.
My name is Pam Martin.
I am a location scout for a movie...
and the script calls for a garage apartment.
I was hoping you might let me take a look at yours and shoot some pictures.
What's the movie?
It's called The Silver Fox.
It's Clint Eastwood, starring and directing.
You know, my son-in-law does Mr. Eastwood's taxes.
What a wonderful coincidence.
VERONICA: It's hardly surprising there's no record of a Ruby Jetson...
prior to her first Neptune utility bill.
The name sounds made-up.
A way to feel one degree closer to her idol.
Did she arrive in Neptune hoping to pal around with Bonnie?
Become Bonnie?
Become famous by killing Bonnie?
Yahtzee.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Production.
MAN OVER PHONE: Uh, yeah. I just got a call from my mother-in-law...
and she says Clint Eastwood wants to shoot a movie in her backyard.
Well, is your mother-in-law in Neptune?
Because our location scouts are in Neptune today.
I know for a fact Clint Eastwood isn't shooting a movie in Neptune.
Look, I don't know what's going on here, but...
VERONICA: Buried treasure.
The good old Neptune High yearbook.
I suppose this would be a collector's item for Bonnie's biggest fan.
"D. Pugh. Don't let the bastards get you down. Shine your light. Carrie."
The future Bonnie De Ville herself.
So who is this "D. Pugh"?
No way.
Ruby Jetson.
Ha, ha. Like that's a valid excuse.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Man. Excuse me one sec. Give me a minute.
- Don't you know I'm at work? - Hey, buddy. I need a favor.
Can you get me a student's permanent file?
You do realize that I'm a teacher now, Veronica.
An educator.
This is a position of responsibility.
So you're saying it's gonna be super-easy. Good. I did not want to put you out.
- Veronica. - Ugh.
It's not even a current student.
That does not make it okay.
(CAR DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES)
Name's Della Pugh. She was a junior when we were seniors.
- You're the best. - Veronica...
Shit.
(BEEPS)
Balboa County Sheriff's Department. I.D. please, ma'am.
Perfect timing.
Can I get you to step by this window real quick?
Can you just look out? Gorgeous profile.
- Put your hands behind your back. - We need to see some I.D.
Okay, but pensive, like you got a big decision weighing on your mind.
Yes. Perfect.
SACKS: Veronica Mars?
Deputy Sacks.
Kudos for rocking the 'stache till it came back in style.
You made bail, Veronica.
Veronica, my, how you've grown.
Seems like only yesterday you could have been tried as a minor.
Clifford.
Seeing as you spent all that time in law school, you know breaking and entering is a felony.
Come on. I learned that way before law school.
I knew the felonies before I knew the state capitals.
You probably also know, then, that convicted felons don't take the bar exam.
Sorry if I don't think you blowing up your life is a joke.
LAMB: Keith Mars!
Bailing his daughter out of jail. This I had to see.
Sacks, get out your phone.
I think we just got our Sheriff TwitPic of the Day.
Seriously?
- We're just leaving, sheriff. - So, uh, what is it?
You look fit. Not your typical junkie B&E.
- Veronica is friends with the Echolls kid. - LAMB: Of course she is.
- You must be very proud. - You don't want to go down that path.
And what path is that?
The path where you say things regarding my daughter that I don't like.
The thing is Veronica's actually a really resourceful girl.
- Woman. - LAMB: How resourceful can she be, Sacks?
- You busted her. - Veronica?
(CHUCKLES)
This is who you picked up?
Oh, my God. Hilarious, girlfriend.
I know, girlfriend. Isn't it?
This one is always playing pranks on me.
She's good. It's like George Clooney and his friends.
Have you heard the one about him crapping in his buddy's cat box?
- I love it. - Right?
- So, what was it gonna be this time? - I was gonna go with...
the old aluminum vibrator in your carry-on.
Ugh. Bitch.
You two are friends?
Fast friends. BFFs.
If both Miss Jetson and the court agree not to press charges, Veronica's free to go.
The court is only involved if there's an intent to commit a crime. There wasn't.
So the B&E is considered an illegal trespass, a misdemeanor...
leaving the charges entirely in the hands of the victim, I.e., Ruby, I.e., my BFF.
(RUBY CLICKS TONGUE)
What she said.
So, girlfriend, what are you up to?
Where I come from, they just say "thank you."
No, they don't. You went to Neptune High, Della Pugh.
I found you in the yearbook.
You know, at the end of my freshman year, I tried out for the dance team.
I got cut. And you were supposed to be the nice one.
So I came to you and said, "What do I need to do to make the squad?"
And you know what you said to me?
"Dance better."
So why did you bail me out of this jam?
Because you have something that I want.
(LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYING NEARBY)
Everything in my life has led to this moment.
Did she need to be here?
I'm the designated driver. That's the deal.
- Evening, miss. - Just give me a sec to adjust.
I forgot my panties.
So this is happening.
You understand how much trouble I'd be in if she chooses to press charges.
I've let her draw hearts on my upper thigh for the last 10 minutes.
So, yeah, I get the stakes.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
MAN 1: Hey, Logan, is that your new girlfriend?
- Whoa. - Hey.
MAN 2: You gonna kill this one too, lieutenant?
- Right this way, Mr. Echolls. - Thanks.
Thank you.
I was with them, so...
VERONICA: Of course Ruby chose the 09er for her date.
When you're too old to exclude the undesirables from your lunch table...
open a club, charge $22 for a vodka tonic and put up a velvet rope.
Make them think this must be heaven.
Yo, what's up? All alone!
You drinking? You want a drink?
I'm just kidding. Heh.
Yo, see that guy over there?
That's my boy, Broyden.
And he was looking at you...
and you made him premature in his pants.
Also, because he thinks you're really cool.
- He's a good guy, honestly. - Fuck off.
MAN: If you've never been heli-skiing, you never really skied.
I've got a place up in Whistler.
I'll take you up there with me. Fly you up.
There we go. Come on, smile.
Just one little smile. Not gonna smile? You have a boyfriend?
Is he here? What's he do? I'm in hedge funds. What's this guy do?
He's a hit man. He kills people for money.
Can I get a Diet Pepsi?
He's actually looking to invest. Do you have a card?
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
(GAGS)
I just need a break.
Apparently, uh, coming to a club alone is just asking for it.
Oh, God, are too many boys hitting on you? Poor thing.
