(Wendy) The six of us met in elementary school
and we've been together ever since.
The, uh, sex, the Saturday nights
all of that came way later.
And not all of it was my idea, no matter what they say.
The boxes have been with us as long as we've been together
and they're a snapshot at any given time
of who we are.
The rules of the boxes are simple.
You can put something in, take something out
but you have to say why
and your box can never be empty.
And the rules for the six of us are just as simple
stay together, be a family
love each other, and never, ever apologize.
[rock music]
* Video video saved the day *
* Everyone's looking for a game to play *
* No matter what it takes *
* Don't matter if we're hangin' around *
* We're gonna take a chance *
* And gonna help ourself to the sound *
* Sipping my wine at the closing stage *
* Golf wing polos are the latest craze *
* I could never understand *
* Never understand what went wrong *
* You know I hate to say *
* But I'm never gonna get that far *
* I've been going nowhere 100 miles an hour *
* I've been going nowhere round and round and round *
* I've been saving myself *
* For a high-speed Saturday night *
* Yeah yeah yeah **
[music continues]
'Wendy!'
- Hi! - Hello!
Nice BMW.
Check this shit out.
Hi.
Where'd you get your purse? Target?
Hello.
Don't do it.
Hey, wo-man.
Seriously, guys. See her tan?
- Yeah. - Yes.
That's okay. We have all day.
- Are you serious? - Eww!
What? You should burn that hat.
- Yeah. - Wait. No, you can't.
You can't burn it. It's plastic. Toxic fumes.
Well, he could burn a little bit of it.
- Yeah, why not? - Symbolically.
- Come on. - Do it.
Burn it a little bit. It'll be good for you.
- Take the lighter. - Burn me!
Alright. Alright.
I don't like Von Dutch. Burn me.
- Come on, dude. - Do it.
Ooh, god, it smells really bad. Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Whoo-whoo! - There it goes!
Sorry...about that.
What?
I like your necklace.
"I like your necklace."
Bitch.
I think we've successfully oriented ourselves.
- Yep. - Shall we?
Ann, let go.
Wrong way.
Bye.
- Bye. - Bye.
Alright, so I'll just, uh, call you later.
Call me later.
Kiss her, yeah!
'What the fuck, man?'
Seriously.
When did being a lesbian become cooler
than blowing a rock star?
- You've not blown a rock star. - Nor have you.
- So? - So?
What if you could blow a rock star?
Ruin what we have?
Mmm..
That's my girl!
Ow! Yes.
- See ya. - Wait. Wait.
Had to cut our string.
[laughs]
- Bye. - See you later.
[bell rings]
You're not blowin' up the school, are you?
Did you follow me here?
I'm just trying to get the lay of the land, so..
[chuckles]
The lay of the land, huh?
Yeah.
I'm new, so I figured I could..
I don't know, memorize where everything was.
Not much to memorize.
So please tell me you're not blowing anything up.
(Wendy) 'Get the lights for me?'
'Okay, I read about this.'
And I really wanted to try it.
Apparently, the electrons get excited.
It's so cool how they have human names, you know.
Like, "excited," "aggressive," "lazy."
Ooh, some of them can even be "impure."
Hmm.
Let's see.
(Sean) 'Now that's pretty cool.'
But couldn't you just try this during class?
Nah. I hate chemistry.
[chuckles]
- Your secret's safe with me. - Hmm! Who would you tell?
Right. Uh, well, my mom's a chemist
so I'd never make fun of you for liking this stuff.
Wendy!
Come on.
My brother Nathan.
(Nathan) 'Can we go home already, please?'
You coming?
Hey, I'm Sean.
Hi.
(Wendy) 'These are the classrooms.'
(Nathan) 'Have you read "The Watchmen?"'
I have all of them if you wanna, uh, come over, hang out.
- I'll read 'em. - This is the library.
- Or you could come over-- - And this is the meeting area..
Where people like to get together
and talk about the lack of respect in the public bathrooms.
"Respect," again, the word that comes up all the time.
So tomorrow, come over, read 'em..
- Tomorrow or the.. - Nathan!
Wendy.
(Sean) This is me.
(Wendy) Ah, this is me.
(Sean) Yeah, I know.
(Wendy) You know?
How do you know me?
I mean, I-I saw you around, you know.
I didn't know who you were.
Well, I'm gonna head inside.
You could come over, you know?
Ask my mom about impure electrodes or what not.
- No, I'm cool. See ya. - Okay, fine.
- Why'd you call him home? - Why not?
* I like all the girls and all the girls like me *
* Everybody come on *
* It's not a question of confidence or retribution *
* I'd do anything to find a solution *
* Changed my name in 12 states *
* Just to escape this prosecution *
* You know what *
* I like all the girls and all the girls like me *
* They tell me so *
* Ha they tell me so *
* Oh *
* That's how I know oh *
* Yeah that's how I K-N-O-W **
[doorbell rings]
He's here.
- 'Hey.' - Hi.
Hey.
Oh, hey.
- Sorry. - Ahem.
Here, I, uh, I brought these.
I thought maybe you'd wanna read 'em.
Yeah. That's..
- That's cool, thanks. - Yeah.
Come on.
So, uh, well, thanks for inviting me over.
- Oh, we're neighbors. - Yeah.
- Holy shit. - Hmm?
My mom can barely make Pop-Tarts.
Actually, um, I made 'em, so..
I made everything.
- Did you make this for me? - Yeah, I did.
I mean, I don't really get a lot of guys over, so..
No. No, I...I-I mean, people.
No, no, no, that's..
I don't get a lot of people over.
Look that-that's okay. I didn't mean..
- I didn't mean anything.. - I just like to cook.
- That's the thing. - Okay.
I didn't, like, plan everything. That would be weird. I..
- I'm not gonna eat that one. - No.
- I'll put that one back. - Okay.
- This isn't a trap or anything. - I didn't think it was a trap.
You just wanna try these. I mean these are really easy to make.
- I don't wanna.. - Oh, shit!
Um..
Uh..
- Yeah. - Um..
I'll clean up. Can I help you clean up?
No, that's fine. I'll go wash my hands.
- Why don't I clean up for you? - Yeah, okay.
