Good!
Okay. Beauty!
Ease up, Walt.
Fuck! Shit!
Fucking mother.
Get the rope! Up there!
- How was the handball game today? - We won.
You always win, man. Shit! I missed it again.
- You gotta get that pizza delivered. - I gotta get to that game.
- Hey, Walt. How you doing? - Hi, John.
- Hey Walt - Yeah.
- Can I count on you for Thursday? What do you think? - Yeah.
This time motherfucker, you will die! Raymond!
Good.
I gotta go.
See you later.
Hey, Doll. I Love your hair.
We're here!
- Hey. What you got there? - Love letters?
Looks more like a "Dear John" letter to me
- Hey, everybody needs love, honey. - All I need is a John!
They are not girls. They are not boys.
They can't help it. They was born like that.
Something in the throat.
Um hm...
- Hey, Walt. - Hey, Pogo. How you doing?
- Not good. - What happened?
- Remember Ashley, my girlfriend? - Yeah.
She fucking left me, bro.
- What do you want? - She looked like she was 14.
Bring it up higher.
Hey! Hey! Shut the fucking window or shut the fuck up!
- You shut your fucking window! - Fucking faggots!
The gay community thanks you for your support, fucker!
Fuck you and the gay community!
Fuck you and your Let's get married, have kids and beat up the fucking dog community! Fucker!
Fucking demented fucking fruitcakes.
Ah, shit! He's not in there, the little fuck. Where the fuck is this motherfucker?
I told Mr. Z not to hire that fuck.
I don't trust him! I never did!
You're looking sharp, Walt.
Save it for your paying customers, babe.
- Hi. - Hi, listen mama.
- Okay. - Thanks mama.
Hi, sweetheart. I was in bed last night and I saw a rat run across my rug.
No, I'm sure you're mistaken.
You 're not listening to me.
I was in bed last night. I saw a rat run across the rug.
Okay?
Rat? We have no rats here.
Could you send Jaime, to check my apartment tomorrow, please?
I'm late for work.
Come on, Amber. Come here. Hurry up!
Thanks, Cristal.
Get in here, will ya. I can't!
We're safe.
How you doing tonight? Hi.
Hey, Walt. How ya doing? Remember Sally?
- Sally. - Hi, Walt.
Hey, baby. What are you doing?
Comfy? Are you two comfy? Well, welcome everybody.
You all look fabulous. You look fucking great. Yeah.
Except for this table over here.
Alright. Who's from Brooklyn here? Any guys from Brooklyn?
Oh, hey, sweetie. You guys like guy... girls with big fat asses?
Big old tits, right? Why don't you come up here?
Now. Just stand right there Just don't come any closer.
Guys like you beat my ass once I leave the club. You know what I'm saying?
You love me when I'm here, and the minute I leave you beat the shit out of me.
All right.
Get your fucking hand off my shoulder.
- I was trying to get your ass. - Oh, my God. Are you gay?
A little bit.
Only a little bit?
And I'm a little bit of a girl, too, sweet heart.
You are a little bit, I'm all woman. All right. I want you to bend over now.
I want you to kiss my ass.
Kiss my ass. Think of me as a present and it's Christmas.
Alright. Alright.
Have a seat. Look at you. Jesus Christ!
All right, honies, I'm gonna invite my first pretty little number on the stage.
And she's wonderful. Amazing Grace, thank you.
(song: "Half-Breed")
My father married a pure Cherokee
My mother's people were ashamed of me
The Indians said that I was white by law
The white man always called me "Indian squaw"
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed...
How come you never ask me to dance, huh, Walt? Huh.
How come always Karen?
Cos Karen's a lady and you ain't. You're a whore.
How many times I tell you? I don't go with whores. You know...
- I'm not a whore, Walt. - You're not? Okay.
I'm ready.
Marmalade!
I hate to ask you, but I'm... running kind of short on my rent again.
That enough?
Thank you, baby.
- What a man. - What a woman.
See you next week.
I'll count the days.
That's a good boy, Leonard.
Escucha bien.
Just gimme my money.
Why you fucking shoot me? Fuck you!
Whose that?
Relax! Relax!
-You want another one? -Let me get the fucking money.
You shot her! You motherfucker! Why'd you shoot her?
You fucking killed her, man!
Sir, can you hear me?
He's coming round.
Sir, have you been hit?
Sir, were you hit?
Sir, can you hear me?
Mr. Koontz. Are you awake?
I'm Dr Nirmala.
Can you hear me? Do you understand me?
You've had a stroke. There is some paralysis on your right side.
Mr. Koontz I’m Detective Noonan.
In the early morning hours of October 3rd, you heard gunshots.
You took your service revolver and attempted to confront the perpetrators before your heart attack?
- Actually, a stroke. - Right. Sorry.
Did you get a look at the killers? Could you identify them?
You 're here for Amber Garcia Sanchez?
I'm here to identify the body.
Uh huh. And your relationship to the deceased?
Just a friend.
Son of a bitch. Stupid fuck! Where's the money?
What?
Hey! We been every square inch. The roof, basement, now this shit house.
Philistines!
I'd like to know who the fucking bitch is across the fucking hall.
Okay, okay.
Miss Cristal? Are you in there?
Open the door, bitch!
Open the goddamn door, bitch!
All set, Mr. Koontz? I've arranged for one of our volunteers to drive you home.
I'm going home alone.
By yourself?
Alone?
- But why? - I’m okay.
To see if I can.
Hey, Pop. Jesus Christ! Come here. Check this out.
Walt, you need a little help?
Walt! Walt!
- You need a little help, Walt? - No, I'm okay.
I can't believe what happened to him.
Waldo Koontz why you walking so funny?
I... I had a stroke.
Oh? You think that's bad?
I didn't sleep a wink last night.
Oh, God.
- Welcome home, motherfucker. - Oh, my God!
What the fuck did you do to my place? You Neanderthals!
I'll fuck you up if we don't get our money.
What money?
The money Amber gave you to fucking hide. Mother fucker.
Honey, if I had any money.
I'd move to a better neighborhood where I wouldn't have to deal with scum like you.
Now see, bitch!
You homicidal maniacs are so sensitive.
- What the fuck is this? - No! Don't! Don't!
- Don't! - What is it?
- What the fuck is this shit? - It's Amber's ashes.
