Cock-a-doodle-doo!
(SNEEZES)
Oh! Gosh, the feathers...
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
Worst chicken we ever had.
That's rooster. It's a rooster.
(SNEEZES)
Cock-a-doodle... Forget it.
(SIGHS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Hey, Ms. Banfield. Sorry I'm late.
I've been looking for Camie Poole. Have you seen her go inside?
I'm sorry. Are you a new student here at Brewster High?
You're kidding, right? I'm in your biology class.
I'm Pete. I'm Pete Ivey.
(SNEEZES)
What's up, Pete? Hi, Ms. Banfield.
So you know this young man, Cleatus?
He was just inquiring as to the whereabouts of your sister.
Pete was?
He's trying to find Camie so he can ask her out, finally.
How did you know that?
Dude, I'm your best friend.
I pay attention to your neurotic ramblings.
Here we are. Pete Ivey, check.
-Thank you. -Okay.
(SNEEZES)
(EXCLAIMING)
Is that brain?
Tommy Thompson, testing, one, two, three.
Brewster Basketball. Welcome.
Hey, Poole, you better get your tail feathers out on the court.
(CHUCKLING)
Tail feathers. That's a funny one, Skylar.
SKYLAR: Thank you.
CHEERLEADER 1: Come on, Roosters! Let's go!
-CHEERLEADER 2: Come on, boys! -CHEERLEADER 3: Let's do it, guys!
Camie! Hey! Hey.
Ready? Okay!
(SINGING) Roll them in the muck
Cluck, cluck, cluck Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Hey, Jamie. What up?
Beat it, Poole. You're gross.
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Seriously, leave or I'll have the wrestling team hurt you again.
Okay. All right. So I will see you later.
-Hey, sis. How's it... -Move it, Poole!
POOLE: Ouch!
(SNEEZES)
Camie! Hey.
-Hey, Pete. What are you doing here? -Hi.
(STAMMERING) Me? I'm... Well, I'm here 'cause...
Well, I had something that I wanted to tell you.
Well, it's kind of more of a question.
Okay, shoot. I'm just... I'm kind of in a hurry.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I was wondering if...
-If you would... If you... If you'd go... -If you would...
(SCOFFING)
Who is this guy? Does he even go to this school?
That's just Pete. He's my brother's best friend.
Don't care.
(KISSING)
(EXHALING) I'm gonna score 20 points today for you, sweet thing.
(GIGGLING)
Bye-bye, Pete.
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING) See you.
(EXHALES)
-Isn't Dill awesome? -Yeah.
Yeah, Dill is the awesomest.
All right. Well, I'll see you at the game.
See you at the game.
Loser.
PETE: Had enough yet? Let's get out of here.
(POOLE SIGHS)
(SNEEZES)
(CHEERLEADERS CHANTING)
What up, Coach?
Jam, take the gum out. Let's go. Get in here.
Jam, tie your shoes. Let's get it in here. Come on!
So, Pete, how'd it go with my sister?
I dry-heaved.
Ball, please. Thank you.
Okay, we have a simple goal for tonight, okay?
We're gonna score more than seven points.
And Camie seems to really enjoy kissing Dill.
Yeah, Pete. I could have told you that.
Dude's always over at my house.
You know, I think he's stealing my mini cologne samples.
Why didn't you tell me your sister was dating
the captain of the basketball team?
Pete! Chill, dude. Listen, I'll level with you.
Okay, I didn't tell you about Dill because...
Because I wanted you to grow, man.
Experience new things.
I mean, just building the courage to choke out a few words to my sister,
that took guts. Major guts, man.
I'm really proud of you.
Really?
Thanks, Poole. I really appreciate that.
(LAUGHING) Dude! I'm just messing with you, dude. It slipped my mind.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(POOLE SNEEZES)
Hey, son.
Hey, Dad.
What's wrong, son? You look a little down.
Yeah. Just got some things going on.
Woman trouble?
Well, yeah.
I kind of missed my chance with a girl I like.
Got beat to the punch, huh?
By the captain of the basketball team.
The thing is, Pete, if you want to get noticed by girls,
you gotta give them something to notice.
Like when you were a kid, you were into gymnastics.
That got you noticed.
Yeah. Everyone thought I was weird.
Okay, bad example.
But see, my point is, this guy plays basketball.
That gets noticed.
Your mother didn't even know I existed until I did something bold.
I got a motorcycle.
And pulling out of the dealership, he rode off the sidewalk and fell over.
I have poor balance, okay?
(STIFLED GIGGLE)
Your father broke nearly every bone in his body.
Shake a tail feather. We got 45 minutes to tip-off.
Come on, Pete.
-I'm not going to the game. -What did your son just say?
PETE: Why bother?
Brewster hasn't won a game since, like, early last season.
Pete, if this is some sort of teenage acting-out-against-your-parents,
we kindly ask you to leave Rooster Nation out of it.
Yes. Hello, Cleatus.
Hola, Leon.
(SNEEZES)
Oh.
LEON: Sounds like you got a cold.
It's allergies, but that's a strong guess.
Doris, what's up?
Our names haven't changed, Cleatus. We're still Mr. and Mrs. Ivey to you.
-That's right. -Hey, wait a minute.
Shouldn't you be heading to the game by now?
Yes. Yes, I should.
Well, come on, Roosters. Let's cock-a-doodle-do-it!
We're gonna go do that.
-That's where we're going. -Poole, what's up?
-Dude, I need you to do me a solid. -Okay.
Yeah, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and be the chicken tonight at the game,
-and I need to borrow, like, 500 bucks. -What? No!
I thought you said that you were my best friend.
Okay, no worries about the money,
and no hard feelings about filling in for me today. Thanks!
I'm not gonna be the chicken. What is going on?
Pete, this isn't easy for me to admit, okay?
Okay.
I'm dying.
(STIFLED GIGGLE)
-You're not serious? -Yes, Pete, I'm serious.
I'm dying inside of this foam chicken head.
-You idiot. -Dude, it's my allergies, man. Okay?
They've never been this bad.
I mean, Principal Daly got a new chicken head for my costume.
(SNEEZES)
He thought that the bright new colors would boost school spirit,
-and I mean, it's a fine plan, right? -Yeah.
I mean, I'm probably gonna be the first person in history
to sneeze to death.
Well, then quit. You hate being the chicken.
Pete, you know I can't do that, okay? It's my family legacy.
-Don't go for the wallet, all right. -Yes, I'm going for the wallet, Pete.
-Poole, I've seen this... -Pete, you made me do it.
Me. My dad.
My uncle.
My other uncle.
I think that's my aunt. My granddad.
Pete, you're gonna have to do this for the grandkids.
Poole, I don't even know what makes you think I can be the chicken.
I practically blacked out saying "hi" to your sister.
Okay, Pete. You know what? That's a sound argument.
I really don't want to get into it.
Maybe I came and asked the wrong guy.
Okay, Pete, if you don't want to do it, I guess I'll just go talk to Keith Burke.
You know, he said he would pay me to let him wear the chicken suit.
I mean, the guy knows it's a chick magnet.
-Wait. Wait a second. -No, Pete, that's too bad, you know.