(Wendy) 'Hey, have you seen that kid Sean at school?'
Barely. He's so transparent, see-through.
He's from Chicago.
So...did he transfer as a senior?
I guess. Lots of people transfer.
Yeah, in third grade, people transferred.
People in our class have been there forever.
Dude, whatever.
He's boring. Pasty and colorless.
'Looks like a pigeon shat on his head.'
He's actually really nice.
He's nice. Nice.
He's nice.
Yeah, he was nice to Nathan.
Oh, your brother's easy to be nice to.
Like puppy dogs or homeless people.
- Billie. - What?
What?
- He's.. - Nice.
I'm not making him out to be Sean the Saint or anything.
- If we were normal girls.. - Which we're not.
...we'd be all over that shit. Okay, fresh meat.
'Off the rack.'
Thank god we're not normal.
- Yeah. Hey, hey. - Hey.
Really can't take you seriously with that on your head.
Pretty sexy.
Soda? Anyone? Would you like some?
- Please. - 'I would.'
Your ass looks good in those jeans.
- 'Thank you!' - 'You're welcome.'
(Sean) 'Oh, shoot.'
'Aw, Jesus.'
- Hey. - Hey.
I was supposed to take that out.
Oh. Okay.
- You need any help? - Sure. I mean, yeah.
Okay.
It was really sweet of you to hang out with Nathan.
Yeah, sure. Uh, Nathan's weird, but potentially very cool.
- Temporarily weird. - Hmm.
Empirical proof that, uh, phases are real.
- Yuck. - Yeah.
- Here, let me help you. - Oh, thank you.
There we go.
Is your hand okay?
Yeah, you know, just when you touch something gross.
Yuck.
Oh, no, not you.
Oh. Well, that's a relief.
- Not me. - I meant, I meant the trash.
Not you.
- I'm gonna go inside. - Yeah. Yeah.
You know, um, you're kind of weird, too.
Did you make that up? I like that line.
Who says it was a line?
Well, if you're being earnest, then that's mean.
So does that mean you're hopeful I'm trying to pick you up?
Pick me up?
[laughs]
What is this, like 1976?
- You're pretty funny. - No, I'm not.
- Yeah, you are. - Yeah.
You're smart, clever, funny, you like science.
And all that equals ugly.
Well, you're definitely not ugly.
Well..
You're just, um..
You're beautiful and smart.
Yeah, beautiful and smart.
I can't. I can't.
I can't.
- Okay. - I'm sorry.
- No, it's, uh.. - Shit.
It's okay, um..
Um, I'm not available.
If you don't know that already, then you're gonna find out soon.
[car honks]
[clears throat]
Alright, um..
Yeah, okay, I, um, I gotta..
Yeah.
- Sorry about everything. - No, it's fine.
Have a good night.
Fuck!
[car honking]
(Billie) 'Well, if it isn't Allyson'
'coming to put her claws in Sean.'
'She's quite the little wench.'
Yeah,apparently so.
Fuck, that was fast.
That poor boy has no idea what he's getting into.
Mommy. Mommy.
[indistinct chattering]
[giggling]
* Oh *
* Up baby up and down *
* Come on * * Down down *
* Till you touch the ground Up baby up and down *
* Come on *
* Shake it up like I knew you would *
* With a little bit of pole-shakin' action *
* A booty like that put boys in traction *
* Shake baby shake baby shake don't stop *
* Booties in the air grab her derriere.. *
(Allyson) So you met Wendy?
Uh...yeah, I met her.
Yeah. Then you know all about the group.
Uh, no.
Oh, come on. You know what I mean.
(Allyson) I mean, I understand why the guys do it, but the girls?
It's total depravity.
You know, you should talk to Ryan and Aaron.
I mean, you know, they got out.
* Put the boys in traction *
* Run run run grab them a honey-bun *
* Run run run run *
What do you mean, "got out?" Is it like a cult or something?
I guess.
I don't really know what else you could call it.
Don't you have to kill yourself to be in a cult?
Uh, I don't know, Allyson.
[clears throat] And-and they all have sex with each other.
It's pathetic, I know.
So how's what you're doing any different than..
...what they're doin'? I mean..
Well, it just is.
You know, I invite them here every single weekend
and they never show.
They just think they're so much better than us.
Uh, do you know they put a stripper pole?
That is so cool.
- I'm gonna take a turn. - Okay.
* Up down *
* Everybody want to give it up up and down *
* Stretchin' it you go up down *
* Mama want to do the up down *
(female #1) 'Ryan!'
- Hey. - Hey.
Hi!
[hip hop music]
* Such a small world *
* I seen her just the other day *
So you know Wendy, right?
Don't. Really.
Look I just want to, uh..
I heard you two were..
- I'm her neighbor, you know.. - Yeah.
[music continues]
Look, we had this..
It was like a..
It was an arrangement. Okay. The eight of us.
When Aaron and I decided we didn't wanna be part of it..
...we left.
It's not like I had to be de-programmed or anything.
Everybody wants it to be some big deal.
- So it's like this club-- - No, no.
- Okay, what is it then? - It isn't an "it."
Wait, hold on for one second, okay?
Hey, you can go on in. I'm just..
Alright, so, whatever..
Whatever this thing is
it's enough so I can't talk to her?
No, I..
Maybe you can talk to her at school. Okay?
You should, you know, you should join the Student Council.
We all, they're all in it.
- I don't do it anymore. - You're kiddin', right?
Student Council?
What, you thought we just hung out and smoked crack?
No. I don't know. I..
- I don't know. - Amnesty, we..
We did Model Congress.
Um, last year, we worked on two local campaigns.
Smart kids who have sex.
It happens.
[indistinct chattering]
- 'I have a question.' - 'What?'
(Wendy) 'If you could torture anyone, who would it be?'
(Robert) 'I would definitely wanna torture Jack Black.'
- Why? He's funny. - He's perfect torture material.
He's fat and cute. I love him.
He thinks he's funny, so he'd be laughing.
- Till I made him cry. - Who'd you torture?
(Billie and Wendy) Lindsay Lohan. Oh!
- How'd I know you'd say that? - 'I love you.'
