- Hey, go to Williamsburg. - You going to go to...
- Oh, I'm sorry, man. - Uh, yeah. Sorry.
Going to Williamsburg. North 6th and Wythe.
Do you mind? I'll just hang onto you.
Can you just drop me off at Williamsburg Bridge?
That's fine because I'm headed into the Bowery. Do you mind?
- All right, that's fine. - We'll just split a fare.
- Two stops. - Yeah. Chamber Street.
- Just take the FDR... - No, no, not FDR Drive.
- Not Chamber Street. No. - Oh, my God. If you take FDR Drive,
- first of all, it's more of a fare. - I do this every single day.
It's an extra 20 minutes. I got to be somewhere.
Take the FDR Drive, please. It's a lot faster.
I think we can hang down the West Side Highway
and make a left on Chamber Street.
There's no point, though. There's going to be...
Bleecker, guys. We're going Bleecker.
No, we both want to go to the same area.
Bleecker's going to take an extra hour.
Bleecker Street is totally out of the direction.
- That's ridiculous. - Both of you, out of the cab.
Wait a second.
Calm down, man. We're not going to get out.
We'll share the same rate. We're not going to Bleecker.
Out of my cab.
♪♪
Hey, sweetheart. How you doing? It's me.
- I'm doing good. Thinking of you. - Hey.
Yeah, I dreamt about you last night.
I'm ready for you. Had my Wheaties.
I miss you, too.
You ready?
Okay. I got some surprises.
Whoa. Magnifique.
Pardon. Excusez-moi, mademoiselle.
This yours?
Um, it is. It must have fallen out of my bag.
It was on the floor near the bathroom.
That was really nice of you. How can I thank you?
I wouldn't mind if you bought me a drink.
Great. What would you like?
- Whatever you're having. - Two gin and tonics, no ice.
Losing your cell phone's like losing your mind.
Do you come here a lot?
I do. A lot. Too much.
Long story.
Tell me.
I've got a ton of time.
I only saw my dad once in my whole life,
right here.
When my mom was pregnant with me,
she never told him.
Just left him.
Growing up, she had a lot of boyfriends.
Went through one after another.
Always left them.
Every time she'd leave a man, though,
she'd keep something, like a souvenir.
Maybe a book or a necklace or a painting.
When she left my dad, she kept me.
I was her souvenir.
Before she died, she gave me a piece of paper
with his name and number on it.
I called him up, and we met here.
I said one thing to him.
What did you say?
"Dad."
That's it?
"I'm a gift for you, from Mom."
Thank you.
I walk past your flower room every day.
I see you, but I say nothing.
I'm so afraid to look at you. Oh, girl.
You say I'm the strongest. I say you're the kindest.
You ask me where I'm going. I point to the ocean.
Oh, girl.
Very touching.
Lyrics to this song.
Let me have a cigarette.
- Indian? - I think it's Japanese.
- Chinese. - Chinese?
Xie xie.
Increible.
Which means "Thank you, I fuck, and you're off-key."
He found my phone for me.
Really? Very nice. Thank you.
Gary. Nice to meet you.
Ben.
- How are you, Benjamin? - Just Ben.
Thank you.
Nice to meet you.
I'll leave you two alone.
Have a seat. Sit.
Sit down.
We know each other?
It's possible.
You look familiar.
New York's not such a big place.
- You study? NYU? - I wish.
I teach there.
Am I a good teacher?
- You're a good teacher. - Thank you.
So what do you do?
Thief.
- Could be. - That is funny.
Might be? Used to be?
Will be?
- To be or not to be. - Well, I'm a thief.
I've been trying to steal you from your wife,
but it hasn't worked so far.
Can I get the bill?
You lost your wallet?
You lost your wallet.
Is this yours?
Wow.
Yeah, that's my wallet.
- Merci beaucoup. - Money's gone.
I recently lost my wallet,
but I managed to get my money back.
A young man should never be without cash.
Knock yourself out, young man.
You lost your wallet?
Did you lose my pictures, too?
Pictures? How could I?
How did you get these?
I took these, like, five minutes ago.
Aren't you full of surprises today.
You took off your ring.
Ben, your keys.
Mm.
Ben, wait up!
I've come into the city
only to do this deal, so it better be good.
My customer wants natts, ASAP.
I'm in the middle of my wedding arrangements,
but I came here to do this business with you.
