Can I sit here?
If you feel like it.
Someone barfed there, fourth period.
Hi, Dawn. Sorry to bother you.
We were just wondering, are you a lesbian?
-Well, are you? -No.
Liar.
She made a pass at me.
Lesbo, lesbo, lesbo.
You little faggot!
Fucking faggot. You're a faggot, aren't you?
- Aren't you? - No.
- "I'm a faggot." Admit it. - No.
"I'm a faggot."
You look beautiful in this suit, Troy.
-Get over here. -Don't you?
You fucking faggot. You're a faggot, aren't you, Troy boy?
- Aren't you? - No!
Admit it. Say, "I'm a faggot."
- Say it. - No!
- Say it, faggot. Say it! - No!
-I'm a faggot. -Leave him alone.
Hey, guys, watch out. It's the Wiener dog!
It's dog-face over here.
You guys are such jerks.
What's the matter, ugly? You like faggots?
Let's get out of here. Her face is killing me.
Are you all right, Troy?
Leave me alone, Wiener dog.
Hey, that didn't sound too much like "Satisfaction."
-What's the matter? -I don't know. It says B-flat.
-I'm just playing what it says. -Play me an A.
-This is bad. -We sound like shit.
I knew this band idea was gonna suck.
What does "suck" mean?
Missy, go play with Dawn.
We've gotta practice more. It's our first time.
What do you think the Stones sounded like their first time?
-Yeah. -Okay.
I'm gonna close the garage door so we can get privacy.
Okay, let's take it from the top.
One, and a two, and a one, two, three, four.
Toss-up question: spell the word "satellite."
S-A-T-E-L-L-I-T-E.
Correct. You got 20 points in that bonus.
You're not supposed to drink in the TV room.
-Drop dead, lesbo. -Riverdale has 200. Toss-up.
- London, England is located.... - Mommy, Dawn called me "lesbo."
- Hold on, Rita. - The Thames.
- Oh, Dawn. - Now, for 10 points....
Dawn, I want to speak to you right now.
- Stupid. - Purple Heart.
Correct. Name two features of the Purple Heart.
Tattletale.
- What did you call her? - She was bothering me!
I don't care. Now, are you going to apologize?
- No! - Apologize or you're punished.
- But she was bothering me! - No! That's it! Go to your room!
- She's such a little brat! - I don't want to hear it! Go!
- Little moron! - Go!
American Revolution.
That's correct. You got all 40 points.
Toss-up: what organism is the--?
- Color of the dress. - I never would have guessed.
Right. Isn't that neat?
- I love her little profile. - Let's go to the phones.
Hi, Missy. Is Dawn home?
Yeah, but she can't play. She's punished.
Stop it.
-Mrs. Grissom? -Yes, Dawn.
Brandon's trying to copy my answers.
You lie.
You were too, and you know it.
Quiet!
Dawn, Brandon, you can see me here at 3.
I'm giving you both detention.
Oh, hi.
You didn't come in here to wash your hands.
-Yes, I did. -You came in here to take a shit.
No. Really. I don't have to go.
-My hands were just dirty, that's all. -Liar.
I can smell you from here.
-Please let me go. -First...
...take a shit.
-But I'll be late for science. -Well, you're not leaving until you do.
You know, Lolita, me and my neighbor are starting this new club.
And if you want, you can be vice president.
Fuck you.
And I really wasn't the one who was cheating. I'm innocent.
I know.
You're always innocent.
And Brandon's always guilty.
-But Brandon was-- -You stay away from Brandon.
He's mine.
Got it?
-Of course, but-- -"But" shit.
Now...
...go on.
Leave it. I want to make sure you shit.
I want to see it with my own eyes.
Why do you hate me?
Because you're ugly.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Mrs. Grissom, I'm finished.
Let me see.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
-Mrs. Grissom, can I take a retest? -No.
I know I could have done better if none of this had happened. I was nervous.
I said, no, Dawn.
But, Mrs. Grissom, I really wasn't the one who was cheating.
And if I could just redo this test, just once. Please?
I'm better than a D-minus.
Stop grade grubbing.
Don't you have any dignity?
Now, I want you to write a 100-word essay...
...on the subject of dignity...
...and hand it in to me by Friday.
You're excused.
She's got it so easy.
She'll always have it easy.
Maybe she'll die.
You don't know what it's like.
What?
Junior high.
-Do you think anyone will join our club? -I don't want anyone to join.
I wanna be popular.
I may have swung a good deal with Steve Rodgers today.