Aw, shit! Aw, shit!
Get the fuck outta here! Get the fuck outta here!
- We'll be watching you, faggot. - Oh, watch my ass! Watch my ass!
Boom, boom.
Ashley.
Why did you trash me?
Like some used-up soda can.
Ashley.
Why did you trash me?
I was supposed to be your man.
Ashley.
You 're a fucking bitch.
You left me for a guy named Lance.
Ashley.
You 're really stupid.
Cos I was saving up to take you to France.
Yeah, I was gonna take you to France.
- Mr. Koontz? - It's Dr. Nirmala.
Are you in there?
Mr. Wilcox at the front desk said you were in.
- Hello, Mr. Koontz. - Hello
I've been, so concerned, Mr. Koontz.
You didn't return to the hospital for your physical therapy.
And you don't answer your telephone.
And your friends say that you never visit them
and you don't allow them to visit you.
And... And Mr. Pim, the grocer he says that you shop once a week
and not till late at night.
Now, I can understand.
You don't want your friends to see you perhaps not as you once were.
But if you came in for your therapy you would improve.
and so would your spirits.
I can arrange to have a physical therapist come here
3 times a week. Hm?
Would you like that?
Huh.
Of course, it's going to be more expensive than at the hospital.
What else... What else do I have to spend my... my money on?
Ah, son of a bitch! It stinks!
Let's keep our voices down. Let's just keep our voices down.
Shut the fuck up!
- Crazy shit man. - What the fuck are we talking about, keeping shit down?
Where's the fucking bitch at?
That skanky whore has my money.
Oh, hi!
Well... Uh, how are you?
No, I mean, I heard you got hurt trying to save Amber.
You know, and she was a friend of mine, so I...
I really...
Well, I wanna thank you and I'm sorry about...
Oh, here. Let me help you, sweetheart.
Get away.
Are you okay? Give me your hand?
Oh, don't be like that... for God's sake.
Are you worried I might be catchy?
Or you might suffer from a severe jewelry rash?
Go fuck yourself.
I've had worse... big boy.
Look at her.
- Happy Halloween. - You devil.
Are you registered to vote? Republican?
That is just teetering on interesting.
Look, it's very simple. You sign up for the Flawless contest.
If we don't receive your entrance fee within 2 weeks, you're eighty sixed.
You know what? You 're hideous!
- Hi, ladies! - Happy Halloween.
Hi, sweetheart.
Is it just me, or are drag queens getting more demented every year?
It's just you, honey. It's you, hon. That's for sure.
Honey, how come... the goddamn entrance fee went up?
- Cost of living, sweetie. - A 100 fucking dollars!
- My God. Whose living is that? - Not that it matters.
I think we all know who's going to win.
My little Hispanic hotcake.
You truly are flawless, Cha-Cha.
She ain't gonna win this year. No fucking way! You prehistoric fucking bitch!
It's America's least wanted.
Yeah. I heard your tired pussy was on sale at the International House of Cunts!
- Yeah, with your mama, bitch! - Take it to the street, freaks!
I need some butch faggots over here.
I need some dykes!
Fuck up!
Get off of me. Fuck!
Get the fuck outta here! Shit! That's right! You got thrown out again.
Oh, hi. Is Walt...
- Could I... - Yeah, come on.
Thanks.
Hey, buddy. I been trying to see you.
You know how many times I knocked on your door or rang your phone?
I've been really worried. I'm his physical therapist.
- LeShaun Williams. - Tommy Walsh. I’m on my lunch hour.
- I thought I'd stop by. - Sure.
So...
Walt, how you doing?
Hey...
- What's your name? - LeShaun.
Listen, you take good care of my buddy here, huh? He's a real hero, you know.
He saved me, the other guard, Joe and 14 hostages in 1988.
Tom... Wait, wait.
That’s how he won early retirement. Look here. A letter from Mayor Koch.
- Wow. - There's a bravery medal.
- Man. - Tommy, please.
Look at this.
This is Walt, right here in the middle.
That's Joe. That's me.
I'm pistol whipped down on the floor. Joe's shitting in his pants.
And Walt, pistol whipped also bleeding like a mother.
He pretends like he's knocked out.
All of a sudden, blam blam!
He shoots. Two thieving motherfuckers go down.
You want us to tell 'em to shut up?
- Hey, shut the fuck up! - Oh, girls. Look, a man in uniform!
- Officer, help me! - Holy shit!
Break. Break.
Jesus Christ!
- You make me feel. - *You make me feel.
Fucking freak show!
Well... Maybe I should go.
- Walt. You uh... - Here we go. That's right.
- You need anything? - I'm okay.
I guess you heard that Amber that little hooker upstairs
and her sleaze boyfriend stole off Mr. Z.
So it was his guys and him that you were shooting at.
They still can't find the money. And you know the cops can't do anything.
Mr. Z's got 'em in his pocket. Anyways.
Hey, do me a favor, will you?
Pick up the goddamn phone when I call you.
- And take good care of him. - Yeah.
- What was your name again? - LeShaun.
- Right. Right. - Yeah. All right.
I'll see you.
Take it easy, Walt.
You know, I had some real success with... stroke patients improving speech.
- You know how? - Uh-uh.
Don't laugh.
Singing lessons. It relaxes you. A lot of people like singing.
I got a card in my bag for a lady uptown.
Mildred something. She's good.
You gotta start getting out soon, anyway. What could you lose?
You start talking better and visit with your friends on the phone.
You could even have phone sex.
Call us. Call us now. Hot, wild girls waiting by the phone.
We're hot and wild and willing.
The girl of your dreams is waiting by the phone.
She'll make your fantasies come true.
Just call.
Pick up the phone.
Reach out to have this...
Hey buddy, you okay? I didn't hit you, did I?
Hey. He slipped on the ice. That's what happened.
Mr. Koontz, please, let me help you.
You okay? Yeah?
Buddy, is this yours?
Hey, you dropped something.
I'll go get the door. I'll go get the door.
Hey. You want this? Is this your card? I think it is.
Hello honey, let me guess. A Jehovah's Witness?
I... I was wondering... if I could... pay you...
pay you for... singing lessons.
I'm sorry. I'd rather suck Hitler's dead dick.
I'm sure you did!
Fucking faggot.
Wait a minute. Wait. Wait.
