[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[WHISPERS] I dare you.
[JAZZ PLAYING]
I DARE YOU.
COME ON, I DARE YOU.
I DARE YOU.
OKAY. JOAN, I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD.
WHY NOT?
WELL, BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL.
[TILL DINGS] YEAH, SO?
Woman: S-SO YOU CAN'T JUST BREAK THE LAW.
WHY NOT?
WELL, BECAUSE YOU--
YOU JUST CAN'T ACT ANY OLD WAY YOU LIKE.
IT'S-- IT'S UNCIVILIZED.
I DARE YOU.
[LAUGHS]
Joan: GOOD AFTERNOON.
AND HOW MAY I HELP YOU, YOUNG LADY?
I WOULD LIKE SOME BENZEDRINE INHALERS
FOR MY MIGRAINES, PLEASE?
Pharmacist: WHO'S YOUR DOCTOR?
Joan: DR. BENNET IN TUXEDO PARK.
I GO TO BARNARD, BUT I STILL GO TO MY FAMILY DOCTOR BACK HOME.
Pharmacist: AND HOW MANY DO YOU NEED?
OH, THE WHOLE CASE, PLEASE.
WELL, YOU SEEM LIKE A PRETTY SENSIBLE GIRL.
[JAZZ PLAYING]
OH, GOD, THAT TASTES TERRIBLE.
OH, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU, SADIE.
DRINK YOUR MEDICINE LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
HELLO?
ALLEN, I DARE YOU.
OKAY, DARE ME TO WHAT?
♪ BENZEDRINE MAKES ME SING. ♪
PATTON'S 90 MILES AWAY FROM PARIS.
I DON'T THINK LUCIEN AND JACK ARE GONNA MAKE IT IN TIME FOR THE LIBERATION.
WELL, THEY SHOULD'VE APPRAISED GENERAL PATTON OF THEIR PLANS.
[LAUGHS]
STILL, SAILING A FREIGHTER ACROSS THE OCEAN,
THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING.
[ SIGHS ] IT'S NOT LIKE THEY RAN AWAY TO JOIN THE WAR.
THEY JUST SIMPLY RAN AWAY.
WELL, JOANIE, THERE'S STILL U-BOATS IN THE ATLANTIC.
GIVE THEM A LITTLE BIT OF CREDIT.
THERE ARE OTHER THREATS FROM BELOW.
YOU GUYS, LISTEN TO THIS.
"THERE WAS A FIRE IN A TRAVELING CIRCUS
AND THEY SAVED THE LIONS, BUT--
THIS IS A VERY BIG BUT--
THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED IN THEIR TANKS."
[SADIE LAUGHING]
"THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED IN THEIR TANKS."
[WHISTLES] [KNOCKS]
THE SAILORS ARE BACK.
JACK!
I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO SAIL TO BE A SAILOR.
DID YOU MISS US?
I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY IN MOURNING.
WHERE-- WHERE'S MY BLACK VEIL?
ORDINARILY WHEN A GOING-AWAY PARTY IS THROWN IN ONE'S HONOR,
IT'S CUSTOMARY FOR ONE TO ACTUALLY GO AWAY.
WE FUCKED UP. WE GOT KICKED OFF THE SHIP.
NO, YOU FUCKED UP.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DESPERATE TO GET AWAY FROM DAVE.
I AM, I AM. WE'LL CATCH THE NEXT ONE.
YEAH, AND WE'LL SIGN ON AND WE'LL LEAVE TOMORROW.
WELL, DON'T EXPECT ANOTHER GOING-AWAY PARTY.
YOU GUYS HAVE HAD ONE TOO MANY BON VOYAGES
WITHOUT ACTUALLY TAKING A VOYAGE.
TOMORROW. DEFINITELY TOMORROW.
YES, WE ARE DEFINITELY LEAVING TOMORROW.
Sadie: OH, JACK. MISS ME, JOAN?
MM, HOW LONG IS THIS VOYAGE GONNA LAST?
ONE DAY? MAYBE TWO?
WELL, CAN I AT LEAST BUY YOU A BON VOYAGE DRINK?
Joan: GOOD CHEAP WINE.
HOW DARE YOU CAST ASPERSIONS ON MY RED WINE.
I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING SOMETHING TONIGHT.
I AM DOING SOMETHING. I'M GETTING LIT.
WELL, POUR ONE FOR ME, WILL YA?
SURE.
Dave: GOOD EVENING, GOOD PEOPLE.
OH, GOD.
OH, IT'S A MIRACLE.
YOU DIDN'T GO.
NOW, DAVE, IT'S NOT LIKE LUCIEN
HAS JUST RISEN FROM THE DEAD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
THAT WAS MY QUESTION.
WE, UH, GOT IN A LITTLE BEEF.
WE'RE GONNA LEAVE TOMORROW.
TOMORROW.
AND TOMORROW AND TOMORROW.
WELL, I AM DELIGHTED THAT YOU DIDN'T SHIP OUT.
DELIGHTED.
YES.
WE NEED TO TALK.
DAVE, WHAT IS THE POINT OF FIXATING ON LUCIEN LIKE THIS?
THE POINT?
[LAUGHING] NO, COME HERE.
LOOK, MAYBE I AM FIXATING.
BUT EVERYONE'S DRAWN TO HIM.
I MEAN, YOU ARE.
ADMIT IT. COME ON, ADMIT IT, ALLEN. NO, NO, I--
NO, LUCIEN IS THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY.
LU FOUND YOU AND HE FOUND JACK AND HE FOUND JOAN,
AND LU MADE THIS WHOLE SCENE HAPPEN
BECAUSE OF THIS AMAZING THING THAT HE HAS.
AND, ANYWAY, I SAW HIM FIRST.
AND I WANTED HIM FIRST.
I SAW HIM AT CAMP WEHILO.
DID I TELL YOU THAT I WAS HIS-- HIS CAMP COUNSELOR? YES.
YEAH, SEVERAL TIMES.
SO, IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST
THAT HE USES YOU TO DO ERRANDS?
NOT IF IT KEEPS US CLOSE, ALLEN.
I WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP US CLOSE.
OH, HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A DEVIL.
YOU KNOW, NAUGHTIEST BOY IN THE CAMP.
I'M GONNA GO FIND HIM.
[SIGHS]
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A LITTLE DRASTIC,
SAILING ALL THE WAY TO FRANCE JUST TO GET AWAY FROM DAVE?