-I think we got him. -Who's Steve Rodgers?
Well, Steve Rodgers is only one of the most popular guys in class.
We get him, we'll get to play everywhere.
Sweet 16s, school dances.
Maybe even a gig on the road.
-What instrument does he play? -Guitar, a little, but mainly he sings.
But that's not the point. The point is...
...this is exactly what I needed for my college résumé.
With this substantial extracurricular activity, I'm gonna have it made.
Maybe not the Big Three, but an Ivy.
- We'll see about the SATs. - Fuck you.
Mommy, can I join Mark's band?
Oh, sweetheart. Ha-ha-ha.
I'm serious. And you should send Dawn to a reformatory.
She's always bothering me.
Honey, you don't mean that.
Dawn loves you.
Remember, no matter what she does, she's your sister.
Dawn, tell Missy that you're sorry for bothering her and that you love her.
-Dawn. -I'm not sorry.
Stop acting like a baby.
You're her older sister. And Missy loves you.
- She does not. - She does.
-Tell her that you love her. -I love you.
-You do not. -I do too.
-You do not! -Dawn!
You are not leaving until you tell your sister that you love her.
Go to bed.
Feel this, stupid doll.
♪ Sweet candy from a baby ♪
♪ I know you're Daddy's girl But it don't worry me ♪
♪ Won't you give me Some sweet candy? ♪
Dawn is very musical.
Yeah. No, I know.
No, she's going.
Well, I told her she'll have a fabulous time.
What kid doesn't wanna go to Disney World?
Right.
Right. Yes.
♪ Let's get a little wild ♪
♪ Let's get a little crazy ♪
♪ Well, open up, sugar ♪
♪ Let me in ♪
♪ You see, I know you're Mama's pearl ♪
♪ You're a pearl from the ocean of tears ♪
♪ I'm gonna steal that pearl When she don't see ♪
♪ Won't you give me Some sweet candy? ♪
♪ Let's get a little wild ♪
♪ Let's get a little crazy ♪
♪ Well, open up, sugar ♪
♪ Let me in ♪
♪ Oh, like taking candy From a baby ♪
♪ Sweet candy From a baby ♪♪
"Dignity. Dignity is an important quality everyone should have."
Louder.
"That way, you will never grade grub.
Grade grubbing is bad."
I said, louder.
"Because it means you're asking for a grade you shouldn't get.
If you got it, it wouldn't be fair to everyone who didn't grade grub."
We can't hear you!
"It doesn't matter whether you're a girl or a boy, a man or a child...
...rich or poor, fat or thin.
You-- You should never be a grade grubber.
Therefore, dignity is a good quality everyone should have."
Thank you.
I am here to talk to you today...
...about the dangers of talking to strangers.
For I, Mary Ellen Moriarty, once talked to strangers.
And that is how I became the innocent victim of a brutal kidnapping.
Almost one year ago, I was a carefree teenager...
...memorizing my lines for Hel/o, Dolly!-- I was supposed to play Dolly.
--when one day...
...a day that I will never forget...
...I was walking home from rehearsal.
I'd missed my car pool.
And I was waiting at the street corner for the light to change.
When all of a sudden...
...a dark car pulled up beside me.
And a big man stepped out.
And he was older.
And he was good-looking.
And, um--
And he had a tattoo on his chest.
And then the next thing I know, he, um--
-So, students, I'm telling you this story-- -Aah!
Now, what exactly did you do, Dawn?
Dawn.
I shot a spitball.
Speak up. I can't hear you.
I shot a spitball.
-You shot a what? -She shot a spitball.
-A teacher was almost blinded. -I was fighting back.
-Whoever told you to fight back? -Ugh.
Dawn, are you having social problems?
-No. -Yes. She's got no friends.
-I've got friends. -Who?
Ralphy.
Case closed.
She's a loner.
Dawn, let me put it to you straight: we're not here to get you.
But you've got to understand, you're in junior high now.
This goes in the computer on your record.
Another couple of years, and this kind of incident goes on your college transcript.
Any questions?
-Were you playing with my dolls? -No.
Stupid....
-Hey. -Hey, how's it going?
Okay.
How come you got here so late?
I don't know. Am I late?
Well, never mind. Come on in.
-That your computer-science notebook? -What?
-Is that your computer-science notebook? -Yeah.
Oh, hey. Are you Mark's sister?
Yeah.
-You in junior high? -Yeah.
-Ben Frank? -Yeah.
You like it?
No.
Yeah, Ben Frank's pretty bad.