Do you wanna tell me why you broke into my place, huh?
Well, Bonniefan23, you sent an e-mail...
implying that Bonnie's death had the upside of making Mr. Echolls here available to you.
Don't try and deny it. I know it's true.
You were caught hiding in Bonnie's closet.
And you have, what we in the trade call, a "crazy-ass murderer wall."
It's a technical term.
Most people think I'm the one sitting at a table with a murderer.
No offense, I know you loved her, and you took such good care of her.
I'm just saying, one of us has an airtight alibi...
and the other was found passed out next to Bonnie's body, so...
What's your airtight alibi?
Well, I was outside of this very club with, like, 30 other velvet-rope rejects.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
I need to take this.
I really don't think that you should trust her. She seems kind of skeezy.
(CHUCKLES)
- This is Veronica. - GAYLE OVER PHONE: Veronica.
Hi, it's Gayle Buckley.
I'm so sorry to call so late.
How would you feel about coming to work for us here at Truman-Mann?
I would feel pretty great about that actually. Thank you.
We need you to start Monday. Is that a problem?
Where's your date?
She got them to play a Bonnie single.
(LIP-SYNCHING) Awake and away we go.
To find it again.
Well, on the bright side...
you are not on a date with a murderer.
I do take some comfort in that. How do you know?
Bouncer confirmed it.
Apparently she was outside the club, and performed Medea when the news broke.
So where do we go from here?
Back to New York, I'm afraid.
I, um... I just accepted my very first big, grown-up lawyering job.
Good for you, Veronica.
I don't envy opposing counsel.
I really wanted to see this through with you. To find Carrie's killer.
I can ease your mind there.
- Her dad did it. - I'm listening.
You know that new tattoo she got? The Japanese symbol for serendipity?
That's the name of her dad's firm. The dad she fired as her manager.
She knew he was gonna try to kill her, she implicated him before the fact.
Her dad was in London.
I checked.
Last theory:
Something awful from Bonnie's past has come back to haunt her.
Have you guys even listened to her new album?
Confessional?
The whole thing is about coming clean. She's racked with guilt.
She went to Catholic school until the tenth grade.
And she changed her name from Bishop.
You get what I'm saying.
Not a clue.
She boned a priest.
She was on the verge of telling the world, the Catholic church silenced her.
What?
Sweet dreams.
I am so sorry.
And so grateful. Heh.
Don't be.
I was into it.
We're going skating next week.
Veronica, you flew across the country to help me.
This was easy.
Um, we're going out to dinner tomorrow night.
You should come. Me, Mac, Wallace.
My whole fan club?
No, I don't think so.
So you're not going to the reunion either, then?
I circled that date in my calendar 10 years ago and vowed to skip it.
You need a ride to the airport?
Promised that to my dad.
I guess this is it.
We should take the long way home.
VERONICA: Do I get a chip for this?
Pouring the drink.
Swishing it.
Smelling it.
Leaving the bar without taking a sip?
Is this what getting clean feels like?
(SIGHS)
My daughter, the big-shot New York lawyer.
You're gonna have your own office.
You have your own office.
You'll be respected.
You're respected.
- You're the George Bailey of Neptune. - Ha.
You know the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute stops screwing you when you're dead.
I got a million of them.
Tell me one private detective joke.
Uh...
- I thought so. - No. Okay, smart guy.
Which one of these goes over better?
"Dad, I'm marrying a lawyer"...
or "Dad, I'm marrying a private dick"?
Okay, no one says "dick" anymore.
But what's the difference between a porcupine and lawyers in a Porsche?
On a porcupine...
the pricks are on the outside.
And a howdy-do to you.
- What's up, V? - VERONICA: Wow, you guys look good.
You've been to Mama Leone's before, right?
It's laminated menus and "I Heart Lobster" bibs.
Hey, I've got something to show you.
Look, this is from the talent show our senior year.
The video yearbook advisor let me see it.
That one is Carrie Bishop. I don't know who this other girl is.
(BOTH SINGING)
It's Susan Knight. Carrie's best friend.
Also dead, strangely enough. Boating accident...
the year I left for Stanford. Why are you showing me this?
You'll see.
Della Pugh, the girl whose file you asked me to dig up...
Come again?
Ignore the dick.
WALLACE: Check this out.
Talent show the year after we graduated.
She does the same duet, solo.
Then when people boo...
I'm gonna burn this place down!
They didn't let her come back to school.
She had to take all her finals as take-home tests.
But her alibi is solid.
I don't know, let's mull this over while we're wearing lobster bibs.
Um, actually...
KEITH: When Number One Daughter was young...
her skills were sharp like blade of sword.
Now, brain dull, like blade of plow.
- Heh. - What the f...?
No.
Yes, ma'am. We are going to the reunion.
No, I'm not going. And you can't make me.
WALLACE: You have to go.
We've arranged for Piz to fly in.
It's our gift to you.
Surprise.
(CHATTERING) (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
WOMAN: Pirates!
ALL: Ahoy!
We're here because...
Because you're a high-powered New York City lawyer now.
You should rub that in these people's faces.
And because Alexis Link said that, uh...
if we were still single in 10 years we'd get creative.
And there she is now.
Hey. As a high school nerd success story...
it is a moral imperative that I take my own victory lap.
Ahoy.
- VERONICA: In a lesser known epic poem, - DANTE'S INFERNO 2: Hell Freezes Over...
10 years after escaping the nine circles, Dante returns.
You know, for old times' sake.
Have a couple shots, catch up with the gang...
Name?
VERONICA: See if Lucifer's still a bitch.
- Veronica Mars. - MADISON: No way.
You look so different. I barely recognize you.
Really? This look of disdain isn't ringing any bells?
Let me try looking like I think you're an asshole.
Wow.
You are still a total loser with no class.
How not shocking.
Class is still clearly a guiding force in your life.
- I'm shocked you even came to this. - VERONICA: Is that so?
I knew you'd be here.
Tell the truth, you've been sitting there since graduation, haven't you?
(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)
Don't worry about her.
(CHATTERING)
They really should have a bar right by the entrance.
You can do this, champ.
Oh, look who it is!
Most Likely to Blog and Class Buzzkill.
Or was it Cutest Smile?
Best Personality. You are just who I was looking for...
Most-Likely-to-Know-Where- I-Can-Find-the-Bar.
Well, look no further, pilgrim.
