So how do you feel?
- It's okay. - Yeah?
- It's all right. Hurts a little. - Where did she get you?
Right here.
There's no blood.
- There's not a mark or anything. - Still feel it.
Sure.
- This is the point I made earlier. - What?
The '90s. Can't even afford to blink. I miss too much.
It's no big deal.
Howard, a woman hit you, tagged you upside the head.
- What'd you say to her? - Nothing.
- You said nothing. - Asked her the time.
"What time is it?" or "You got the time?"
There's a crucial difference.
I asked her what time it was. You know, Mountain, Central.
- You got a watch. - I'm not kidding.
You're telling me about some unprovoked assault? That is uncalled-for.
- Did she give you the time at least? - No.
- What the fuck are you laughing at? - Chad, it's not important.
Okay, well, we're doomed then. Seriously.
As a race.
Men like us, guys who care about the workplace, their women...
We're doomed if this is how they treat us.
- What do you mean? - We're sitting in a courtesy lounge...
time passing us by, completely at the whim of those bastards upstairs.
- And now this. - Ow. Yeah.
Life is for the taking, is it not?
We're ten years out of university. That's all... just ten.
I got a crop of these young dudes after my desk.
Taking jobs as production assistants. The title didn't exist two years ago.
Just to hang out in the coffee room. Vultures waiting for me to tire out.
I get low numbers two months in a row? They're gonna feed on my insides.
- I'm no fool, okay? - Of course not.
- You guys okay? - Looks like it.
- No. Serious. - It's kind of funny actually.
Yeah? Don't doubt it.
Big guy. Played ball, I hear.
Probably bought everybody lunch on Wednesday.
Yeah, he did.
That's all well and wonderful, and funny stories about his girl in the sack?
I bet he spins a good one.
A year from now, he'll be asking you to toss around ideas...
with some of the junior staff...
and "Would you leave me the cruller? It's the only doughnut I like".
I'm telling you now. Be careful.
What are you working on?
Checking how "project director" will look on your letterhead?
- Be nice. - Forget it. I'm kidding you.
- Watch this guy's ass. - Sure.
He's new and funny and a hell of a shortstop, Fourth of July picnic...
till the company has a slight recession...
and he's bandying your name around as somebody for the Phoenix office.
He's off collecting another wood-grained plaque: "employee of the month".
Right. I'll be careful.
I'm telling you. Watch your back.
I've been seeing this girl almost a year.
What am I talking about? You met her. That seafood joint maybe six months ago.
- That little brunette? Melody? - Melanie. Right.
She was very cute, as I remember.
Yeah. Took her home. Met the folks.
- Even gave her a ring one weekend. - Seriously?
- Yeah, I really liked her. - Sounds like it.
But then she starts the "gotta see other people" setup...
and that whole routine.
Suddenly I'm parked in front of her house 4:00 in the morning...
going to work, circles under my eyes.
Call her three times before she calls me back once. The phone-fade-out thing.
Finally I say, "This is not needed in my life".
Somebody rejects me, you know, a woman?
It drives me... Ah! I hate it.
- Yeah? - Seems like everything...
you know, work, these women...
feel like they're getting out of balance, don't they?
Yeah, they really do, Howard.
We ought to do something about it.
You know why I'm still chipper, big grin on my face, Howie?
Why is that?
Because I realized something.
I figured this out about a month ago.
I came home, and Suzanne had just packed up the joint.
Yeah. She'd just gone.
Really? You never...
Left me a futon and my poster of "American Gigolo".
Bitch even took the frame off it.
I'm standing there, no note...
not a "thanks for four years of a roof over my bleached-blonde head"...nothing.
You know? And it comes to me... the truth.
I do not give a shit, not about anybody.
A family member, a job, none of it.
I couldn't care less.
Geez.
- Don't get me wrong. We're pals. - Same college.
Exactly, and that means something. But these other folks...
You know, jump on while the going's good? No, that will not do.
People. Goddamn Suzanne's probably in Arizona riding dune buggies...
not a care on this Earth.
God, it makes me want to fuck somebody up good.
Sure. Geez.
You know, if we were living in India...
you could have burned your fiancée on a pyre in the village square...
for even hinting at what she did to you, to this day.
I hear you.
Circle the date on this one, big guy. We keep playing along...
with this "pick up the check," "can't a girl change her mind" crap...
and we can't even tell a joke in the workplace?
There's going to be hell to pay down the line, no doubt about it.
We need to put our foot down.
Never lose control.
That's the key, Howard.
That is the total key to the universe.
Trust me.
- Come on. - I don't know.
Do we look like frat boys to you?
We need Scotch.
Listen.
We're in town for six weeks, right? I'm just talking, so jump in.
This is perfect, what with the breakup thing you got going too.
Say we were to find some gal...
and I know we got a shit load of stuff to do...
but I'm just saying, for the sake of argument, we stumble onto something.
This person's vulnerable as hell.
You know, young thing, wallflower type or whatever. Disfigured in some way.
Some woman who is pretty sure that life...
and I mean a full, healthy sexual life, romance, stuff like that...
is lost to her forever.
God bless you.
Anyhow, we take a girl of that type...
some corn-fed bitch who'd mess her pants if you sharpen a pencil for her...
and we both hit her.