-You went there too? -Oh, yeah.
-I was almost expelled. -Really?
Why?
I hated it.
Oh, God, me too.
Don't worry. It's only three years.
Steve.
Out.
- So did you get started on the chapter? - No.
It's real important to focus on it if you want to....
Dear Mark, I thought long and hard over what we discussed at camp...
...and talked about it with my mother. She agrees with me.
Sex is an important thing to experiment with before marriage...
...but only if there is a serious commitment on both ends.
This is my third letter to you.
I'm going to assume you do not want to continue our relationship...
...if I do not hear back from you within 10 days.
Sincerely, your ex-girlfriend?
Naomi Hayes Blatt.
P.S. I'm getting hooked up to e-mail for my birthday.
I'll let you know my address as soon as it happens.
Mark?
Yeah?
-What are you doing? -Computer science.
Is Steve good at computer science?
He's fair. He's in the bottom quarter of the class...
-...but he doesn't fail or anything. -Why do you think that is?
It's simple. He's lazy. All he ever thinks about is girls.
Do you think about girls?
What, are you kidding? I want to get into a good school.
My future's, like, important.
And besides, none of the girls at school are that pretty anyway.
What about Maria Esposito?
Gross.
-Steve went out with her once, didn't he? -Well, Steve is horny.
Really?
How horny?
He'd go out with anyone as long as it was a girl and willing.
Willing to what exactly?
Go all the way.
You mean, have intercourse?
Duh.
Huh.
Why? Are you in love with him or something?
-No. -Heh.
But, Mark, when you say he'd go out with any girl...
...as long as they're willing to go all the way...
...does that mean they have to be pretty?
You know Tammy Steinfeld from car pool?
-Yeah. -Okay, do you think she's pretty?
Not that pretty, really.
Dawn, she's a dog. And he did it with her.
Has he ever done it with anyone younger than high school?
-You know Ginger Friedman? -She was in my gym class.
Well, why not ask her about Steve?
♪ You give me love You give me everything you can ♪
♪ You give me love You make me feel like I'm a man ♪
Be back in a second. Don't move.
♪ Look at you, girl Down on your knees ♪
♪ Your tender, loving lips My slave, you're bound to please ♪
♪ You are my victim I am your sire ♪
Um, Ginger?
Can I talk to you for a second?
It's about Steve Rodgers.
♪ Delight in your screams You're the girl of my dreams ♪
We gotta talk.
♪ Delight in your screams You're the girl of my dreams ♪
♪ Evening of desire ♪♪
-What do you know about me and Steve? -Well--
-First, tell me who told you I knew him. -My brother.
-Who's your brother? -Mark Wiener.
Him? He's king of the nerds.
I know, but he told me you used to go out with Steve. Is it true?
We finger-fucked once last spring. That's it. It's all over now.
What else?
I was wondering if I might have the chance if he wanted to go steady with me.
-Not a chance. -But--
Sorry, Dawn, but that's just the way it is. You don't cut it.
-What if I wore something? -Dawn, look in the mirror.
We finger-fucked once last spring.
That's it. It's all over now.
- What are you doing in there? - None of your business!
Hey, is Mark around?
No. My mom took him shopping.
Shit.
He'll be back real soon though, I'm pretty sure.
You can come inside and wait.
-Okay. You have anything to eat? -Yeah. Follow me.
You like Yodels?
Yeah, sure. What else you got?
Ring Dings, Pop-Tarts, Hawaiian Punch, whatever you want.
We've got some leftovers, too, in the fridge.
-Yeah? Like what? -We've got some fish sticks.
All right.
-And I know how to make Jell-O. -Whatever.
You know, I really like your music.
I'm pouring you some Hawaiian Punch. Is that all right?
Whatever.
Here I come.
Mm. Mm.
You're not hungry?
No.
You know, I play the piano.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
I could have kept going, but I sprained my finger yesterday.
You're still better than Barry any day, that's for sure.
-You think so? -Oh, yeah.
He ought to be taking lessons from you.
Yeah, well, I don't think I have time to give lessons to Barry.
But...
...you want to see my fingers?
Yeah, I see them.
Shit.
-I gotta get going. -Please wait.
Can I play it for you one more time? This time with no mistakes. Please?
- We're home! - We're home!
- Oh, hey. - Where were you?
Getting groceries with my mom and sister.
- Do you know what time it is? - Yeah.
Do you know what time you told me to be here?
-What? -I've been waiting a half an hour.
-What about the problems? -We'll get to them.
No, we won't--
Steve, Steve, Steve.