I was even gonna offer to put in a good word to Camie for you.
You know, her and Dill are barely hanging on by a thread.
-Are you serious? -Yeah.
And I know little sis listens to big bro.
I mean, come on, Pete.
You know, I was gonna say a few choice words on your behalf.
Just think about that. Pete and Camie?
Whew! That's catchy.
Now it's gonna be the Burkemeister and Camie.
It's tragic.
Well, Poole, I mean, I don't even... I don't know the routine.
Pete. Here's the routine. You walk around, you flap your wings,
make sure to get in all the school yearbook pictures.
Dude, I don't know, I'm an awful mascot.
Man...
Listen, I heard at Mascot Camp,
they make a hypoallergenic head for like 1,000 bucks.
Dude, I'll look into that, but for now, can you hook a buddy up?
You know, Poole, it's not exactly my thing
to make a clown out of myself in public.
I usually leave that to you.
I mean, what if somebody finds out it's me?
Pete. Dude, I need this to be a secret more than you do.
Man...
(EXHALES)
Come on, man.
TOMMY: Yes, Rooster fans, another big game today,
as the Armadillos, 18 wins and two losses,
take on your own Raging Roosters, who are zero for 20.
It's gonna be tough for the Roosters to beat a team of this caliber.
And here we go.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
CHEERLEADER: Ready? Okay!
(SINGING) Roll them in the muck Cluck, cluck, cluck
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Roll them in the muck Cluck, cluck, cluck
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
So we gonna beat those Armadillos tonight?
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
(ALL WHOOPING)
Let's go, Roosters!
I still got it.
You were the best chicken we ever had, Jack.
You know, I think my boy Cleatus has got what it takes
to outshine even me.
COACH: I'm not a loser. I'm not a loser. I am not a...
Coach, Coach, we're on air.
Oh.
TOMMY: To tip-off we go.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
And the ball is controlled by the Armadillos down court.
Armadillos score!
I'm open.
TOMMY: And it's picked off.
COACH: No! No! You can't...
How many times do I have to say no, Jam?
The worst team in the entire state!
Hey, put me in! I can win a jump ball.
(IMITATES ROOSTER CLUCKING)
That's right, Dill-Pickle. I'm talking to you.
I told you Jam can't inbound. I should just inbound to myself.
Okay, Dill, inbound to yourself.
Come on. Let's go, guys.
TOMMY: It's taken away again by the Armadillos.
Not again. Please don't. Don't.
Another score by the Armadillos.
-FAN: Come on! -Dill, live up to your hair, okay?
If I had hair like that, there's no telling what I could do.
(GRUNTS)
Man.
(SINGING) Roll them in the muck
COACH: Come on, back on D! Back on D! Back on D!
Back on D! Back on D! Back on D!
Okay, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
That means you stop them from scoring.
All right, let's get this over with.
Nobody knows it's me. Just walk around,
flap your wings, be generally annoying like Poole for a couple of hours
and go home.
(GRUNTS)
Stupid tail.
Oh, oh!
What's up? All right, here we go.
Hey, it's the chicken. That's my boy.
DORIS: He looks good. PETE: Get this over with.
Go, Dill!
This one's for you, baby.
TOMMY: No! It's taken away again.
Smooth, Dill.
Okay, let's go. Here, let's go. Come on, come on. There we go.
Back on defense. Getting tired? I am, just watching.
Let's go, Roosters!
(SINGING) Cock-a-doodle-do-it!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GROANING)
Yeah, very funny.
Ouch, these people are harsh.
There you go.
-Go. -Okay, Jam, pass the ball.
Pass the ball. Pass the ball...
Time out, please? Thank you.
(LAUGHING)
All right!
Forget it.
Sorry, Poole, I'm out of here. I still got a little pride left.
All right, Roosters!
(ALL LAUGHING)
-I hope Cleatus is all right. -He's fine. He's all right.
He's got padding under those feathers, right?
JACK: Well, no, no.
The school didn't spring for the deluxe model with the butt pads.
So... Hey! You're okay, son. Shake it off. Let's go.
Okay.
(SINGING) It's all right, it's okay We're gonna rule the roost someday
What happened?
Oh.
Ready? Okay!
(SINGING) It's all right, it's okay We're gonna be on you someday
It's all right, it's okay
I'm giving them something to notice.
...it's okay
Finally got your attention, okay. Keep watching.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(CLUCKING)
-That's funny. -Look at that!
(LAUGHING)
Go, Roosters!
COACH: Come on. Go deep. Go deep. Go deep! Come on!
There we go. There we go. No, no, no!
That's the third time they've done that to you.
Third time! Let's go. Free.
(LAUGHING)
Free.
Here we go again. Go ahead.
Just go ahead. Come on. Get back. Get back!
Come on. Back, back, back, back, back, back! Come on!
Yeah!
See that?
Poole.
(CLUCKING)
Poole. Just... Okay.
Don't. Just stop. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
Okay? Okay, that's it. That's it.
Get off the court.
-What? What? -Technical foul.
What? Did you see the chicken was on the...
-You're out of here! -Come on.
-Oh, my God! -There's a giant chicken...
-You're out of here. You're out of here. -Come on. That's ridiculous.
(CLUCKING RHYTHMICALLY)
-Pete. -Hey.
-How'd it go? -Good, I guess.
You might want to dry clean the chicken. I fell a lot.
(SNEEZES)
I guess dry cleaning expenses can be on me.
Yeah.
Okay, thanks, Pete,
and rest assured, Operation "Make Camie Fall in Love with Pete"
will commence tonight.
-All right. Just keep me posted. -All right, man.
-Good night. -Good night.
Hey, Pete? Thanks.
I know you must have hated being the chicken.
(BELL RINGING)
So, Pete, the chicken went good.
-Nice one, Poole. -Wasn't so bad.
-Hey, Poole. -Hi.
-Good work, chicken. -Thanks.
-Whoa, dude. -Good job, man.
I guess the game went good, huh?
Yeah, yeah. You know, I think it went all right.
I want Poole expelled. He's a menace!
Hanging from the girders, teasing the officials.
It's not funny and it's not safe. He made a mockery of the team.
Seems to me, the team did a pretty good job of that all by itself.
(LAUGHS)
That's nice, Fred. That's great. Thank you for that.
You know, I would never say something like that to you.
I'm sorry, Coach. I'm sorry,
but your team is just not good.
Now, I don't know whether it's because the athletes are all horrible
or because you need more practice being a coach, but...
Well, let me put it this way.
Right now, that chicken has greater job security than you do.
(SIGHS)
(STIFLED SOBS)
(CLEARING THROAT)
What up, fellas? Good game Friday night.
Wow, Poole, you got some guts.
-Right, boys? -Thanks, Dill.
Guts kind of runs in the family.
They actually call my grandpa "Grandpa Guts."
Well, you might want to consider a new career path,
because this one goes straight to the frying pan.
That's funny, Dill. Frying pan.
Fried chicken, I get it. Do you get it?
Yes, Floyd. I get it.
And I'll be going now.
Freeze!
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go.
DILL: But, Coach...