(DICK MIMICS EXPLOSION)
- Gross. - No.
- What? - No, no, no, I just feel bad for her.
- You know what I mean? - Oh, my God, Veronica Mars.
- Hi, Gia. - So many mixed emotions right now.
I kind of hated you, like, a lot, but I don't anymore.
I'm trying to remember my progress. Blaming you for telling the world...
that my dad was a pedophile is what my therapist calls "misplaced aggression," so...
Basically, we're totally cool. Just so you know. Hi, by the way.
- You look great. - Thank you.
Drop by my place while you're in town. We have to hang.
Wait. Come to my after-party. You have to, I mean it. And you...
Um...
You should come too, friend.
- Wow. That hair. - Ha, ha. Gia, Gia. Stu's gonna get a plane.
Okay, I'm not screwing around. Where's the bar in this joint?
I'll find us a table.
- BARTENDER: Here you go. - VERONICA: Thanks.
Oh-ho! No way. How random is this?
- Corny! - Dude!
- How's it hanging, brah? - Aw.
You know, I'm doing my deal, taking time for what's mine.
I've been making these duct tape wallets.
- Pulling in kasheesh selling them on Etsy. - Wow.
CORNY: Yeah. Um, I make some out of maps, if you're interested.
Um... Totally. Uh...
- You know what, I need to say hi to... - CORNY: Oh, go, go. Peace.
- VERONICA: Is that Weevil Navarro in slacks? - Hey.
You're hugging me.
Please don't make me look bad in front of my wife.
- Your what? - Yeah.
This is my wife, Jade. Heh.
- Hi, I'm Veronica. - Oh.
- Hi. It's so nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too.
- And, uh, this, this is, uh... - Sorry.
This is Valentina.
- Shut up. - She's 3.
I'm attending tea parties at doll stores. This kid rules me.
MADISON: Any Pirates in the house?
ALL: Ahoy!
That's what I'm talking about.
I hear she's the pole cardio instructor to the stars.
So hot wife, cute kid.
This is not the Weevil that I know.
And, uh, I own my own shop now.
And I haven't been on my bike since Valentina was born.
(MADISON SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
MADISON: To remember those of us who are no longer around...
WEEVIL: Well, I'll be damned.
Please turn your attention to the screen...
as we say goodbye to old friends.
Shelly.
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
Felix Toombs.
- Hey, Sean, how you doing, man? - MADISON: Meg Manning.
Some pretty interesting pictures you got there. You think that's funny?
MADISON: Rhonda Landers.
What happened to getting creative with Alexis Link?
Carrie Bishop.
MAN: Murderer!
(MURMURING)
MADISON: Susan Knight.
Okay, now I remember Susan Knight.
Oh, my God.
Logan!
"Serendipity," Carrie's new tattoo...
was the name of the boat they were on the night Carrie's best friend drowned.
And Carrie's new album, Confessional?
"Try drowning all our memories tonight"?
Something happened on that boat.
- Yeah? You sound like Ruby. - Carrie couldn't keep the secret anymore.
She was unraveling, and whoever killed Carrie...
did it to shut her up.
So who else was on the boat that night?
- There was Carrie, Stu Cobbler, Dick. - Dick?
Yeah. Dick, Gia Goodman, Luke Haldeman. That crowd.
You ever talk about what happened that night with Carrie?
Yeah, once.
She curled up in a fetal position, didn't speak the rest of the night.
Biggest Success Story goes to...
Patti Jackson...
for starting her own line of natural hair-care products.
Hey! My people. This must be the good-time table.
- Hey, my brother! What's going on, man? - What's up, man?
- How are you? - So 10-year reunion.
I want some Kylie Minogue, some Pussycat Dolls, maybe some solo Rob Thomas.
I've had a few drinks on the plane.
Shh. Where's Veronica?
The award for Coming the Longest goes to...
Veronica Mars.
(SEXY MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) (CROWD GASPING)
Get that off. Get that off now!
- So, what brought you here tonight? - I was gonna ask you the same.
I was kidnapped. You?
Pictures of Carrie doing lines of coke showed up on Sean Friedrich's Instagram feed today.
I knew he'd be here tonight.
I explained to him that it would be best for him if those came down and no more appeared.
Logan, you are suspected of murder.
- You have to be smart. - Yeah.
Veronica. You need to get back inside now.
Piz is here, and he's wondering where you are.
And that is not the worst of it.
Neptune High. What do you think so far?
It actually does sit on a Hellmouth.
(MEN GRUNTING)
- Piznarski, no. - This is what men do, right?
(MUSIC STOPS)
(GRUNTING)
- What do we do? - Get to an exit.
Welcome to the V.C., bitch!
(FIRE ALARM RINGING) (ALL SHRIEKING AND SHOUTING)
MADISON: Veronica!
You must be so proud.
Just because you were an unpopular bitch...
you had to ruin it for everybody else.
- I'd stop there. - Oh, would you?
What are you gonna do, use your stun gun on me?
Don't you think that's gotten a bit old?
Original enough for you?
This is absurd. The school district is on the hook for the deposit.
How did this happen?
Never mind.
Hey, Mr. C. You miss me yet?
It's been 10 years of peace and quiet, Veronica.
If you like that sort of thing.
Veronica.
It's been...
boring.
(GROANS)
Yeah, buddy.
(PIZ SIGHS)
Wanna hit an after-party?
Oh, but I'm having so much fun here.
- Yeah, I think I'll skedaddle. - That's probably wise.
Hey, thanks for jumping in, Piz.
Oh, sure, sure.
Logan gonna be at this after-party?
Nope.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
'Cause this is a stickup.
It's time to give up I'm takin' over tonight.
So put your hands in the air.
VERONICA: Sure, it looks like I'm having fun.
But even my alkie mom knew how to put on a show to hide her disease.
She could PTA with the best of them, but her mind was never far...
from that bit of liquid courage she kept handy.
I adore these three people, but there's a case to be solved.
(MUSIC) So shut up and dance.
VERONICA: There are people in this room with information I want and don't have.
Dick at 2 o'clock.
Gia and Luke at 6.
Cobb by the buffet.
And until I get it...
they are the proverbial flask in my purse.
I mean, all the fighting and the dancing.
Living in an old Michael Jackson music video, it's exhausting.
Somebody needs a tasty beverage.
- Mm-hm. - They're making drinks with kumquats.
Would you like me to procure one for you?
You would do that for me?