- I love you. - I love you.
Obvious and tired.
- I love you. - Something original.
Hey, Ann, are you, uh..
- You putting in or taking out? - Taking out.
(Wendy) 'I'm surprised your box isn't empty.'
I'd torture Eminem without a doubt.
Why, Jonah? Why the E-man?
He's so smug, you know, it's like...I just wanna tie him up
and shock him and stuff, you know?
- Like.. - Bzzz!
In a tub of water, like Abu Ghraib. Like, zzz!
Nice. Oh, my god. He's a gay boy.
What do you want, guys? Oh! Oh! Oh!
The marbles that I stole in fifth grade.
- Why? - Because it's bad karma.
(Billie) 'You don't know anything about karma.'
I'll fuckin' show you bad karma, bitch.
Wait a second. I stole that marble.
- 'You did!' - You held onto it for me.
- 'Oh, my god!' - Oh, my god, that's right!
That's so right, right? Because somebody said..
- 'Rah rah rah..' - Lisa Nishi.
- 'Dude! Lisa Nishi.' - 'Lisa Nishi.'
(Ann) 'Totally Lisa Nishi.'
(Billie) 'Said if you stole the marble'
'that she would let you sit with her, like, during lunch period.'
- I never said. - Who plays marbles, anyways?
- It's like dip-shitty 1957. - 'So...yeah.'
- 'One Olsen.' - 'No!'
- That's all I'd ask for. - Uh-uh!
- I just need one. - No way.
If I could have one, I'd be so happy and stuff.
Seriously, it'd be, I don't know, completely delicious.
- And in the event.. - There's another one?
- Yeah. - You can just do it.
You wanna do it again?
Double the pleasure, and double the fun.
- 'Suck on that.' - 'Wendy, it's your turn.'
- 'I love you.' - 'I love you.'
- 'What?' - 'You can't mess with that.'
- 'After.' - 'Oh, really?'
Let's see. I'm puttin' in like a penis.
Oh, thank god. You know, I'm so sick of everyone taking out.
First, you put it in the box
and cry for whatever dumbass memory it stands for
then you fish it, saying you want it. It's like..
- 'Crying?' - You know what I mean?
(Billie) 'Who's crying now?'
- 'I'm totally crying.' - 'I'm just saying.'
- No tears. - 'I feel sad.'
- No tears. - 'That was a gift.'
No tears.
What's left in Senorita Price's box?
(Jonah) 'It's like, "Ooh, this is the'
'black nail polish I wore when I wanted to be Goth."'
(Wendy) 'Wait, what's it like?'
- 'Hey, it's my box!' - It's like, "Ooh!"
- 'Yes.' - In more ways than one, honey.
- It is your box. - 'Thank you.'
- 'Wendy, you putting that in?' - 'Yes.'
- 'Hoochie necklace.' - 'That was a gift.'
You know what, you're the one always saying
that we shouldn't apologize.
I don't think we're a fuckin' joke. I don't think it's funny.
I'm funny.
You're freakin' hilarious.
[instrumental music]
Okay, either... Abraham Lincoln or..
...me at 12 years old.
- 'Double whoa.' - Fuck, that's a good answer.
Yeah, I never thought of that.
Right there.
[laughing]
Well...I went.
- We all went. - We all went
- You gonna help me clean up? - No.
- Dude, you've a fuckin' maid. - I wish I cared.
- I really wish I cared. - Who'll report that to dad.
- I heard you. - I wanna get up.
[all moaning]
We suck!
Eat it!
[indistinct chattering]
I think Price got really cute this summer.
Can we stop using that word "cute?"
Bunnies are cute. Pet rats are cute.
Men are sexy.
They're not really men yet, are they?
- They will be. - They'll be our men.
And in 10 years they'll be the strongest, smartest men around.
- And they'll be all ours. - Hmm.
In 10 years?
- Yeah. - In 10 years, I won't be here.
Why not?
What, after all you've invested?
After almost 17 years of training, of learning.
What, you just think you're gonna start from scratch?
Are you serious? What-what's your plan?
Are you gonna get a mansion in Utah or something?
- We'll all live together. - Yes..
- You'll see. - Yes.
We'll all go to college together and get houses next door.
[instrumental music]
- Oh! - Ah, ha!
[indistinct chattering]
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
- You've, like...16 split ends. - Shut up.
[crickets chirping]
- When we go to college-- - 'Shh!'
(Billie) 'This is the best time.'
This is the time..
...when we don't have to think about things like college.
[crickets chirping]
It's Sunday.
- You're a genius. - Heh heh! Shh!
We're supposed to be having our quiet Zen time.
[indistinct chattering]
Ooh! Schedule! Give.
It's almost identical to mine.
What, you didn't hack into the computers
get us all into the same classes?
That would be wrong, and I'm never wrong.
I've seen you so wrong.
Besides, if we all have the same classes
we wouldn't have an opportunity to meet anybody new.
There isn't anybody new here, sweetheart.
- Except maybe the preschoolers. - No. Sean.
'He moved in next door to Wendy, went out with Allyson.'
(Price) 'Remember when..'
...tongue touching was like the weirdest thing in the world?
You know...you think that-that kissing somebody new
is kinda like that, like, like touching tongues?
Think I totally skipped tongue touching.
I went straight for tongue wrestling.
I seem to recall.
I recall you were my willing victim.
That's what I remember.
Oh, yes!
Nothing's classier than a girl goin' down on you in a basement.
I love that you are the arbiter of class.
Yeah, me too.
- Mmm. - Mmm.
- I'm jealous! - Ha ha ha. Oh!
- Hmm! - Hello.
(all) Muah.
- Hey, guys. - Hello.
Hey, guys.
(Price) Rrr-r-r.
(male #1) 'I think what Sophocles is saying..'
'...is that man..'
'...like people, like man and woman..'
'...they're in this battle that can't be won.'
But they have to fight, you know..
...'cause they have this nature.
This, what do you call it, nature?
Like a Sicilian.
Right on. That's great.
I'm just a guy, I'm not The Man.
You can contribute. Go ahead, talk.
Okay, uh..
Well, see, I-I-I actually... I think you mean, um, Sisyphus.