IT'S NOT AS DRASTIC AS WHEN DAVE QUIT TEACHING ENGLISH IN ST. LOUIS
TO BECOME A JANITOR IN NEW YORK JUST TO BE NEAR ME.
I'M NOT HOLDING DAVE UP
AS THE STANDARD OF REASONABLE BEHAVIOR.
BUT WHY DO YOU LET HIM WRITE YOUR FRESHMAN LIT PAPERS
WHEN YOU'RE MORE THAN CAPABLE OF DISCOURSING ON THE GREAT FRESHMAN THEMES?
DAVE GETS A KICK OUT OF DOING IT FOR ME.
WHO AM I TO DENY HIM SOME SIMPLE PLEASURES?
BECAUSE DAVE EXPECTS SOMETHING FROM THE DEAL.
THAT, LUCIEN, IS REASONABLE.
HE'S PATHETIC, HE'S THE IDIOT.
HE'S THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAM WITHOUT THE HUNCH.
YES, DAVE IS PATHETIC,
BUT HE'S A PERSON, NOT A LITERARY CONCEIT.
THAT'S WHY I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO SAIL TO FRANCE. CHEAP MELODRAMATICS.
YOU PRETEND LIKE YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY FROM THE PROBLEM,
BUT THE TRUTH IS YOU, LUCIEN, ARE CREATING IT.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
IT'S SIMPLE-- STOP USING DAVE.
POLITELY PULL HIM ASIDE AND TELL HIM TO LEAVE YOU ALONE.
CLEAN AND SIMPLE.
TAKE CARE OF THIS, LUCIEN.
THESE THEATRICS ARE BECOMING A REAL BORE.
WELL, EXCEPT FOR YOU, THE AUDIENCE SEEMS ENTERTAINED.
AMATEUR THEATRICS.
FRESHMAN THEATRICS.
DOESN'T EVEN ASPIRE TO THE SOPHOMORIC.
STRICTLY NOWHERE.
IF YOU MUST LEAVE, FINE.
BUT DO IT SOON, LUCIEN.
BEFORE SOMETHING NASTY HAPPENS HERE.
I'M SERIOUS.
I'VE GOT 2.75
2.77.
ALL RIGHT, HE BETTER NOT BE GONE.
MUST YOU SHIP OUT AGAIN TOMORROW?
NOW, LUCIEN, UH...
I'LL MISS YOU VERY MUCH.
I THINK HE KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL, DAVE.
WELL, I'M NEVER SURE IF I ACCURATELY CONVEY MY FEELINGS.
OKAY, WELL, UH, I'll SEE YOU LATER, DAVE.
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
WE'RE JUST TRYING TO ROUND UP SOME MORE SCRATCH FOR SOME BOOZE.
UM, WE NEED ABOUT A BUCK.
OH, WELL, I'M-- I'M FLUSH.
I'LL COVER IT. HERE.
UM, HERE, HERE, HERE. DAVE, COOL IT, WE GOT IT.
NO, I'M-- I'M COOLING IT, LUCIEN.
[PHONE RINGS]
IT'S JUST-- IN THE SPIRIT OF FRIENDSHIP.
Joan: ALLEN, IT'S YOUR BROTHER.
SHIT.
JOAN, I WISH YOU'D TOLD HIM I WASN'T HERE.
COME ON, LET'S GO GET THE BOOZE.
IT'S A LIQUOR STORE, LU.
IT'S NOT TIMBUKTU.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE BOOZE, ALL RIGHT?
HURRY BACK.
[LAUGHS]
NOW, HERE IS A NICE LITTLE ITEM
ABOUT A CONFLAGRATION IN A TRAVELING CIRCUS.
"THE FIREFIGHTERS MANAGED TO SAVE THE LIONS,
BUT THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED IN THEIR TANKS."
WHO SAYS WE AREN'T MAKING SACRIFICES ON THE HOME FRONT?
YES.
"THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED IN THEIR TANKS."
AWFULLY RANK.
MY EMPATHY IS BOTTOMLESS FOR THE POOR HIPPOPOTAMUS.
TOUCHE.
IT IS TOO BAD THAT YOU ARE NOT A MAN.
AW, BILL, NOBODY'S PERFECT.
BOTTOMS UP.
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE EXCEPT FOR YOU.
YOU'VE RUINED ME.
NO, DAVE. YOU RUINED YOURSELF.
NO, I DID EVERYTHING THAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO, LUCIEN.
YOU ENCOURAGED ME.
NOW I'M DISCOURAGING YOU.
I'M NEVER GONNA BE WHAT YOU WANT.
OH, NO.
NO, BUT YOU ARE.
YOU ARE, YOU'RE EXACTLY WHAT I--
DAVE, I'M NOT A QUEER, ALL RIGHT?
FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
BUT I FOUND YOU.
YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO BILL, HAVEN'T YOU?
THIS DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH BILL.
I LIKE YOU, I REALLY DO.
I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT.
YOU CAN-- YOU CAN-- YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH BILL
AND YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH ALLEN,
BUT-- BUT IF I WANNA HANG OUT WITH YOU,
THEN I'VE GOTTA DO ALL KINDS OF SHIT.
I'VE GOTTA EARN YOUR FUCKING FAVORS, LUCIEN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
LOOK, I DON'T--
STOP, DAVE!
Dave: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!
LUCIEN, LUCIEN.
LUCIEN, LOVE ME.
LOVE ME.
[KEYS CLACKING] [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
LUCIEN! OH, GOD.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I KILLED DAVE.
WHAT?
I STABBED HIM.
WE WENT TO THE PARK TO TALK, AND I...
WANTED TO GET HIM TO STOP OBSESSING.
AND HE KISSED ME, AND HE WOULDN'T STOP.
THEN HE TRIED TO FUCK ME, AND HE WOULDN'T STOP.
EVEN AFTER I STABBED HIM, HE WOULDN'T STOP.
I ROLLED HIS BODY INTO THE-- INTO THE HUDSON.
THEN I SUNK HIM.
I SUNK DAVE.
I GUESS I SHOULD'VE STAYED HERE.
THEY'LL PROBABLY GIVE ME THE CHAIR FOR THIS, HUH?
DON'T BE ABSURD.
THEY DON'T FRY FRESHMAN LITERATURE STUDENTS.
YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR MOTHER AND ASK HER FOR SOME MONEY
AND GET A LAWYER AND TURN YOURSELF IN.
GOD DAMN IT, LUCIEN.
I SAVED HIS CIGARETTES.
YOU WANT THE LAST ONE?