I live to serve.
Farewell, my concubine.
- And I'll take a Bud. Thanks for asking. - And an Old Grand-Dad.
The bourbon. Not some old guy.
Words With Friends?
Some people just call it texting.
I wanna ask you about the night Susan Knight died.
Heh. Of course you do. It's a party.
The memorial video got me thinking. I've never really heard what happened.
(SIGHS)
I have told this story about 10 zillion times, but okay.
We were partying on Carrie's dad's boat.
We all got hammered, because it turns out...
it's pretty boring partying on a boat after about 15 minutes.
Woke up the next morning and everyone is freaking out because they can't find Susan.
Ripped the boat apart looking for her...
but she was gone-zo.
Last time I saw Susan, she was blowing chunks over the side of the boat.
She must've slipped and fell off.
I heard later that she couldn't swim for shit.
What a nightmare.
I can't imagine.
Must have been awful when you figured out she was missing.
I had to go to therapy for post-traumatic stress.
I still can't go on a boat.
Or smell schnapps.
It was awful. It was, uh... We drank a shit-ton of booze...
and we all woke up, we were really hungover, panicked out of our minds.
It was a crazy night.
Ooh, what crazy night are we talking about?
Veronica was just asking about the night that Susan fell overboard.
I hired a mixologist, Veronica. Now is not the time.
And no mention? I mean...
You guys are getting married?
In three months and two days. Son of a congressman.
He's his dad's chief of staff now...
but he's got his eye on the prize.
Sorry to interrupt. Uh...
You're running low on ice. I'll run over to my place and get some.
Can you bring back wine and aspirin too, please?
Yeah.
Hey, I'm really sorry about Carrie, Gia. I know you all were friends.
Not just friends. She was gonna be one of my bridesmaids.
Yeah, Gia was the last person to see her other than, uh...
you know. Ahem.
If she had just been on time for once, she'd still be alive.
- WALLACE: Ha, ha. - And you thought I wasn't listening.
See? I told you she didn't join a cult.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
(MEN SHOUTING AND CHEERING)
MAN 1: Get back in your car.
MAN 2: You're gonna get hurt, old man.
I'm lost. Don't you get that?
The navigation led me out here.
They're gonna murder me, or worse!
- Hey, do you want some help? - Aah!
(TIRES SQUEALING)
(GRUNTING)
(PHONE RINGS)
- Hello? - MAN ON RECORDING: Your cab has arrived.
Your cab has arrived.
- Veronica? - VERONICA: Yeah?
Cab's here. I thought I was taking you to the airport.
PIZ: Cab's for me.
Veronica's sticking around town a little bit longer. Good to see you.
- Stosh? - STOSH: Hey.
I'm onto something, Dad. It's big.
And you were in there? All night?
Did Veronica not show you our fine selection of couches? That baby folds out.
The walls here are thin.
But our tantric lovemaking is remarkable for its stillness and tranquility.
She passed out. Nothing happened.
I'm gonna go get my cab.
The new job just gave me a couple more days...
so I will be back by the time your parents get to the city.
Okay, fair warning...
I've oversold you.
They don't think I could have landed a creature such as the one I've described.
Don't they know their son's a sexual sharknado?
Ha, ha. Uh, hasn't come up yet. I've been waiting for the perfect moment, so...
- Bye. - Bye.
(PIZ CLEARS THROAT)
(CAR STARTS)
Cliff just called from the hospital. Celeste Kane shot Weevil Navarro.
She's claiming self-defense.
- Weevil just regained consciousness. - I'm coming with you.
Celeste Kane's statement says her car broke down...
and she was accosted by the motorcycle gang.
She claims she was terrified.
Then she says Mr. Navarro approached her car...
rapped on the window with a Beretta and said, "Time to party."
That's when she fired.
Please get this case dismissed...
before anybody believes the words "time to party" came out of my mouth.
- Did you have a gun out, Eli? - I haven't touched a gun in years.
Oh, police gave me this.
It's a gun reported stolen from a house in Weevil's neighborhood.
That the police clearly confiscated and planted on him.
Weevil's record has been spotless for five years.
Meanwhile, this is my 11th client in the past six months...
claiming that the sheriff's department planted contraband on them.
You have a serial number on that gun?
So if we're to believe this police report...
Weevil left the reunion, dropped off his foxy wife and his "Most Changed" trophy...
and, still wearing his dress shirt and slacks...
teamed up with the motorcycle gang he left a decade ago...
to harass the richest divorc?e in Southern California?
Well, when you say it like that, I start to see some holes in it.
I'm gonna talk to some of those gang kids. See if any will come forward.
See if there's a Beretta registered to Celeste Kane.
Veronica.
I have this. It's my case.
You already have a job. It's in New York.
You did it, kid. You made it out.
Don't let this town take you down like it does everyone else.
Didn't take you down.
Well, love is blind.
WOMAN OVER PA: Dr. Newton to Physical Therapy.
I could still get you the names of the PCHers.
I have someone in the sheriff's department...
who might help me if he can work up the nerve.
The nerve? The sheriff's department is a joke.
It's been a giant clown car since you left office.
They're dangerous, Veronica.
Cops with swimming pools and sports cars? They've got a good thing going.
- I want you to stay away from them. - Yeah, okay.
- Just... I need one file from them. - Veronica.
And don't worry, I won't even go to get it. I'll have it delivered.
WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Loan, Dr. Harriet Loan.
(LAMB WHISTLING "CAMPTOWN RACES")
Hey, Sacks, do you think I need to set a Google alert for "Sheriff Daniel Lamb?"
I'm afraid I might be missing stuff by just having "Sheriff Dan Lamb."
- Why am I even asking you? - You have a call on Line 1.
Martina Vasquez?
- Channel #9's Martina Vasquez? - Yeah. She's got some questions for you.
(CLEARS THROAT)
This is Sheriff Dan Lamb.
VASQUEZ OVER PHONE: Got a minute, sheriff?
LAMB: Ha, ha. Nothing but time for you, Miss Martina Vasquez.
What can I do for you?
VASQUEZ: You have something I'm dying to get my hands on, sheriff.
Well, vice versa, Miss Vasquez.
(IN SPANISH ACCENT) I'm doing a lengthy piece on Bonnie DeVille.
I'd love whatever you have on the night her best friend drowned.
I understand there was an investigation?
Yeah. We're not really in the habit of just handing out case files.