Hear me.
You will fall in love with me.
You will make love to me.
You will take me away from this place.
♪ Love's a confusing thing ♪
♪ In my suburban home ♪
♪ I feel so alone ♪
♪ I walk through sterile rooms ♪
♪ There's voices in my head ♪
♪ Or coming from the phone ♪
♪ I got a blow-up doll And she looks like you ♪
♪ Little girl ♪
♪ Well, the two of us Have made a special world ♪
♪ Little girl ♪
♪ So welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ I got it all set up for you ♪
♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪♪
Hey, Steve, I think your singing was a little flat that time.
Barry, why don't you play an A for Steve?
You got that, Steve?
Fuck this shit.
What's got into him?
He can't take criticism.
Well, great. There goes the band.
- Shit. - Wait!
Wait!
-Steve! -What do you want?
-You can't just go. -Yeah, why not?
-The band needs you. -Tough, I quit.
Tell your shit-face brother I'd rather fail computer science...
...than get any more help from him.
I can't believe he just quit.
Well, he did...
...shit-face.
She's just lucky she's a girl.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Dawn.
Do you think I'll get into The Hummingbirds next year?
Boys always get in.
Do you think they'll go on a trip to Disney World next year?
I don't know. Maybe. Depends.
-On what? -Hey, dog-face.
-Drop dead. -Let's go.
What's the matter, faggot? In a hurry to run home to Mommy?
-Shut up. -Make me, lesbo.
You think you're so cool.
You think you're hot shit, but you're just cold diarrhea.
-Ooh.... Listen to this faggot. -Shut up.
Shut up, you assholes.
Yeah, shut up.
If I were you, faggot, I'd be shitting in my pants.
When you go to junior high...
...I'm gonna smash that fairy face of yours into a mushy pulp.
Yeah, well, at least he won't stay back a year.
Ha-ha-ha. - Retard.
-Hey, Wiener. -What do you want?
You better get ready because at 3:00 today...
...I'm gonna rape you.
Forget that ugly bitch.
Bug off.
You want to come over to my house tonight?
Just get the fuck away from me, okay?
Oh, come on.
Get the fuck off.
-Nice try, bitch. -No, I was trying to meet you!
Don't bullshit me, you piece of ugly fuck!
-I'm sorry. -Sorry for shit.
-Still think I'm a retard? -No, you're not a retard.
Please stop. You're hurting me.
Now strip.
Strip.
Bitch.
Listen. When your sister gets here, let me do most of the talking.
But back me up, whatever I--
Oh, Dawn. Come join us.
-We need your help. -We're having a party.
-What for? -Mom and Dad's 20th, ding-head.
Mark.
I was talking with your dad, and we thought it'd be a great idea...
...if, this year, we celebrated our anniversary in the backyard.
We could set up tables, and there'd be dancing.
Mark's band is gonna be the music.
Your brother has even promised to write a song special for us.
It's our 20th, you know?
So, what do you think? If we all pitch in together?
Okay.
Mom wants you to tear down your clubhouse.
But that's the Special People Club.
Oh, honey.
I know.
But we really need the space.
And, besides, it's not really very pretty, is it?
And you're getting a little old for clubhouses.
Hello?
Whom may I say is calling, please?
Certainly. Hold on a moment.
Dawn.
It's for you.
-Hello? -Hey, ugly.
Oh, hi.
-Why'd you hurry off like that? -I was in a rush.
Fuck you were.
-Really, I-- -Tomorrow.
Same time, same place.
You get raped.
Be there.
So who is this Brandon?
Just this kid from school.
Is he a nice boy?
Yeah, he's okay.
-You alone? -Yeah.
-What time do you have to be home by? -Four-thirty.
Wait. I have something I want you to do for me first. Come on. This way.
And don't try anything stupid.
Do you want me to lie down?
Okay.
Wanna smoke first?
-No, thanks. -Afraid?
No, I just don't feel like it.
But I think marijuana should be legalized.
Why do you always have to be such a cunt?
I'm sorry.
Brandon, I don't mean to be a cunt.
You know I've got a brother?
No, I never knew that. What grade's he in?
He's not in any grade.
He's retarded.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
There's nothing to be sorry about. He's a tough kid.
He could beat you up if he wanted.
I'm sorry. I mean, yeah.
Brandon, are you still going to rape me?
What time is it?
I don't know. But I guess I don't have to be home yet.
No, there's not enough time.
Thanks, Brandon.
Yeah, but just remember, this didn't happen.