Who are you getting married to?
His name's Chaim.
♪ Chaim in the mood ♪
♪ For love ♪
Where's my invitation for your wedding?
Did you invite me to your wedding?
Oh, I wish I had.
25 years I've been trading with Hasidic people.
I know nothing about them. They know nothing about Jain peoples.
Strictly business. We don't come to 47th Street to chitchat.
While you inspect the goods, I'm going to eat.
Excuse me. Hmm?
You can't eat meat, right? You Hindus?
No, we are not Hindus. We are Jains.
Hinduism is too materialistic for us.
No meat, no fish.
- And what can't you eat? - No pig, no shrimp.
- What else can't you eat? - No onion, no garlic.
- No milk and meat together. - No potato, no roots.
- Nothing that hasn't been blessed. - Nothing too spicy.
It is exciting the passions, you know.
The Christians... they eat everything.
They're like the Chinese.
They never have to spend too much time
picking a restaurant.
That's why there are no Christians in the diamond market.
How can you trust a person who will eat anything?
This parcel's not so good.
At least 20% rejection you've given me.
How much?
550.
Too much. Way too much.
I'll give you 480.
Why are you doing this to me?
My children will be crying at home
because after I do business with you, I have no money for food.
I can't make commission on this.
540.
Maybe I can give my children some dry bread.
I have to check with my customer.
My customer says too much.
No, he doesn't.
I know you understand Gujarati.
That's why I lied.
And I know you know I know Gujarati.
And I know you know Yiddish.
I was speaking to an answering machine.
520, as a wedding present. Mazel.
I'm sorry. I can't shake your hand.
I'm not allowed to touch any man who isn't my husband.
Mazel.
And mazel for your wedding.
Mazel for the dozen children you'll soon have.
Thank you. Is that your children?
Minesh and Paresh.
- Where's your wife? - Oh, she's not looking that good
in the photographs these days.
Oi.
Last year she decided that marriage was a sin.
Now she's in India,
with her head shaved, going door to door,
collecting food in the bowl.
She used to be my wife.
Now I have to worship her.
Don't worry. She's not the only one without hair.
I had to shave off all mine this morning
'cause I'm getting married tomorrow.
This is a wig.
Why? What is so wrong with women's hair anyway?
Why you all want to cut it off?
They wanted me to cut it off on my wedding night.
- I said "No way." - Yeah?
It took 25 years to grow, 10 minutes to cut off.
And now, for the rest of my life,
I have to wear some other woman's hair.
For all I know,
you could be wearing my wife's hair right now.
What do you mean, your wife's hair?
Most human hair in America comes from our temples in India,
where women offer their long locks to God
so that they can be sold to the West and you can have your wigs.
While we are waiting for the Messiah,
while we are waiting for Mahavir...
your eyes will suffice
to give tired men hope.
This is not the proper etiquette in this neighborhood.
What is this?
♪♪
Rifka!
Mansukhbai!
♪♪
- Ah, oui? - Ah, oui.
♪♪
Oh, I'm s... I'm so sorry.
Wow, that's an entrance.
Wait. Which way are you going?
Uh, I was just gonna go over cross town to the East Side.
Oh, I guess I can film there, too. Okay, let's go.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
♪♪
Hello?
David? Are you okay?
- Did I wake you? - Yeah.
Yeah, you can say that.
Listen, he left me a message about a couple of music cues.
Who?
Abara, your director.
Uh, okay, which ones?
5, 7, 8, 12, 13...
Okay. Okay, great. What was the message?
He hates them.
You have to change them.
Because?
He didn't say.
Oh, well,
what do you think, Camille?
Maybe you should talk to him directly.
Mmm. Yeah.
Yeah, I'll call him.
♪♪
Hey, Camille. It's your favorite stalker.
- Did you talk to Abara? - Yeah, we talked.
He talked for, like, two hours about, like, composers...
Wagner, Brahms, Gustav Mahler, Tchaikovsky, Dostoyevsky.
That killed me.
Dostoyevsky isn't a composer.
- Are you okay? - Never better.
Great. Well, I need your address.
Abara wants to messenger you something right away.
Does he?
Hold on.
Aw. It's on my phone.
I'm a total idiot when it comes to numbers and addresses.
- My last girlfriend... - Uh-huh?
I couldn't remember her birthday.