Fuck...
Honey, could you pay cash? Cash?
I don't want your pity.
I don't want your fucking pity either all right? I need the money.
I'll call you from the window tomorrow when I'm ready.
We're wasting our time out here today.
Fucking bitch! Hey, bitch!
Bitch! Where the fuck is Cristal? Where the fuck is Cristal?
- I see. I see her! Right there! - Shit!
Yeah. Yeah.
Wait a minute, motherfucker!
Fucking bitch.
- No! My leg, it's hurt bad. - Where the fuck is that bitch?
What do you want from me?
- What do you want? - Shut up!
- Mr. Z's fucking money. - No, I swear I know nothing!
I don't know nothing!
Then why the fuck you disappear? And make like Carl Lewis.
'Cos I heard you was looking for me and I've seen what you've done to Amber and Raymond.
Yes. And the same thing happens to you if Mr. Z don't get his fucking money!
Do I look like I got any money? You think I'd be working 10th?
- If you're lying, you fuckbag... - Stop! I'm not!
- Boom! Boom! - No, no!
No, stop it...
What!? Stop it!
Can you give me some money? Fuck!
Give me some money, you fucking dicks!
Welcome to fairyland.
We hope you enjoy the ride.
Do not stand up in the cars and please...
... leave your attitude outside, all right?
Honey, that was a joke. Okay?
I hate people who think they're funny.
Yeah? Bet you hate a lot of things.
All right.
Well, I... I thought we'd start with the scales.
Alright. Do you know the scales?
Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do...
All right? Grumpy, Sneezy and Horny.
Ha-ha-ha...
All right. Shall we begin?
Do...
One more time.
- Do... - Do...
Let's move on.
- Re... - Re...
Re... Oh honey, I can't hear you.
I am not Jodie Foster and this is not "Silence of the Lambs". Alright.
Now, your voice is a muscle, all right?
And you can exercise it, okay.
What? You can exercise it. Don't be afraid. All right.
- Re... - Re...
Re... Okay, that's better. All right, let's move on.
Me...
- ... Me... - Me..
You see that. That's better. That was a lot better.
Okay, good. Going for Fa.
Fa...
Fa, come on. You can do it.
Fa...
Sing out, Louise!
- Fa... - No, no. This is bullshit.
Here's the... Here, I'll pay you. Here's the... Here's the...
- Hey, this was your idea. - Bad idea.
I can't do it. Bullshit.
Can't do it. Can't do this.
Honey, "can't" lives on "won't" street. All right.
Why don't you try fucking faggot?
You know, cos you were always pretty good at shouting that across the alley.
Fucking faggot.
Prick.
- Cocksucker. - Asshole.
- Girlie man. - Yeah, Republican.
Queer!
Fascist!
Freak!
Cheerleader fucker!
Fucking fruitcake.
Nazi!
- What's with the fucking door? - I'll fucking help you out of the door.
- Fucking faggot! - There you go.
There, it's open. There you go.
If you came here with a bellyful of self pity.
- You came to the wrong fucking place. - Fucking face.
I left sensitivity back in the sand pile.
All right, girl.
Michelle Pfeiffer goes after a dangerous mind.
I know you're in there.
You paid for the lesson. You might as well get it.
Come on. Open the door.
Walt, I want you, baby!
Oh, Walt, please be my man! Oh, please put it inside of me!
Break it off in me, daddy. Break it off in me.
- What the fuck's the matter with you? - Okay, okay.
- What the fuck you doing? - All right, we had a few words.
None that we haven't heard or used before. Alright.
What. So is that it? You just quit?
- Fuck you! - Fuck you, too.
Fuck you!
- Having no trouble with the F sound? - Get out!
- Fine, fine.
- I told your doctor. - Fucking faggot.
I told... I told your doctor it will never work.
- You. You talked to Dr... Dr. Nirmala? - Yeah.
- Nirmala? - Yeah.
And she's a very fine woman.
She helped a friend of mine who died of AlDS. Miss Burma.
And also, if I was gonna teach you.
I wanted to make sure I was doing it right. You know.
Like Anne Bancroft, you know. The Miracle Worker.
I don't need no fag with a heart of gold.
Honey, you see a crown of thorns on my head?
Only rhinestones, sweetheart. I am no Brother Teresa.
I told you, I need the money. I got big plans.
Oh!
Got a letter from Ed Koch.
Ah, when New York was fun.
Oh! You're a bowler.
That's so cute.
Third place. Pretty good.
Oh, I always heard you were some kind of hero. You know.
Yeah. Look where it got me.
Oh, hey. You know?
You got a rough break. Who didn't?
Look, I see you sitting there all alone you know, all the time. Yeah.
Hiding from life, you know.
Life. Life is shit.
Aren't you just a little ray of sunshine.
Oh, please allow me to leave you sitting all alone on your pity pot, cos I've been there before, sweetheart.
Poor me, poor me pour me another, all right?
Okay.
Oh, honey, are you coming upstairs?
You know, to face the music like the man you're supposed to be?
Or should I just get Dr Kevorkian's fucking phone number for you?
Do.
Re.
Me.
Your favorite note.
Fa.
So.
La.
Ti
Do.
Oh, that was so adorable.
All right, play that funky music, white boy. Alright.
Okay. I think you're doing pretty good with the scales. Alright.
We need to start working on a song, okay?
All right.
Oh, listen. Everything's Coming Up Roses? Alright.
Peppy, positive, Sondheim.
No? Okay, okay. Moving right along.
Probably you 're into Sinatra.
Although I don't do Sinatra. Although I'm sure I'm the only girl who hasn't. You know.
I... I like the tango.
So... you're a tango dancer?
- Are you? - Was. Was.
Yeah.
You will be again. I know it.
I know a song you'd probably love. All right, hold on.
It's right here in the basket. Okay.
That's your favorite color.
Oh dear.
- Wow. - Uu...
- Sorry, girl. - Uu... We didn't know you was entertaining.
We're going downstairs for some pizza.
Yeah. We were gonna go watch Carmine twirl that pizza dough with his big muscles of his.
You wanna come with us?
Ladies um...
This is Walt from downstairs. All right. He's taking singing lessons. All right.
Well, Mary, I just wanna find out about my blue dress.
Alright.
- I'm sorry. This will only take 1 minute. - Try this on.