I mean no one, fucking no one.
I swear I won't tell anybody, not a soul.
Because if you do, I really will rape you next time.
Okay.
I have to tell you, I'm very upset with you three.
Mommy, I didn't do anything wrong.
I know. Just Mark and Dawn.
- But, Mom, I already spoke to Steve. - And did you apologize?
Yes, I had to promise to give him $200 for playing at your party.
Two hundred dollars?
Oh, for chrissake, Harv, it's our 20th.
He's coming by later to go over some stuff with me.
There's a computer-science test tomorrow.
What about you, Dawn?
Will you tear down that mess in the backyard or not?
Dawn, I am talking to you.
No.
Dawn, listen to your mom and forget about it.
No. The clubhouse stands and that's final.
Fine.
Have it your way.
Dawn, be smart. Make things easy on yourself.
No.
Ah....
-This I like. -Where did you get it?
-The supermarket. -I picked it out.
Mom, since Dawn isn't eating hers, can me and Mark split it?
Yeah, can we?
Please?
Go ahead.
Mark, Missy. I'm gonna need your help this weekend.
What do we have to do?
Tear down that mess in the backyard.
-What do you think? -I think--
Oh, Steve, they're all so beautiful.
They're from the summer.
Who took them?
Uh, Valerie Mondello. She's photo editor of the yearbook.
Was she your girlfriend?
For a few days.
-It was worth it though, don't you think? -Oh, yes.
I'm thinking of using this one for my first album cover.
You're going to be on a record?
It'll happen. It's gotta happen.
It's just a question of time.
You think before graduation?
Fuck graduation.
-What about college? -Fuck college.
I'm just doing this computer-science shit with Mark for my parents.
As soon as I make enough money, I'm moving into the city.
That's where it's all happening.
Oh.
I found the disk.
Out.
-No. -What do you mean, "no"? I said, out.
No. Steve and I are talking.
Come on, I said, out. Come on.
-Mom! -Leave her alone.
-You don't understand. This is my room. -So what?
You're being like a total fascist.
What is it, Mark?
Did you solve any of the problems?
Good morning, students.
All Hummingbird chorus members going on a concert tour to Disney World...
...must hand in signed permission slips by this Friday at the latest.
On a more worrisome note...
...drugs were found extinguished yesterday in the boys' lavatory.
Now, I wanna remind you all...
...that any student caught using or selling drugs...
...will be immediately expelled from school...
...and dealt with by the police authorities.
There will be no exceptions.
Drugs are illegal.
Just say no.
Thank you for your attention.
-Mrs. Iannone? -Yes, Cookie?
-I have an announcement. -Go ahead.
For everyone coming to my birthday party, remember to bring a bathing suit.
That's all.
Oh, my God!
Shh, shh.
-Hey, Cookie. -What do you want?
How come I wasn't invited? Jed and Lance were.
Oh, well, I really would have...
...but we needed an even number of girls and boys...
...and if you were invited, there would be too many boys.
Well, I got something for you.
-What is it? -Open it up.
I didn't eat my dessert at lunch today.
I saved it for you.
Now can I come to your party this weekend?
But, Brandon, this didn't even cost anything.
He's stupid.
-What are you looking at? -Nothing.
♪ I get lost ♪
♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ And I feel ♪
♪ My spirits rise ♪
♪ And soar like the wind ♪
♪ Is it love ♪
♪ That I am in? ♪
♪ I get weak ♪
♪ In a glance ♪
♪ Isn't this ♪
♪ What's called romance? ♪♪
-Sorry about your locker. -Uh....
It's okay. I mean, it's not really mine anyway.
It's the school's.
Anyway, I hate those stupid kinds of parties.
They treat you like little kids.
-She probably had a fucking magician. -Yeah.
I hate parties too.
My parents are tearing this down tomorrow.
Fuck. What for?
-Their anniversary. -Assholes.
-Where'd you get that cassette player? -Ralphy.
Why do you hang out with that faggot?
-Ralphy? -Yeah.
Just because he's a faggot doesn't mean he's an asshole.
Yeah, maybe.
Brandon, I can't be your girlfriend.
Huh?
I want to, but I'm in love with someone else.
-Who? -You wouldn't know him.
-What's his name? -It's no one you know.
-What's his name? -He's older.
-What's his fucking name? -Steve Rodgers. He's in high school.
Brandon. Brandon.
Brandon, wait.
Where are you going? We still have some Yodels left.
Asshole.
Don't feel bad, Dawn. Brandon McCarthy's just a retard.