She broke up with me because of that.
Yeah, well, you deserved it.
Probably. But the upside is that I'm single now.
So, dinner?
You're sleep deprived, David.
No. I'm Camille deprived.
I'm thinking Balthazar for dinner
and maybe a little pastis for dessert.
I'm thinking unemployment if you don't finish those cues on time.
Give me your address.
♪♪
Hello?
Hey, did you get the books?
I left them outside your door.
Wait. What... You were here? Why didn't you call?
I knocked, like, a hundred times.
What the hell is this?
He talked to you about Dostoyevsky.
"Please read."
Is this guy crazy? Am l...
Am I supposed to read these or eat them?
Okay, David. I'm gonna put you through to Abara, okay?
You can talk to him.
How'd it go with Abara?
He just said "Read the books, Dave.
"Don't use CliffNotes or Wikipedia.
Just read them." So fine.
I'm on a bench in Central Park with The Brothers Karamazov.
800 pages, and I'm page 22.
Ouch.
Bless you.
Thanks.
What? What's wrong?
- I can see the Dakota. - Hmm.
John Lennon... is my god.
- You know his song "Mother"? - Yeah.
I was a kid the first time I heard that.
Why can't I write a song like "Mother"?
Oh, I just sent you a picture.
Oh, my God.
Is that John Lennon standing behind you?
- What? - I'm just kidding.
I have no idea what you look like, Camille.
Hmm.
Send me a picture.
No. No way.
Is that what you look like?
If you're calling for Camille,
please leave a message after the beep.
There are 1,784 pages,
and it takes me four minutes to read one page.
1,784 pages times four minutes a page
is 7, 136 minutes,
which equals 118.9333 hours,
which comes to 4.955 days.
But you can round it off to five days without sleeping.
It's impossible. I quit.
I quit.
Goodbye, Camille.
Hello?
Please leave a message after the beep.
Hey, David. It's Camille.
You know, when Dostoyevsky was writing The Gambler,
he signed a contract with his publisher
saying that he would finish it in 26 days.
And he did it,
but he had the help of this young stenographer.
This girl... she stayed with him, and she helped him.
And afterwards,
they actually got married.
Isn't that cool?
That's how he met his wife.
Anyway, I found this story
in the preface for Crime and Punishment.
So I was thinking that...
And this would have to be between you and me.
But I was thinking that I could read the books
and tell you what's going on.
That way, you could just focus on your music.
But only if you're comfortable with this.
And if you're not, you know, we can just forget it,
and you can quit.
But if you are,
then open this door.
Open... this door?
Okay, a deal's a deal.
Does this mean we're getting married?
I have a lot of reading to do.
Hi. I'm Camille.
Hi. I'm David.
Hello?
Where?
Thank you.
That was kind of a powerful, intimate situation.
What was intimate?
Just now. Just... We...
Sharing the flame.
I mean, that was... that was intimate.
If you say so.
Oh, come on now.
You know what I'm talking about.
Our hands almost touched.
I looked at you, and you lifted your head up slowly,
and our eyes met.
It was... It was... It was intense,
and it was intimate.
Wow. Stop it. I feel naked.
Yeah, well, you know what? I have that effect on women.
I mean, not all women.
No, not all women.
But it has happened before, so don't be alarmed.
- Yeah, I bet. - Yeah. Don't ignore what's happening here.
We're having some kind of powerful, weird alchemy,
and you have to pay attention when that happens.
This stuff is not to be treated lightly.
Listen, I actually just came out here to have a cigarette, okay?
- And relax and do my thing. - Okay. No. Sure. Sure. Yeah.
So, uh, maybe another time.
Yeah. But there may not be another time. Okay?
I may never get this chance again.
I mean, we may never, you know,
be able to return to this... this moment.
Well, then, you should know that I'm married and happy.
Right. Uh-huh. And where is he?
Huh? Huh?
He leaves you out here alone, in the dark, without a light.
- I'm not feeling that. - Well, he doesn't smoke, so...
- But you love him anyway. - Yeah. Why not?
Sure. Sure. He just abandons you, huh,
to your mortal disease, and leaves you alone to suffer
and die, when he's in there pretending to love you?
I don't respect this guy. I think he's a coward.
I think he's selfish. And forgive me for saying this,
but I think any moment now, this guy's gonna open up his real self to you,
and it's gonna be all...