You better watch out for Rusty, honey. She likes you "straight" guys.
Heh you! Miss shh... shh... shh...
Miss Thing, shove a land mine in that big hole you call a mouth. Alright.
How you doing, baby? My name is Cha Cha de los Santos Pérez Cueva.
Oh my god.
You can just call me Cha-Cha.
Oh, I'm sorry. You have a "My Left Foot thing" going on, don't you?
All right, out, out, out! Out!
- Girl. God, I think we got the message! Come on! - Out.
Yoo-hoo, Miss Taco Bell. Vámonos. Vámonos. (Let's go. Let's go)
- Bye, Mr. "My Left Foot." - Vámonos. Vámonos. (Let's go. Let's go)
- All right, I'll take a bite off. Alright. - Chill.
Miss you already!
Sorry about that. They are so much work.
All right. Oh, Is this the real you or what?
Give me some men who are stout hearted men
Who will fight for the right they adore
Ooh, macho man!
The macho man! I kill bear! Shit in woods!
Am I right? You'll love it, honey.
All right. Now, we can start with. "Give me some men who are stout men."
You know. From the top of that song I thought would be really good.
How long you been... doing this?
Singing?
No, no. This drag queen type of thing.
Well, I've been in musicals at school, ever since I was a little kid.
You know, I was Prince Chulalongkorn in ''The King And I.
But I was miscast, um...
Then I was the lion in 'The Wizard of Oz'.
And I was definitely miscast but I was the only one uh...
You know, fat enough to fit into the costume. Whatever.
And then in ''The Snow Queen I was again totally miscast as the king.
We were all on stage
and they had made these dry ice kettles so smoke could come out of 'em.
And one night, all of a sudden one dry ice kettle exploded
And dry ice flew everywhere. Alright.
Well, pretty little Miss 'No Talent' who was playing the snow queen, um...
You know. Dashed off the stage screaming and pulling her hair out.
Well, the play must go on, I believe.
And she had dropped her crown.
Well, honey, I just picked up that crown
put it on my head
And I was the greatest goddamn snow queen
In the history of PS 11 Paramus, New Jersey.
And uh... I have been wearing dresses ever since.
But I don't like the term "drag queen", you know?
Because most drag queens just wanna parade around looking flawless. You know.
And if they sing, they lip synch to records and um...
I'm a singer um...
and I'm a female impressionist.
I'm an artist, you know?
Who do you think you're bull... bullshitting?
You're... a fucking drag queen!
Let me um... savor those lovely words for a moment, all right?
What are you, channeling Jesse Helms?
Don't be so... so sensitive.
If... you can take a dick. You can take an insult.
Right, Walt.
I'm not so... stupid as you think.
Honey, you could never be as stupid as I think you are, all right?
- Yes? - I owe you two weeks, right?
Yes.
And there's a week in advance.
I'm getting a motorcycle.
I want to know if I could park it in the back so it won't get ripped off.
A motorcycle.
It's $50 additional every week for parking.
- $50? - Uh huh.
No problem.
- Take it easy. - Would you like a receipt for that?
No, I trust you. Why don't you lighten up a little bit, Leonard.
- Cone on, Tasha. - Bye
Have a nice evening.
I don't know any other way.
Don't push me! Don't push me! Please don't push me! Just go!
- Don't call my fucking house! Jesus! - Wait! Wait!
- Fuck you. No. Don't fucking call me. - Wait!
- I don't even care. - I'm so sorry.
You know that. You are a fucking airhead.
Fuck man, I’m sorry! Please stay!
Please!
- We're gonna start with "Shirley, Shirley". - Last night.
- What, honey? - Your boyfriend?
Yeah.
It's complicated.
He's married. He has two kids.
But he fucking gambles
You know?
On sports.
He always needs money for new storm windows or something for his kids
so he says, but it's for gambling and I know and it
He... gambles with your money?
Yeah, he gambles with my money
So you pay... for sex?
Oh honey, there's no romance without finance, you know?
I'm... I don't pay for sex.
- No? - Uh-uh.
Well...
Wh... What.
You think if you got a wifey or a girlfriend, you don't pay, honey?
Honey, you pay, all right?
Alright. You ever been married? Don't answer that.
She probably died of some horrible disease and it's made you what you are.
Well, she was a... a dancer.
I worships her.
She ran... ran off with some guy who...
gave her a... a tattoo.
Took everything. Everything...
The dog. Everything.
Honey, you should have gotten another dog.
All right.
All right, slowly now.
Shirley.
- Shirley. - Shirley.
Alright.
Oh, Christ. I'm sorry.
Just Shirley, Shirley. Alright.
- Just practice it. - Alright.
Okay, Okay! Okay!
Stop ringing.
What? What?
When?
Oh.
Oh, hold on. Hold on.
Um...
We're gonna just stop for today. Alright, sweetheart.
I'm sorry. I just have to stop.
Hello?
Who is this?
- Walt. - Walt.
- Is there anything you need? - To tell you the truth, I was... I...
I was hoping later we would get together.
Sure. You're a godsend.
Because I’m...
having trouble with my rent... again this month.
Look. To tell you the truth, I'm...
I'm kind of tapped out. I don't have any money
except for the... the therapy.
I see.
- But we could still... still get together. - Oh, sure.
How about some... some time next... next week?
Listen, I’m gong to be tied up for the next couple of weeks.
But I'll call you.
I gotta go. Okay. Bye.
- Bye, sweetie. - Sure. Okay.
- I'll call you. Bye. - Okay.
Don't go, cos she ain't interested in you or what picture you wanna see.
- Mr. Pogo has returned. - She's just wasn't...
Where you going? I haven't finished my story.
- Nice wheels. - Thanks, man.
- Yeah, it must have cost you. - Yeah.
- Where'd you get the money? - Hey?
- Hey. - Aye. Uh.
What the fuck, man.
We hear you've been flashing around a lot of new cash. Where did you get it?
Look. Some guy owed me money. Big deal.
What fucking guy, huh? What guy?
Look, fuck this shit. Tasha, we gotta get out of here.
- Don't. - Aw.
Aw, shit!
Come here. I'm fucking the bitch. I'm fucking the bitch.
I'll tell you. Don't hurt the bike.
I been dealing.
Dealing? For who, motherfucker?
Reido.