Faggot!
♪ It was 20 years ago today ♪
♪ When Harv and Marj were married ♪
♪ There were three little twinkles In their eyes ♪
♪ When over the threshold Marj was carried ♪
♪ Harv and Marj, you're the greatest ♪
♪ You're the greatest couple The world has ever seen ♪
♪ We love you both We wish you the best ♪
♪ Happy anniversary Great joy and happiness ♪
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
♪ Happy anniversary to you ♪
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
♪ Happy anniversary to you ♪
♪ You're the king Of the breadwinners, Harv ♪
♪ And, Marj You're the queen of mothers ♪
♪ Missy, Mark and Dawn ♪
♪ Are your lucky son ♪
-Where's Dawn? -I don't know. Where is--?
♪ And daughters ♪
Rita, did you see Dawn?
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
♪ Happy anniversary to you ♪
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
♪ Happy anniversary to you ♪♪
-How are you? Huh? -I'm fine.
-Yeah? Are you gonna lose your lunch? -No.
Really? You think so? Honey, would you get--?
-Where's Steve? -Look who's here!
-Where have you been? -Leave me alone. I'm looking for Steve.
Where's Steve?
I don't know. Leave me alone. I'm trying to figure something out.
Will you come on?
- I did. A couple of times, yeah. - Yeah?
-Where's Steve? -In the garage.
Steve! Open up!
Open up!
-Dawn, what's up? -I have to talk to you.
-What about? -I was wondering if....
Well, I've been thinking seriously of building another clubhouse.
I wanted to know, would you be interested...
...in being my first honorary member?
What? What are you talking about?
The Special People Club.
Special people?
What's the matter?
-You know what special people means? -What?
Special people equals retarded.
Your club is for retards.
- Hey, Mommy, look! - I see, honey.
Oh! Oh, look at Missy. Oh, God, you are so cute.
Oh, look at her dancing with Mr. Kasdan.
And look at me and Steve. Steve really likes me.
- I look pretty good there. - You sound good too.
Oh, Harv, we have to get copies of this tape.
Unfortunately, Steve just quit the band.
-What? -What? I just gave him $200.
Didn't you just tell me that he got an A in computer-science final?
It's not that. He dropped out of school and left town.
He wants to try making it in New York as the next Jim Morrison.
-Stupid kid. He'll never make it. -That's what I told him.
-He'll never get into a good school now. -He won't make it.
-Never make it. -Never.
Mommy, let's watch it again.
You're so lucky.
Would you ask Brandon McCarthy to step outside?
Is something wrong?
The police wanna ask him a few questions.
Brandon, come up here.
You can leave your test.
Come along, Brandon.
Come on. This way.
Thank you, Martha. Sorry for the interruption.
Oh, Dawn! Oh, I'm so glad I caught you. Listen now.
Dad just called. His car broke down. I have to pick him up at the car dealer.
I've left a note in the kitchen for Missy to give to Mrs. Golden.
But in case she doesn't see it when she gets in...
...be sure to tell her to get a ride home from ballet with her.
I can't pick her up like I told her I would.
-Okay? -Yeah.
-Now, you won't forget? -No.
And that means hungry for love.
They haven't gotten enough love. They haven't gotten enough affection.
They haven't gotten enough attention from their partner...
...or from the people in their life.
I like to think of your relationship as a living, breathing thing.
I have found in my program that there are five things....
I'll get it.
Wiener residence. Who may I ask is calling, please?
It's Ralphy.
-Tell him I'm punished. -But you're not punished.
I don't feel like talking to him.
But he's your friend. So here.
Dawn.
Hang it up! I don't wanna speak to that faggot.
- But, Dawn-- - Hang it up!
But he's your friend.
He is not! He's a spy and an asshole.
- But, Dawn, Ralphy likes you. - Yeah? That's too bad.
You can tell him I hope he rots in hell.
Dawn, maybe you should say you're sorry.
Fuck you!
After receiving a moving thank-you letter....
You know you're not supposed to drink in the TV room.
Oh, hey, Missy!
What?
- This was the fat guy. - Nothing.
We're looking at a 54-inch waist there.
And well over 400 pounds.
For once, I started feeling.
- Mother describes her as.... - The Prima Donna Ballet School.
Ain't seen her since 6:15.
54 pounds, brown hair, blue eyes...
...last seen wearing a pink leotard, pink ballet slippers and a pink tutu.
- You copy that? - Yep.
- She has an older sister, 11 and a half. - Gave her the note from her mom.