Like, scary stuff's gonna come out.
You know, I felt it right away.
I felt it right away... that I think...
I'm gonna say something a little bold here.
But I think you might be married to the wrong person.
I don't know that even if that were true
- that I'd tell you. - Right.
- We're not exactly friends. - No, we're not.
- No. - That's true.
But we did share a flame. Right?
- Speaking of. - Oh.
See? Look at that. See? You need me.
You're walking away, and you need me.
We share a flame. Thousands of tiny molecules are heating up right now.
They're penetrating our brain.
They're stimulating our sexual desire.
I don't know about you, but I find that shit very romantic.
And I'm so glad you walked over here
because now I can feel a little bit more comfortable
to tell you that I happen to be,
uh, on the forefront of men
able to find and locate a woman's G-spot.
And I could do that for you.
That's really generous of you. Thank you.
It's my pleasure. Well, it's your pleasure.
And what makes you think I haven't located it yet?
Um, the way you hold the cigarette.
It's a little high and tight, you know?
What you have to do is you have to lower it.
You have to bring it all the way down in there so it just sits comfortably.
It rests there. If it's high and tight like that,
the whole body gets restricted,
and the plexus gets closed off,
you know, and the vagina gets locked.
Look, I just happen to know this crazy, weird technique with the vagina.
It's kind of cool, and I thought you'd be interested.
But you have to be prepared.
You know what I mean? Preparation is the key.
I mean, it starts with a little walk. Just a short walk, like...
You know, like, to, uh... like my apartment.
It's a couple blocks from here. And we would walk,
and I would tell you a few little elegant, classy jokes.
You know, kind of getting us a little giggly, a little silly.
You know? And then we'd share a glass of Burgundy.
- Burgundy? - Yeah.
We'd bask in the warm, gentle,
romantic yet erotic glow of, uh, my spacious loft.
And then I would undress you,
and you would undress me.
We'd stand naked before each other, and we'd kiss.
I find... I find kissing a very helpful,
sweet way to... to relax.
And then, maybe I would... I would...
I would bite your neck a little bit.
Not... Not hard. Just gentle... gentle little nibbles,
like... like a little kitty cat, you know?
And then... And then you would feel
my hands kind of descend to your lower region,
kind of, uh, finding their way,
massaging the skin around your clitoris,
which would even stimulate the arousal even more.
All the time, I'm whispering
delicate little poems in your ear, you know?
And the blood from your body
is... is rushing to the wet internal walls,
and my fingers would slide effortlessly...
Are you an actor or something?
Or a comedian? You're a comedian.
No. I, uh... I'm kind of a writer.
- Oh, you're kind of a writer. - Yeah, kind of.
You know, what about you? What do you do?
I'm a hooker.
What exactly does that mean?
That exactly means that people pay to have sex with me.
Mm-hmm.
So, if I wanted to, um...
Here's my card.
It's got my number and my Web site on it.
So wow. You're, uh...
- That's why you're... - Fridays is no good.
Saturdays and Sunday are busy.
Weekends are... Avoid weekends.
You know, I look forward to hearing from you
and sharing another... intimate moment.
Well, fuck me.
In New York City,
there are currently 759 drugstores
and over 1,600 registered pharmacists.
On the day of my senior prom,
one of them would change my life.
Shit bums. They lose 2 to 1 again. One run.
They couldn't hit a ball with an oar. Listen, this is on the house.
I heard about what happened with you and that girl you were dating.
- Oh. - I'm really sorry.
And on prom night.
Like there's gonna be other proms.
Well, there's not gonna be another prom.
Not now, not ever.
She's a whore, all right? Crushing a young man's dreams.
She's a snake fucking devil whore is what she is.
- She's got no right. - It's... It's really... It's all right.
I mean, we only went out a couple months, and I'm okay with it.
Here's the thing. I'm gonna help you.
Come here for a second.
I got something to show you.
That's my daughter. She'll go to the prom with you tonight.
It's the right thing to do.
And that's not chopped liver, right?
Nuh-uh.
I was 17, and I'd only been to second base,
but I felt like tonight could be my lucky night.
Hey, kid.
- Hey, Mr. Riccoli. - Hey.
- Call me Frank. - Oh. Yeah.
- You look good. - Thanks.
Oh. Hey.
♪♪
Listen, try to get her home by 12:00, 12:30.