OH, BILL.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO END BADLY.
[PIANO PLAYS MELANCHOLIC PIECE]
[GRUNTING]
[FLUSHES]
[WHISTLE TOOTS]
[TOOT]
ONE FOR THE ROAD.
[CLICK]
BULL'S-EYE.
WHERE IS THE BROOD?
THE BROOD IS OUT PLAYING WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD URCHINS.
SO, DO THEY HAVE RUINS DOWN IN GUATEMALA?
IT'S ALL RUINS.
OR IT ALL WILL BE, GIVEN ENOUGH TIME.
AH. JUST LIKE PEOPLE.
YES.
BUT PEOPLE DECAY MORE PROMPTLY THAN MAYAN TEMPLES.
I TOLD LEE THAT I WOULD MEET HIM DOWN AT THE STATION.
AND WHAT DOES YOUR YOUNG MAN MAKE OF THE MAYANS?
WELL, I HAVE YET TO INQUIRE ABOUT HIS PREFERENCE IN LOST CIVILIZATIONS.
AH, BUT HE MUST LIKE RUINS.
[CHUCKLES]
YES.
HE LIKES ME TOLERABLY ENOUGH.
WE HAVE REACHED AN ACCOMMODATION.
WELL, THAT MUST BE NICE
WHEN SEX CAN BE SO TOLERABLY ACCOMMODATED.
YOU HAVE A NICE VACATION, DEAR.
YOU, TOO.
BUT I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. REMEMBER?
A VACATION FROM ME.
STAYING BEHIND IS NOT A VACATION.
ENVY AND RESENTMENT, JOANIE, IS ONLY POSSIBLE
BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SEE YOUR OWN SPACE-TIME LOCATION.
WILLIAM, I SEE MY SPACE-TIME LOCATION,
AND I AM ANGRY ABOUT BEING LEFT BEHIND.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID LUCIEN AND ALLEN WERE DRIVING DOWN TO VISIT.
WELL, IF YOU REALLY THOUGHT SO,
YOU'D STAY TO SEE YOUR OLDEST FRIENDS, WOULDN'T YOU?
WELL. VERY TEMPTING... BUT...
BUT OTHER ACTIVITIES ARE MORE TEMPTING.
GOOD-BYE, DEAR.
[STREET MUSIC PLAYS DISTANTLY]
WELL.
GOOD-BYE, LITTLE BEASTS.
[PIANO PLAYS MELANCHOLIC PIECE]
[ORCHESTRA COMES IN]
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
DID YOU SEE THE FLOCK OF VULTURES?
NOPE.
A FLOCK OF VULTURES.
A BROOD OF VULTURES.
A BROOD OF BROODING VULTURES.
ONE MUST BE VERY CAREFUL
TO CALL A PREDATOR BY ITS PROPER PLURAL, DON'T YOU THINK, LEE?
WHO CARES?
YEAH.
[BIRD SQUAWKS]
JOAN! GUYS! HI!
HI! HOW ARE YOU?
AHHH... OH, GOD!
IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU.
OH, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG, YOU GUYS.
AND, YOU-- I HAVEN'T SEEN, UH, YOU SINCE...
SINCE, UH...PRISON.
PRISON. RIGHT.
WHERE'S BILL?
BILL'S IN, UH, GUATEMALA WITH HIS BOYFRIEND.
GUATEMALA?
YEAH. IT'S RIDICULOUS,
HUH? SO WE MISSED WILLY?
HE JUST, UH, HE JUST SPLIT?
WELL, CONSIDER YOURSELVES LUCKY.
BILL'S BEEN ACTING LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL IN LOVE.
WHAT A FAGGY DRAG.
WE ONLY HAVE 3, 4 DAYS TOPS,
BEFORE WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE CITY.
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING SO SOON?
AH. I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK ON MONDAY...
AS THE NEWLY APPOINTED JUNIOR EDITOR
OF THE UNITED PRESS INTERNATIONAL.
A FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT.
THAT'S RIGHT. A CORRESPONDENT IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY.
HOW UTTERLY DASHING. THANK YOU.
SO, LUCIEN, ARE YOU COMPLETELY REHABILITATED?
Allen: JOAN, I WROTE BILL WE WERE COMING.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE COULD JUST SPLIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET ABOUT BILL,
'CAUSE WE ARE GONNA HAVE KICKS.
HEY, JULIE.
JULIE, THIS IS LUCIEN.
HEY, KIDDO. HOW ABOUT A KISS?
I COLLECT KISSES
FROM SWEET LITTLE GIRLS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HI THERE. I'M ALLEN. I MET YOU BOTH
WHEN YOU WERE, UH, VERY, VERY LITTLE.
IT WAS BACK IN TEXAS. HUH? MMM.
[ALLEN AND JOAN CHUCKLE]
DO YOU LIKE MY DRESS?
OH...WHAT A VERY, VERY, VERY PRETTY GREEN DRESS.
IT'S PINK!
IT IS PINK! WHAT A PRETTY PINK DRESS.
HOW PRETTY?
TOO, TOO PRETTY. YOU AND YOUR PINK DRESS ARE JUST TOO, TOO PRETTY.
JUST LIKE YOUR MOM.
SHE'S GONNA GIVE YOU SOME COMPETITION, JOAN. [GIGGLES]
YEAH. I'M OUT OF THE RUNNING.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
HUH.
SO, UH...HOW ARE YOU?
HOW AM I?
I LIVE IN A MEXICAN SLUM.
MY HUSBAND HAS RUN OFF WITH ANOTHER MAN.
AND I'VE BEEN TOO BUSY WITH MY CHILDREN
TO GO DOWN TO THE FARMACIA AND REFILL MY DEXEDRINA.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO A FRIEND.
BENNY, JOAN.
JOAN, BENNY.
BENNY! OHH!
GOD. THANK YOU.
I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST...
ABSOLUTELY. TO...
MY...
2 FAVORITE BOYFRIENDS.
SALUD.
AH.
WELL, THIS IS GONNA BE KICKS. WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
I HAVE A FRIEND WITH A BAR DOWN THE STREET.
WE COULD GO FOR FREE DRINKS.
PERFECT. YEAH?
I HAVE TO GET A BABY-SITTER, THOUGH.
WELL...I'LL--I'LL-- I'LL WATCH THE KIDS.
I'D LIKE TO STAY AND WASH OFF SOME OF THIS ROAD GRIME.
YEAH?
IT'S MY PLEASURE.
NOT TOO MUCH PLEASURE, AL.