Small talk, a dinner date, flowers.
No pushing it the first night out, but it's like...
taking her out, you know, to see an ice show.
Something like that.
We just do it, you and me, upping the ante all the time.
Suddenly, she's got two men. She's calling her mom.
She's wearing makeup again.
On we play, and on and on.
Then one day...
out goes the rug and us pulling it hard, and Jill...
she just comes tumbling after.
Whoa.
Hour later, we're on a flight back to civilization like nothing ever happened.
Trust me. She'll be reaching for the sleeping pills within a week...
and we will laugh about this till we are very old men.
What do you think?
- Well, it's... - Is that not ideal?
Restore a little dignity to our lives?
The beauty is, for the next month and a half, we can play ourselves off...
as whoever we want to be.
Right. I mean, it sounds...
I don't want to shock you. It's just a thought.
It's the same crap we played in school, only better...
because we get a payback on this messy relationship shit we're dealing with.
Think about it.
No, right. I mean, it's funny. It is.
It's just way out there.
Sure, and that's why it's so perfect.
This is all virgin territory.
No matter what happens after it...
jumped over for promotions, wife runs off with some biochemist...
who knows what...
but we would always have this thing to fall back on.
We could always say, "Yeah, fine, but they never got me like we got her".
I think it would be refreshing...
and very therapeutic coming off the women we just have.
Well, just for instance, who would it be?
No idea.
She's out there... I know it... just waiting for us to find her.
What'd she say?
"I don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die".
So you in?
Oh, shit, man.
Yeah, I'm in.
All right. Then let's do it.
Let's hurt somebody.
Hi. How are you?
Listen. Excuse me.
Jesus, what do I look like, the sandwich guy? Excuse me.
Must be the headphones. How do you work with music? That would drive me batty.
Anyway, I have this.
Somebody pointed you out, said you were good, and I need it by 2:00.
If I'm not carrying this in my hand, 2:00, you can forget about it.
I'll be sitting next to you tomorrow borrowing your Wite-Out...
and I don't type, so, think you can do it?
Listen. Throw a cover sheet on it.
Grab one of those company folders and shove it in the...
Excuse me.
What the hell? Did I roll in something?
No. That's not it at all.
No, it's not.
That's not the point I'm making. No, it isn't. Don't tell me it is.
I'm here, I'm talking with you right now and I'm telling you no, so it's not.
We're not getting anywhere here, because it's not...
and I'm not going to keep saying that because I'm not.
This is a company line, I'm at work and we're going in circles here.
I suggest you talk directly with her.
Mom, I said no.
I don't care if she's been calling. Doesn't mean I want to call her back.
No, it doesn't.
Tell her to stop bothering you, give me a 25-cent call she wants to chat so bad.
No, I can't call her. Then I'd have to talk to her.
Why do you think I don't want her new number? So I don't have to be the one...
No, Mom. I...
She said that?
Really. That bitch.
No, I didn't say that. I mean, I didn't...
mean it.
All right. I'm sorry. I know it's...
Look, I gotta go.
We won't be needing your help. Thank you.
Sales reps. Aggressive little pricks.
- Hey. John, right? - Yeah. How's it going?
- Fine. - Good.
- How are the digs upstairs? - Shitty. I don't even have a desk.
Got these fucking painters wandering around.
At least you've got a window. They had a problem with the A.C. two weeks ago.
Let's just say it's a touch rustic.
Anyway, listen. What is the story on that girl you sent me to?
She's acting like I got shit smeared on my tie.
Sorry. I should have said something. She's always like that.
It's annoying as hell. Can't hold a conversation for two minutes.
What kind of feminist twaddle is that? Who does she think she is, some goddess?
Deaf.
You're shitting me.
What about the headphones?
I don't know. Self-conscious, I guess.
She pretty much keeps to herself, times I see her.
No shit.
Thanks.
Do I lie?
What do you have to use to get her attention, a dog whistle?
No, reads lips. Nice girl.
She's been here three weeks. Placed by one of those agencies.
Types 95 a minute.
Super. She speak at all?
I've never heard her.
I think she's got one of those voices.
- You know, like... - Like a dolphin.
Like having a Sunday chat with Flipper. That's what you're telling me?
Something like that.
Man, what a piece of work.
She's kind of pretty though.
Anyway...
Anyway, thanks.
See you later.
This is great.
About this morning. I was very rude. I didn't even introduce myself.
I'm Chad Piercewell.
It's nice to meet you. You're new here, aren't you?
Don't be embarrassed. We're all new sometime, right?
That's a lovely blouse.
It's John Merrick. It's the only thing I can think of the whole time.
I'm sitting across from the fucking Elephant Man.
She's attractive, though, right?
Yeah, I guess. I would say yeah.
- Tall? - Kind of average...
but you should see her going at it...
working to put the simplest sounds together.
A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y is like the Holy Grail to this poor wretch.
After about 15 minutes...
I can't watch any more saliva form in the corner of her mouth...
or I'm gonna lose my taco salad.
- But was she nice? I mean... - Nice? Yeah.
- Sweet, giving, all those things. - That's good.
One of the kindest people I've ever had spray spit in my face.