She's gotta take her pills.
♪♪
Why are you stopping?
That's my girlfriend.
- Hey. - Hi.
I'm sorry. I came with Gil.
He's a film major at NYU.
Oh, that... that's cool.
We're... We're cool. Whatever.
It's no biggie, you know?
How's your, uh, swimmer's ear?
Good. Better.
Who's your date?
Make-A-Wish.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, it was her dream to go to prom,
and I said, "Of course I'll make your dream come true."
I want to dance.
Uh, we should... we should talk first.
I want to dance.
Everybody clap your hands.
Check it out, y'all.
How low can you go?
Can you go down low?
All the way to the floor?
How low can you go?
Can you bring it to the top?
Like you'll never, never stop?
Wait! That's my limo!
You've got your own wheels.
Want to walk me home through the park?
Through the park?
Thanks.
I had a really good time tonight.
Me, too.
I should probably take you home.
Make a wish.
I really can't think of anything right now.
Come on. Take my panties off.
Come on.
Yeah, that's them.
Okay, now take your pants off.
Hurry.
Come on.
Come here.
Grab my legs.
That's it.
Mmm, it's morning.
Oh, fuck!
- Motherfuckers. - I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
They lose it in the 9th... these rat bastards.
They lost it 8 to 7. 8 to 7.
- Them Yankees need some pitching. - Hi, Daddy.
Hi, baby.
Listen, I, uh... I really want to thank you very much.
There are not too many young men like you left in this city.
Well, it's my pleasure.
Yeah, New York actresses... they drive you nuts.
Actresses?
Last year, she played Helen Keller.
She walked around the city for two weeks, blindfolded.
You know, to get the feeling of the part.
Broke her nose twice. Now she's doing this thing downtown...
what the fuck... Whose Life is it Anyway?
Anyway... Anyway, she's doing 20 hours a day in a chair now.
Central Park covers almost 843 acres.
It is 6% of Manhattan.
There are also 127,000 Method actresses in New York,
which is 2% of the population.
And on the night of my senior prom,
these two elements came together
to make one perfect wish come true.
God, I love New York.
♪♪
♪ And here I am ♪
♪ The only living boy in New York ♪
All right, guys. I'm done.
I'm out. Yeah.
Thanks, man.
- Hey. - Hey.
You look like you're gonna have a heart attack.
That was nothing.
You know what?
Give me a sec, all right? Just gonna go say bye.
- My man. - All right.
That's for you.
Now, with a little bit more practice...
I ain't practicing.
- You had me going. - Hey.
You're good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
All right. Let's go.
I don't know why I said I'd meet him.
I know I gave him my number, but when?
When we said goodbye?
Oh, yeah. It was at the bar.
I didn't realize we were gonna go home together
at that point.
Idiot.
Why did I do that?
Why did I act like that?
I'm only gonna have two drinks tonight.
I'm not gonna have sex with him. I don't want to.
I really don't.
God, I had no intention of going home with him or anyone.
When he sat down next to me, it was so clear
we weren't each other's style that it wasn't even weird.
And since there was no vibe, we just started talking
without thinking anything,
and then I don't know what happened.
It's a bad idea with this girl.
What am I saying? She's not a girl.
I have no idea how old she is,
but she's not a fucking girl.
Why am I walking 30 blocks to this bar?
I'm not in a good space for this.
Yeah, she was beautiful. Yes, she had a great body, and she's smart.
Was she even drunk? I don't even know.
I don't even know what she was. Does it really matter?
Ow. Am I imagining things, or is my dick itching?
No, no, no. It's just these pants.
They always rub me the wrong way.
God, that was sexy.
It was beyond sexy.
I felt like I was in a damn Bertolucci movie.
What is wrong with me? Why am I so fucking nervous?
This is ridiculous. Let's just get in a cab.
No, you're too early. Shit! I need a cigarette.
I don't think I was drunk.
Although I definitely had red wine teeth when I came home.
I'm sure he found that really attractive
as I sat at the bar yammering about myself.
Oh, no wonder he was so excited when we got home.
I finally shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
I hardly said a word the rest of the night after that.
It was good,
but there's nowhere for it to go.
I think it would've been fine if it was just sex,
but it took another turn.
Something happened. I don't know what zone that was,
but both of us played into it.