For that fat fuck? In Mr. Z's territory?
Fucker!
Fucking... fucker.
Oh, shit!
You deal around here again you're fucking dead!
You never said nothing about dealing drugs!
Prick!
Tasha.
I really thought you were the one.
You just treated me like scum.
And you left me like a tornado leaves a town.
I gave you love.
I gave you gifts.
Bu t you treated me like shit.
And you fucking kicked me when I was down.
You fucking kicked me when I was down.
So no more excuses, alright. When I call, just answer the phone.
- Cos I know you talked to Karen. - She told you?
- No. - Tia.
You know. The young one in the dance club who had eyes for you?
Tia's a whore, Tommy.
Hey. They're all whores. Except my mother, may she rest in peace.
Hey, watch it.
Hey, and your mother too... What's your name again?
- LeShaun. - LeShaun. Right.
Anyways, tomorrow's Saturday
And the card game's at Vinnie's.
The guys would sure love it if you would drop by, like old times.
Maybe.
Yeah, sure. And black is beautiful.
Man, watch your mouth, all right? Fat boy
Fat boy?
- Oh, you motherfucker! - What's wrong with that?
Oh... now watch it.
No, I'm watching you. You wanna come over here and watch?
Don't be mad at me just cos you look like Pillsbury Doughboy.
I am somebody.
- Oh, no. Hold on. - No. come on.
- Walt. Hand me the paddle, man. Hand me the peddle. - Take it easy.
- Get that fucking paddle before you come over, I'll tell you that. - Yeah, you better watch out man.
Hey, come on! I said it to you on purpose! I know, you came from Kings.
I saw "Roots". All 20 nights of it.
Hey, you're making me miss 'em, Tommy. Come on!
Okay.
I got it.
There we go.
- Hey. - Hi. Is Walt there?
- Yeah, he's here. - Thanks.
Don't cry for me, Argentina.
What do you think, Mr "My Left Foot"? You know, for the Flawless contest?
- I don't know. - Oh, your brain's still broke, huh?
Well, that's okay.
Have you seen Miss Rusty? Cos she was supposed to help me with this.
- No, I haven't seen him. - Okay. Thank you.
- Bye, baby. - Bye.
Bye, big boy.
- He gone? - Un-huh
I don't wanna hear one fucking word from either one of you.
Okay... baby.
Here.
Oh, oh my God. I'm so glad I lived long enough to see that.
Baby.
Get up, girl.
Like Lana Turner in Ziegfeld Girl.
Oh, honey.
Hi.
- Are you all right? - Oh, peachy, honey.
- Where the hell you been? - Oh, fun and games.
My mother’s funeral and wake.
Oh, oh. Sorry to hear about your mother.
Oh, my father killed her a long time ago.
Buried her today, that's all.
This is my legacy...
Her old gloves. She always wore gloves.
Yeah, she was a victim, you know?
But she was sweet you know, but a victim.
A reformed drunk...
on her knees at church, begging
you know, Jesus, Mary and Joseph and every goddamn saint in heaven
to forgive her for giving birth to Cruella de Fag, you know.
Being a slave to my father before he died.
You would have loved each other.
He uh...
He thought Archie Bunker was a flaming liberal.
You know, every morning she would get up and fix him breakfast.
And... every morning, for 30 years
She said
Hi, Daddy. Do you love me?
No answer.
Every morning, 30 years. Hi, Daddy. Do you love me? No answer.
One day, my ma says Hi, Daddy. Do you love me?
And...
He said no.
The moral of that story is so...
If you haven't gotten an answer in 30 years, you ought to know it by now.
- Thanks for the drink. - You're welcome.
See you tomorrow. Thank you for staying.
Sor... Sorry about your mother. Thanks.
You 're right, Walt.
Honey, I just want you to know that you're a...
You know, I’m...
I'm not an artist, you know. I'm not some... female impressionist.
I'm a...
I'm lonely...
and I'm ugly...
and I'm a drag queen.
Now look who's feeling sorry for themselves.
- Where the fuck have you been? - Sonny, don't.
You says if I come here last night You'll have the rest of the fucking money
- Honey. Not now! Honey. - And I showed up!
I didn't have the money! I was somewhere else! Alright.
Well. Where's the fucking money? Give me the fucking money.
- Go and get em. - Come on, man. Take it easy, huh pal.
Who the fuck is this?
- Sonny! Let go! I'll get you the money. - Get my money.
Let go of him. I'll give you the money. Alright. - Get me the money.
- Walt, just get in the room. - Get the money.
Walt. He's not gonna let you go, alright!
Just walk in the room!
- I'm tired of coming here for nothing. - 5 minutes.
5 minutes. Okay?
Did you fuck around?
- I'm telling you, Rusty. I'm gonna fucking smack you. - You look good, you.
You look really good today, all right?
All right, honey.
Fuck you, you cocksucker!
Don't. Don't you fucking lock this door! Motherfucker!
Don't you lock that door!
- No! Not the fucking door again! - Oh god...
Rusty! You wanna fuck around. Let's fuck around.
Oh!
Come on. Open the fucking door! I need that money, man!
Steel plate. Don't worry.
I don't know if I did it to keep out burglars or Sonny, when he gets like this.
Go home and beat up wifey before I call the cops, you fucker!
All right, fuck you, fuck you. You just fucked up.
I'm coming back. I'm coming every fucking night.
You don't pay me, I'll take a fucking scissor to every fucking wig you got in here!
Motherfucker!
So that's your... your boyfriend?
He's not always like this.
He's got this Italian Catholic...
guilt and shame thing because he loves me so much.
We're... we're working it out.
This won't happen once I uh...
have my operation to be all woman, you know.
That's why I work teaching and sewing saving up for the day that I...
become a real woman.
You 're gonna become one of those he-she freaks?
All she.
After the...
hormone shots and the operation.
You're gonna cut off your dick and balls?
Snip, snip, sweetheart.
How could a man cut off his dick and balls? Why would you do that?
Because...
I'm a woman trapped in a man's body, honey.
You 're no woman.
I'm just not your idea of a woman, Walt.
You're nobody's idea of a woman.
They're my idea.
Maybe I can under understand if... if...
you wanted to be a woman, but...
What I don't understand is... why a man wants to be an ugly woman.
Open up! We ain't got all day! Come on!