- Are you re-grouting in there? - I'm coming.
Jesus.
So, tell me. What else?
I get her entire family history jotted down on a series of bar napkins...
because finally, I asked her to stop talking...
because it would be easier to write.
So now I'm reading these things all night, playing 20 Questions.
Family lived in Germany, the air force.
She lost her hearing at eight or something like that.
She's got some sister doing fieldwork, a Ph.D.
I saw her picture. Big horsey-looking bitch.
Ask to see it if you get the chance.
Anyway, on and on. It was endless.
Dinner?
Yeah, we ate. Guess who doesn't reach for her purse when the check comes.
- Movie? - No. Work night.
Besides, I'm starting out easy.
- Kiss at the door? - Naturally.
- Nice. - Just a peck.
She's not bad-looking, but you should see that mouth working...
see those little bubbles forming and popping.
That's all it takes. A kiss on the cheek was plenty.
She is perfect for this.
- Yeah? - Better than I expected.
Wow. Hey, don't mean to check up on you or anything...
but did you finish those files?
They're on your desk. Once you sign them, we're out of here.
Great. Thanks.
- I'm coming! - Jesus.
You're not pussing out on this, are you?
No, I just don't know if she's...
Good, because I'm not doing this to find a mate, right?
- I thought we were in this together. - We are.
Okay then. It's not fun unless we're both in on it.
Okay, I'll go down there next week or something. I don't know.
All right, give it a week.
Look. This is not some broken-wing blue jay we're talking about.
Catch her in a few of those big, fat lies you like so much.
See how you feel about her then, okay?
You guys doing anything this weekend?
Yeah. Thought I'd take her to a production of "The Miracle Worker".
- What is that, a movie? - Forget it.
Are you coming out of there, or should I have your calls forwarded?
I'm coming. Oh, shit.
I got it. Hurry up.
Here you go.
You think anyone's still at the office?
Definitely.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
I don't know.
I'll spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.
That's good. Yeah.
- A guy downstairs told me that. - Yeah, that's funny.
I have to get these out before it's too late.
At least they could give us some office equipment.
No shit. We're like Lewis and Clark up here.
I'll buzz them, let them know it's coming.
Thanks.
Hello. I'm calling for Christine. My name is Chad.
Oh, you have?
Well, thank you.
No, I wouldn't think of it.
No, ma'am. Just tell her everybody is really sorry that she's down.
I guess the flu's been going through this place for weeks now.
I hope she's up and around soon.
Did she get the flowers?
Terrific.
No, I just took up a little collection. It's no big deal.
Yes, ma'am.
No, I'd rather not wake her. Just tell her that I called?
Okay, thanks again.
I will. You too.
Okay, bye.
All I mean is, I think everything's a business, whatever you go into.
Your typing there or my opportunity directing this project.
Doesn't matter. Every walk of life's an industry...
from child care right on up.
We need to take advantage of the situation, right?
That's what I think anyway.
You know, turn the situation to our own advantage.
So, on a personal level, that's what I'm doing here.
I was walking by, saw you, figured, "What the hell," you know?
You probably have a boyfriend, but you gotta take your chance, right?
And who knows?
It might turn out to be mutually advantageous.
So, that's really just a long-winded way of saying...
I'd like to go out sometime.
Maybe get a drink?
My name's Howard, by the way.
I'm free this weekend.
Hi. Howard, I need to see you for a second.
I'll be back in a minute.
- What are you doing? - That's not her.
- What? - That's not Christine.
- You said the fourth room. - She's not there. Come on.
Let's go!
- But I asked her out. - Fuck her. Let's get a sandwich.
Come on!
I got out of there as fast as I could.
As soon as I turned 18, I bolted, far as I could get.
My brothers... I got two older brothers...
they both got their union card the day after graduation.
Not me.
My dad couldn't see it.
Thought it was the greatest thing. Chrysler plant, Teamsters, all the rest.
Couldn't get enough.
The whole Norman Rockwell thing. Church, family, both parents...
little place in the suburbs, and you're in heaven, right?
I was ready to apply to college in ninth grade.
They still think I'm crazy, living in the city.
Seriously. I just didn't want any part of that.
So, comes this baseball scholarship.
Yeah. Blew out my arm sophomore year.
That's when I nabbed the business degree.
Got into the biz, and I like it.
No big deal.
That's me, in a nutshell.
So tell me about yourself.
Are you seeing anyone?
Nobody?
Just say it. You speak fine.
Really. It's okay.
Well, I've lived in this town for a few years now.
My family moved around a lot when I was young.
My father was in the military.
He died of cancer, so we moved here...
my mother and I.
Her hometown.
My sister lives in Seattle.
She goes to school in Seattle.
I don't know what else you want to know about.
A sister, huh? That's great.
Do you have any pictures?
I hate this guy.
I hate that guy too.
He's a little bastard. You ever met him?
- No. - Lucky you.
Oh, I hate that dude right there.
Craig or Greg? One of those from Pittsburgh.
He sucks dick.
How's it going?
- Good. I haven't seen you since... - New Jersey, that one seminar.
I heard they set you up here, so I... Boy, this is nice.
Yeah, you believe this shit? When did they ship you out here?
Ten days ago. Training on the new DATCOM system.