It's good we're gonna do this...
have a couple of drinks and get straight.
Let him know I know what this was...
nothing.
God, I hate that window.
I don't want to see the innards of the subway system.
Makes me feel sick.
Just get me there.
Hi. Can I get a Jameson? Great.
- Here you go. - Thanks.
You left that on.
Yeah. I'll look at it later.
Madame.
Thank you.
This is not the room I wanted.
I don't find it comfortable so near to the street.
The noise.
I can carry my bags.
That is my job.
This is good.
I was hoping it would snow.
Then the street is quiet.
The world goes quiet.
I don't think there is snow.
- You're not American. - No.
No, we're not so many of us American in this hotel.
It's one of the things I love best about New York.
Everyone came from somewhere else.
Yeah.
Well, I hope you will be very comfortable here.
Please call down if you need anything.
There are no flowers.
Is it possible to have flowers in the room?
Violets? Or...
I love violets.
I'm not expecting you to buy them, of course,
if you, uh... if you don't have them.
I'm sure I can find some violets.
Come in.
How did you do that?
I didn't do anything.
You must have requested them.
They were downstairs in lobby.
I didn't.
All the better.
Incredible.
So you're lucky, no?
These violets were waiting for you.
Are there any other miracles I can perform?
Oh, I doubt it.
What... What's happened?
Here, here.
Oh.
- I'm s... I'm sorry. - Here, here, here.
No, no. Come on.
Put your head back.
Are you in pain?
It's not my business. Fr...
From your back?
Wait here.
I have something for you.
Please?
The mystery of the violets is solved.
My father is, um...
My father is manager here... at hotel.
He's very happy you have returned to hotel.
He's very big admirer of yours, madame.
He says he heard you sing many times in Paris.
Please thank him.
♪♪
Paris is place I wish I visit.
Would you like me to open?
Perhaps.
♪♪
Would you join me?
I don't...
Please?
♪♪
Santé.
You seem so sad.
No one so young should be so sad.
Do you still sing?
Hmm?
- Never. - Mmm.
I'm sorry.
I should love to have heard you sing.
Mmm.
You are too cold.
Surely.
No?
How can you bear it?
Don't know how you can bear it.
♪♪
I'm sorry. L... I don't see anything.
Did you see something in the street?
Would you like me to close the window, madame?
It is very cold.
Yes.
Please close the window.
The manager is very happy that you've returned to the hotel.
He remembered your love of violets and hopes you enjoyed them.
He's a great admirer of yours, madame.
Says that he heard you sing many times in Paris.
Yes.
Please thank him.
Artist?
Painter.
I see the paint on your hands.
Mm-hmm.
I'm a painter, too.
Already there's been some serious interest, you know?
People like my stuff.
I mean, they really like it.
You've been here long?
It's not easy here.
I see things everywhere. Don't you?
It's all new.
On the walls, on bridges,
I see things.
I get my palette from the sky.
I wait, and I paint.
Don't you think, when you first come here,
you come because this is the capital of everything possible?
Ah, for a while, it can be.
I can make the buildings dance.
Whole cities move because of me.
It's how you look at things, Teya.
You see a city between the buildings.
Mm-hmm.
You see the shapes they cut out in the sky?
Mm-hmm, like Mommy's teeth.
Oops.
That's okay.
My umbrella's out of control.
Boing, boing, boing.
It's everywhere.
- You like that dog? - Imagine if we were in a huge umbrella,
if we were living in a huge umbrella.
That would be so weird,
because then we're going to see a green
or any color all the time.
Why's that squirrel chasing the other squirrel?
Because he loves her.
Then why is she running away?
Because she's scared.
Hmm. Can we go to the fountain now?
The fountain? I don't remember where the fountain is.
Do you?
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Mommy doesn't let me eat hot dogs.
You want sushi?
Seaweed's gross.
Then it's our secret, okay?
All right.
Bracelet fell in.
Excuse me.
Yeah?
We couldn't help but notice
how good you are with her.
Oh, thanks. Thank you.
It's so unusual to meet a manny.
And a good manny, at that.
What?
You know, a male nanny.
Well, thank you. Thanks.
Excuse me. Teya.
Tey. Come, baby.
Let's go now.
Time to go. Come.
The sun's a boy, and the moon's a girl.
Exactly, Tey.
El sol, la luna.
- La luna. - Yeah, that's right.