Oh, wait, we don't, um... we don't correct people.
We, you know, gather together and we add things
and we contribute and discuss. But we don't correct.
Uh, everything that's brought to the circle has merit.
Do you have anything that you wanna contribute?
- Promethean. - Wendy.
You might as well really help him out.
Promethean, not Sisyphean.
And for the record, not everything said here has merit.
[students chuckling]
Scheisse.
- Hey, will you walk me home? - Yep.
Bye.
Love you guys, and I totally mean it.
No, she doesn't.
[Wendy and Billie laughing]
So how many schools do we have in common?
- For next year? - Yeah.
- Uh.. - No, right now, dumbass.
Yeah, uh..
- Careful. - I don't know, maybe five.
- Out of? - Uh, six or seven?
- Oh. - Yeah.
Those are good odds, we'll all get in the same school?
Ooh, well, Jonah will get in wherever he wants.
But he'll go where we go.
- Hmph. - Why?
Oh! Oh!
- I'll throw you in the water! - Oh!
Sorry. Shh! It's okay.
- I'm not talking. - Everything under control.
- We're fighting. - I love you. I mean it.
- We're fighting. - Love you. Mean it.
Ladies.
- One, two. - One, two.
- Testing. - I need a mike.
- Are you trying to miss them? - Yes.
- Up, up. - Totally rad!
(Wendy) 'Let's see, Maude, what the lovely Billie'
has for us tonight.
- Are you ready, Rhonda? - Ladies and ladies.
That's me and you!
Get your sandwiches out and your wafers
'cause we're ready to bid on some sexy fellas.
First up, we have Johnny!
(all girls) Whoo!
- 'Johnny.' - Oh, my god!
- I do say.
Wearin' the traditional cowboy look with a bit of pizzazz.
Get on up there, monkey.
I gotta say, I've never seen pants so tight in my life.
- Look at that! - Is that right?
That's fabulous!
That's about the best piece of ass I've seen in years.
I'd do him eight Sundays in a row and a Sabbath.
Witty! Thank you.
- Hey, sexy. - Whoo-o-o!
- Can I make an addition here? - Yes, absolutely.
- Crybaby. - Cry..
A moment of silence for Depp.
- Okay. - And anyway.
- Nice. - 'Love him.'
Next up, we have Bernard.
- Bernard! - Bernard!
Ay, dios mio!
[girls cheering]
Oh, my god!
- Look at his hair. - Get up over there.
(Maur) 'You can see the fabulous faux leather pants.'
'Those were featured last week in "US Weekly" by Nicole Richie'
'actually, in a bra.'
'Didn't really fit her though.'
[girls laughing]
- 'You look amazing.' - 'Attaboy.'
- You think so? - 'Amazing.'
- That ass. - I'm learnin' to walk in them.
'How long did it take to do his hair?'
- 'Oh, baby.' - '10 seconds.'
'What? I've tried to do that with mine. It's short.'
Pull the pants down!
- Those look very nice. - Whoo!
- Eat the microphone. Eat it. - Oh, no!
- Yes! - No!
Oh, look, he's like a little brontosaurus.
- Oh, god. - That's gross.
- I'm gonna vomit. - 'Very nice.'
And last, but definitely not least, we have...Chip!
- Chip? - Chip!
(Wendy) 'Brrr! Awoo-o-o!'
[all cheering]
* Something is missing *
* Yeah.. *
Yeah!
- I love the anarchist touch. - 'Yeah.'
Who's got dollar bill? We're gonna--
- Yeah. - I don't. But I have cookies.
- Bling, bling! - Put 'em in the shorts!
Hoo!
I am definitely feeling special at this moment.
Oh! Look at that ass, Maur! Oh, my god!
Oh, my goodness! The belt, an added touch. I like it.
- That's a new model. - Whoo!
Very nice.
'They've been prepping for the Olympics all summer, George.'
Very nice!
- Tell us a little something-- - 'Gotta make your own money.'
(Price) 'Make your own money!'
I don't have dollar bills, but I have cookies.
- Dance, little monkey. - Yeah.
Whoo!
[all cheering]
'Lovely!'
Billie, I'd like to congratulate you on a wonderful display.
Your fashion lineup's so beautiful, so moving.
So revolutionary.
Now if you'd all like to join us on the table.
We slaved over this meal all day long.
Bitches, I want my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
[laughing]
Yeah.
- Morning. - 'Morning.'
- Morning, mom. - Morning.
[sighs]
I would kill for your body.
Best thing I can say is don't get pregnant.
I'd have a flat stomach by now if I'd..
...stayed a person and not become a mother.
Mom!
Exactly.
[birds chirping]
Geez. Can we go?
Hold on.
How?
- You go. - Where?
- Go see if he wants a ride. - Shut up!
He'll think I'm gay.
[laughing]
What?
Why?
I don't know.
- So go! - But I'm not gay.
- Why do you even care? - I completely care.
Are you gonna ask a girl out today?
- Hmm? - No.
No?
Then be a little gay, for me.
You be a little gay.
[instrumental music]
Guess you're our new neighbors.
Yeah. I'm your next door Nathan.
Sorry?
I mean, I'm your next door neighbor, Nathan.
Helen.
Okay.
[birds chirping]
[music continues]
Well?
I forgot. Sorry.
I..
What?
(Wendy) Hi!
- Hey. - Um..
My brother was supposed to...come over here
and ask if Sean wanted a ride to school.
- What happened? - 'Well..'
...I think he was dropped on his head as a child.
My brother, not your son.
- Well, that would be great. - 'Yeah.'
The ride, not the head drop.
[water gushing]
[knocking on window]
You rang?
Sorry, I thought that was Sean's room.
It is.
Tell him he's got a ride waiting.
- I heard you were a scientist. - Yeah, I am, actually.
I'm in a bit of a holding pattern.
But are you interested in science?
Yeah. A little bit, so..
- Ready? See ya. - Yeah.
[indistinct chattering]
[bell ringing]
- Wendy. - We need your help.
Billie's acting as the big bad wolf again.
Dorito?
- Is there a problem, ladies? - Women.
(Billie) 'We wanna be referred to as women.'