EASY ON THE PEDERASTY.
YEAH, YEAH. NOT TO WORRY, LU.
I LACK YOUR GENIUS FOR THE PERVERSE.
DRUGS ARE REALLY CHEAP.
BILL CAN GET HIS MORFINA OVER THE COUNTER.
HE CAN CARRY HIS GUNS ANYWHERE HE WANTS,
AND, UH, HE CAN SHOOT THEM IN THE HOUSE.
THAT'S WHAT WILLY LIKES. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT ABOUT ME?
WHAT DO YOU LIKE?
HEH.
I HAVE NOT THOUGHT ABOUT THAT FOR A WHILE.
[MUSIC AND SINGING]
I LOVE MY KIDS.
AND I LOVE...
THE OLD MAN.
THAT'S THE PROPER SIDE OF YOUR LIFE.
I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE IMPROPER SIDE.
I LIKE TO HIT THE LUSH.
IT'S A LOVE-HATE THING--
LIKING THINGS THAT ARE EVIL.
BUT YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT.
HOW'S THAT?
DAVE.
DO YOU THINK ABOUT HIM? IT?
DO YOU MEAN DO I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT?
HE TRIED TO FUCK ME. AND HE FUCKED ME.
2 YEARS IN ELMIRA.
WELL, DAVE'S REALLY FUCKED. HE'S DEAD.
I PAID FOR IT.
2 YEARS? COULD'VE BEEN A LOT WORSE.
IT'S MORE THAN THAT.
WHAT?
I LOST YOU.
OH, I THINK IT'S TIME TO PUT A SAD SONG ON THE JUKEBOX.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
THERE'S NOTHIN' TO TELL. SHE'S JUST A GIRL.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIENDS?
I DON'T HAVE ANY BOYFRIENDS.
WILLY HAS A BOYFRIEND.
YES, HE DOES.
BUT I AM DISGUSTINGLY LOYAL.
Man: JOAN.
EXCUSE ME.
YOU FEEL LIKE GOING UPSTAIRS TO MY APARTMENT FOR A QUIET DRINK?
YOU CAN BRING YOUR FRIEND.
BILL HAS HIS MEN FRIENDS.
I DON'T SEE WHY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE YOURS.
I THINK THAT'S BETWEEN BILL AND HIS MEN.
REMEMBER THIS ONE?
♪ HUG ME ♪
♪ SLUG ME ♪
♪ SAY YOU'LL NEVER-- ♪
WHAT, FUCK ME?
[LAUGHS] ♪ FUCK ME ♪ ♪ FUCK ME ♪
♪ AS CUPID ♪ ♪ FUCK ME ♪
Both: ♪ STRINGS HIS BOW ♪
Both: ♪ USE ME ♪
♪ ABUSE ME ♪
♪ SAY YOU'LL NEVER CHOOSE ME ♪
♪ FIRE AN ARROW AT MY HEART ♪
♪ AND SAY IT'S TIME TO GO ♪
[STRUMS GUITAR]
[CHUCKLES]
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A SONG IS THAT?
THAT IS A LOVE SONG.
LUCIEN CAN WRITE A SONG ABOUT ANYTHING.
OH, REALLY?
WELL, THEN
WHY DON'T YOU SING US A VOLCANO SONG?
A VOLCANO SONG. YEAH.
YEAH. AT...PARICUTIN,
HALFWAY TO GUADALAJARA.
A REAL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE,
HOT LAVA VOLCANO. IS THAT IT?
YEAH.
"WHEN IT ERUPTED BACK IN '47, IT WIPED OUT A WHOLE TOWN."
SAYS HERE THE ONLY THING THAT WAS LEFT
WAS THE CHURCH STEEPLE.
THEY THINK THE VOLCANO MIGHT ERUPT AGAIN.
LET ME SEE THAT.
HOT DAMN. SHOULD WE GO?
DO WE DARE?
YES.
I NEED SOME FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IN MY LIFE.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
THEY'RE PROBABLY EVACUATING THE AREA.
HUH. WELL, I PERSONALLY... LOVE BAD IDEAS.
BABY?
YES. BAD IDEAS ARE RARELY BORING.
Lucien: ADIOS, GENTLEMEN.
BYE. YEAH.
HEY. HEY.
DO YOU, UH... DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?
LIKE, UH...
LIKE WHAT?
LIKE A BLANKET.
NO. I'VE, UH... GOT MY...BEDROLL.
OH. OK.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
OK.
GOOD NIGHT.
WE'LL, UH...LEAVE EARLY... FOR THE VOLCANO.
ALL RIGHT? YES.
[BOUNCY LATIN MUSIC PLAYS]
Allen: YOU THINK THE KIDS'LL BE OK?
Joan: SURE, THEY WILL.
THEY'LL SURVIVE WITHOUT ME.
WE COULD'VE BROUGHT 'EM ALONG. I DON'T MIND.
Lucien: MAN, THEY WERE WAILING. WOW.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?
I NEED THIS VACATION. I MIGHT START SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF.
WHY DOES BILL GET TO HAVE ALL THE FUN?
I'M ENTITLED TO SING THE BODY ELECTRIC.
MMM. "THE ARMIES OF THOSE I LOVE ENGIRTH ME,
"AND I ENGIRTH THEM...
Allen and Joan: "AND CHARGE THEM FULL
WITH THE CHARGE OF THE SOUL."
ALLEN, CARE FOR A COCKTAIL?
SHIT. THE FEDERALES.
Lucien: WHAT, YOU MEAN THE MAN?
SI. EL HOMBRE.
UH, THEY'RE... WAVING ME OVER.
WELL, THEN PULL OVER.
ALL RIGHT. PULLING OVER, MY DEAR.
[BIRD CALLS]
Joan: BUENOS DIAS, SEÑORES.
LOS PAPELES.
YOU WANT A DRINK?
[BOTTLE SHATTERS]
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
THAT'S A WASTE.
ESTA INFRINGIENDO LA LEY, SEÑORES.
NOS VA A TENER QUE ACOMPAÑAR.
WHAT--WHAT DO-- WHAT DO THEY WANT?
THEY WANT MONEY.
AH. I HAVE MONEY.
THERE YOU GO.
GRACIAS.
EH?
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Joan: GIVE HIM YOUR CASH.
Allen: I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH ON ME.
UH, UH... YOU WANT MY CLOTHES?
Joan: DON'T GIVE HIM YOUR CLOTHES. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
LUCIEN, DON'T GIVE HIM YOUR CLOTHES.