He made people laugh at us. They belittled us and you.
That's his job. He's a mascot.
One feather on his scrawny little head gets touched,
you go three rounds with me. Comprende?
(REPEATS IN SPANISH)
Understand.
(GRUNTS)
Yeah, knew that was gonna happen.
Thanks, Coach.
You know, I feel like they were channeling their anger at me
instead of each other. That's just my theory.
-I don't like you, Poole. -Huh?
-I don't like the chicken, get it? -Okay.
I wish I could cut those boys loose,
play patty cake with your face, but I'd lose my job,
and that is the only reason you are still upright.
What did I do that was so bad?
Don't play dumb with me, mop-top.
You know what you did out on that court,
and let's just say some feelings were hurt.
And hurt feelings stink.
(COACH SOBBING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(GIGGLING)
You were so funny Friday night.
I will never have a wrestler beat you up again.
(EXCLAIMS)
(CLEARING THROAT)
Well, it is only fitting that we have our chicken present
when we talk about the Rooster Day celebration.
Now, I need two volunteers from this class to be on the float committee.
Come on, citizens. Pete Ivey.
Hey, Pete, what about you?
This could be a great way to make a name for yourself.
Think about it.
I'll volunteer, Ms. Banfield.
That would be wonderful, Angela.
So then, it is Angela Morrissey and Pete Ivey on the float committee.
The two new kids in school. That is perfect.
I didn't realize you were a new kid in school.
-I'm not. She... -Save it for the float committee.
Okay.
POOLE: Okay, all right, guys. One more time.
Cock-a-doodle-doo! Power to the poultry, right? All right.
Yo, Pete! Sorry, guys, I gotta run, but there will be another show later.
-When, later? -Huh?
How about later after school? You and me.
-So, what do you say? -Yes, please.
Okay, did everybody see that?
Okay, everyone. Let's get started.
Sorry I'm late. I just got lost again.
You know, there's just so much you gotta learn with a new school.
Put a dollar in the late jar.
Good, so we have Bob's uncle's tractor to pull the float. Check.
Let's see, what else?
-The next order of business... -Here.
SUSIE: ...a design for the float.
-I got you. -Thanks. I'll pay you back.
Maybe we can build a big rocket ship and paint something on it, like,
I don't know, "Go Roosters."
Really? A rocket ship?
That's the best you got? Rocket ship?
-I'm out of here. Good luck without me. -It was just my first idea.
-What else you got? -Space shuttle.
Hey, listen up. Angela's got an idea.
Well, I don't... I don't want to be pushy or anything.
No, hey, it's wide open. Help us out, come on.
Uh...
Well, um...
Okay, well, it seems to me like everyone likes the chicken.
So why don't we try to use him somehow?
-I like it. -SUSIE: Any specific idea?
Put the chicken on a rocket ship.
(SIGHING) Anyone besides Bob got an idea?
(GIGGLING)
-Angela. Angela. Hey. -Hey.
Hey, your idea was awesome in there.
-Thanks. -Yeah.
You're Peter, right?
Yeah, Pete. Pete's the name.
Don't worry. I'll definitely give you your dollar back tomorrow.
Keep it. I got, like, 20 more where that came from.
(CHUCKLING)
Good. Good.
Hey, you want a ride home? My car's just right there.
No. No, thanks. I'm gonna walk.
It's kind of my exercise for the day. But thanks. Really.
I like to walk. Yeah, good for the lungs, right?
-Yes. That it is. -I'll walk with you.
-Don't you have a car? -Well, yeah.
Yeah, but it's so bad
-for the environment and stuff. -Right.
I was thinking about donating it to, like, a foundation.
-Oh. Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
Well, my boyfriend back in Houston, he volunteers for a nursing home.
They're always looking for donations.
Well, I will strongly consider donating my car to your boyfriend.
-Cool. -Yup.
Well, I better go. So, bye, Pete.
Bye.
-Poultry in motion! Right? -Cleatus!
(GIGGLING)
POOLE: Cock-a-doodle-doo!
(SPORTS PLAYING ON TV)
-I'm not hungry, Mom. -Yeah.
-Poole? What are you doing here? -What's up?
Listen, partner, we gotta talk.
I need to know what you did at the game Friday.
-I don't know, I just improvised. -Improvised?
Like how, Pete? I mean, did you use props, catch phrases?
Can you please just give me some details?
I don't know.
I followed the coach around a little bit. I made fun of him.
That explains a lot.
I got in the other team's huddle. That got a big laugh.
Pete, you do realize that you broke all of the mascot rules, right?
I'm sorry. I just went with it.
-I've never acted like that before. -It's cool, man. I really don't care.
The important thing is, I might be kissing Jamie Wynn by week's end.
Yeah. All 'cause of me.
Don't think that this is going unrewarded, okay?
I mean, Camie was just asking about you.
Whatever. Camie's not into me.
Oh, really?
Why'd she ask if you get sweaty palms when you hold hands with a girl?
Why'd she ask that, Pete?
-Really? -Mmm-hmm.
What did you say?
I mean, I do sometimes, but it depends.
No, man, I'm just kidding.
She actually hasn't asked that yet.
But, Pete, I'm prepared to defend all of your flaws.
Okay, here's the deal. I need you to teach me the routine.
All I remember is everybody was staring at me and then...
I don't know, something clicked.
Clicked? Pete, I need specifics.
You realize that I will probably never be this popular again in my life?
I know. Even Angela Morrissey's a fan.
-Morrissey's a fan? -Yeah.
Sweet.
Okay, Pete. What is it?
I mean, you want to be a friend? A best friend?
'Cause that's what I'm telling people that we are.
(SIGHING) All right, I'll show you some moves.
Perfect.
Oh, my goodness. Pete? I'm a genius.
You're gonna be the chicken tomorrow,
and I'll be in the stands watching you do what you do.
-And you can count it. -That'll work.
People see you in the stands, they know you're not in the suit.
Pete, I'm not stupid, man. That base will be covered.
Poole.
Your helmet's backwards.
-I knew my helmet was backwards. -Just looking out for you.
It's gonna be fine, Pete. Okay?
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
Okay, Chicklets, it's a whole new ballgame!
Now, let's get out there
and show those Dolphins what Roosters are made of!
Feathers and a beak!
(WHOOPS)
Okay. Put your hands in here.
(ALL CLUCKING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
TOMMY: And it's the chicken.
Okay. Let's go.
Way to start strong! I like where your head's at!
Got a good feeling about today.
Yeah, the Dill! Go, Dill!
Dill, ball!
Hello, here. Tommy Thompson with Brewster Basketball.
14 and four, Dolphins coming in
to play your very own Raging Roosters, who are zero...
Okay, let's bring it in. Let's go.
...for 21 in the loss column.
Okay, guys. Ready? Defense, take care of the ball.
Hands in. Here we go.
(ALL CLUCKING)
(CLUCKING)
(CROWD LAUGHING)
(ALL CLUCKING)
Roosters!
TOMMY: And to the opening tip-off.
The game's underway down court and it's by the Dolphins.
Okay, that's okay!
-Come on, Roosters! -Come on, Roosters!