- Oh, great. - I know her. Look at that face.
- Cunt? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, looks it. Anyway...
You guys are here to finish that Computech thing, right?
- Yep. In and out, six weeks. - Must be nice.
That guy you're with. What's his story? I can't get a read on him yet.
He's cool. It's just his first time in charge, so, you know.
- Seems okay. - Yeah, it's no big deal.
You guys take in any of our nightlife yet?
Yeah, we ate at Arby's yesterday.
- Oh, man. - What?
I despise that dude. Sales rep from Indiana? Major fucker. You remember him.
Yeah. Laurence. He was up there too.
Exactly. Laurence.
Now he is a new breed of fuck.
Like a special strain of fucker.
I hate that prissy cocksucker.
No kidding. You guys cover your ass if he comes up here.
Literally.
- I gotta go. Catch you guys later. - Good to see you.
You too.
- You like that guy? - Him?
- Yeah. - You kidding me? I hate that prick.
All right. So, break time's over.
You're all fired.
Kidding. It's good to have you guys up from downstairs. Appreciate the help.
Sorry about the conditions they got us in here, repairing the water damage.
Chad calls it... You all met Chad, right?
He calls it our Jonestown office.
- It was funny when he said it. - That's because I said "Jamestown".
Right. Jamestown. So, anyway, this is the biggest floor they could give us...
what with the computers and everything we'll need.
So we'll make do. Right. Let's see. What's the best way to do this?
Let's break into two teams. We'll go one, two, one...
I thought you wanted to do the projection thing.
Right. Who's got those graphs?
Let's take a look at them.
- It's not serious. - Yeah?
- Nah, just seeing her, you know. - Right.
- Took her to lunch a couple of times. - Yeah.
I see your pal down at her desk every other day.
Heard he went to the movies with her. Come on. Something's going on.
What? It's mostly work. She does some typing for us.
We both took her out. It's no big deal.
- Sure. - It's not.
- All right. It's not my business. - Right.
Listen. I know it probably... But I'm telling you the truth. It's nothing.
- Just a coincidence. - Okay.
- She's a nice girl. - Hey, my hat's off to you.
Bigger man than I am.
You don't think she's cute?
- Yeah. - Serious. Got a nice figure.
- Absolutely. - But?
You wouldn't be caught dead with her, right?
In a company like this, with these guys around?
No fucking way.
Hello? Yes, hi.
Is Christine home yet?
No. Fine. I see. No, no message.
Is this one of those phones?
I mean, is there a readout for her? How does that...
I'm sorry. Obviously, it doesn't matter. I'm talking with you.
I could just tell you, couldn't I? I'm just curious.
Oh, it is one. Okay. Thanks. Well, just tell her...
Sorry. It's sort of an office thing. Someone retiring.
I don't even know who.
Can you hold on a sec? I'll be right back.
Hello? What?
No, I checked those myself before I had them sent out.
It was a nice suggestion, coming out here.
I didn't even know this was up here.
Thanks for showing me this, Christine.
You're welcome.
And you got me out of going to some guy's farewell party. I appreciate it.
Just check around and call me back. I'm sure they're there.
Just check around. Okay.
Hello? I'm sorry.
Anyway, I tried to catch her before she left, and I couldn't find her.
No, it's no big deal. No, it's...
Well, it's nice to talk with you.
No, my name's Howard.
That's all right.
I just wanted to touch base on a couple of office things.
No big deal.
No, no message.
That's fine.
Good night.
So do you...
I don't mean to embarrass you, but...
Forget it.
No, it's okay. Really.
I was thinking about the drive-in you took me to last week.
- You know, the movie? - Yes.
When I pulled in, I put the speaker on my side.
I assumed you wouldn't need it because of...
- Am I making any sense? - Yes.
- No, I'm not. I sound like an idiot. - No.
- Should I have put the thing on... - No, it was fine.
You sure?
So how do you... Do you feel the sound or...
Forget it. I'm sorry.
No. People are curious. It's okay.
I've seen most of the movies on TV.
I read their lips.
It helps that their mouths are 50 feet tall.
That's terrific.
I'm sorry for asking.
It's okay.
- Try and get corned beef in this place. - Right.
Can't stay long. Everyone else ordered in. Stuff's piling up up there.
- You guys busy? - God, yeah.
- I was working on the presentation. - You're not going to believe this.
- You know that new dude? - Which?
That guy, Mr. MBA, back home. He screwed up already, big time.
- Watch him. I told you. - Right?
All that material you faxed to him last week? Suddenly, he can't find it.
- You're kidding me. - Nope.
- Found like two pages or something. - Oh, shit.
I put the receive notice on the clipboard. You can check.
I know you did. Can you hand me a napkin?
- Just makes us look bad. - He's the one who screwed up.
He didn't notice at first. Now he's tearing up the office.
- Serves him right. - Yeah, but I'm the one...
with my thing hanging out my pants come Monday morning.
Hard copy's still on my desk, everyone asking why.
I should have "next-dayed" a disk.
- I did suggest that. - I know. My fault.
We'll get it out today. No big deal, just not what I planned.
So.
How's Christine?
- She's good. - Yeah?
Oh, yeah. You?