- I like when they're both out. - Yeah?
They make all these pretty colors,
and it's kind of like purple, hot pink, and regular pink,
and they sort of, like, play tag with each other
while they still can.
Hey, sweetness.
Hey, Mommy.
Hi.
Nice outfit.
Did you pick that out yourself?
Yep. And the bracelet matches.
It does.
Ed's over there. He's got a snack for you.
No, thanks.
You're going to get hungry.
Nuh-uh. I had a hot dog.
You need to be firm with her, okay?
She needs the discipline.
She needs you.
She misses you.
Um...
pick her up again tomorrow?
Okay.
Come on, monkey.
Daddy, Daddy!
Excuse me. All this for dry cleaning?
Yeah. Is tomorrow okay?
Why not? After 5:00.
You've been shopping.
Very expensive stuff.
I don't like to run out.
Your Cantonese is improving.
I've been studying.
Have a nice night.
$25.
♪♪
Hey, how are you today?
Good.
I want to paint you.
You know, portrait.
Um, would you like... Come with me?
Why me?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
I can't.
Please.
Okay. I'm sorry.
I'm going to give you my address.
If you change your mind...
I'm waiting for you.
Hey. You looking for something?
I looking for the painter.
What?
The painter.
The painter is dead.
You want apartment?
♪♪
Can I help you?
- Oh, thank you. - You're welcome.
Well, I guess this is useless.
Aren't you the one who's always filming in the coffee shop?
I thought I was being more discreet.
I guess my secret's out now.
If you ask for permission, you never get it, so...
So you like to break the rules, then?
A lot of people give me trouble.
Well, I will be the exception for today.
Oh. City's full of surprises, right?
Yeah.
Hey, it's me. Can we talk?
Yeah, Peter. How are you?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
I'll get it to you in the morning.
No, they're very important clients.
No. Losing a client is not an option.
Shit.
Yeah.
And?
Thank you.
No, I don't care. Tell him to postpone the opening.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
And if their lawyer tries to contact you...
Yeah. Oh.
What do you see?
No, don't mention the second offer.
Not yet.
No. Okay, Peter.
You, too. Thanks.
You know, this is what I've always liked about New York...
These little moments on the sidewalk, smoking,
thinking about your life.
Makes you appreciate the city better.
You can watch the buildings. You can feel the air and look at the people.
Sometimes meet somebody you feel like you can talk to.
You can talk about what?
Things you can say to a stranger.
You know, when there's no past, there's no guilt.
Have you ever made love to a perfect stranger?
Now you're teasing me.
I believe I am.
Well, I mean...
No, not exactly a perfect stranger,
if you mean someone I wouldn't know at all.
It's sad.
It's sad? Why?
Because there's almost nothing more exciting
than fucking somebody you don't know.
Right?
You don't know their name, barely saw their face.
Don't.
Don't tell me your name.
You know what? As soon as I finish this cigarette,
I have to walk back into that restaurant
and sit down again in front of my husband.
And?
And he won't look at me.
And he won't notice I'm not wearing a bra under my dress.
No bra?
No panties, either.
Oh.
No underwear?
Not today.
I feel sad for this poor, lonely husband who can't see his wife's hidden talents.
Don't you think he's like every man, though?
He's typically blind and bored by his very own wife,
ready to fantasize about the first unknown woman
he hasn't fucked yet.
Am I bothering you?
Not at all.
Yeah. And you say that because now I've turned you on, right?
You want to take me to bed.
Do you want to take me to bed?
Yeah, I probably do.
Aw, come on. All right, why are you telling me all of this?
Because tonight I want things to change.
Chain smoking's a bad thing.
Who knows? Maybe we'll meet again.
Thank you.
Enjoy your meal.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Okay?
♪ A heart that's full up ♪
♪ Like a landfill ♪
♪ A job that slowly kills you ♪
♪ Bruises that won't heal ♪
What the hell happened to you?
I was doing downward dog, and then I went into chakrasana,
and that's when it happened.
What's a downward dog?
Yoga.
Oh, yeah. You know,
I remember you used to be really loose and limber.
Mr. Riccoli, can you just fill the prescriptions now?
- I didn't mean loose like... - I know what you're saying.
I just have somewhere to be.
Right.
Um...
What the hell... Who you with?
Birth control? What the hell are you doing?