NO, YOU'LL LIKE IT. YOU'LL LOOK GOOD IN IT.
THERE YOU GO. ESTA LOCO.
ESTE CABRON IS CRAZY?
NO, NO, NO. TAKE THAT. SI, LOCO.
LOCO. YOU WANT MY SHOES?
[SPEAKING SPANISH] ¿LOCO? NEW YORK CITY SHOES?
LUCIEN, I DON'T THINK HE GETS IT.
YOU WANT THE WHOLE HIP OUTFIT. IS THAT RIGHT?
HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
WAIT. NO, NO.
Lucien: THAT'S GOOD. Joan: OHHH...
Allen: I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
Lucien: VOILA.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
[CHUCKLES]
GET IN THE CAR.
[POLICE CAR MOTOR STARTS]
WHAT?
ADIOS.
[CHURCH BELL CHIMING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
CHRIST, IT'S HOT.
MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A SIESTA.
[DISTANT THUNDER]
OH, JESUS.
GOD! CAN'T YOU--
CAN'T YOU EVER KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF?
I THOUGHT A LITTLE COMPANIONSHIP MIGHT BE NICE.
I AGREED TO SLEEP WITH YOU TWICE A WEEK.
I'VE ALREADY SLEPT WITH YOU TWICE... THIS WEEK.
A DEAL IS A DE-- A DEAL.
[SIGHS]
NO NEED TO BE SMALL ABOUT THIS.
LET'S JUST TRY AND KEEP THINGS ON A FRIENDLY BASIS.
MAYBE TOMORROW.
IF YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF
IN THE MEANTIME.
WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE,
AND NOT A DROP TO DRINK.
DRINK THIS.
WHY DIDN'T WE EVER GET TOGETHER?
YOU KNOW, BEFORE ALL THE...
BEFORE...
WELL, BEFORE THE WHOLE DAVE THING.
AH, THE WHOLE DAVE THING.
YEAH.
EVERYONE SPENT THAT WHOLE SUMMER
TALKING ABOUT AND ANALYZING
THAT "WHOLE DAVE THING."
SO THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T DIG ME?
[CHUCKLES]
I DIDN'T DIG YOU BECAUSE YOU WENT TO PRISON
BEFORE I GOT A CHANCE TO DO ANY DIGGING.
I'M HERE NOW.
OK.
WHOA. OHHH... [CLEARS THROAT]
SCRATCH A BOHEMIAN, AND YOU GOT A BOY SCOUT.
NOT THAT I'M A BOHEMIAN OR A BOY SCOUT, BUT...
STILL...I STILL SORT OF HAVE THESE TRUE-BLUE FEELINGS FOR WILLY.
HMMPH.
OH, COME ON. HE'S STILL MY FRIEND.
[JOAN SNICKERS]
HEY!
SMILE.
COME HERE.
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYS]
[BIRD CHIRPS]
[VARIOUS ANIMAL CALLS]
FUCKING MEXICO.
IT'S A BEAT PLACE.
YES, IT IS.
I'VE HAD MY FILL.
IF YOU'RE SO UNHAPPY, THEN LEAVE...
WITH ME.
WITH US.
BILL CAN'T GO BACK TO THE STATES.
HE HAD THAT HEROIN CONVICTION.
YOU'RE CLEAN.
I'M POLLUTED.
YOUR RECORD'S CLEAN. YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY.
I CAN'T LEAVE BILL.
I LEFT BILL.
BILL WAS SUCKING ME DRY. BILL IS A PSYCHIC VAMPIRE.
THAT'S HIS PHRASE.
WHY DO YOU STAY WITH HIM?
BILL HAS GREAT POTENTIAL.
HE DOESN'T WRITE ANYTHING EXCEPT LETTERS.
ALLEN, DID YOU JUST COME DOWN HERE TO GIVE ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN?
WHY NOT? WHO ISN'T LOVELORN?
LUCIEN HAS GREAT POTENTIAL.
YEAH.
HE DID...
BEFORE HE STABBED DAVE TO DEATH.
LUCIEN IS A TENDER SPIRIT...
SLIGHTLY ARROGANT, SLIGHTLY HUMBLE...
SLIGHTLY BEAUTIFUL, SLIGHTLY DARING, SLIGHTLY BRILLIANT.
I TRY TO SEE THE WORLD THROUGH LUCIEN'S EYES.
I DREAM... ABOUT HIM.
REAL...SLEEPY-TIME, I-CAN'T-CONTROL- MY-SUBCONSCIOUS...
DREAMS.
IF HE HAD ANY IDEA OF THE MADNESS...
WENT ON IN MY HEAD...
HE WOULD DETEST ME AS A PSYCHIC VAMPIRE, AS MY PHRASE.
AND I KNOW THAT IT'S ALL TOO HOPELESS EVEN TO BE HOPELESS LOVE.
I'M NOT DAVE.
BUT LUCIEN IS MY BEST FRIEND.
ALL THE SAME.
YEAH... WE ARE THE LOVELORN.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
HA HA HA.
¿DONDE ESTAN TU PADRES?
MAS DINERO.
[CHUCKLES]
Lee: THAT WAS BRILLIANT.
HE'LL SPREAD THE WORD, AND THE HORDE WILL DESCEND.
WELL, NOT ALL OF US ARE SO STINGY WITH OUR FAVORS.
WE DID MAKE A DEAL.
YES, WE DID.
AND TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT
IT IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW WEEK.
WAIT UP, LEE.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
SI, SEÑORITA...
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
AH. GRACIAS.
WE ARE GOING THE RIGHT WAY.
WHERE'S THE LAVA AND THE FABLED FIRE AND BRIMSTONE?
WELL, THE VOLCANO HAS GONE BACK TO SLEEP,
BUT IT'S STILL SMOKING.
WE CAN, UH, GO TO THE TOWN
IT WIPED OUT LAST TIME.
OLD NEWS.
Allen: HEY, THE VOLCANO GOD'S AT PEACE.
BE THANKFUL.
HOW UTTERLY FUCKING BORING.
WE NEED TO GET THE VOLCANO GOD GOOD AND GODDAMN ANGRY.
[BEATS OUT QUICK RHYTHM]
SHALL WE GO FOR A STROLL?
SURE.
COME ON, ALLEN.
NO, THANKS.
HEY...WATCH OUT FOR, UH, THE VOLCANO GOD.
HE'S, UH, LURKING IN ALL THAT OLD LAVA.
[DISTANT RUMBLING]
STOP IT.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO.