Fine. Sent her flowers.
Yeah? That's funny. Me too.
I'm not picking out china patterns or looking for our dream cottage...
but it's good.
It's a lot of fun, actually.
I think so too.
So you're liking her better then.
I don't know. Better?
I'm not sure. It's just that every so often...
I'll look over there and think...
"You know, I could almost see myself with this person".
I mean, not when she's talking. Then you just want to slip down a side street...
hope no one heard her swallowing her tongue trying to get a sentence out.
But a couple of times... Maybe it's this look she gives me...
or this feeling shoots up the nerve endings as she touches my arm.
Just squeezes it.
I mean, we're sharing a Slurpee, for God's sake.
I don't know. I look at her, moments like that...
and I can see, you know, kids and Volvo in the garage...
all that crap in-between.
- She's definitely got something. - Serious? I mean, that's...
I don't mean exactly that, but, hell, I don't know.
You've been out with her. You get that at all?
Just every so often.
- You? - Sure, kind of.
Really?
Well, I mean, yeah. She's kind of nice, you know?
I know.
It's an odd twist, all considered.
That's true.
Yeah, just see how it goes, I guess.
Yeah.
It's a serpentine road we travel this life.
- See where it takes us. - Okay.
- Sandwich any good? - It's okay.
They kind of screw you on the meat.
Yep, they sure do.
I thought you said this friend of yours was a good guy.
- He is. - Then why is he sending me to Bozeman?
Montana?
Fourth of July weekend and I'm going to Big Sky Country.
Some convention he wants me to coordinate the booth for.
Ouch.
- This really stinks. I had plans. - So tell him.
I already e-mailed him. He sent me back that.
Some high nova, system-best crap. Shit!
What can I tell you? Power corrupts.
The real injustice here is if I could throw a curveball...
you know, a really good one...
just that, nothing else, no education, nothing... none of this would matter.
Play in the big leagues for ten years, retire to Oahu.
Yeah? Life sucks, huh?
Listen.
Have fun.
Hey. Sorry.
I got held up just as I was leaving.
We missed a deadline. I had to ream out a couple of guys who were responsible.
Sorry. "Ream"?
"Ream" ...chew out.
Yell.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - No, it's okay. It all worked out.
- Anyway... - No, I meant for the men.
I'm sorry they made a mistake. I know your project is very important.
They must have felt terrible.
Yeah. I mean no.
It was no big deal.
I just explained the error to them...
but it held me up a bit.
Oh, that's okay.
Thanks.
This is nice.
Hey. This is really nice.
I mean for a place like this... a city this size.
Yes. I like it a lot. It's so quiet.
Right.
So that must...
- Look. I'm sorry. - About what?
What I did just then.
Coming in with the "I'm so busy" crap.
So you're not busy?
Well, no. I mean, yes, I am, but I wasn't.
I... I made that up.
About disciplining those two guys?
I just made that up instead of telling the truth.
I ran back to the hotel to change my shirt.
I wanted to look good, so I was late.
- That's okay. - No, it's not all right.
I get so used to saying what I think people want to hear...
I forget they might just want the truth sometimes.
- So I'm sorry. - It's all right. Really.
- Forgive me? - Of course.
Just remember: I can't hear you when you're lying.
Sure.
- Send a note. - Oh, right.
- That's good advice. Thank you. - You're welcome.
- You look good. - No.
Oh, you're blushing.
I'm glad you made it, late or not.
Oh, look. They are so beautiful, aren't they?
Yeah.
Okay, because we'd like a table facing the water. That's what we want.
I see it in the brochure you sent. That's what we'd really like.
Thanks.
Oh. I had an idea.
If we download the vertical commands, I think we can bypass...
You know what? Have them hold on ten minutes. I'll be down to explain it.
I'm sorry.
We're thinking of getting in an early dinner.
3:30, 4:00, something like that. Whatever you've got.
I need those Tuesday.
No, the reservations are for the fourth. Can you hold on?
Instructions on the product. Okay. I gotta take this.
Excuse me.
I know it's just a lake, but the view this time of year...
it's pretty stunning, isn't it?
That's fine. You have my card number, right? You can send me confirmation?
I gotta go. Okay, thanks.
Hey. It looks like we can go up a week from Saturday.
I mean, if you still want to.
I asked around. It's supposed to be one of the nicest restaurants in the area.
Well, yes, probably.
I just have to check...
I think so.
I should get back.
Hey, do you want to grab some lunch? I mean, only if you want to.
There's a couple of things I'd like to talk to you about.
Well, could we do it later in the week?
Today's bad. Lots of reports due. End of the month, you know.
Sure. No, just taking a shot, you know.
That's a beautiful dress.
You look good.
Thank you.
I mean, that's a nice style for you.
Probably sounds goofy coming from a guy like me, but I can tell these things.
I really can.
You look good.
- Everything okay? - Yes.
This place has great barbecue, supposedly. Some of the best in town.
Yes, it does.
Hey, look.
The reason I wanted to have lunch is I wanted to speak to you about us.
I just want to talk, you know?
I need to say this, get everything out in the open.
I hate this part of dating. It's always hard...
when you start to feel something for a person...
begin to feel like taking that next step.
You see what I'm trying to say?