Let's go!
Roosters! You can do it!
Let's go, boys!
I'm going all the way.
-Go! Go! Go! Go! -Go! Go! Go! Go!
-Head up! Watch out! Watch out! -He's...
Dill, head up!
(SCREAMING)
Come on, Coach.
They just scored two baskets while you're flirting with the chicken.
Get out there. They need some coaching.
That's my chicken.
Get off!
(PETE CLUCKING)
-He started it. -I don't care who started it. Go!
Whatever.
Time out! Get in here.
-REFEREE: Time out! -In here!
You... And you, just try to...
And you, I just get...
(MUTTERING INCOHERENTLY)
(ALL CLUCKING)
Roosters!
Way to go, boys! Hi, Cleatus!
Hi, Cleatus.
Angela Morrissey, you're looking cuter every day.
Come here!
(CLUCKING)
Go, go, go, go, go!
Yes! That's exactly what I meant!
Hey! That's my chicken!
Cleatus. Cleatus. Cleatus. Cleatus.
(GIGGLING) Okay. Okay.
Cleatus, are you crazy? What are you doing?
(CLUCKING)
It was sweet of you to pick me to run away with.
(CLUCKS)
-Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! -Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
I think your fans are calling.
(CLUCKING)
Um... Well, I should get back to my cheering.
Well, thank you.
Pete! Dude, you were amazing!
You know, now I know why everybody loves me.
Anyways, I gotta run. I got a date with Jamie.
-Isn't this great? -Yeah, for you.
Everyone still thinks you're the chicken.
I'm just boring old Pete Ivey.
Monday morning, I'm gonna be the kid in the back of the room nobody knows.
Okay, Pete. I mean, maybe you're right.
You should be getting more out of this than all the groundwork
I've been laying down with my sister.
Trust me, Pete.
-Dude, she's coming around. -I'm sure she is.
Here's what we're gonna do.
You're gonna be the chicken full-time. All right.
What do... What do you mean, full-time?
Well, what about that allergy-proof chicken head or whatever?
The financing dried up. You know,
the PTA shot down Principal Daly's request for the 1,000 bucks.
Something about fire extinguishers being a better resource of...
I don't know. It's politics, man.
Say, Poole, does this custom-built hypoallergenic head really even exist?
(GIGGLING) No.
No, Pete. No, it doesn't.
Why do I ever believe anything you say anymore?
Because we're best friends.
Now, Pete, are you in or are you out?
Well...
I don't know. I'm just not sure about being the chicken full-time.
I mean, well, if people were to find out
that it was just boring old Pete Ivey in the suit,
they'd expect me to be this, "Hey, check me out! I'm crazy!"
kind of guy all the time, and it's not me.
-That's you. -Okay, Pete,
I don't ever recall saying that we could let people in on our little secret here.
Oh.
So I keep being the chicken and you keep getting the credit?
-Yeah! -What?
-Pete, it's a win-win, dude. -Wait!
-Wait, wait, wait. How is it a win-win? -Simple.
I get the benefit of fame, the Poole family tradition lives on,
let's not forget about Jamie,
and you, you get to have fun in a chicken suit.
Pete, it doesn't get better than that.
-It is kind of fun. -Yeah, it is.
-I mean, I'm kind of good at it. -Good?
Pete. Dude, you're amazing!
I mean, no Poole has ever been this good.
You're a natural, baby. You know, you got all the moves and stuff.
All right. Yeah, I'll do it. Why not?
-Dude, you're gonna do it? -Yeah! I'll do it.
-Perfect. I'll call you. -Cool.
-All right. You're gonna do it. -All right.
-You're my big chicken. -Why not?
Okay.
I want him gone, Fred.
I can't keep my mind in the game.
The crowd isn't even looking at the court anymore.
Excuse me, Coach.
There's something I remembered I had to do.
Just...
Let's see here.
Roosters have scored 24 points all season.
And their opponents...
Mmm.
(DOOR CLOSING)
Okay, so, after this we need 14 feet of chicken wire.
-Chicken wire. -Mmm-hmm.
That would be in the wire department under "Chicken."
Uh...
Or would it be in the chicken department...
-Under "Wire"? -...under "Wire"?
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
So what did you hear from Houston?
-You mean my boyfriend? -Yeah.
Well, he made captain of the debate team.
-Oh. Sounds like a fun guy. -Yeah.
Yeah, he sure likes to argue.
So, Pete, Cleatus Poole, he's a friend of yours, isn't he?
I mean, only since kindergarten. Why?
No reason. Just... He seems like an interesting person.
He's complex, isn't he?
-Poole? -Yeah!
I just... I never really considered the concept.
Well, I mean, it's like, by day, he's just kind of this ordinary...
-Really, really, ordinary guy. -Yeah. Yeah, ordinary.
But, you know, when he's the chicken, he's just so different.
Well, how different? What do you mean?
I don't know. He's brash and bold
and daring, and he's so funny.
Angela, are you saying you're, like, interested in Poole
because he's the chicken?
I found the putty. It's a little pricey, but good putty is worth every cent.
Did you get any twine? Where's the twine?
I didn't see twine on the list.
Come on, twine's the main thing.
You don't build a float without a big old ball of twine.
Come on, it's back in the twine aisle. You can't miss it.
Thank you. Anyways... Poole.
Oh, it's nothing really.
I mean, he's got a girlfriend anyways. Right?
Right. And you have a boyfriend. Let's not forget that. Right?
-Oh. Yeah, yeah, of course. -Yeah.
All right, where's that stupid chicken wire?
Yeah!
-Jam! Jam, knock it off. -Yeah!
Give her pom-poms back right now!
(CLUCKING)
(SINGING) Roll them in the muck Cluck, cluck, cluck
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Roll them in the muck Cluck, cluck, cluck
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Hey. Want to go somewhere after the game?
(CLUCKS)
Where? Come on, Cleatus. Talk to me.
(CLUCKING)
We could miss the bus. Have to find our own way home.
Cleatus! Cut it out!
What's with the silent treatment?
Bet I know. Poole's not in there.
(LAUGHING)
Of course it's Poole.
It is you, isn't it?
See? What are you getting at, Dill?
Does anybody remember Poole being this funny?
-No. -No.
It's only the last couple of games he's come alive,
and you don't just wake up one day and be funny.
Whatever. Of course it's Poole.
Well, then, there shouldn't be a problem to check and make sure.
(CLUCKING)
(SNEEZES)
(PANTING)
It was Poole. Told you.
(ALL LAUGHING)
-Don't scare me like that, okay? -Okay.
Ready? Okay!
(SINGING) Roll them in the muck Cluck, cluck, cluck
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Roll them in the muck Cluck, cluck, cluck
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Last time.
Roll them in the muck Cluck, cluck, cluck
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Cleatus! My hair.
What's the matter, Cleatus? What are you doing?
(CLUCKS)
All right. See you on the court.
(WHISPERING) Pete. Pete?
(MAN HUMMING)
Pete? Pete, where are you? Do I need to...
(POOLE SCREAMING)
(CHEERING)
Okay, let's bring it in. Let's bring it in.