Oh, come on.
No, listen, I'm just saying that, you know, I think, Lydia,
personally it's time for you to have babies.
What are you, kidding me?
What's wrong with you? I'm out of here.
What'd I say?
What did l...
You used to be nice. What happened to you?
Whoa.
Hey, Lydia, come on. Talk to me. What'd I say?
Hey, I'm sorry.
What the hell did I say?
Babies.
You're picking on me again.
I just don't understand why I'm always the one
who has to initiate everything.
Not true.
We don't go anywhere.
You don't take me anywhere.
I took you to the park last week.
Come on. I'm talking about outside of the city.
Name one place in the past two years
outside the city that you've taken me to.
Beach in the Hamptons.
That's where we met, and you hated the Hamptons.
I'm talking about a road trip,
or a canoe trip, even. A bike trip.
Will you stop with the phone?
Just name one.
Exactly.
What?
If you could go anywhere in the world,
where would you go?
You know where.
- Come with me. - What are you doing?
I just bought tickets. We're leaving now.
We are?
Are you out of your mind?
I don't have anything with me right now.
Well, I will buy you a toothbrush.
In Rome.
Coach is fine.
Lift your feet.
You don't lift your feet.
I'm lifting my feet.
No, you're shuffling.
The doctor said you should lift your feet.
I'm lifting, I'm lifting.
You want you should fall down, break your other hip?
At least then the pain would be the same on both sides.
- Equal. - Everything always has to be equal with you.
I'm a democratic sort of fellow.
Well, see how democratic you feel
when you fall down and break your other hip.
I'm not breaking any hips.
Is there some place you got to get to later?
What is your hurry?
My hurry is I want to get there before next week.
At the rate you walk...
You want faster?
Divorce me and get yourself a younger man.
Tom Cruise, perhaps.
You think you're funny?
I do, as a matter of fact.
Then what would you do, Mr. Smarty-pants?
Mr. I'm so independent,
I don't need any help opening the pickle jar.
I got caught in a pickle.
You'd still be putting on your jacket if it wasn't for me.
Go ahead, hit me, why don't you?
Want to run me down?
All the time, honking like they own the place.
We could have driven.
Who could have driven? You?
You're going to give me a heart attack now?
What's the good of having a car if I never get to drive it?
You can't drive. You can't even read the street sign.
I still have my license.
Only because that girl at the DMV took pity on you.
All that flirting with her, oh.
It was embarrassing.
Brighton Beach Avenue.
As if you didn't know what street this was.
- I know what street this is. - Of course you know what street this is.
- You think I don't know what street this is? - Did I say you didn't?
I was reading the street sign.
A regular Evelyn Wood I married.
Hurry up, it's green.
The light's going to change.
Step up.
Okay.
You sure? We're not in any rush.
I said I'm okay.
Don't walk so fast.
I don't want to have to call an ambulance.
I don't want to think about trying to make that cell phone she sent us work.
Did you call her?
She called me.
- What did she say? - What do you think she said?
"How are you? How is Dad? What are you doing?"
And what did you say to her?
I told her we're doing the same thing we do every year.
Good.
She said she sent us a card, and did we get it.
- Did we get a card? - Did you see any card?
Maybe it just didn't get here yet.
She probably sent it late.
- Don't criticize. - I'm not criticizing.
You are criticizing.
I'm just saying, she probably forgot and then remembered at the last minute.
You wait and see.
The postmark will be yesterday,
as if it could get here from France in one day.
Where are you going?
I don't want to take the ramp.
Well, the ramp is easier.
I'll take the stairs.
You're going to kill me.
Today of all days, he decides he'll finally kill me...
Do away with me by making me take the stairs.
Give me a heart attack,
just watching you take the stairs.
They have smart police these days,
like the cute one on CSI.
They'll figure it out.
It'll make headlines...
Man kills wife on 63rd anniversary,
walking up stairs.
- Hey, hey! - Hoodlums!
They ought to arrest them.
Let's go have lunch.
Let's go. Come on. Let's go.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Lift your feet.
- I'm lifting. - No, you're shuffling.
- Lift your feet. Lift. - I'm lifting, I'm lifting.
All right. Come on.
I fixed your hat a little bit.
You're looking okay with your hat.
Yeah.
Looking pretty good-looking to me.
Look at me.
I look terrible.
I don't understand what happened.