I'm not in the habit of dating cops, but I make exceptions.
Do you ever make exceptions?
I'll have it scanned for you right now.
Would you say I was a good parent?
Great. Do you have a pen?
Uh...
Indeed, I do.
Detective, there is a woman at your desk.
I told her not to wait there, but she's not taking no for an answer.
Huh.
Excuse me, miss, can I help you?
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Long time, deputy.
I'm sorry, do we know each other?
Leo, stop.
It's Veronica. We used to make out.
Which was a little sketchy...
because you worked at the sheriff's department and I was still in high school.
No, Veronica.
From Neptune.
What can I do for you?
Um...
The Susan Knight drowning about nine years ago.
I was just hoping to ask you a few things about it...
because you questioned Carrie Bishop. Do you remember?
Heh. I'm really sorry. How do we know each other again?
- It was...? - Veronica.
Veronica. I don't mean to be rude...
but the first time you came around asking me for favors, you got all dolled up.
And you brought me a pizza.
- You're a prick. - I'm a prick?
Mm-hm. You're a prick.
I'm a prick, but also I love pizza, and I thought, "What a gesture."
You had that red number on, I liked the red number.
It made me think impure thoughts.
And I feel like this is a step backwards for us.
There it is. By the way...
I didn't know the FBI was looking into the DeVille case.
- I'm not with the FBI. - LEO: Are you sure?
I could've sworn that I heard somewhere that you were with the FBI.
- Another life, maybe. - All right, let me see it.
Not the pizza. I'm gonna get into the pizza in a minute.
This is the whole Susan Knight case file. How'd you get this?
(SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
LEO: Yeah, when I took Carrie's statement that night, she was a complete wreck.
She was talking about how it was their fault.
How they were going to hell, how they were supposed to take care of each other.
And I tried to get more specifics...
but Luke Haldeman Senior's lawyer showed up...
and demanded that he speak to all of them in private.
That's when they all, I don't know, decided to toe the company line.
They were all drinking, they passed out. They woke up, Susan was gone.
Yeah, no body was ever found. Never sat right with me.
But we never had any evidence to the contrary, so...
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Someone on the Serendipity killed Carrie.
- I would bet my life on it. - Okay.
Gia Goodman.
Luke Haldeman.
Stu Cobbler.
Your longtime companion, Dick.
Hey, Iron Mike.
Have you seen the Instagram feed from the reunion? Some hilarious shots from the fight.
Check out your boy, Piz.
Kapow!
Ha, ha! There's another one back here too.
Hey, you didn't tell me you and Piz were a thing.
My love life didn't seem relevant.
Wait, what was that?
Toya LaGrone's hoobity-boobities.
- No, back one. - DICK: Okay.
- What? - DICK: What, did you see a ghost or something?
This is a police photo of the boat...
the morning after Susan Knight disappeared off of it.
Notice anything?
- Uh, the police photo is black-and-white. - The anchor.
(SIGHS)
- Exactly. - DICK: I don't see an anchor.
VERONICA: Not in this one.
Here is where it normally goes.
Okay, so?
So my first guess is that there is no anchor, because it was used to make sure...
that Susan Knight's body sunk to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.
(SCOFFS)
California has the death penalty, Dick.
So act like you give a damn about your friend and tell me what really happened that night.
I already told you, Veronica, okay?
I don't think this has Jack to do with Carrie's murder.
(CELL PHONE BUZZES)
I wish Logan could quit you. I'm your friend. Are you listening to this?
- I need your computer. - Yeah, well, at least you asked nicely.
SEAN ON VIDEO: Hey, you got any more of those cupcakes?
You're still here?
Why? Is your boyfriend showing up? Heh.
She's sitting at her makeup table.
That angle, that's exactly where she kept her tablet docked.
So the feed could be coming from the tablet camera.
People can do that? They can spy on you from your own tablet?
I don't know, but I know someone who would.
Nobody could be spying on you from your normal out-of-the-box tablet computer.
But it is possible.
Someone would have to modify a wireless model, install additional hardware.
It would be complicated.
There were Galaxy tablets in the gift bags at the MTV Music Awards.
Carrie was making fun of James Franco for trying to walk off with six.
Franco. You guys see that Candid Camera video of him trying on skinny jeans?
Shit is hilarious.
Show me.
Well, I believe I have that bookmarked right here.
Sayonara, Mac.
Let's get weird!
(GRUNTING)
VERONICA: There may be six degrees between anyone on the planet and Kevin Bacon...
but if you're under 30 and living in Southern California...
you're never more than two degrees from James Franco.
In this case, Dick to facialist...
facialist to Franco's assistant.
Then something to get that assistant's attention.
FRANCO: All right, let me see if I'm understanding this correctly.
You do not have in your possession pages from Tolkien's original manuscript...
for the Quenta Silmarillion depicting Beren wandering into Doriath...
and falling in love with Luthien, the Elf king's daughter?
- I do not. - What?
- You didn't check this out, Penny? - Yes...
You recently attended the MTV Movie Awards...
and I'm fairly certain that whoever gave out the gift bags at the awards...
gave tablets that were preloaded with spy software.
- Really? - You might have noticed some strange videos...
of you circulating the Internet.
- How strange? Like, naked strange? - PENNY: No.
One of you trying on skinny jeans...
and one of you in your underwear trying to list words...
- that rhyme with orange. - FRANCO: Yeah. It's so hard.
Borange. Corange. Dorange.
Well, that's not that bad.
Penny floats in and out of frame in a few of the videos...
so I was hoping we could use her to smoke out who's ever doing this.
Or I could just play her in drag. Hey, Penny, give me your glasses.
Hey. So you're interested in hidden-camera celebrity footage.
If you've got the cash, I've got some hidden video I know you'll want to see.
Meet me at the Santa Monica Pier in one hour by the dancing gorilla.
Good job, Pen.
(LAUGHING)
Monkey's following you. Ha, ha!
Of course.
Do you work for tips?
Here's a tip. Change professions.
VERONICA: Vincent Van Lowe. Neptune's second-best PI but foremost ass-hat.
- Monkeys. - Psst.
Anyone looking for some quality celebrity video?
Yeah, but it better be weird.
I don't want any more night vision footage of James Franco adjusting his nuts.
We'll go back to my van. Show me what you got.
Let's Go Back to My Van: The Vinnie Van Lowe Story.