Wow! We haven't had a crowd this big since we won two in a row in '86.
-Did you say something, Coach? -Yes.
I was just saying that we have a lot of paying customers, okay?
So let's give them something to cheer about.
But they didn't come for us, Coach.
They came 'cause of the stupid chicken.
Yeah, I wouldn't pay to watch us play. We stink.
(CLUCKS)
Let's see if this helps.
(CLUCKING)
All right, all right. Let's get in here. Come on, ready?
(ALL CLUCKING)
-Roosters! -Let's go!
(WHOOPING)
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
No, no, don't do it. Don't...
-Foul! -Elbowing!
Thank you. Good call.
CHEERLEADERS: Go, Roosters!
CROWD: (CHANTING) Let's go, Dill.
Let's go, Dill!
Yes!
I did it!
(CLUCKING)
-Let's go, Dill. -Let's go, Dill!
Let's go, Dill! Let's go, Dill!
Yeah! We are not losers. We are not losers. We're not losers.
All right.
No! No!
Pass the ball. Pass the ball. Pass the ball. Pass the ball!
I call time out. Thank you.
Funniest chicken we ever had.
Coming at you.
(CLUCKING)
-Come on, Roosters! -Come on!
(SINGING) Roosters, look at you go Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Roosters, look at you go Cock-a-doodle-do-it
Yes! We scored 20!
We scored 20!
That was more than we had all last season.
(WHOOPS)
(SCREAMING)
(CLUCKING)
Thanks a lot, Cleatus!
I don't think so.
Oh. Poole's gonna hear about this.
(CRYING)
I'm gonna hear about this.
Aw! Gosh, Pete, watch it. You nearly poked my eye out.
You watch it, man. It's not easy getting out of this thing.
Hey, man. What's with you saving Angela out there?
You should have saved Jamie.
What were you thinking? You know what, Pete?
You weren't thinking, is what you were doing.
You need to get your head in the game.
It's hard out there, Poole.
You're reaping all the benefits. I'm out there in the trenches, man.
Pete! I'm in the trenches, too.
Do not underestimate the job of me promoting you to my sister, okay?
It's subtle, yet consistent.
Seriously, I should probably get into marketing when I get older.
You know what, no offense to your sister, but I'm over her now.
(CHUCKLING) Okay, good, 'cause she wasn't taking the bait.
I think I like Angela. I think Angela likes the chicken.
Yeah, if she only knew
-it was really me in the suit. -Okay, Pete, stop talking right now.
We obviously both know you can't tell her.
I understand this whole dual identity thing
-can be really difficult on you. -Yeah.
But guess who else has to deal with it, Pete? Superman.
Yeah, well it's lame being Clark Kent
when Superman's the only one that gets noticed.
-But Clark never complains, Pete. -Oh, my...
ANGELA: Cleatus? Cleatus, is that you?
We had a deal.
There's no backing out.
-Fine. -Fine.
-ANGELA: Cleatus, is that you? -Hey. Hey.
Hi.
-Yeah. The closet. -Right.
I change in there sometimes.
I know it's weird. I'm kind of a shy guy.
Oh.
That's okay. I like shy guys.
Really? Good, 'cause I'm shy.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
You just mentioned that.
-I did. -Yeah.
Look, I just wanted to thank you for,
you know, out there.
You saved me from getting trampled.
I saved you from... That's right, I saved you.
-Yeah. That was pretty sweet of me. -Okay.
You know, this may sound kind of funny,
-but you're sort of a... -Superhero.
-Yeah, I know. -Sensitive guy,
-I was gonna say, actually. -Yeah.
Well, Superman's a sensitive guy, too.
Right. Of course.
Want to know something else about Superman?
Sure.
When he makes a deal with his best friend,
he doesn't back out.
Yeah, Superman's best friend?
Wait, you mean Jimmy Olsen, the photographer guy?
Yeah. See, Superman kept promises with Jimmy.
-Super promises. -Right.
Well, you know what else Superman does?
He saves people in distress, like you did for me.
-So, anyways, thank you. -Okay.
I... I guess you're kind of my superhero today.
-Hey. Sorry. That... -It's all right.
Once or twice a week...
-No. -...it happens. Yeah.
-So, I'll see you later. -I'll see you later.
-Yeah. -See you when later is.
-Pete. -Poole.
I just remembered. In fourth grade, I lent you a quarter for a taco boat,
and you never paid me back.
Okay. You want the quarter now?
Well, I wanted it in fourth grade, but now'd be fine.
(SCOFFS)
-Here's your quarter. -Thank you.
(CELL PHONE CROWING)
You see that? I missed a call.
Yeah, I've been getting a lot of those calls lately.
Must be nice.
Hey, Cleatus, it's your dad. Hey, you wanna go bowling?
It's the old man.
He wants to spend some more face time with his favorite kid.
You know, I can't blame him. My stock is pretty high these days.
Makes him feel good, being seen with me in public.
Whatever you say.
Yeah, we've been hanging out a lot lately.
He's really proud of the chicken, I mean, me.
You know, he's carrying a picture of us in his wallet right now.
I mean, obviously he thinks it's me,
but it's really you. Pete, I cannot take it anymore!
-What's wrong? What's the matter? -Dude, I'm a fraud.
Okay, my dad's walking around,
talking about how proud he is of the chicken, but it's really you, Pete.
You know, he's proud of you because you're the chicken.
You know, if he knew how bad of a chicken I really was,
he would never talk to me again.
Poole, your dad doesn't care if you're a good chicken
or even if you are the chicken.
Your family loves you no matter what.
You see, Pete, I understand that in theory.
Trust me, it's true.
You're a really good friend, Pete,
and I'm really sorry that this whole thing has been really hard on you.
You were right, though, you know.
We should just... We should call it quits.
Let the cat out of the bag.
(EXCLAIMING)
-What if I'm not funny without the suit? -Come on, Pete. You're a funny guy.
You just have to let everybody see that. Without wearing your chicken suit.
Come on. Hey, everybody...
Look, you know what?
Let's just keep the cat in the bag, at least until after the parade.
I mean, what's the rush, really? Right? Your guilt's not going anywhere.
-Yeah, I guess. -I'm sorry, Poole,
I can't switch right now. Look, I did you a favor, do me one.
-(PANTING) Pete! -What?
What do we do with the twine?
Twine? Who needs twine?
Have you seen Angela? I don't know where she is.
No. I think she might have gone home or something. But...
Well, Angela organized this whole thing.
-Poole, take over. -For real, though...
I have, like, a mile and a half of twine here.
Any idea? Come on.
You could build something.
Angela.
-Hi. -Hey.
Why aren't you building the float?
The better question is how come you're not building the float?
Angela, what's wrong? What happened?
I got a text message today. From Houston.
I got dumped in a stupid text message. Can you believe it?
Coward.
Did you know that 86% of all long distance relationships
are doomed to failure?
That sounds high.
Yeah, well, he attached a link.
I checked it out. It's pretty accurate.
Stupid debaters.
That must have been a pretty annoying habit to deal with.
Must be lots of other lame stuff about him.
I don't know, I don't want to rip on the guy.