(Robert) 'Women.'
Yes, women, I think it's time to go.
We're leaving?
Yeah! We have a senior meeting and...some other...things.
- 'Okay.' - To do.
- I'll go to a "thing." - No, I said, some other things.
- 'That too.' - Hey, psst!
'Don't be an instigator.'
I'm just making sure
our little housewife is bein' a good girl.
What do I always tell you?
Because they named her Ryan.
(Billie) 'After a soap opera.'
[exhales]
Don't name kids after soap operas.
How many times do we have to tell you people?
[crickets chirping]
[thud]
[thumping]
[thumping continues]
[thumps]
[thud]
[thumping]
[thud]
[thumping]
Hope you weren't counting on a basketball scholarship.
[chuckles]
You know, it's impossible to be with me.
You know that, right?
You wanna be with me, don't you?
Well, I wanna kiss you.
I mean, pretty much every time I see you, I wanna kiss you.
You know Ryan?
She was one of my best friends. Now we don't even talk anymore.
- And Aaron? - Aaron.
I've seen him naked a bunch of times, you know.
He's like my ex-boyfriend.
You have ex-girlfriends, right? It's the same.
- I don't know if it's the same. - I know you don't.
It doesn't make any sense.
What? Why I'm so naturally athletic?
[thud]
You never even asked me if it's true.
Well, is it?
It's like a Greek tragedy waiting to happen.
[grunts]
I don't live in that world.
And what world is that?
The world of boyfriends, of-of holding hands, of first dates?
No, you jackass.
Of disposable girlfriends and bracelets for blowjobs
and making out and macking and hooking up and going down
and text-messaging some guy that's gonna
come all over my shirt. Ha ha!
That world.
You don't know what you're missing.
Really? I can take a guess.
Okay. So what about the other world?
The world where there's just one girl and one guy
and, you know, we just go out with each other. Nobody else.
- What about that world? - Hmm.
You mean fairytale land?
I've heard of that place.
Well, what if it was real?
[instrumental music]
You gonna rescue me, huh?
Just you and me against the world?
- If you want me to. - Hmm.
[music continues]
[whispering]
Hmm?
Did you just sigh?
- Um...ahem. No, it was-- - Did I hear a little sigh?
There was no sigh. I made a noise.
- Kinda sounded like a girl in.. - Christ.
...a romance novel.
Well, I don't know what to say. I just made a noise. It was..
[moaning]
[moaning mockingly]
- Mmm. - Yes.
[both laughing]
[dog howling]
[Sean laughing]
- You hear that? We did that! - Awoo-o-o!
Leave them, okay?
Just be with me.
- Maybe. - Yeah.
Maybe what?
- Maybe. - Maybe what?
Maybe.
- Price? - Oh, thank god.
What?
- You're gonna laugh. - No, I'm not.
- Your hair. - Yeah.
I brought these pictures into this guy. He was really cool.
He had tattoos on his fingers and..
- Wow. I just, uh.. - You don't like it?
I think it's cool.
What? You know..
I mean, you think people will notice?
Yeah, yeah.
- Be worse if they didn't. - Would it?
I heard you thought I got, uh, hotter.
Mmm.
- I think I said cuter. - Oh.
- Is there a difference? - No, you did.
Lost weight, you've been workin' out.
And got a nose job.
- What? - Yeah.
And I do crunches every day.
A 100, sometimes 500.
I don't understand. A nose job?
[whispers] Yeah.
I wanna look good for you guys.
I mean, it's worth it to me to have all of you, each of you.
And, and get 10 more surgeries
and do a 1000 more sit-ups for you.
I mean, wouldn't you? For all of us?
Hey.
Okay.
You wanna walk over to Robert's with me?
Okay.
[instrumental music]
Oh, no. I can't.
[instrumental music]
(Wendy) Sorry.
Hi.
Beer?
Really? Beer?
I don't know.
[spits]
[whispering] I really..
I really tried. I just wasn't like, um...wasn't..
Listen, don't ever fake it, right?
Right.
Because faking it is for dumbass girls
who hook with up with the first guy
in baggy jeans and some earth-fucking SUV.
[laughing]
And we are not those girls.
You...are not that girl.
Really?
Then what kind of girl am I?
A very bad girl.
Seriously.
'And when she was good, she was very good.'
But when she was bad..
...she was horrid.
[thud]
[gasps]
Oh, shit!
Hi.
Are you okay?
Um..
I don't know what I'm doing here.
I can't promise I'm not gonna jump you
in the middle of the night.
[instrumental music]
["Let Go"]
* I swear I don't know *
* What time it is *
* But I know this means *
* Nothing much to me *
* And I hear the voices *
* Telling me to let go *
* Let go *
* Telling me to let go *
* Let go *
* Telling me to let go *
* To let go **
I can't.
[scoffs]
Y-you can't, and then you can.
You don't, and then you do.
How much more am I supposed to take?
- Just till graduation. - Huh!
- Just till graduation. - Oh, great.
Okay. Alright, fine.
Wait, wait, wait.
What, now you want me?
- Why? - Yeah?
You can't wait seven months for me?
- If you were gonna-- - Seven months.
If you were gonna join the Army, then, yeah, maybe.
But you're gonna hook up with three guys for seven months.
You know what? I don't think I can.
Hey.
Yeah?
You wanna be like your parents?
Yeah, I guess. They seem pretty happy.
Yeah, I guess.
- You know what? - What?
You should meet me this afternoon.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
- Maybe. Maybe. Okay? - Maybe?
Maybe, yeah.
[bell ringing]
- Wait here. - Oh.
Oh-h-h.
- Hi. - Hi.
Um...is Sean home?
Uh, I think he's still at school.
Okay.
So, uh, he actually lent me..
He, um..
He lent me these comics.
I read them.
Do you need help with anything?
Unpacking?
So do you stay home all day?
You mean, like a housewife?
[scoffs] God, no.
I work for a drug company in research and development.
I used to teach science part-time, but you know..
Now that Sean's grown up I..
...I get to have a real full-time job.
'So...you didn't go to work today, right?'
Uh, no. I took a little time to get settled.
You know, but..