WANTED TO WHAT?
YOU KNOW.
FUCK? YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE YESTERDAY,
AND YOU TURNED INTO A BOY SCOUT.
I'M NOT A BOY SCOUT NOW.
EXACTLY. NOT NOW.
I DON'T NEED ANOTHER PERSON IN MY LIFE TAKING ME FOR GRANTED.
[RUMBLING]
WOULD YOU KILL ALLEN IF HE TRIED TO FUCK YOU?
ALLEN'S HIP ENOUGH TO KEEP HIS LOVE FOR ME UNREQUITED.
YEAH, ALLEN'S SMART ENOUGH NOT TO ACT LIKE DAVE.
WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH DAVE?
I'M NOT OBSESSED WITH DAVE. I'M JUST CURIOUS.
YOU KILLED AN ASPIRING LOVER.
I THINK IT'S PERVERSELY ATTRACTIVE.
WHAT ABOUT MY UNREQUITED LOVE FOR YOU?
YOU-- YOU AREN'T THE UNREQUITED TYPE, LUCIEN.
[DISTANT RUMBLING]
[INHALES]
SOME VOLCANO.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Lucien: WE NEVER EVEN MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE VOLCANO.
WE SHOULD'VE HIKED UP THE CINDER CONE.
WE GOT CLOSE ENOUGH.
NO. AL, WE DROVE ALL THE WAY OUT HERE.
WE NEEDED TO MAKE IT TO THE TOP.
LUCIEN, THERE'S CLOSE ENOUGH, AND THERE'S TOO FAR.
YOU ALWAYS WANT TO GO TOO FAR.
THERE'S WANTING, AND THEN THERE'S GOING.
TUH!
HA!
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
¿CUANTO?
Lucien: MEXICO'S PRETTY FUCKING COMPLICATED.
Allen: LIKE WHAT?
LIKE JOAN.
WHAT'S COMPLICATED ABOUT IT? YOU HAVE THE HOTS FOR HER.
THAT'S AS BASIC AS IT GETS. THAT'S FUNDAMENTAL CHEMISTRY.
BILL'S WHAT MAKES IT COMPLICATED.
OH! YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE ACTING UNDULY INHIBITED.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW, AL?
YOU NEVER COVETED A BUDDY'S WIFE BEFORE.
I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE SITUATIONS THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
IT'S THE SAME THING.
I'M JUST TRYING TO THINK ABOUT WHAT IT'D BE LIKE IF I STAYED WITH HER.
I MEAN, IT'S GREAT NOW, BUT IF WE'D STAYED TOGETHER,
WOULD IT STAY GREAT? YOU KNOW?
AND THOSE KIDS.
WELL, JOAN TAKES CARE OF THE KIDS.
YEAH, WITH BILL'S ALLOWANCE MONEY.
THAT'S LESS THAN YOU MAKE AT U.P.I.
SHE LOVES BILL, THOUGH.
BUT HE'S WORN HER OUT.
I GOT A GIRLFRIEND BACK IN THE CITY ANYWAY.
IT DOESN'T MATTER. WELL, LU, WHAT IS THE DEAL?
ARE YOU TRYING TO TALK YOURSELF INTO SOMETHING OR OUT OF IT?
I DON'T KNOW. UH...
Lucien: HEY. THERE'S MY BATHING BEAUTY.
YOUR WORN-OUT BATHING BEAUTY.
JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
THAT'S ALL.
DON'T BE BORING.
YOU WANT TO GO FOR A SWIM?
YEAH.
Joan: COME ON, ALLEN.
MM. GO AHEAD.
YOU TOO WORN OUT?
[CHUCKLES CRYPTICALLY]
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
STRONG CURRENT.
NO. I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD DO THAT.
SO, WHERE DO YOU THINK THE PACIFIC IS?
I DON'T KNOW. WE COULD FLOAT...
JUST FLOAT AND FLOAT AWAY...
AND FIND OUT...
AND DROWN OUR SORROWS.
YOU NEVER KNOW.
I'M GONNA STEP OUT.
JOAN?
JOAN!
Allen: WHAT HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW. I GOT TIRED, SO I GOT OUT.
SHE WANTED TO FLOW WITH THE FUCKING CURRENT.
JOAN! CAN SHE SWIM?
I DON'T KNOW. IF SHE WANTS.
JOAN?
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT HER ALONE!
I DIDN'T LEAVE HER. YOU GOT OUT OF THE WATER, DIDN'T YOU?
I DIDN'T LEAVE HER!
JOAN? [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
JOAN!
FUCK!
JOAN!
JOAN? WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOIN'?
I'M STARING INTO THE ABYSS.
HONEY...
IF YOU STARE INTO THE ABYSS LONG ENOUGH,
IT STARES BACK INTO YOU.
OH, IT HAS.
[TWIG SNAPS]
IT HAS.
[INSECTS BUZZING, NIGHT BIRDS SCREECHING]
[FROGS CROAKING]
NOTHIN' IS SIMPLE WITH YOU AND I.
WE'RE BOTH DOOMED.
HOW AM I DOOMED?
DAVE'S GHOST.
WHAT'S YOUR DOOM?
MAYBE YOU ARE.
WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK TO NEW YORK?
COME BACK HOW?
YOU CAN COME BACK WITH US.
WITH ME.
I CAN'T LEAVE BILL.
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
WILL YOU KISS ME?
STOP. STOP. STOP.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHY KEEP KISSING?
HAVE YOU RECONSIDERED?
SLEEPING WITH YOU?
NO. NEW YORK.
IT'S NOT REALISTIC.
WE'RE BOTH LUCKLESS.
I'M FAITHFUL, AND YOU'RE...TOO FAITHLESS.
WHAT ABOUT WILLY?
RUNNING OFF INTO THE JUNGLE
WITH ANOTHER LITTLE BOYFRIEND?
THAT'S NOT EXACTLY FAITHFUL.
WILLY ALWAYS COMES BACK.
AND AT THE END OF THE ROAD...
WHAT ABOUT-- WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO-- WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?
THE OLD GANG. IT'LL BE KICKS.
YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE WELL IN NEW YORK.
ARE YOU READY FOR ME AND MY CHILDREN?
ARE YOU READY FOR THAT?
ARE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHING] MMHH...
DOES THAT BOTHER YOU?
NO. NOT TOO MUCH.
YOU SEEMED LIKE...
YOU LIKED IT BEFORE.
OH-- OH, IT WAS ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S-- WHAT'S WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS?