- Claims to have given her the note. - Sister says she gave her the note.
Yeah, well, she claims to have given her the note.
- This was taken last summer. - So you're not going to school today?
No, Mom's afraid I'll be kidnapped also.
-Yeah, right. -What?
Never mind.
What do you think they're looking for?
-Clues. -But she's not here.
Uh, duh.
- You think you can use that one? - Yes.
This one was here was taken the last week of May.
Excuse me, sergeant.
Do you think they'll find her?
-Are you the big sister? -Yeah.
-And you're the big brother? -Yeah.
Take whatever you need. I just want my Missy.
Excuse me.
Dad's real sick.
-He probably has to go to the hospital. -What's wrong with him?
The doctor's not sure, but Mom thinks it might be a nervous breakdown.
It's probably just his gallbladder.
- I'll help, Mom. - Thank you, Dawn. Here.
Take that to your father while I talk to the sergeant.
Sure, Mom.
We'll get this bastard.
Dad?
I brought you some tea.
How are you feeling?
Better?
Well, don't worry. They'll find Missy.
I'm sure of it.
And if they don't, well...
...remember, you still got me and Mark.
Hello. Want a bite?
Tommy? Tommy.
Go on, get back in the kitchen.
-Who are you? -Dawn Wiener.
-I'm a friend of Brandon McCarthy. -What do you want?
Well, like, I was wondering if I could see Brandon.
-How come you're not in school? -My sister was kidnapped.
My mom let me stay home today.
-So, what do you want with Brandon? -I wanted to talk to him.
-What'd he do, knock you up? -No, no.
Okay, then, go ahead. You can go say goodbye to him.
Go on up the stairs at the back.
But you got just one hour, then we're leaving.
Thanks, Mr. McCarthy.
Hi, Brandon.
What are you doing here?
I tried calling, but my mom wouldn't let me because my sister was kidnapped.
Yeah, I heard. So, what do you want?
I wanna be your girlfriend.
Too late. I'm leaving.
-Where are you going? -None of your business.
-Can I come along? -No.
-Are you gonna go back to school? -Pssh.
No way, man.
I'm not going to no reformatory either.
My dad thinks I'm going, but he can go to hell.
I'm getting out of here.
You mean, you're running away?
Yup, to New York.
-Does anybody know? -No.
Get off of me.
I'm the one that makes the first move.
-Now, come on. -Right now?
Now or never.
-But I can't now. -Why not? Are you scared?
-No, but I-- -What?
Can't you wait a little longer?
I'm sure Mr. Edwards will let you back in if you stop dealing drugs.
Who said I deal drugs?
But, Brandon, everyone says....
And you believe them all.
You mean, you didn't?
Asshole. Jed's the one that deals.
But, hey, don't feel bad.
You're like everyone else. You think I'm some lying asshole.
And you know something, Dawn? I don't give a fuck.
I believe you.
Gee, thanks. I feel so much better.
-But I really do! -The fuck you do.
Brandon, I do!
-Lying piece of shit. -Brandon, please wait.
-I'm so sorry. -Well, it's too late. I'm getting out of here.
And who knows? Maybe I will deal drugs now.
You packed? We're leaving in 10 minutes.
Well, you coming?
I can't.
Brandon, wait! Please don't go!
So how's Dad?
They don't know yet.
They're still doing more testing.
Can I visit him?
What are you doing tomorrow after school?
Tomorrow's no good. I've got a big forensic-society debate.
But I'm sure I can get out of it.
No, Mark. Go.
I want you to. It's important.
Dawn can come with me to the hospital...
...and I'll get your Aunt Phyllis to stay by the phone.
Hello? Yes.
Oh.
In-- In Times Square?
Are you sure?
Yes.
Thank you.
They found her tutu.
Excuse me. Have you seen my sister?
Pardon me. Have you seen my sister? Her name is Missy Wiener.
No.
No, no.
Have you seen my sister?
-Her name's Missy Wiener. -No!
Help! Dawn, help me!
Dawn, Dawn! Help me!
Help me, Dawn! Help!
Help me, Dawn!
-Help me, Dawn! -Missy?
-Help me! Help! -Missy-- Wait! Wait!
-Stop! Stop! Let go of my sister! -Dawn, help me, help me!
Oh. Oh!
Oh, Dawn.
Oh, Dawn, you're the best daughter a mother could have.
-I love you so much. -I love you, Dawn.
Me too. I love you.
Oh, Dawn, I love you.
-Dawn, I love you. -You know I've always loved you.