-He broke up with you with a text. -Dude sleeps with his rabbit.
Weak.
He refuses to eat anything that's not orange.
-What a loser. -And he dry-heaves a lot.
Well, that's kind of a clinical condition,
there's really not anything he can do about...
Pete?
Um...
Angela, have I ever dry-heaved around you?
No,
and believe me, I would have remembered.
Yeah, cool.
Well, we can talk about dry-heaving some more or we can go build a float.
-I think I'll go with building a float. -Yeah, me, too.
-Come on, my car is right up here. -I think I'll take you up on that ride.
I don't think I can make you walk.
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
Can you believe it, deputy? All these people voted for me.
They didn't all vote for you, Uncle Lou. Wasn't exactly a landslide.
Don't call me Uncle Lou.
(CROWD CHEERING)
CROWD: (CHANTING) Chicken! Chicken!
Cock-a-doodle-do-it!
(WHOOPS)
Go, Roosters! Go, Roosters!
("LET IT GO" PLAYING)
(SINGING) Oh-oh, why are you holding back now
Don't you know it's time to let you in and freak out
-Uh-oh -Uh-oh
Nothing's gonna stop us
Not when the beat is kicking like this dust
Why should I care about the opinion of others
I don't wanna spend my time hiding under the covers
Guess I'll just loosen up myself go and just be free
So, I'm gonna do what I do best
I need someone to be
Don't stop, let it, let it...
All you all, come on get with it
If you wanna hear it go
But you gotta let it go
Feels good, real good
Don't be afraid to sing it now
Okie-dokie, karaoke
Everybody, get on down
Arms down, hands up
Push it like you've had enough
Come on, let me hear the love
Yeah!
Just let it loose now
Come everybody, hit the floor
I know you know how
What are you holding back for
So don't be shy now
Come on, let's get to it
Come on, just let it go
That's the way we got to do it
I don't like girls with me and no doubt they are my friends
Don't try to act like someone else
I don't have to pretend
Used to be a little shy
Can you believe it's true?
But then I learned to shed my skin
And you can do it too
Come on, don't stop, let it, let it...
All you all, get down, come on get with it
If you wanna hear it go
But you gotta let it flow
Feels good, real good
Don't be afraid to sing it now
Okie-dokie, karaoke
Everybody, get on down
Arms down, hands up...
-What? Wait. -Come on!
Come on, let me hear the love
Yeah!
Just let it loose now
Everybody, hit the floor
I know you know how
What you holding back for
So don't be shy now
Yeah!
Come on, just let it go
That's the way we got to go
WOMAN: Who's the chicken?
-Cleatus? -Cleatus?
Who's this Cleatus you speak of? I'm Pecos Bill.
What?
But, Cleatus, you're the chicken.
My son is the chicken. Why isn't he in the chicken suit?
-Yeah. -JAMIE: Great.
Now I totally made out with Poole for no reason.
(EXCLAIMS)
So, who's the chicken?
Man!
(CLUCKING)
We've been bamboozled!
Get him!
Get that chicken!
I was hoping it wasn't Poole.
You went and dropped your hat, Uncle Lou.
That was crazy.
(EXHALES)
-No, no, no, no. -Okay, okay.
Jamie! Baby, listen. This doesn't mean we have to break up.
We're breaking up. Expect a visit from the wrestling team.
-Okay, I will do. -Let's get him out of here.
-Hey, where are we going, guys? -Look out.
Law enforcement at work here, folks.
(SIREN WAILING)
Rock, paper, scissors. Rock, paper...
You know, it's a lot more fun when we both play.
Hi, Uncle Lou. The boys found your car
-but that chicken was long gone. -Don't call me Uncle Lou.
-Why not? -Because people will think I hired you
because we're related.
Let me get this straight,
-you're the chicken? -Officially.
Yeah, but somebody else was in the suit, right?
(CHUCKLING) You're both smart.
So, everyone thought you were in the suit but you really weren't.
Exactly.
-So... -So who was in the suit?
Come on, guys. I cannot tell you. We made a promise.
Son, we're talking grand theft automobile here.
That's GTA-mobile.
So you better start talking.
POOLE: Hmm...
Not until I get that root beer I asked for about an hour ago.
Well, go get it.
Yeah, Uncle Lou. Hey, Jack.
(CLEARS THROAT)
What's up?
Lou, can you give us a minute here?
-Sure, Jack. -Thanks.
Well, Cleatus, you know, I just... I wish I understood why you did it.
Dad, you know what? I'm allergic to the chicken suit, okay?
I mean, every time I put the thing on, I go into a sneezing fit
and my body gets all itchy. I mean, I didn't want to quit.
And I think the main thing is that I just didn't want to let you down.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, let me tell you something, Cleatus,
I was allergic to the chicken suit, too.
-Yeah, I know. It was rough. I... -Really?
My sinuses got all stuffed up, my eyes watered,
my fingers swelled up like hot dogs. I just...
You know, I felt like I was itching my way through high school.
I didn't want to quit either, for the same reasons.
I'm proud of you, Cleatus. You had the guts to fly the coop,
like I should have done.
Thanks, Dad.
But, I mean, you're really okay with me not being the chicken?
I know it's the family legacy.
I'd rather you be my happy son than a sneezing chicken any day.
(CHUCKLES)
Thanks, Dad. Dad?
Yeah.
I think I'm allergic to math.
-Yeah, I'm not gonna be okay with that. -Okay, cool.
Okay, science? No.
(PANTING)
(CAR HORN HONKING)
-Hey, Pete. -Hey, Angela.
Where were you? I didn't see you at the parade.
No. I was there.
Oh.
-The float turned out great, huh? -Yeah.
-Good work. -I just did a little sawing,
some hammering, logged some twine time.
Hey, how about that whole chicken thing?
It's all anybody can talk about.
Who do you think it is?
-The chicken? -Yeah.
I don't know. I mean, do you really want to know?
No, I guess not.
I mean, yes. Well, I mean...
Do you want to know?
Yeah.
But I'm afraid once the mystery's over,
so's the magic.
Sure getting colder.
-Am I crazy, Pete? -What?
I think I was actually falling for a guy in a chicken suit.
Really?
You don't know how relieved I was to find out it wasn't Poole.
-Really? -Yeah.
Do you think the chicken'll come back?
Probably not, so long as everyone wants to know who's in there.
Magic's in the mystery, right?
You're right.
Wait... No, I'm right.
Okay, we're both right.
-Hey, do you want a ride? -No, I'm just gonna walk.
It's kind of my exercise for the day.
Right.
-Bye, Pete. -See you.
(MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING)
See that, Pete? We made the newspaper.
What are you doing here, Poole?
Look, man. I'm sorry I got caught.
Dumb, I know. But, I mean, we gotta talk.
Decide what to do next.
What do you mean, "Next?"
-I stole the sheriff's car. -So?
Dude, you had no choice. You were being chased by a mob.
You're legally allowed to do whatever you want
when you're being chased by a mob.
-It's in the Constitution. -Tell it to the sheriff.
-I already did. -Great.
-Did you tell him who I am? -No, Pete.
I was slippery like an oiled-up watermelon.