VERONICA: Think, Vinnie, 10,000 Tequila sunrises ago.
Oh.
Well, if it isn't Neptune's very own Angela Lansbury.
You've aged well.
I hear you went legit.
As it turns out, I am too legit to quit.
I need everything you got off Bonnie DeVille's tablet.
Oh. I know not of what you speak.
I am just a respectable businessman trying to earn an honest dollar.
Give it to me, Vinnie.
Or I'll tell 50 Cent's security team where they can find the guy...
who posted video of Fiddy baking lemon cake...
while singing "Afternoon Delight."
I can feel you acting like you're not impressed.
You should be happy for me, V-Mars. I found my calling.
Oh, yeah. Nip slips. Boozy bar exits. Bad beach bodies.
Do you have any idea what People will pay...
for a shot of a celebrity looking stupid while eating? A lot.
I do the circuit.
I do the chi-chi stores and I do the French preschools.
If you have more than five IMDb credits...
you can't pick a wedgie in your backyard without me finding out a way to get paid.
Ha, ha. I'm the reason people know Anne Hathaway has a vagina.
Before that, they thought, yeah, maybe, but they didn't know.
(WHISTLES)
Two hundred and fifty-six gigs. Nice.
Anyway, you'll like this. I stuffed 30 tablets into those MTV gift bags.
- You wanna know my return on investment? - Nope. No, I don't.
You're legal now, right?
We should go out sometime.
- Yuck. - All right.
Your loss. Hey, FYI...
uh, Bonnie DeVille? Her video feed ends the night she dies.
It's motion-detected...
so, you know, there's not a lot of motion postmortem.
Good seeing you, Veronica.
This isn't gonna be easy to watch.
It's all the video Vinnie captured off the tablet camera.
- Hey. - You're such a punk-ass bitch.
You want this...
in your face?
- No, I really don't. - Eat up.
Speak, girl. Speak. You can do it. Speak.
(DOG BARKS)
And this is the day she died.
Hey, it's Carrie. We're going out tonight.
VERONICA: Gia said she was at Carrie's house that day.
(CELL PHONE BUZZES)
What is that?
Where are we now?
Recognize this?
She's at the 09er.
And check out the timestamp.
12:32.
That's when I got the text from Carrie saying she needed my help.
Carrie didn't send you that text. Gia did.
Right here. From Carrie's tablet.
It was Gia trying to get you to show up at Carrie's house.
I know what happened.
LAMB: Nice hat. Irony.
- How's that working out for you? - No irony here.
Free hug. Anytime, anywhere.
Pass. Sacks said you had something I'd be interested in.
I'm assuming it's a signed confession.
How was Carrie's time of death determined?
Quickly. Guards at the security gate checked Logan in at 1:15 A.M.
Carrie's alarm went off at 1:21.
They showed up. Found her dead at 1:31.
Time of death sometime between 1:21 and 1:31.
Carrie was dead long before that.
- Gia Goodman was over there earlier. - Guards checked her out at 3 P.M.
Many people, including Free Hugs over here, spoke to Carrie after that.
We have phone records.
Carrie was alive when Gia left, but Gia didn't go alone.
Her son-of-a-congressman fianc? went with her.
Probably in the trunk.
When Gia left, she simply left a door or a window open for Luke.
He waited for his opportunity.
After he did the deed, he grabbed Carrie's tablet...
and he changed the alarm code all Carrie's friends knew.
He shows up at the 09er, establishing a very public alibi.
Carrie's friends knew Logan and Carrie were always fighting about her partying.
Gia sent a text she knew would get Logan to show up.
I suppose they murdered her for kicks.
I know how painfully boring these rich kids' lives are.
They murdered Carrie because they were convinced she was cracking.
Something terrible happened on Carrie's dad's boat nine years ago.
Something worth killing Carrie to keep secret.
Look at these photos.
This one was taken the morning after Susan Knight disappeared.
No anchor. They used it to weigh the body down.
Where'd you get these official police photos?
Maybe she's friends with Martina Vasquez?
I'm gonna enjoy seeing that smirk disappear when that foreman hands down a life sentence.
Hey.
You wanna know a secret?
I don't give a shit.
I don't care if Logan ain't the guy.
America thinks he's guilty, and that's good enough for me.
Now get the hell out of my office.
PIZ: Hey.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
I, uh... I believe the captain told you that the use of cell phones was prohibited.
Heh. I'm not on the plane.
- Yeah, I gathered. - I really wanna be there with you.
There's just so much going on here right now.
I just... I couldn't leave.
Sure you could.
Okay.
Could you maybe try and understand why I chose not to?
I completely understand.
That's why I think it's time for us to just...
Just walk away.
Wait, no, that's not what this is.
I mean, that's not what I want.
Veronica, I'm standing outside of a hotel with my parents...
who flew to New York mostly to meet you.
So that loyalty, or friendship...
or whatever it is that made you have to stay in Neptune...
I wish that same feeling made you get on the plane today.
I gotta go let my mom off the hook, okay?
She's concerned that her blowout's gonna flatten before you get here.
Piz, I'm...
- I'm really sor... - Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Goodbye, Veronica.
(SIGHS)
Logan's coming over to talk about the case.
Please be nice.
What? I'm over 21.
Truman-Mann left a message.
Apparently, they left several on your cell but never heard back.
Okay. I'll give them a call. Thanks.
No need. They said they're moving on without you.
They needed someone a little more "motivated," I think it was. Or "dedicated."
I saved the message.
The gist was they wanted someone who cared enough to return a call.
You worked so hard for so long...
and just like that...
you're throwing it away?
For what?
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
This is Keith.
Just give me two minutes. Okay?
All right. Bye.
(SIGHS)
I'm gonna... I'll be right back.
(SIGHS)
Deputy.
I guess I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
You know, I saw this thing on, uh, Youtube a few weeks ago, Keith. It's a funny video.
Two Nazi officers, they're looking at the skulls on their insignias.
The piles of dead bodies.
And they have this moment of clarity.
"Wait a minute.
We're the bad guys."
If you were a bad guy, Jerry, you wouldn't be here now.
Lamb, he's just a puppet.
Everyone is on the take.
That gun they planted on the Navarro kid...
I checked that into evidence myself.
And that's just the tip of iceberg.
And you'll testify to that fact?
(DOOR OPENS NEARBY)
We gotta move.
LOGAN: Mr. Mars.