...doesn't seem to be that much to do.
What does, uh, your..
...um, you know, Sean's dad...what's he do?
Oh, Bill.
He's in finance, um, you know, banking.
The funny thing is, he's-he's, like, really bad with money.
Terrible.
E-except if it's like millions.
I guess it's not that funny.
No. Guess not.
[chuckles]
Wow!
Y-you made that from my cupboard?
Yeah, I mean, it'd be better with some fresh hazelnut
and some powdered sugar.
But it's, it's still really good.
Here, let me get you a fork.
Mmm.
You cook a lot?
Yeah. At home, a lot.
You know, first it just started out
with, you know, the simple, basic
just steak, rice, and green beans
not that my mom or my sister even noticed, but..
And then I just started to teach myself lots of things.
You know, I'm pretty much self-taught.
Just, I just taught myself
how to make, um, fresh bread and pastries.
'Those are really, really easy.'
Who knew? He he.
I'll teach you a couple things.
Um, for...Bill.
Uh...but right now, I'm actually working
on a glazed salmon with risotto.
- Oh. - So, yeah.
Did you know you have to drive 90 minutes for frisee?
It's ridiculous, but..
You can cook for me anytime.
Really?
Absolutely.
[moaning]
(Wendy) 'Oh! Oh!'
(Sean) Ow! Ow!
Ow!
You landed on your butt.
No, I landed on my knee. And I broke it, actually.
- It wasn't that bad. - Thanks.
- Ow! - 'Shut up. That didn't hurt.'
- No, your rings. - Oh. Sorry.
- Alright, that's okay. - Wow. Hit me again.
Come on, hit me for real.
- What? - Yeah, come on.
Hit me for real.
I wanna see what it feels like to get spanked.
- No, I'm not gonna hit you. - Come on.
If I'm telling you it's okay, then you won't hurt me.
Come on, spank me.
- No. - Why not?
- Because-- - I've never been spanked.
Yeah, well, I've been spanked, okay?
My...I got spanked when I was a kid for stealing.
It hurts, it's cruel. I'm never spanking my kids.
- I'm not gonna spank you. - 'You have to.'
'You know, sometimes..'
'...they're bad...and they have to learn.'
I never learned.
[sighs]
Spank me. Please.
[sighs]
- Come on, just once. - Alright.
This is, this is gonna be quick and then..
[thwacks]
[chuckling]
- You know what? This is weird. - Keep going.
- Why'd you stop? Keep going. - No, I can't.
This-this is abnormal.
Uh.
- I'm not abnormal. - No.
I didn't say you were abnormal.
- I just said this was-- - 'Fine, fine, fine.'
I'm abnormal, and you just want the girl next door.
- You are the girl next door. - You know what I mean.
'Look, come back, please?'
- No, I have calculus. - 'This is ridiculous.'
- Yeah, yeah, well, so do I. - 'So, go to work.'
Don't you want me to take you out on dates? You know, like..
We'll sip ice cream sodas
we'll have picnics in the park, that kinda thing?
'I mean, don't you want that?'
Shouldn't we have done that before we had sex?
'I'm sorry. I don't..'
I mean...I don't know how to do this.
I-I don't know how to be a girlfriend.
I'm not sure I even wanna know how.
Come here.
Get over here.
What do you want?
Uh...I want world peace.
Oh, look, a sarcastic man.
Able to be a jerk in a single bound.
Yeah, bite me.
[grunts]
No, no! Don't bite me!
[breathing heavily]
You're not gonna break me.
I promise.
[thwacks]
Oh.
So you guys never did this before..
...on your Saturday nights?
Ah...no.
No?
I don't know...how much I believe you.
Are we talking or spanking?
We're spanking.
Ow, fucker.
Everybody has to be into it.
Not everybody likes to get spanked I guess.
- 'Do you?' - Mm-hmm.
Ow!
- Stop. - No.
Put your fuckin' hands down, okay?
There's no hitting me, you hear that?
There's no hitting me.
Oh, yeah, we're making rules now?
Yeah.
I thought you'd like it if we had rules.
Don't you have rules in your little club?
Stop...calling it that.
Well, what would you call it?
They're my best friends.
Known them since elementary school.
I love them.
(Wendy) Why?
Ow.
[thwacking]
Okay, okay, okay. Alright.
It's your game, okay?
[breathing heavily]
You make it sound perverted..
...when you call it that.
(Sean) You don't think it's perverted?
No, I don't.
[breathing heavily]
I never worry..
...like about if I'm pretty or sexy.
Never worry about going to parties or being alone.
Because I love them.
They're really cool people.
Who you like to fuck.
So?
I like to sleep with you too.
You're never gonna make me feel like they do.
[sighs]
So are those the only rules?
Be honest.
That's the other one.
I guess you're breakin' that one with me.
[whispers] Yeah.
Come here.
So were you lying?
When?
When you said you loved me?
- I never said that. - But you do.
Yeah.
Yeah, so say it then.
I love you.
[chuckles]
Yeah?
Say it back.
Maybe I will if, uh..
- No, you don't have to. - I love you.
[whispers] I love you.
This is where we kiss now, right?
[instrumental music]
["So What"]
* I can't stand it *
* I'm gonna explode *
* My insides comin' out *
* So what *
* Do I do now *
* So what *
* Do I do now *
* So what *
* If I don't know how *
* So what *
* So what **
[moaning]
She won't do it, will she?
(Billie) Huh?
What, are you thinking of running away?
How 'bout we play the fantasy game Jonah was talking about?
We'll hold you down.
- We'll make you scream. - Shut up, Billie.
(Billie) 'You've no idea what it means if she leaves.'
- 'It doesn't mean anything.' - 'We're fine.'
- Stop being a brat. - 'Can't force her.'
- 'That's a rule.' - 'You can stop if you want.'
- Yeah-- - No! We can't fucking stop!
We don't stop! We don't turn back!
Hey, psycho, let me know when Billie returns.
Fuck you!
Hey! Look at me, huh? Look at me.
[sighs]
Look at me.
Look at you, okay?
We are 17
and we are never gonna look like this again.
We want it. Our bodies want it.
I don't want it.
Well, fuck you.