- My cards are on the table. - Yes.
You are so beautiful.
I have to face this. My job ends here in a few weeks, and...
I want you to know that whatever you do is all right with me.
I don't care about your dating other guys...
and if we're apart for a while or...
Well, I just want you to know that...
whatever happens, I trust you.
Okay?
Oh, boy, this is really hard.
I like you.
There, I said it. It's out. I'll eat better now.
It's true.
I look at you, and I see...
good, nice, kind.
I am very happy with you...
and I want our relationship...
You feel this could be a relationship...
right?
I want to nurture it and just see us blossom.
That's what I wanted to say, so...
let's just enjoy this, and I'm really in the mood for some ribs.
How are you?
Chris, you know Howard at all?
I've seen her around. Hi.
Howard's in charge of the project I work on.
- Christine's a secretary on three. - Oh, is that right?
Yeah. This is hilarious.
Suddenly I see you everywhere. I mean, you know how this is, Christine.
Howard and I have the same alma mater.
He graduates a semester ahead of me, and now he's my boss.
- Just on this one project. - Come on now.
Don't be modest. They picked you over me or anybody else. You're it.
- You got time to sit? - No, I can't.
I gotta get upstairs. Lot of reports due.
End of the month, you know.
That's too bad.
Oh, shoot.
I gotta take this. I'm sorry. Excuse me? I'll be right back.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
You must really like this place.
No. He had already made plans.
It's no big deal.
I should...
Forgive me. I still...
It's okay.
Where'd Howard go?
He said he had to go.
Do you two... I mean, you work together.
Yeah. I do most of the marketing. Howard coordinates all the divisions.
You knew that, right? There's six of us brought in from all over for this thing.
No. So many people come and go, I didn't know.
It's no big deal. You do now.
He's a nice guy though.
He's a hell of a guy, a truly decent person, I think.
Seriously, you should talk to him sometime.
Yeah. I always liked Howard.
Anyway, you want to get an appetizer? That be all right?
I'm so hungry, I could eat forever.
That break room down there is an absolute cesspool.
Coming out of there...
you were already in the restroom...
I see three interns slinking around like it's summer camp or a food fight.
It pisses me off. Then they drag their shit upstairs too.
Yeah. I'll say something to them.
God, it's a great view up here. How did you find this place?
What's-her-name. Christine.
Juvenile fuckers, leaving a place looking like that.
Working in a company of men, and they still want their mommies...
wiping their bottoms every time they go potty.
- We've got two trash cans down there. - Exactly.
Boy, that makes me want to... I don't know.
- When did you two come up here? - We ought to set an example.
Yeah, you're right. Ah, I got too much to do as it is.
I know that. I'm saying in theory, something should be done.
Back home, the place would not look like that...
and they should be taught that.
- I'm just venting. It's no big deal. - Sure.
- So, how things going? - Okay. I'm busy.
- Yeah? - Yeah, customers, you know.
- I'm hitting my deadlines, though. - Hey, appreciate that.
Love to have this whole thing in place by the holiday.
I know this is last-minute, but maybe you could fly back over the break...
deliver the stuff, make the presentation.
I mean, if it's all right. They want to know what we've been doing.
- I thought you were set to go back. - I was, but I got stuff piling up.
Like what? It's the weekend.
Well, things.
Why don't you send John? He's up to speed on it.
I was going to, but he doesn't know the city or the players back there.
I think you could sell the changes we implemented in the package.
I mean, if you're okay with that.
- If you're not... - Sure. I'm salary.
There are no holidays. Leave it on your desk. I'll get it Friday.
Terrific. I'll keep an eye on things on this end.
We'll get together on Monday, review it all. Appreciate it.
I was thinking about taking Christine to a ball game or something. Fireworks.
- A town like this must eat that up. - Yeah. Sorry about that.
You know, work comes first.
You think of something, okay? Keep the heat on.
- I'll try. I'll probably be swamped. - Yeah, with things.
Whatever. We still got a little while before the big finale.
Listen, about lunch last week. I had no idea that you made plans.
- You did, right? That look on your face. - No problem.
- Seriously. I'm sorry. - Don't worry about it.
She hadn't told you about it, though, had she?
I didn't think so.
We should be careful, though, now that she's seen us.
You know what I mean? Maybe one of us should pull back.
Yeah, maybe so.
- Who should it be? - Oh, whoever.
I just don't want to be too obvious.
Absolutely. Or get caught.
Things okay, though? You're not second-guessing or anything.
- No, no, no. I'm still... - Good.
- You? - Yeah.
You ever hear from that one girl of yours again?
- Oh, yeah. - No kidding.
- Yep. Calling my mom. - Ouch.
And I'm getting these messages on my machine. Nobody says anything.
She doesn't have the decency to call me direct. It pisses me off.
- Give 'em a chance, buy her a ring... - That bitch.
Back they come, too late, huh?
Calling my mother? I mean...
I see where you got a message last week.
- What? - From Suzanne.
Oh, yeah. You believe that?
I wasn't snooping. I saw it on your terminal.
She never called back again. See, that's what I'm talking about.
- I know. - You start to feel sorry for someone...
like Christine...
and then they come back and kick you in the teeth.