Walt! We didn't think you would come to Vinnie's house
So we brought the party to you! Come on.
- Let's go. Let's go. Let's go... Come on, let's go. - We missed you.
Hey, you guys. Is Waldo back here or what?
Waldo Koontz is back. The man's a true hero.
I'll never forget that day in that bank 14 years ago.
I heard it 43 times. I heard enough.
- I don't wanna hear it again. - All right, I won't say it. I won't say it. I won't say it.
Whatever happened to the other guy?
You know, the other guard, Joe? Is he retired or...?
No, no. He got a great job in Southeast Asia, something like that.
- He is a smart guy. Right, Walt? - Right.
Walt. I hear you're thick with the she he's... or should I say long and thick?
I'm taking speech therapy cos it's in the building.
It's in the building, fuckhead.
- Yeah, Mike. And he's doing great. - He is.
Just I never thought I'd see Walt, The Wall Koontz, hanging out with drag queens.
- They're better fucking looking than you. - Will you shut the fuck up?
You're out. You out?
I'll get it.
- Paulie, are you out? - Yes, I’m out.
- It's you and I, Vinnie. - Come on. Are we playing cards?
- We're out, huh? - Yeah, yeah.
Fellas, you remember Tia from the dance club?
Walt, you remember Tia, right?
Whoa.
Jesus, you know what? We should go.
- Look at the time. - Yeah, it's getting late.
We should get outta here.
Come on, you guys.
- Fix the chips out later. - Come on. Come on.
- Please. - Hey, hey.
Hey, Tia.
You're a real girl, aren't you?
- Will you shut the fuck up? - What?
Don't pay any attention to him. He's brain damaged from birth.
Alright, hey Walt. Get your skinny ass...
I'll see you next Saturday, alright? My house. Okay?
How you doing?
Okay.
This is for you.
I can put them in some water for you.
Just let me know where the stuff is.
- I got it. I... I got it. - It's okay.
Relax. No, I'll do it.
I'll... I'll...
Oh.
I know how much you like the tango so much, so uh...
I made a tape of those songs that you like the most.
Quality's not that great but...
You get the idea.
Thanks for the... the tape.
Nice. Nice. Nice.
Walt.
Well, you never asked me to dance, so...
- Now I can ask you. - No, I... I...
It's okay.
I don't have any money.
Who said anything about money?
Wait. Wait. I get it.
What?
Tommy paid you.
He feels sorry for me. Didn't he?
You feel sorry for me
I feel sorry for you?
No problem.
I never felt sorry for you, Walt. Until now.
Take it easy, Walt.
Shirley, Shirley bo Birley.
Bonana fanna fo Firley.
- Fee fy mo Mirley, Shirley. - Shirley.
Mary.
Mary, Mary bo Birley.
Bonana fanna fo Firley.
- Fee fy mo Mirley, Mary. - Mary.
A Little trick with Nick.
Nick, Nick Bo-Bick
Bonana Fanna Fo-Fick.
Fee-fy-mo Mick Nick...
Oh. Go girl. Go, girl. Go, girl...
All right! All right, sweetheart.
Very good, honey. Very good.
Good song you picked. Good.
What's next?
Honey, I think that's it. You graduated.
I thought you were gonna do some songs, some stuff to learn? Huh?
Honey, I would love to keep taking your money. You know.
But you're doing... You're doing really well, you know.
And I made you a bunch of tapes.
And, you know. You can go practice them.
Why don't you come by tomorrow at 5. And you can pick 'em up, okay?
- Okay. Good. - Okay.
Thanks for meeting with us. Gentlemen.
We've been discussing, this year's Gay Pride parade.
And we felt that it would be important... well, a good idea, to show a united front.
Synthesis, I believe.
Right. Um...
We felt, as gay Republicans
We thought it would be a really good idea if we could all come together
and show the world our likenesses, not our differences.
To celebrate the... um...
- Synthesis. - Right, synthesis. Uh synthesis.
You 're very good. You are.
Sorry, go ahead.
We... We could march together as a united brotherhood.
- What about the sisterhood? - Uh huh. - Yeah.
We march on foot. No floats.
Yeah. You think if you have no floats, we won't do drag cos we can't march in heels.
Well, let me tell you something, honey.
We can march to Lake Titicaca and back in stilettos.
- So don't. - Hey, that's right.
Hey, let's just calm down then.
Aren't you guys the same group that, you know.
Raised a shitload of money and give it to Bob Dole's campaign, and he...
sent it back to me?
No, that's because he would have lost support of the Christian Right...
Exactly. Cos you're gay.
You 're gay, that's why he sent it back. Aren't you ashamed?
Alright, listen. You are right.
We are different... but not in the way that you mean.
We're different because you are ashamed of us, and we are not ashamed of you.
Alright. Because as long as you get down on those Banana Republican knees and suck dick. Honey.
You're all my sisters.
And I love you. I do.
God bless you... and fuck off.
Ma?
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
Jacko... Jacko.
Mr. Z, I didn't expect...
Where's my mother?
Leonard. Haven't I always been good to you?
Good to me? You've always been g-good to me, Mr. Z.
Didn't I help you get the mortgage on this place for your mother?
You 're a saint, Mr. Z.
I kind of treated you like a pet, didn't I?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Sit down. Leonard.
We searched every step of Raymond's route 50 times and still no money.
Mr. Z, don't you remember that I was the one that tipped you off? Don't you remember that.
Uh-huh. And we searched every square inch of that asswipe leabag motel.
- And still no money. - Mr. Z, please!
I swear to you. I swear on my mother. I swear on my mother!
Oh, your mother.
She said she didn't know anything either.
Even after we took her glasses.
Mommy.
And her hearing aid.
And her teeth.
Mommy.
And her little bird.
Lucia no.
Now, in exactly 20 minutes, Vance is gonna deliver your mother here.
Don't worry about her.
I told him to soothe her with a few milkshakes.
And whatever the fuck else she could gum down.
At the drive thru at Mickey Dee's.
Now, if... and this is a big if', Leonard
if you are telling the truth
Then someone in that hotel got my money.
I don't have it. I don't have it. I don't have it.
If you're a good dog you'll fetch and retrieve it for me.
If you don't... I can only come to one conclusion.
Leonard, if you spend one dime that looks suspicious.