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna let the whole thing die, right?
We're gonna retire the chicken and let the myth grow,
and then maybe at our 30th reunion,
we tell everybody it was you who turned the chicken into a legend.
-I don't know. -Me either.
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
-Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! -Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
Atta boy, Deputy.
-Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! -Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
Ready? Okay!
(SINGING) Hey, Roosters, get to it We know you can do it
-Do you think he'll come? -I wouldn't count on it.
Well, aren't you just dying to know who he is?
Um...
No. Not really.
Cock-a-doodle-do-it
-Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! -Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
Yeah!
Go, Roosters! Yeah!
-MAN 1: Come on! -MAN 2: We want the chicken!
-MAN 3: Man. -MAN 4: No, where is he?
CHICKEN: Let's cock-a-doodle-do-it! Cock-a-doodle-do. Come on!
There's the chicken.
The chicken is back.
(WHOOPING)
-The cops! -Get the chicken!
I got him, Uncle Lou.
Law enforcement at work here, folks. Nothing to see.
Please, I can...
(CROWD GASPS)
-Wait a minute. -It's the janitor.
-This isn't the real chicken. -It's a fake.
SHERIFF: We got a copycat here! Everyone stand down.
Repeat, we have a copycat.
Sorry, folks. I couldn't resist.
I just wanted some attention and love.
Come on.
(CRYING)
Janitors. Let's go. Huddle up.
Well, there's no chicken.
I'm gonna get on home and soak my feet.
-Out of my way, Dill-Pickle. -Watch it!
-MAN: Come on, let's get out of here. -Come on! Where's your spirit?
-Poole. -TOMMY: To tip-off we go.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Come on. Let's go.
Friday night's game was the biggest crowd in Rooster basketball history,
for the first 10 minutes, anyhow.
Seems to me people only come to see the chicken.
Hmm. You know, I'm pretty sure people go to basketball games
to watch basketball, but, hey, maybe you're right.
Maybe they just want to see a chicken act like a fool.
It's becoming an economic issue, Coach.
There's been a substantial increase in the sale of game tickets.
Most importantly, the town's pride quotient
has increased significantly Friday nights.
Now, it's a simple question.
How can we get the chicken to come back?
Well, I suspect one thing on his mind is the little matter of the sheriff's car.
Well, I spoke to Lou, and he's willing to drop all charges.
What? But that's not fair! He stole a sheriff's car.
Come on, Corky.
Who here among us has never stolen a sheriff's car when we were young?
Huh?
Anyhow, the chicken.
Let's not forget the reason he stole the car in the first place
was to prevent himself from being unmasked.
We need to convince that chicken
that if he shows up again, he won't be touched.
Well, how are we gonna do that?
Ah!
(SIGHS)
(BEEPS)
So, our objective is to get the chicken back.
We're certain that he is here among you at this very moment.
Whoever you are, we want to assure you
that all vehicular theft charges have been dropped,
and that no one will expose you.
Whoever even tries will be given double permanent suspension
and endure eternal misfortune,
which I will personally inflict!
Coach Mackey speaks for all of us. We need you back, chicken.
Come back, you big chicken. We love you! And we need you.
(ALL CHEERING)
-I can't believe I'm actually doing this. -I can't believe he's actually doing this.
(BELL RINGING)
CAMIE: It can't be Keith Burke. He's too short to be the chicken.
What about Bobby Nevin?
-Yes! -You never see him at the games.
-Hey, Pete! -I know.
-How's it going? -Good, good.
What are you guys doing?
Oh. You know. Just what everyone else in school's doing,
trying to figure out who the chicken really is.
-Hey! -Yeah?
Maybe it's this Pete Ivey guy, whoever he is.
CAMIE: No way is Pete Ivey the chicken.
I mean, Pete Ivey is not smart enough,
and Pete Ivey is not cool enough, and Pete Ivey is not wild enough.
-I'm standing right here. -Yeah.
Angela, who do you think it is?
Uh...
I have no idea. Maybe Keith Burke?
He seems like he can be that kind of guy, I guess.
That's what I thought. It's totally the Burkester.
Mmm-hmm.
-Bye, Pete. -Bye.
(SIGHS)
SHERIFF: Boy, I hope the chicken shows up.
Lou, you mind leaving the handcuffs in the cruiser?
Fred, I will not arrest the chicken should he choose to return.
We've been stood up again.
I am tired of looking like a fool.
Where's that chicken that's supposed to be here?
"That chicken will be here. You just wait!"
Yeah, we need the chicken.
(CROWD BOOING)
Oh, boy.
Why? Why? Why? Why?
Stupid chicken.
PETE: What is that, Suze?
We're gonna use this tonight to signal the chicken.
It's not our best idea, but we're desperate.
Suze, how's my rooster signal?
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Best idea I ever had.
-Good luck. -Personally,
I think the chicken has a better chance of seeing that than this.
-What is this? -Didn't you hear?
Tommy's challenging the chicken to come on Rooster Talk today
and explain why he's called it quits.
Hi, I'm Tommy Thompson
and we have a very special guest on Rooster Talk today.
The pride of Brewster, the chicken.
(ELECTRONIC VOICE) Hello, Tommy.
Yes, the chicken's voice has been electronically altered
to protect his identity.
Chicken, let's get right to it. Why have you decided to hang it up?
Well, Tommy, because under these feathers I'm not really mascot material.
-I'm just an average guy. -I love you, chicken!
I think that proves you're anything but average.
You're the spark plug of our school.
-You're the spirit of the whole town. -That's a lot to live up to.
Well, seeing as how the Roosters' last remaining game
is against the Mountain Lions,
number one in the league,
it's gonna be tough to avoid a shutout season without the chicken.
I think they can do it! Right?
Let's bring out someone who believes they can't win without you,
Coach Mackey!
Yeah, Coach!
Coach, you think you can't win without the chicken?
I am positive we can't win without the chicken.
I love the show, by the way. I'm a big fan.
If I can get a picture with you afterwards, it'll be good.
Can I? Good.
Chicken, just hear me out. Okay?
Look, if you come back, I promise
I won't throw my clipboard at you anymore.
And you can break through the big paper sign before the game.
(CLUCKS)
What do you say? Give me a wing?
(CLUCKING)
Come here, you big lug.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
So, I guess this means the chicken will be at the big game Friday?
I'll be at the game,
but I'll be in the stands with all the other students.
TOMMY: Well, if this is gone for good for the chicken,
can we at least know who the man is behind the chicken suit?
Well, let me answer that with another question.
Why doesn't the Lone Ranger take off his mask?
I give up. Why?
Because the magic's in the mystery,
and once you know, the mystery's over.
And so is the magic.
Pete! Dude, we're back in business, and check it out,
-I even got the suit dry-cleaned. -Great.
Dude, the chicken's risen from the ashes.
You know, kind of like the phoenix. They're both birds, right?
Well, I thought we agreed we were done with that.
But, Pete, the chicken's off the hook.
You heard what the coach said.
He said if you show up at the game, they won't arrest you.
You know, what a beautiful country we live in,
when a chicken can steal a sheriff's car and run scot-free.
I mean, I'm just saying, God bless America.