Oh, Dawn, we love you.
-Yeah, I'll accept. -Hi, Mark. It's Dawn.
Boy, are you in trouble.
-Where are you? -New York.
-What are you doing there? -I ran away.
-Are you serious? -Yeah. I thought I might find Missy.
-Heh. Way to go. -Is Mom real upset?
Not really. They found Missy this morning.
Is she dead?
No, she's fine. Mr. Kasdan kidnapped her.
Really?
Yeah, Mrs. Kasdan is gonna file for divorce now.
Turns out he'd built this room beneath the shuffleboard court...
-...and kept her there. -Did he rape her?
No. I think he videotaped her doing pirouettes, but that's it.
-Is she in the hospital? -No, she's here.
She's the same. You know, I think she may have liked being there...
...because she had her own TV and total control over the pusher.
She also got to have as much candy and McDonald's as she wanted.
Can you get Mom?
Yeah, hold on.
- Mom, it's Dawn. - Will you move?
- Where the fuck is Sam? - Hurry it up.
Can you call back a little later? She's being interviewed.
Okay.
And now, students, I'd like you to give your attention to Dawn Wiener.
"I'm standing here today...
...to express my and my family's thanks...
...for the support in helping us get through this hor-- Terrible ordeal.
If it hadn't been for your help in providing the police...
...with the information leading to the conviction of Joseph Kasdan...
...my sister might not be here today.
Your emotional and moral support has been invaluable.
Missy has always been like a sister to me...
- ...and a friend--" - Wiener dog!
- Be quiet! - "And now that she is safe and sound--"
Wiener dog!
-Wiener dog! -Wiener dog!
Wiener dog, Wiener dog.
"Now that she's safe--"
Wiener dog, Wiener dog, Wiener dog.
Quiet!
Go on, Dawn.
"I can rest easy in the knowledge that-- That Missy is fine.
Thank you very much."
--were unavailable for comment.
Friends and neighbors, shocked at his arrest...
...described Joseph Kasdan as a regular family man...
...who would often dress up as Santa at Christmastime.
And now we bring you an interview from our own....
-Can you get me a bag of popcorn? -And a glass of Diet Coke.
-And Hawaiian Punch. -Okay.
Did he touch you at all in any way?
I don't know.
Anyway, I bet you're happy to be home with Mommy.
Yes.
So tell me, Mrs. Wiener, how did you feel when you discovered....
Mark, is eighth grade better than seventh?
Not really.
What about ninth?
All of junior high school sucks.
High school's better. It's closer to college.
They'll call you names, but not as much to your face.
How did you feel being kidnapped and being held hostage?
- Were you scared? - No.
I don't wanna go to Disney World.
Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.
♪ Look in the sky At the tiny birds that fly ♪
♪ With wings that move faster Than the eye can see ♪
♪ Hummingbirds ♪
♪ Hooray, hurrah, sis-boom-bah ♪
♪ Now put on a smile, kids Wipe off that frown ♪
♪ We're hummable Hummingbirds ♪
♪ Happy and sunny birds Humming all day long ♪
♪ Come and join us In our song ♪
♪ Hum ♪
♪ Hummable hummingbirds Humming along, we are ♪
♪ Hum Hummable hummingbirds ♪
♪ We go up, up, up Into the sky ♪
♪ We're the Hummingbirds Of Benjamin Franklin Junior High ♪
♪ Hum ♪♪
♪ Love's a confusing thing In my suburban home ♪
♪ I feel so alone ♪
♪ I walk through sterile rooms ♪
♪ There's voices in my head ♪
♪ Coming from the phone ♪
♪ I got a blow-up doll And she looks like you ♪
♪ Little girl ♪
♪ Well, the two of us Have made a special world ♪
♪ Little girl ♪
♪ So welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ I got it all set up for you ♪
♪ The vacuum cleaner Sucks my brain dry ♪
♪ As I sit and stare ♪
♪ At colors on TV ♪
♪ A dusted lamp upon the table ♪
♪ Lights her from within ♪
♪ She does the same to me ♪
♪ I got a blow-up doll And she looks like you ♪
♪ Little girl ♪
♪ Well, the two of us Have made a special world ♪
♪ Little girl ♪
♪ So welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ I got it all set up for you ♪
♪ Come into my dollhouse ♪
♪ Fill my empty heart ♪
♪ Without you I'm a catatonic fool ♪
♪ Sitting in the dark ♪
♪ So welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ I got it all set up for you ♪
♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Welcome to the dollhouse ♪♪