WHAT ARE YOU FISHIN' AROUND FOR?
NOTHING. I'M JUST TRYIN' TO BE PERSONABLE...
AFFECTIONATE.
[SNICKERING] AFFECTIONATE.
SAVE THE AFFECTION FOR YOUR KIDS.
MAYBE... YOUR WIFE WOULD LIKE SOME, TOO.
JOANIE HAS MY AFFECTION.
IF YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE SO MUCH...
THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE WITH ME?
LOVE IS NOT SEX.
I NEVER REALIZED HOW BORING IT IS...
TO DRIVE BACK SOMEPLACE...
MILE AFTER MILE...
JUST TO GET BACK TO WHERE YOU STARTED FROM.
HEY!
HEY, YOU. OOH!
MMM! MMM-UHH.
WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?
UPSTAIRS.
HE'S UPSTAIRS?
IS YOUR DADDY BACK?
NO.
HE'S NOT?
WILL YOU GET BILLY FOR ME?
GO GET YOUR BROTHER.
OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
ALL THE WAY TO MEXICO, AND NO WILLY.
I THINK HE'S AVOIDING US.
YEAH.
WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON.
WELL, IT'S, UH, A LONG WAY BACK TO THE APPLE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT COMIN' WITH US.
[SIGHS]
YOU WANNA-- YOU WANNA GET BACK IN THE CAR?
IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
GRAB THE KIDS... JUMP IN YOUR CAR?
SURE.
JUST, UH...
WE COULD JUST LEAVE BILL A NOTE?
DEAR BILL, TAKEN THE KIDS,
GONE TO NEW YORK. ADIOS, MUCHACHO.
WHY NOT? CAR'S RIGHT THERE.
I'LL LOAN YOU A PIECE OF PAPER FOR THE NOTE.
NO.
THINK ABOUT NEW YORK.
I WILL.
PROMISE?
ALL THE TIME.
Allen: SMILE.
[SHUTTER SNAPS]
SEE YA.
I WOULD SAY... DRIVE CAREFULLY,
BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO APPLY, SO...
DRIVE CARELESSLY. YOU KNOW...WITHOUT A CARE.
[MOODY, MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYS]
SHE'S SO FUCKING EXCITING.
I TRIED TO GET HER TO COME BACK.
HOW HARD DID YOU TRY?
I TRIED.
I FUCKING TRIED. I DID.
SHE LOVES BILL.
SHE'S GOT THOSE 2 KIDS.
IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S FREE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YOU WANT ABSOLUTION?
STOP AT A FUCKING CHURCH.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I SHOULD'VE JUST GRABBED HER AND THOSE KIDS
AND THROWN 'EM IN THE BACKSEAT.
SO TURN AROUND.
SHE THINKS I'M DOOMED.
WHAT CAN I SAY?
HELLO, JOANIE.
HELLO.
YOU MISSED ALLEN AND LUCIEN.
OH, WHAT A PITY.
HOW WAS THEIR VISIT?
WE WENT TO THE VOLCANO IN PARICUTIN.
OH.
YES.
AND HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?
EVERYTHING ABOUT GUATEMALA WAS NASTY AND UNRELIABLE.
AT THE END OF THE ROAD, THERE WAS ONLY MUD AND MOSQUITOES...
AND A MAD DOCTOR.
AND HOW WAS YOUR PRETTY BOY?
LEE WAS PARSIMONIOUS IN DISPENSING HIS FAVORS.
HE WAS NICE TO PAPA TWICE A WEEK
ONLY BECAUSE I WAS FOOTING THE BILL.
HE WAS FAR MORE LAWYERLY THAN LUSTFUL.
HE CRIED "BREACH OF CONTRACT"
EVERY TIME I ASKED FOR SOMETHING MORE.
I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD YOUR TASTE IN MEN.
[CHUCKLES]
AND I YOURS.
DID YOU PAY THE RENT?
WITH WHAT?
MY ALLOWANCE DOES NOT COME IN UNTIL THE 15th.
WELL, THAT MUST CRIMP YOUR STYLE AS A SUGAR DADDY.
PERHAPS YOUR PARAMOUR THINKS YOU'RE IMPECUNIOUS.
CUANTO DINERO
TO BE NICE TO PAPA TWICE A WEEK?
I ENJOYED SEEING ALLEN...
AND LUCIEN.
I ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH.
ARE YOU...
LEAVING ME?
SHOULD I?
AS YOU LIKE.
I MAY... JUST GO BACK TO NEW YORK.
LUCIEN IS A TOURIST.
YOU ARE AN AZTEC PYRAMID...
LOCAL COLOR.
WHAT ARE YOU?
A SCORPION SLITHERING ACROSS YOUR CRUMBLING STEPS.
WE REALLY DO NEED MONEY.
WE NEED FOOD.
YES.
AND GIN.
FINE.
I WILL SELL A GUN.
CHEERS.
FUCKING LUCK.
NO, OUR LUCK'S BEEN GOOD.
DON'T BE PERVERSE. ALL RIGHT?
NO, THINK ABOUT IT. NEW YORK, MEXICO CITY, BACK TO TEXAS?
OUR DEAR CHARIOT'S BEEN FLAWLESS.
YEAH, UNTIL NOW.
THE KARMIC WHEEL'S TURNED, MY FRIEND.
NO, THE KARMIC WHEEL HAS STOPPED, AL.
IT'S ALL THE SAME THING. YOU KNOW, AS BILL SAYS,
BETTER GET COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR SPACE-TIME LOCATION.
THIS IS NOT MY SPACE-TIME LOCATION.
IT'S FUCKIN' NOWHERE, MAN.
[MARIACHIS SINGING DISTANTLY]
YEAH.
YEAH, I REMEMBER TRYIN' THIS GUN.
IT'S A DOG, BILL.
YES, WELL, I DON'T LIKE IT MUCH, EITHER,
BUT IT IS AN AUTOMATIC,
AND IT'S WORTH 400 PESOS.
[CHUCKLES] MAYBE NOT THAT MUCH.
BUT I THINK I KNOW A BUYER.
WHY DON'T YOU BRING IT OVER TO MY PLACE TOMORROW NIGHT?
THANK YOU, HEARD.
IT'S IN MY SELF-INTEREST, BILL.
YOU NEED DRINKING MONEY.
YES.
[CASH REGISTER RINGS]
HOLA. HOLA.
CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK, SIR?
WITH WHAT?
CREDIT.