Next time, you won't be swearing on your mother.
You'll be swearing on her grave.
Who is it? It's Walt.
Oh, honey, come on in. The door's open.
Surprise!
- Yeah! - Ha, ha, ha...
Come on in the house. Come on. Surprise.
Happy graduation! Happy graduation!
Yeah, that's right. Sing it up!
Happy graduation! Happy graduation!
Yeah...
Alright, Walt.
Alright.
- Wanna dance? - I'd love to. But I have to go.
Bye, honey. Take care of yourself. You too.
Mr. "My Left Foot". This is the movie I was talking about.
"My Left Foot". This is for you to keep. Okay. It's very inspirational
Thanks.
Do you like my cufflinks?
And they really shoot BBs.
If you like this, I can get you another one. It's called "The Hunchback of Notre Dame."
Have you heard of it before? It's my favorite.
It's about this guy who's really misshape. like even worse than you.
And he falls in love with this beautiful fiery, wild, gypsy girl called Esmeralda.
She kinda looks like me.
Come on. Let's dance!
Pussy, pussy, pussy.
Oh, God. My tits are falling off. Falling down.
Here, you wanna see 'em? Here's what it is.
- No, no. - Alright.
Hello! Pizza, everyone!
- All right! - One's on the house.
Carmine, Carmine. Let me pay for it.
We got 'this. I got one, and Carmine and his folks are getting the other. I'll pay for it.
Hi, Carmine. Hi.
I have to get going. My father's waiting for me. Have to get back to work. A lot of work to do.
Carmine, why don't you have a drink? Come on, have a drink.
Let me touch your chest. Like this.
Girls! Take him down! Take him down!
No. You first.
My popper, good popper.
Give me a kiss, honey. Give me a kiss, honey.
- She's sweet, right? - God, how old is she?
She's a Leo. You know.
-I asked how old she was. - I... You know, I don't know. I..
I met her, uh you know when she was wearing a uniform.
Oh, yeah? What kind of uniform?
You know, that school outfit or whatever.
- What school? - The little Catholic place down the street.
- Junior high? High school? - You know, yeah. You know.
Get to the shirt, come on.
Yeah! Carmine you're hot!
Yeah. Take it off!
Look at that. Oh, my God! Look at his stomach, Jesus Christ!
Carmine I love you.
Goddamn, Carmine! I sent you an hour ago! Come on!
Hey!
Let him stay!
Hey!
Leave the guy alone. Leave him alone
Carmine, I love you!
Aww...!
Oh, my God. She shot me.
Oh, my God. I'm scarred! And the big contest is tomorrow night.
Oh, it was an accident.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was an accident. - Oh God!
I told you not to wear those guns.
- Look, you 're so stupid! - Oh, no. I...
- Oh, Rusty... - Let me look. Oh, my god.
- I shot my best friend in the tit with my cufflink. - Alright... Alright...
- I didn't mean it. - Alright.
You know, um...
Honey, I never would have believed that we could have gotten through this together.
I mean, I can't believe that I could.
And I mean that I could...
you know, actually be of some kind of help to someone like you.
You know, the big hero and all you know.
I'm no big hero. I'm...
I'm... scared.
I need a drink.
What could you be scared of, huh?
What's the worst fear?
You know. That you'll fall on the street?
Someone will make fun of you? I mean, what?
I'm... I'm afraid that women won't want to sleep with me any more.
Well, guess what?
Some of them won't.
So you'll just have to find the ones that will, Walt.
And just remember
This is who you are, Waldo.
You 're Walt "the Wall" Koontz, a true hero.
Who's the little guy?
- Joe. - Joe.
- Joe and me were friends for years. - Um-hm.
Best friends.
He really wanted to better himself.
I really admired him.
He went to school nights and on weekends...
to learn computers.
Got a...
big job in Asia with computers.
I drove him to the airport...
And off, Joe went to Asia.
Two days later, the bank...
...has... $200.000 missing.
Oh. Oh, Christ.
Somehow done from the inside with computers.
Nobody ever heard from Joe again.
I drove Joe to the airport.
Got used by my best friend.
I never told anybody that.
Some hero, huh?
Well... um.
Since it's confession night...
at Our Lady of Perpetual Disco.
I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone.
I've got...
Mr. Z's money.
It's alright.
I got here, right when you were being rushed to the hospital.
You know. And uh.
And when the cops left, I went up.
You know. Cos Amber had given me, her key.
And told me where she had always hid her money. You know.
She always had some money set aside for her funeral.
cos she always knew that she was gonna die young.
And of course, she did.
You know. Poor baby.
So, where is it?
Right in here, honey.
Where Mama always knows where it is.
Right here.
In hips, ass and titty city, sweetheart.
It's gonna pay for my operation.
And when I come back you know, a new woman
I'm gonna give Amber a funeral.
And a monument and an eternal flame, honey.
Just like Princess Diana.
Wait a minute. You said that...
You said that you needed the money from the lessons, right?
What... I was your.. your cover?
So all the sewing jobs
The crying poor.
the... my lessons
That was all... that was all...
So that Leonard would not suspect you?
Wait a minute, honey.
So... you...
You used me cos of my condition.
Excuse me!
Check your playbill, Judge Ito. You came to me.
That's cos I needed help. And you used me.
Uh truth, baby? You wanna play fucking truth?
You needed someone you weren't ashamed to be crippled in front of.
All right? Someone you thought was so beneath you.
You know. A worse freak so you could feel superior and still be the big fucking man.
At least...
I'm a real man.
Everybody, including Wolf fucking Blitzer on CNN
knows you don't think I'm a real man, honey.
All right, what? Cos I don't... What?
Shit in the woods? I don't shoot guns?
You know? I mean, let me tell you something, baby.
Alright. It takes a shitload more courage to wake up and face my life
than anything you've ever fucking dreamed of, all right?
You couldn't handle real adversity, honey.
That's the truth.
Truth? You want fucking truth?
You ain't gonna be a woman. You're never gonna be a woman.
You're an ugly fat faggot. There's truth.
You're an ugly fucking fat faggot.
Darling. I am more man than you will ever be.
And more woman than you will ever get.
- You wish! - Yeah, I do wish! All right, honey?
And if you didn't noticed.
And while the hate was pouring out of you, you didn't stutter once.
Now haul your sorry, fucking crippled ass out of my house.