- Billie, Billie! - Fucking whore!
- Fuckin' bitch! - How original!
- Alright. Alright. - Stop the fight. It's a joke.
You either do Jonah right now or you're gone.
- Do him? - Hold on!
Do him? We don't fucking do each other!
- Who the fuck are you? - Hey! I'm not kidding!
- Wait! Let's stop. - I'm not kidding!
- Let's just stop. - Shut the fuck up, Ann!
- Billie! - Shut up! Huh?
You're gonna go crying to your boyfriend?
Tell him how you almost cheated on him?
- Shut up, Billie. - 'Hold on.'
- 'What?' - 'Boyfriend?'
Shut up.
[breathing heavily]
Run.
Run!
[door closes]
* Pinned to the earth *
* Like the scars on my hand aren't you son.. *
- Is that your boyfriend? - Yes.
Look how cute and cuddly you guys are together.
Maybe you're thinking about getting married
and having kids. Or maybe have kids
and then get married, and get furniture together.
- Shut the door. - You know what is so fucked up?
Nobody ever gets to be a girlfriend.
It's always my girlfriend, my car, my dog!
It is my car.
You're a barely conscious amoeba willing to give up
your own fucking individuality for a dick!
Aah!
I'd rather not have sex again than be like you!
* ...won't go *
* The air weighs a ton *
* What have we become now? *
* What have we become? *
* What have we done? *
* What have I done? *
* We lit forth the run *
* What have we become? *
* What have I done? *
* Fallin' down **
[knocking on door]
[clears throat]
- Uh, is, uh, is Helen here? - Uh..
Could you just tell her that Nathan's here with the salmon?
Look, uh, this isn't really a good time, alright?
We're kind of in the middle of somethin'.
- What is that? - It's a salmon with risotto.
I promised Helen that when I got it finished
I'd bring it over for her. If it's okay, can I come in--
- Okay, look, uh, Mason-- - Nathan.
Nathan, could you either just, uh, leave that here
or, like, leave a message, okay?
Actually, if I could just--
I gotta get back to her right now, alright?
Go home. You can bring your glazed, whatever the--
- Salmon. - Salmon tomorrow, okay?
Go home!
Kid outside wants to deliver a fish.
(Helen) 'You are such a shit.'
- 'What?' - 'He's a nice kid.'
[indistinct chatter]
Hmm.
[humming]
[chuckling]
- Is this okay? - Uh, well, you tell me.
I don't know. It's not too, like, cute or something?
- Okay, hold on for a second. - What? Hey.
How about this? How about we lock down the premises
here to make sure nobody sees us holding hands, huh?
Hey, this is hard for me, too.
- Be nice. - I am nice.
Be nice.
You're right.
I'll be nice, okay?
I'll be nice.
It's just holding hands.
- This is okay, I promise. - Alright.
This, this is okay.
Well, now this..
...this might be breaking some rules, right?
[intense music]
(Billie) What?
[indistinct chatter]
[stifles sob] I hate you.
[bell ringing]
What?
[sighs]
You left.
Oh, god. Jesus.
- Stop. - Hey! You left.
Now's not the time to push people away.
Really? What is it the time for, Ryan?
You know what? You're lucky.
See, when I left, I only had Aaron.
You've got me and Aaron..
...and Sean.
Lucky me.
- I knew you'd leave. - Mm.
You don't know shit.
[laughs]
- Wendy. - What?
You sound ridiculous when you swear.
What's up with your slut clogs?
Aaron loves sluts.
I like doing nice things for him.
Why did you quit Amnesty..
...and student government?
Billie.
Yeah, so you quit.
Yeah.
Sean's great.
[birds chirping]
[dog barking]
Hey.
You look nice.
Thanks.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
He didn't put some sort of voodoo spell on you?
No.
Good.
Hey, you know..
...I wanted to leave once, before Ryan and Aaron even.
Why didn't you?
Too chicken I guess.
Was it for another guy?
Yeah.
Anyway, I just..
...I just wanted to tell you that I was proud of you.
You know what? It was brave.
Stupid, but brave.
I wish I could've done it, but..
...whatever.
I gotta tell you, though, if I left
I'd make sure to destroy it all on my way out.
You know, like scorched earth, American GI style.
If you leave the enemy resources, uh..
...they'll use them.
Billie took your box.
I'm sorry.
I'll see you.
[instrumental music]
Your friends...all of us..
...we don't wanna let you go, and we won't do it.
What if I want to?
If you were a mother and your kid was about to lose a limb..
...I don't know..
...wouldn't you maybe fight to keep it?
It's not really the same thing.
- Oh, well, we feel it is. - You speak for everyone now?
- Yeah. - Mm.
I don't believe you.
Sorry.
This is you terrified..
...alone..
...and you have no idea what to do.
He wants me, and that kills you.
Not so far.
I'm not the box, Billie.
You are.
You're a sad...pathetic..
...limited, little box.
[intense music]
[birds chirping]
[knock on door]
(Wendy) 'Hello!'
Hi.
Oh, god forbid your kiddie porn gets ruined.
That's not what's in here.
It's all puppies, and "I love unicorns," and tapioca pudding.
- It's not porn. It's just-- - They made you do it, right?
Screw you.
I don't know how to do this.
I mean, what do we do now? We fight?
You don't get to be the innocent little girl after...
- Uch! - Uch, what? What, this?
What, this stuff? This is real. This happened.
What are you so afraid of?
You just want me to magically become a virgin again?
- Yes. - You're not fuckin' serious.
I want you to burn it, okay? I want you to burn that box.
- You're delusional. - I mean, does this..
Does any of this have any value to you?
Imagine all the memories that you've ever had
all the embarrassing, funny, great moments with a girlfriend
without whatever, fucking by yourself.
Imagine it all in one place. Now you burn it.
I would.
[kicks box]
Don't be average.
It's not different.
Either you're in this with me or you're not.
But I showed up.
I am not a new me, okay?
I'm not new now just because you met me!
Okay, fine. Fine.
You could really forget about everything, huh?
You could forget everything if I just burned that box?
- Yes. - That I was somebody different.
Yes, I would.
And if you could just stop reminding me of it every day.