Women. Nice ones, the most frigid of the race.
It doesn't matter in the end. Inside, they're all the same.
Meat and gristle and hatred. Just simmering.
I, for one, have had it with their shit. You know what I mean?
Makes me just want to... Something.
Sure.
I like seeing you away from work.
I've never done that before.
I like your room.
You do, huh?
God, I am just so taken with you. I just...
I am taken with you.
I'm done. I probably sound pretty stupid.
You sound wonderful to me.
You're so fragile.
I can't ever imagine not having you here.
You feel so perfect in my arms.
I can't believe I'm not going to be here for the Fourth.
- I really wanted to. - I know.
You have to work. It's not your fault.
Yeah. It still stinks.
We should go back to work.
- Chad. - What?
Do you love me?
- I'm sorry. - No.
What?
I think I love you, and I just want...
Yes, I do.
No, I don't want an estimate. I want to sell the thing.
Just want to get it cleaned.
Maybe you could look at that back post. Feels loose.
I mean, I know it is.
Ended up practically ripping it off a girl's finger.
She didn't want it the first time.
A few weeks later, I couldn't get her to give it back.
"Just want to try it on".
Ended up wrestling on her floor one night...
me, pulling her hand, she, screaming.
Neighbors at the door. What a mess.
That's why it's bent a little.
Plus I've been carrying it in my wallet for about four months.
So just polish it up, make sure it's all okay.
I'm gonna take a look at your china.
It's a disgrace. That's what it is.
I know.
- You guys are privileged. You see that? - Sure.
Not "Sure," and you give me the finger, you get halfway down the hall.
I want you to know it because it's true, not because some dude...
this time me, but it could be anybody...
because some man says that it's right.
I could have just blown this off. I got a flight to catch tomorrow.
Let you figure out life all on your little lonesome.
I think I would have been doing you a disservice. I really do.
I'm not bullshitting you here. Cherish this.
Look, you boys are sitting in the driver's seat.
You can make whatever you want to happen happen. You're in with this company.
But you're screwing around, chasing each other in the break room...
hanging out with a bunch of guys from Shipping.
Where's your head?
- Offering you a chance. Keith, right? - Yeah. "Keif".
- "Keith" or "Keif"? - "Keif".
- Which? - Keith.
Well, you ought to know.
Yeah. Howard will be back in about an hour. I'll take them.
- Yeah. - Thanks.
I'm giving you the opportunity to hang with the money people. Don't blow it.
Sometimes I look at you guys... interns we're given on a project.
I'll wonder to myself, "He got the balls for this?"
Right? I can't help but think it.
- I do. - Yeah?
Yes. "Ax" anybody.
Let me give you a professional tip.
The word is "ask".
Okay?
You want a job like mine, one day, sitting back and part of the show?
The ring is dangling right there.
You've come this far. You just gotta grab it.
But you need the big brass ones for the task.
Now you say that you've got them.
- Yeah. - Enough to handle this pressure cooker?
Fine.
Let's see them.
Your clankers. Let's see what you've got.
- I don't... - I'm not a homo...
gonna leap across the table at you.
I just want to make sure you got what it takes.
They asked me to recommend somebody for the management trainee program.
So you decide.
Wait.
Show me your balls.
- I don't... - Listen.
You got a pair the kind that men carry around, you wear them on your sleeve.
That's what business is about:
Who's sporting the nastiest sack of venom and who is willing to use it.
Don't be embarrassed.
All right. Great.
You feel okay?
Good.
Get me a cup of coffee before you take off, all right? Black's fine.
Hey. I was thinking later we'd go for a walk by the lake.
Supposed to be great fireworks later.
Is everything okay?
- Yes. - This place? The meal? It's okay?
- Sure. - Good.
- I wanted to tell you... - Howard...
Maybe this isn't the perfect time...
but I care about you, Christine.
I want you to know I like you a lot.
- I need... - I just don't want to lose you.
I know we'd give up certain freedoms...
and distance would be a problem, but...
- No, wait. - I could get a transfer.
I just need you.
I've come to realize that, and...
I'm telling you.
I need you.
I taught myself that.
Please, listen to me.
I've let this go too far.
- Too far? - Yes.
I should have told you before, but...
I love someone else.
I'm sorry?
I made a mistake.
I mean, I like you. I do.
And you made all these plans.
I didn't want you to feel that...
But it was wrong for me to come here.
No. I mean, no.
This is our trip. We worked this out. It's not just me.
We've been dating. We've been going out. What are you talking...
It's the man you saw me with at lunch.
Chad. Your friend from school.
Chad and I...
That's who I love.
I know it's a surprise...
for me too.
- Chad. - Yes.
- He likes you a lot. - Yeah?
- Yes, he does. - Uh-huh.
I'm sorry.
- Right. - No, I am.
- Sure. - Howard.
Okay, you're sorry. Terrific.
I didn't mean...
- It's all my fault. - No.
I shouldn't have dated both of you.
You both should have known about this.
When...
you don't date for a while...
you wonder...
if you're attractive...
or interesting to someone.
You let things get out of hand first chance you get.
That's what I did.
I see.
It's just...
when I saw you at lunch that day...
and you were saying things like "friends"...
and you went to school together...