No, Poole. You were right before.
You know, we should just let this all die,
and we can have a good laugh about it in 30 years.
But, Pete, you said that you wanted people
to know that you were the chicken.
I mean, you tried to tell everybody at the rally.
-You were ready then. -Well, I'm not ready now.
Maybe I'm never gonna be ready for people to know
it was just boring old Pete Ivey in the suit.
What are you talking about? You're gonna be famous, man.
-People are gonna love you. -Yeah, but what if they don't?
Poole, what if people stop liking the chicken
because they knew it was me?
Pete, if that's seriously what you're worried about,
then you need to look at it like this, man.
I mean, you can live your whole life in a shell
or you can hatch.
You know, no guts, no glory.
Glory's overrated, anyhow.
Well, I hope you know what you're doing, man.
'Cause you're letting a whole lot of people down.
(SIGHS)
This is your fault.
(CLUCKING)
All right!
Do you little chicklets believe you can beat those lions?
Not without the chicken, no.
What? I'm being honest. Even Coach said it on TV.
Okay, okay, okay, but now I'm saying we can.
And there are 500 Rooster fans out there
who believe you can win without the dang chicken.
But they're all just gonna leave as soon as the chicken doesn't show up.
So what? Maybe they will. But this is our last game, men!
Do you want to go through life
with the honor of being the only winless team in 46 years?
ALL: No, sir!
Is it true we haven't won one single game?
It is absolutely true!
Now, do you believe we can beat them Lions?
-Maybe! -Maybe!
I'll take it!
Now, let's go crashing through that sign
like Raging Roosters and show them who we are!
-Yeah! -COACH: Actually, you know what?
We should probably not go through the sign
in case the chicken shows up. I sort of promised it to him.
Let's just go around it.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Okay, let's do this.
It's the final game of the year here in the big chicken coop.
Our very own Raging Roosters
will try to score the first victory of the season
against the undefeated, 25-and-0 Mountain Lions.
Can they do it? Can they do it?
Our fans think they can do it, so let's do it.
To tip-off we go.
No!
Well, it's been an interesting season.
-Yeah. -Can't win them all!
Can't win one, actually.
-You can do it! Come on. -Come on, Pete.
-Just don't stop! -Where are you?
No. This is horrible.
No! Dill! Time out. Time out. Time out.
Time out!
Go, Roosters!
CHEERLEADERS: Go, Roosters!
Jam, protect the ball, okay? Please, protect the ball. Say it with me.
-Protect the ball. -Protect the ball.
COACH: You're killing me.
Okay, here we go. Thank goodness.
This is it. This is it.
Did they not pay the electric bill?
PRINCIPAL: This is the best two grand this school ever spent.
PETE: Cock-a-doodle-do-it!
Cock-a-doodle-do-it!
Get the banner. Get the banner!
Well, here goes nothing.
(SCREAMING)
Cock-a-doodle-do-it!
Yes! Finally.
Atta boy, Pete, or, chicken! I knew you'd show up!
Sorry, I was excited about the chicken showing up.
(RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Yeah! Yes!
(SINGING) No matter what they say, I'm gonna be me
The only person that I want to be
I'm letting loose
Coming out of my shell
I'm doing me because I do it so well
Arms down, hand up
Push it like you've had enough
Come on, let me hear the love
Yeah!
Just let it loose now
Everybody, hit the floor
I know you know how
What are you holding back for
So, don't be shy now
Come on, people, now let's get to it
Come on, just let it go
Yeah, that's the way you gotta do it
That's enough. Okay, listen. Guys, all right,
the war is on and we've gotta win it.
And now, we have our secret weapon.
Okay? So keep your heads up, your butts down,
-and let's win this thing, okay? -Yeah!
I need your hands in. Ready?
Everybody, hit the floor
I know you know how
What you holding back for
So, don't be shy now
Come on, people, now let's get to it
Come on, just let it go
Yeah, that's the way you gotta do it
(ALL CLUCKING)
Roosters! Let's go!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Floyd!
-Yes! Yes! -The Roosters score!
-I dunked a basketball! -I have a player who can dunk.
I have a player who can dunk.
With a scoreboard and people watching and everything!
Guys, did you see that? I dunked a basketball!
(PLAYING FUNKY MUSIC)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Come on!
(CLUCKING)
(CHUCKLING) Oh.
Pass. Pass. Pass. Yes!
(ALL CLUCKING)
Roosters!
(WHOOPS)
Time out. Time out.
They called time out! This is great, you guys.
Good job. Good job, men!
-Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! -Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
Come on, chicken. Take that chicken head off.
Yeah, come on, chicken.
Chicken!
-Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! -Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
Come on, chicken. Show us who you are!
We can't take it anymore.
PETE: What do you say, Pete?
Maybe it's time to see what it feels like to stand in center court for a change.
-Chicken! Chicken! -Come on, Pete. Show these guys.
I mean, you can live your whole life in a shell
or you can hatch.
I guess it's now or never.
-Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! -Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
Let me give you a hand with that, Pete.
WOMAN 1: Who is that guy?
You knew?
WOMAN 2: Who is he? I don't recognize him.
Who is that fellow?
That's Pete! It's Pete Ivey!
-That's our Pete! -That's our Pete!
You rock, Pete.
-That's our Pete! -That's our Pete!
(ALL CHEERING)
(WHOOPING)
The kid makes a darn good chicken.
-How did you know? -The magic's in the mystery.
You told Tommy, remember?
-Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! -Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!
Your fans are calling again.
We've got no time outs, all right? I want a full-court press.
I want you to go for the steal. If you don't get it, I want you to foul.
We can do this! Put your hands in here. Ready?
Roosters on three. One, two, three.
-Roosters! -Let's go!
Yeah!
(SCREAMING)
Yes! Yes! Press, press, press!
All right, trap them! Trap them! Trap them!
TOMMY: Stolen again by the Roosters!
The Roosters are taking it up-court. I can't believe it.
Yeah!
-Roosters score! -Yeah!
I dunked it again.
No, he didn't. No, he didn't.
Roosters down by two with only eight seconds to go.
CROWD: Eight! Seven!
Six! Five! Four!
Yes, close the gap!
Three! Two! One!
TOMMY: He shoots! He shoots!
The ball's in the air...
(BUZZER SOUNDING)
It's in! We won!
Yeah!
Yes!
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
(CLUCKING)
We won.
Yes!
-Yes! -Yeah!
I am not a loser!
I told you I was falling for a guy in a chicken suit.
Is it okay if I'm the guy?
Pete! Dude, they love you. Put your head on.
("READY TO ROCK" PLAYING)
I have a secret
I've been dying to tell
And I would have told you sooner
But I think it's just as well
Now, while we're all together
And it's time to celebrate
So, take a friend by the hand
Call your Mom and Dad and tell them
that the party's never gonna stop
I'm ready to rock
One, two, three, four
Tell me what you're waiting for
And it feels so good tonight
Like I knew it would, all right
And I just love this starlight
And it's been hailing outside for a long, long time
Like a cloud that's about to pop
I'm ready to rock
Cock-a-doodle-do-it!
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
I'm ready to rock