Yeah, I need an ambulance.
Oh, my God.
No.
Mr. Mars, come on.
Come on, come on.
(SHRIEKS)
Dad! Dad!
- What happened? - Is he hurt?
VERONICA: No. Open your eyes!
Open your eyes, Dad. Wake up. It's Veronica.
Call for an ambulance, now!
Miss Mars.
(DOCTOR SIGHS)
Your father has some pretty serious injuries.
He has fractures of the ribs, skull and pelvis.
We're gonna have to keep him in the ICU.
- When can I see him? - It'll probably be a couple of days.
And Sacks?
The other man in the car?
I'm afraid he was DOA.
Was he a friend of yours?
Wait.
Don't go.
Okay.
The only way I'm not gonna spend the day obsessing about my dad...
is by nailing Gia and Luke to the wall.
Let's go make them sweat.
- DELIVERYMAN: Gia Goodman? - Oh.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
- MAN OVER RADIO: The 21st... - WOMAN OVER RADIO: Back tonight...
GIA OVER RADIO: Thanks, Grandma.
(PHONE DIALING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING OVER RADIO)
Hi, this is Gia.
CARRIE ON RECORDING: Hey, it's Carrie.
You're such a punk-ass bitch.
Speak, girl. Speak.
(BREATHING RAPIDLY)
GIA: Hey. Something's happening. You need to get over here right away.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
- Hey. - VERONICA: I've made the call to Gia.
She immediately freaked out and called her partner in crime.
- Have you seen Luke pick up? - I can't actually see Luke right now.
Apparently, he had to make a pit stop for some hot man-on-man action.
What are you talking about?
Luke is inside a West Hollywood bathhouse.
What's he doing at...? Oh.
(KNOCK ON DOOR THEN DOORBELL RINGS OVER PHONE)
Hold on. Someone's at her door.
So I just got this call from this random number and...
It's Cobb.
- GIA: It was Carrie's voice and she seemed... - She called Cobb for help.
Why? Does she need someone to empty her cat box?
- Shh, shh. - COBB: Someone is just messing with you.
I mean, it's probably that nosy bitch, Veronica Mars.
Tsk. It's called "curiosity."
(GIA SIGHS)
COBB: You need to relax, Gia. Just relax.
No freaking way.
Update, please.
Yeah, Gia and Cobb are totally about to do it.
Are you serious?
Gia seduced her lapdog into killing Carrie.
- Can you see them? - No, thank God.
(GIA & COBB MOANING OVER RADIO)
Ugh.
(STATIC CRACKLING ON RADIO)
- Shit. - What's going on?
VERONICA: Dad had all the good listening devices locked up.
I had to use one of the old bugs that uses FM signals.
Bandwidth at the end of the dial no one uses, 88.6.
As in "88.6 Rock Hard Rock?"
Tell me you're joking.
- Neptune's new classic rock station. - All right. Probably okay.
The bug only transmits a hundred yards or so. I should be able to get away with it.
Was Carrie's tablet one of the big ones or the little ones?
No, it was a little white one.
There is one matching that description on Gia's table.
- She'd have to be stupid to keep it there. - I sat behind her in Algebra.
Nothing would shock me.
Well, Carrie's was inscribed. It was like:
"Rock you very much from the MTV Music Awards," something like that.
- Tsk. I need to get a closer look. - Veronica.
I'm not gonna break in. I'm just gonna drop by for a hang.
She could be a murderer.
Child, please. It's Gia Goodman.
The day I can't handle Gia Goodman...
VERONICA: The four minutes of sex I could hear just fine.
The Mike couldn't pick up the last 20 minutes of pillow talk...
or whatever has gone on in that bedroom.
(AMBIENT-DUB MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS NEARBY)
(CAT MEOWS)
VERONICA: Hi, kitty.
Veronica. Hi.
That look is making me think you didn't mean
it when you said "come by and hang." Heh.
No, I meant it. Come on in. Come in.
VERONICA: Oh, wow.
Do you like your little tablet?
I mean, I have the big one.
But this is so cute, isn't it?
Well, cute only gets you so far in life.
Am I right?
All right!
I'm sorry. What?
My regularly scheduled programming was preempted...
by the sound of you getting your rocks off, hoss.
You really wanted that poor girl to say your name.
What are you talking about?
- MAN OVER RADIO: Shot clock... - WOMAN OVER RADIO: Manager's a crazy...
VERONICA OVER RADIO: "Rock you very much." Where'd you get this?
GIA OVER RADIO: Carrie was always giving away her swag.
- So, what are you really doing here? - VERONICA: What do you mean?
GIA: Well, I'm not stupid. I know you didn't come by to hang out. So come on.
What's eating Veronica Mars?
Oh, yeah.
That.
(SIGHS)
I'm pretty sure you murdered Carrie Bishop...
because she was on the verge of telling the truth about what happened...
with Susan Knight nine years ago.
(LAUGHS)
You are an insane person.
I was in the 09er.
Everyone saw me.
You're right. I misspoke.
You didn't kill her.
You used your lady parts to get Stu Cobbler to do it for you.
Heh. Don't be gross.
I just watched you from across the street, Gia.
I have pictures.
If I had any Facebook friends, they'd be enjoying them already.
I'd say wait till your fianc? finds out...
but I'm gonna go ahead and guess he's okay with it.
You are protecting his bright future, right?
I mean, there are beards and then there are beards that go the extra mile.
I was at the 09er. There are witnesses. Everybody saw me.
Gia, keep up.
We're past that now.
I believe you.
I even have proof you were there.
Timestamped video.
And right about now...
it's dawning on you where this video came from.
The camera on Carrie's tablet.
Cobb took the tablet from Carrie's house after he killed her.
Here you are typing out the text that'll get Logan over to Carrie's.
I think the sheriff is gonna be very interested in this video.
Do you even remember Cobb from high school?
Just this total trailer-park weirdo.
Creepy guy who sat behind me in Civics reading Guns & Camouflage or whatever...
eye-screwing me and smelling like old sponge.
He had the good drugs, though.
That night that we went out on Carrie's boat...
we tried to hit him up for product...
but he insisted on us taking him with.
We got so shit-faced it didn't really matter.
But then Susan, as usual...
bottoms out.
She starts bawling about...
the baby that she gave up for adoption.
She disappears below deck.
Carrie found her later and she was barely breathing.
But Cobb says that she'd sleep it off.