BILL...WHY DON'T YOU SELL THE GUN FIRST
AND THEN START STANDING ROUNDS?
SO, WHAT CAN I GET YA?
TEQUILA, POR FAVOR.
[DRUNKENLY] ♪ ADIOS... ♪
♪ MUCHACHOS ♪
♪ COMPAÑEROS ♪
♪ ADIOS ♪
♪ MUCHACHOS ♪
♪ COMPAÑEROS ♪
♪ ADIOS... ♪
OHHH...
I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU BACK TONIGHT.
LOVE'S LABOR'S LOST.
BILL, I DON'T WANT MUCH FROM YOU.
I JUST WANT YOUR ARMS AROUND ME SOMETIMES.
[DEEP SIGH]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
HERE'S THE KEYS.
ALL RIGHT?
I'LL SEND YOU BACK A TRUCK.
AND, UM... HERE'S SOME MONEY.
THERE YOU GO. THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.
ALL RIGHT. HERE. TAKE IT.
IF YOU NEED MORE, I'LL WIRE IT BACK TO YOU FROM THE CITY. ALL RIGHT?
YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN.
DOING WHAT AGAIN?
ABANDONING.
MAN, DON'T BE A QUEEN.
WHO KNOWS HOW LONG IT'S GONNA TAKE TO FIX THE DEAR OLD CHARIOT?
I GOTTA GET BACK TO MY JOB.
ABANDONING.
LOOK, MAN, I RECOGNIZE MY SPACE-TIME LOCATION.
I TRULY DO. IT'S NOT HERE.
[HORN HONKS]
SEE YOU BACK IN THE CITY?
[CROW CAWS]
[TYPING]
[AIR PISTOL DISCHARGES]
I HAD A STRANGE DREAM LAST NIGHT.
I DREAMT I GAVE BIRTH TO A LARGE SPIDER.
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT MEANS?
WELL...THE FREUDIAN INTERPRETATION WOULD BE
THAT I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MY FATHER.
SAY, BILL, DOES THE OEDIPAL COMPLEX GET REVERSED FOR FAGS?
[CHUCKLES]
WELL, SPEAKING FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE...
I NEVER WANTED TO FUCK MY FATHER.
MMHH.
[WHISTLE TOOTS]
THE KNIFE SHARPENER'S HERE.
JOANIE, LOOK.
AN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS BOY SCOUT KNIFE.
[CHUCKLES]
LUCIEN USED TO HAVE A KNIFE LIKE THAT.
HE USED TO OPEN WINE BOTTLES WITH IT.
[WHISTLE TOOTS]
I THINK I'LL GO GET THE KNIFE SHARPENED.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
¿ESTA BIEN, SEÑOR?
SI.
[MACHINERY SQUEAKING]
[KNIFE GRINDING]
Heard: BILL. COME IN.
HELLO, HEARD.
HEY.
Heard: JOAN.
HELLO.
Heard: GOOD. I SEE YOU GOT THE GUN.
YES. LEE.
HELLO.
SO. IS THE BUYER HERE?
DEPENDS ON WHO'S BUYIN' WHAT.
JOANIE, YOU KNOW LEE.
BY REPUTATION.
LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHERE MARV IS,
BUT I GOTTA GO TEND BAR.
DWIGHT, YOU KNOW MARV, RIGHT?
YEAH, SURE THING. WE WERE STATIONED IN GERMANY TOGETHER.
ALL RIGHT. BILL, YOU GONNA BE OK?
LIKE A PIG IN A TROUGH.
HEARD, YOU GO DOWN AND TEND TO THE BAR,
AND I WILL COME DOWN WITH YOUR COMMISSION
AS SOON AS I HAVE NEGOTIATED THE SWINDLE.
PERFECT.
SWINDLE?
[DOOR CLOSES]
MARV'S A STAND-UP GUY.
IT IS A FAIR GUN FOR A FAIR PRICE.
I LIVE MY LIFE BY THE BOY SCOUT CODE.
I KNOW MY GUNS.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE BOY SCOUT MOTTO,
WISENHEIMER.
[CHUCKLES]
YES.
BE...PREPARED.
[SIGHS DISGUSTEDLY]
WERE YOU A BOY SCOUT, LEE?
UH, NO, I WAS NEVER A BOY SCOUT.
OH, REALLY? WELL, THEN BILL HERE
COULD TEACH YOU KNOT TYING.
OR WRESTLING HOLDS,
IF HE HASN'T ALREADY.
DIDN'T YOU TWO BONE UP ON YOUR WILDERNESS LORE
DOWN THERE IN THE JUNGLE?
THE JUNGLE WAS FUCKING GHASTLY.
UH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THE-- THE JUNGLE WAS GHASTLY,
OR THE FUCKING WAS GHASTLY...OR BOTH?
JOANIE.
I LOVE TRAVEL STORIES,
ESPECIALLY GHASTLY FUCKING ONES.
Dwight: YOU'VE GOT SOME MOUTH ON YOU, MRS. BURROUGHS.
OH, DWIGHT, NOT COMPARED TO SOME OTHER MOUTHS.
AND WHERE THOSE MOUTHS HAVE BEEN.
[SIGHS]
WELL.
[POURS DRINK]
WELL.
I AM SO...
BORED.
WELL, THEN, MY DEAR...
WHY DON'T WE SHOW THE BOYS HERE
OUR WILLIAM TELL ACT?
OK, BILL.
LET'S SHOW THEM OUR LITTLE PARLOR TRICK, SHALL WE?
HA HA HA HA HA!
[CHUCKLES]
I DARE YOU.
[BODY FALLS, GLASS CLATTERS]
JOANIE!
Lee: I'LL, UH, GO GET THAT MEDICAL STUDENT WHO LIVES ON THE ROOF.
Dwight: I'LL CALL AN AMBULANCE.
JOANIE! SHE'S GONNA BE FINE!
COME ON. COME ON.
[BREATHING FRANTICALLY]
[SOBS]
HELP!
[SOBBING] OH...GOD.
COME ON. SIT UP.
HEY, YOU. COME ON.
[SOBBING]
AAAHHH!
[INDISTINCT UTTERINGS]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[TYPEWRITERS CLACKING]
[CHATTER]
HEY, CARR. YEAH?
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT FRIEND OF YOURS
DOWN IN MEXICO? THE ONE YOU JUST VISITED?
BURROUGHS. WHY?
BAD NEWS, I THINK.
THIS JUST CAME OVER THE WIRE.
Joanie, softly: I DARE YOU.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
♪♪
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
♪♪