[intense music]
What are you doing?
I miss her.
Fuck her!
Are you crying?
Yeah, fuck you too!
Fuck you, Billie..
...you manipulative bitch.
Fuck you.
- You're gonna come on Saturday? - Yeah.
Yeah. Do you remember what you're saying yes to?
No. Do you? Well, we're having dinner with my parents.
(female #2) 'Where's your little group now?'
'Whore!'
(Sean) 'You're gonna do it tonight, right?'
'Wendy, you're gonna burn the box, right?'
[girls jeering]
What?
[jeering continues]
[girls laughing]
- 'Roll on out, Billie!' - 'Aww!'
[girl mocking] 'Oh, poor Billie!'
- I have to see if she's okay. - No, come on.
Please don't go. Don't go to her.
[bell ringing]
No, I'm not gonna burn it.
I'm not gonna say I'm sorry for what happened.
- Keep your voice down. - I'm not gonna apologize!
I gave up five of the best people in the world for you!
- People who you slept with! - So what!
So what? They meant something to me!
I just walked out and destroyed my life
and walked away for this!
This is me, okay? I'm offering you me.
Me in exchange for the five of them, okay?
That's all I'm offering you.
This..
This is a fairy tale, okay?
That's what this is.
W-Wendy..
You don't want me as a girlfriend.
[intense music]
[chuckles]
[chuckling]
You remember Miss Heise's class?
We tortured her daughter Greer.
Well, she carried those book bags.
Oh, she smelled fucking terrible.
[laughing]
I totally remember that.
And then in, like, the third grade..
...what? I decided to do this dance..
...remember, when my parents split up?
Like that movie, "Flashdance"?
- We saw on it on cable. - Oh!
- Yeah. - And I can see it. I see.
I can see little third grade me
like, getting up there to do the dance.
I wanna tell her to stop, and I can't.
I am so embarrassed just even thinking about it.
Yeah.
[jingling]
Hey, your friends, all of us..
I..
...I don't wanna let you go.
I love you.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
Hug me, bitch.
He wants me to burn the box.
Of course, because then he could pretend
like you're a virgin
and then he'd be the conquering hero.
What's so heroic about conquering a labia?
Labia?
What, you mean like vag?
[both laughing]
"Vag." I hate that word.
Hey, you totally, like, know that we're, like
two of the most awesomest people in school, right?
Yeah, we're so the awesomest.
And you do know..
...that he's not gonna let you or your labia go, right?
If he asks, I'll just say no.
Or you say yes and you end up shitting all over this family.
It's not gonna happen.
It's not.
Look, just saying it twice isn't gonna make it true.
You have to make it impossible for him to ask.
'You've to go in there and show him the worst in you'
'so he knows it's over.'
Yeah, scorched earth, huh?
[guitar music]
Hi.
(Billie) 'We're scaring you.'
- You're disturbing us, Billie. - Oh, gosh, we're sorry.
Do it.
She ever tell you where the scar came from?
All the girls knew about it, but the guys didn't.
Didn't know about Uncle Bob.
I believe it was "Dear old Uncle Bob."
And that, what, he smelled like Aqua Velva
and tasted like Doritos?
And that dear old Uncle Bob, well, he liked to touch you.
Shut up.
- 'Bitches.' - Billie, let's go.
(Billie) 'Ryan here..'
...she liked it.
What, um..
...it made her feel all..
How did it make her feel, Wendy?
Hot.
Hot?
What about, um..
...what about gang rape, huh?
- We used to play gang rape. - That wasn't me.
We used to pretend like we were firemen?
Or how you used to cut yourself with an Exacto blade?
'You thought you were a vampire in eighth grade.'
Stop!
How about the fact that Jonah and Robert
had been sleeping together for three years, huh?
Or how Ann's mother used to tie her hands together
so she wouldn't touch herself anymore?
Or how I pissed all over myself at the spelling bee
in third grade?
Or how Aaron puked when you got your period in fifth?
What about the fact that Price cheated on us at spring break
'and gave everyone crabs?'
How about that?
Yeah, we're a fucking awesome family!
You can burn the box.
I don't need it anymore.
[sobbing]
[guitar music]
[OK Go singing "Let It Rain"]
* Super automatic pilot motor runnin' down *
* Circles in the parking lot *
* Self-sustaining system *
* Bit her in the neck and quick and kissed her *
* And took all she got *
* Did you come here to dance? *
* What's in your glass? *
* Do you feel better? *
* Let it rain let it pour *
* Hallelujah *
* Let it rain let it pour *
* Cruise-control distressed her *
* Kind of cursed and kind of blessed her *
* Engine runnin' on the fumes *
* Vision blue and blurry *
* Fallin' angels in a flurry *
* Spinnin' through the empty room *
* Did you come here to dance? *
* What's in your glass? *
* Do you feel better now? *
* Let it rain let it pour *
* Hallelujah *
* Let it rain let it pour *
* Super automatic pilot motor running down *
* Circles in the parking lot *
* Self-sustaining system *
* Bit her in the neck and quick and kissed her *
* And took all she got *
* Let it rain let it pour * * Hallelujah *
* Let it rain let it pour *
* Hallelujah *
* Let it pour *
* Hallelujah *
* Let it pour *
* Hallelujah *
* Let it pour **
[music continues]
[Space Mtn singing "So What"]
* I can't stand it I'm gonna explode *
* My insides comin' out *
* There is a thin layer filling these cracks *
* And it's made of doubt *
* But I can't doubt this not just yet *
* The good is much too great *
* There is a thin layer lining this cloud *
* And it's carrying its weight *
[music continues]
* So what do I *
* Do now? *
* So what *
* If I don't know how *
* So what do I do now? *
* So what? *
* So I can't stand it I'm gonna implode *
* My outsides comin' in *
* There is a brick wall building itself *
* And it wants it all forgotten *
* But I can't forget not just yet *
* The good is much too fine *
* There is a brick wall *
* Aiming to destroy and sneak in a little sunshine *
[music continues]
* So what do I do now? *
* So what do I do *
* Now? *
* So what *
* If I don't know how *
* So what? *
* So what? **
[music continues]