Because he'd seen it a hundred times before.
- And you believed him. - We were out of our skulls.
We were picturing jail time.
Lost futures. Lost fortunes.
And then Carrie went down to check on Susan later.
She was dead.
Just full-on dead.
(SIGHS)
It was Cobb's idea...
to weigh her down with an anchor.
Then we're all sobbing and we're trying to lift her body over the side.
Dick was sobbing.
Dick passed out before any of this even happened.
He never knew the truth. He sells the lie better than any of us.
But none of us even noticed...
that Cobb wasn't helping us push Susan's body overboard.
Later, after all the police-grilling and media stuff...
Carrie, Luke and I get e-mailed...
a camera-phone photo...
of us dumping Susan's body.
And he's owned us ever since.
We bankroll him.
We pal around with him.
You sleep with him.
Yeah, lucky me. I'm the one he loves.
He flashes the photo any time he thinks one of us needs a reminder.
Carrie needed a lot of reminders.
He rented the apartment across the street...
so that he can see me whenever he wants to.
I'm not even allowed to have curtains.
He's probably watching us right now.
Try to act ca...
(GUNSHOT) (GIA & VERONICA GASP)
(GUNSHOT)
(GIA GROANING)
Hang in there, Gia.
Hi. A cop has been shot.
The 400 block of Exposition Boulevard.
Help is coming, Gia.
It's okay. Help is coming.
Help.
(DOOR OPENS DOWNSTAIRS)
Gia could've really used some curtains in here.
(LOU RAWLS' "YOU'LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER LOVE LIKE MINE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
I hope you don't mind a little mood music.
You'll never find.
As long as you live.
Someone who loves you.
Tender like I do.
You'll never find.
No matter where you search.
Someone who cares about you.
The way I do.
Whoa, I'm not bragging on myself, baby.
But I'm the one who loves you.
And there's no one else.
No one else.
You'll never find.
It'll take the end of all time
(CABINET DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES)
Someone to understand you.
Like I do
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(YELLS)
(PEPPER SPRAY HISSING)
But I know somehow, someday, some way.
You are.
- Baby. - You're gonna miss my lovin'.
When it's cold outside
(GRUMBLES)
(CAT MEOWS)
You're gonna miss my lovin'.
Wait for me, Veronica!
Yes, you will, baby
(GLASS SHATTERS)
It's not a race.
We all know how this ends.
Ah.
Ooh, you killed the lights.
How wildly impressive.
(RUSTLING NEARBY)
Eenie...
meenie...
miney...
eat me.
(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)
(RUSTLING)
Oh.
(GRUNTS)
MAN 1 ON TV: Shocking photo surfaces in the Bonnie De Ville murder case.
Logan Echolls is a free man. He's exonerated.
And instead the local sheriff has arrested Stu Cobbler and charged him with two murders:
Bonnie DeVille and socialite Gia Goodman.
(REPORTERS CHATTERING ON TV)
How did you get it so wrong? Did you ignore evidence?
Did Gia Goodman have to die?
MAN 1: If you think the sheriff is squirming here...
check out the TMZ Live exclusive video we got...
from the private investigator working for Logan Echolls.
I don't care if Logan ain't the guy.
America thinks he's guilty, and that's good enough for me.
MAN 1: I'm betting I know exactly what the people of Neptune want now.
- MAN 2 ON TV: I know too. A new sheriff. - MAN 1: A new sheriff. Yeah, exactly.
(CLICKS)
No, it's too early.
You'd be surprised how strongly the armed services feels about punctuality.
You want me to get busted for going AWOL?
What I want...
is for you to stand there...
in that effity white uniform...
with your Harvard mouth and show me some effing courtesy.
Well, I appreciate you keeping it PG-13 for me.
I'm delicate.
I got you off murder charges.
- I can beat an AWOL rap. - Listen, it's 180 days, Veronica.
What's 180 days to us?
Our story is epic.
Spanning years, continents.
Lives ruined, bloodshed.
Yeah.
Come back to me.
Always.
(CHUCKLES)
VERONICA: Two solid weeks of bliss, and now it's back to the real world.
He's a great kid. A shoot-first point guard.
- VERONICA: So, what now? - But sometimes it kills us in the transitions...
VERONICA: I had a ringside seat to my mom's recovery attempts.
I know all about accepting the things I can't change.
WALLACE: Veronica!
Your point guard shoots too much. I'm with you, Fennel. Bench him.
VERONICA: I'm supposed to find the courage to change the things I can.
Even if it means disappointing the one man I can't bear to disappoint.
KEITH: Gin.
Who's your daddy?
(VERONICA SIGHS)
Well, my 2000-point lead shrinks by 40.
Look at you.
Not even knowing you're being hustled. You're the patsy.
I got the hook in now.
Logan return to duty today?
Yep.
- I'm sorry, honey. - Yeah.
They say I'm ahead of schedule here.
As much as I'm enjoying this daddy-daughter time...
maybe it's time to start thinking about heading back to New York?
You've got a life there.
Yeah.
About New York...
VERONICA: Let's be honest here.
If I were wise enough to know the difference between what I can and can't change...
would I even be who I am?
Would this be what I'm doing?
Last thing, that gun they planted on you?
A stoolie claims you bought it from him.
He clearly fears the sheriff more than he fears you.
Yeah. Well, we'll see what we can do about that.
Thanks, V.
- How's it coming on the sheriff's password? - JohnnyUtah69.
(SNICKERS)
Done. I just sent you his tax returns.
Thank you.
VERONICA: Dad always said this town could wreck a person.
It's what happens when you're playing a rigged game.
I convinced myself winning meant getting out.
But in what world do you get to leave the ring and declare victory?
This is where I belong.
In the fight.
It's who I am.
I've rolled around in the mud for so long.
Wash me clean and I don't recognize myself.
So how about I just accept the mud...
and the tendency I have to find myself rolling in it?
My name is Veronica...
and I'm an addict.
Hello, Veronica.
Dorange.
Yor-Eorange.
Forange.
Gorange.
Horange.
(SIGHS)
(PHONE LINE RINGING)
LOGAN ON MACHINE: This is Logan reminding you...
if you're offered a seat on a rocket ship...
don't ask which seat, just get on. Sheryl Sandberg said that.
So don't leave a message, go get on that rocket ship.
Or leave a message, your call. Your decision will tell me a lot about you.