Once and for all. Move it, gimpy.
- Watch your fucking mouth! - Or what? You'll beat the shit out of me?
- For starters, yeah! - Your days of beating the shit are over!
- Face it, Waldo, your hero days are over. Alright. - You're a fucking, fucking.. You're a fucking faggot.
I may be a female impersonator, but you my friend,
are a male impersonator!
Fuck you!
Yeah, life's a bitch so I became one! Honey.
Oh, my God.
Look who's here, Sal.
We gotta say hello.
- Hey, Walt. - Hi Walt.
- How you doing? - Hey, Tommy.
It's good to see you, man. Welcome back.
That's okay.
I'm going over there.
- We'll talk to you. - Right.
Hey. Walt.
- How are you? - Okay.
I've really missed you.
Well, thanks.
Mmm, flowers.
For me?
Not exactly.
Excuse me.
- Hi. - Hi.
I brought you some flowers.
Thanks.
You want to dance?
This fucking cunt did not deserve to fucking win!
She's not a true fucking beauty! This contest is fixed!
Hey, tell your stories walking, girls!
This group this way. You girls that way!
- Fine, Ms Perkins. - Bullshit!
This is what gives drag queens a bad name.
You two are banned from the contest next year.
- Maybe so, hefty. - Yeah. Because, you 're old and I’m young.
And I'm gonna live to piss on your fucking grave.
Hello, buzzard!
This is the first time I...
since this... happened.
I was real nervous.
But you were great.
You were great.
You were. I was nervous.
You just need to be around somebody.
I don't know, that... that likes you... you know.
Just the way you are.
Somebody else said that... to me.
Said. Some girls won't like you like this.
"You gotta find the one that will".
Yeah, well, they didn't bullshit you.
They told you the truth.
Whoever it was.
She must be a real good friend, huh?
Why do you say she?
I don't know. It sounds like something a woman would say.
Why? Was it a man?
Well, not... not exactly.
Well, whatever. Whoever it was...
sounds like a good friend.
Good evening, Mr. Koontz. If you hear anything in the building later tonight.
Like what?
Anything at all. Just ignore it.
Pretend it's not happening.
Do you know the phrase Two closed ears, one closed mouth?
That's my motto and I follow it.
To hear nothing, to see nothing, to speak nothing.
I... I don't care what goes on in this rat trap.
Who you think you're kidding? You've got the biggest ears,
the biggest nose and the biggest mouth of anybody I ever met.
Which makes you the biggest asshole.
Ooh, my wig!
Is everyone dry? Everyone dry. All right, girls.
- Good night. - Good night, Mama.
I love you.
We're starting on all new songs next week. Alright.
Hey, why don't we go upstairs and show Mr. "My Left Foot" that we won?
Walt is history, honey.
He doesn't like us any more.
I love you.
But I still like him.
Taxi! Hey!
- Get the fuck in here. - Wh... What?
Oh.
So it's that kind of party, is it?
Where's my money?
Honey, this is where I came in.
Do I look like someone who's got your money?
This looks like you got my money.
$25.000 deposit for an operation.
I earned that money.
$35.000 for a complete series of female hormone therapy.
$25.000 for extensive psychological testing before therapy.
Another $40.000 due.
You know, it costs a lot to look like a woman.
Too expensive to look this cheap.
Fucker.
Death is cheap... fucker!
Just give me my money.
You understand that?
Just give me my money and I'm not gonna hurt you.
Give him some more.
Give it up, you bitch!
No! Stop!
You shot him! Fuckers!
Let him go! Let him go!
- Please! - Why should I let him go?
Just let him go and I'll give you the money.
Rusty, don't do it! Don't do it!
- Walt!... Walt! - I'll kill him.
Fucking bitch! Faggot!
Don't kill that bitch till I get my money.
Stop!
Okay, hero boy.
On a count of three. No money, no rest of your life.
- Sound fair? - Okay.
It's in the bedroom.
Show me, you gimp fuck! Come on, show me!
Where's the secret...
Fuck!
Son of a bitch!
Fuck you!
Come on, you fuck! Quit your fucking sniveling.
Gotta knock that fucker down! Knock that fucker down!
You motherfucker, you!
Where's the fucking phone?
Come on, motherfucker!
Stop! Stop...!
She's got a gun.
- Oh shit! - Catch that cunt!
Go!
Mrs. Spivak!
Call the cops! Call the cops!
Go away, or I'll call the police!
You ain't going nowhere, you fucking gimp fuck!
Oh god...
Grace Kelly. "Rear Window", honey. Alright.
Where you at, motherfucker?
Thought you, fucking get away, uh!
Oh, God.
Fucker!
All right, girl.
Linda Hamilton.
Terminator... 2.
My money.
You clever bitch.
Sticking my money in your fucking ugly girdle.
Hold it.
Put down the gun.
Before your girlfriend here gets a chance to blow Liberace.
Put it down.
Now put it down.
Put it down!
Thataboy.
Now, why don't you slide it over here?
Aww...!
Walt Koontz and Russell Zimmerman.
- Can you confirm this self-defense story? - Yes. Self defense.
They were criminals. They were animals and brutes.
- They killed my mother's canary. - What?
They killed my mother's canary.
I called the police. Do I get a reward?
Now, the name's Ivana. I V A N A.
- Last name? - Man.
lvana Man!
I knew all night that something was gonna happen. Hi mom!
I won Miss Flawless for the third time.
Careful!
It's a shoulder wound. He'll be fine.
It's Mr. "My Left Foot"!
I'm sorry. Relatives only.
I'm his sister.
He's my sister.
Thank you.
- All right! - I'll visit you later. Bye, Rusty!
Community Hospital downtown, huh?
You got medical insurance? How you gonna pay?
Cash, honey.
Alright. New York Hospital.
And I want the best team of surgeons available. Alright.
What! You heard me, Nurse Ratched.
Alright. Burn rubber, girl. We're going uptown.
Lucky you didn't cut your balls off yet.
- Come on! - Come on, girls!
Get him! Get him!
You tried to kill my sister!
Mr. Z means Mr. Zero!
Come on! Get out of the way!
Get off of me! It's police brutality!
Get off of me.
Get off me.
We've got witnesses! Bitch.
- Get off of me. - Watch my crown! Watch my crown!