I couldn't believe it.
I had no idea that the two of you...
It was fate.
I didn't want to hurt anybody, and I'm so sorry.
It was a lot of fun. Really.
This is...
Let's get out of here. Just get your stuff together.
I'll...
I'll pay the check.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
- What's wrong? - I can't...
- What? - We did.
- What? - We did know.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You went out with me, dated me, had fun with me...
but you went to bed with him.
Don't say anything. I can tell.
I'm sitting here, some asshole who cares about you...
and you're in love with him.
- Please don't... - Are you so desperate...
you can't see a yard in front of you?
Chad? He doesn't like you.
He loathes you.
He detests you and your pathetic retard voice.
That's what he calls it.
Christine, you bought that shit?
See each other at parties? He's my friend, okay?
We hang out back home.
You better wake up. You were used.
It's a game.
To Chad, it was a game, and he found you "so perfect," he said.
"She's deaf". That was the thing. Not love you.
Not flowers and the feelings I have for you inside.
No, it was meant to be a sport... fun to watch you fall apart.
- I'm telling you... - Stop it!
Christine, I...
We did this thing, and I am so sorry...
but I can't change it because it's true.
No! Chad would never do that!
Why are you trusting him?
Look at me. What did I ever do to you?
Kindness, courtesy.
What is the matter with you? Can't you see I'm the good guy?
I'm the good person here.
I can't alter what we've done, and I'm a fuck...
and a bastard and everything else on your list, but I'm here.
I'm here, and I'm telling you...
I love you.
Here. Please.
It's for you.
Here.
Please? Just take this.
It's for you.
It's not a game to me anymore.
Take it.
Please, just take it. Come on.
Get away from me! No!
You are fucking handicapped!
You think you can choose? Men falling at your feet?
You want to call Chad?
Give him a ring?
Ask him about our little contest, why don't you?
Fine! I'm lying! Don't believe me!
Go to him!
Go ahead! Curl up in a little bundle on his lap.
Suck on his sour tongue. I don't...
I hope you're very happy.
- What's up? - Nothing.
Just a little out of joint, that's all.
I didn't make it in yesterday, but you heard what happened, right?
Part of it. I had like ten messages on my voice mail when I got in.
Yeah, and I tried your beeper too. I couldn't find you.
Yeah, I must have turned it off. So what happened?
Oh, nothing. Just had about a dozen guys standing there holiday weekend...
and four pages are so light, I can't read them.
- What? - Not even the access codes.
The old man's looking like I personally fucked up his T shot on 18.
Great.
He was not pleased.
- And? - I got hold of the guy from downstairs.
I had him drive in.
He dug around and found enough to get into the system. I bullshitted the rest.
I covered us for now, but...
I checked those copies myself.
All I know is I took what you left for me.
I opened the envelope right in front of him.
I'm sure I did. Shit!
They want me back for a meeting on Thursday.
- I'm sure it's cool. - Yeah. No big deal.
So you fucked up their Sunday brunch. How bad can that be?
We're out of here next Wednesday anyhow.
Right. Well, Friday for me, but...
It just looks...
I'll see you.
How about you? Good weekend? I mean, considering?
- Well, fine. - Did you see Christine?
- Uh-huh. - Really? What did you guys do?
Just drive, dinner. You know.
A drive? That's nice.
Quaint. A little "Magnificent Ambersons" thing going on?
Yeah. Whatever.
There's nothing like a drive when you need some time to yourselves.
I'll see you later, okay?
Yeah. Sorry.
I just don't like what's going on here, that's all.
Been with the company six years.
Not gonna take me off a job without some sort of fight.
Give me a courtesy call at least, you know?
Couple little glitches and I'm suddenly on customer support?
That is bullshit, okay?
I don't care if Chad has more background in software.
They should have thought of that before they...
I get a demotion, blink of an eye...
Someone's gonna answer for that. Right?
What are you talking about?
Nothing. I'm just babbling.
Geez. I'm glad it's not like that around here.
No kidding.
Turn my back, go away for the weekend and the earth does a nosedive on me.
I mean, work, my old girlfriend...
Now that's a story in itself.
She won't speak to me, but she's calling my parents.
I mean... God! Everything.
What the hell has happened to me here?
I used to be like this adjusted person.
I don't...
No? It's okay.
No. I don't mean that. I need...
What?
I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you.
It's just that we're finishing things up, and it's been busy.
I did want to. I left a message with your mom.
- I know... - What?
Come here.
Look.
We are going to see each other again.
I promise you.
I know this is hard.
Do you love me?
Yes. Just like yesterday.
Do you really love me?
Of course.
What's the matter? You're quiet all night.
- I know. - What?
No, seriously. What? Have I done something?
I know what's going on.
What?
I don't know what...
You mean Howard?
You and Howard, right? You went out with him a few times when I was gone.
- Yes. - He told me about your trip.
I drove him to the airport, and he told me.
I was gonna say something, but, I mean...
Listen. It doesn't matter. We talked about seeing other people, right?
- Yes, but, I know... - I told you it's okay. I still...
I just figured you were embarrassed. That's why you didn't say something.
No! About what you're doing.
You're confusing me. I don't know what you're talking about.
What the two of you are doing to me.
- Howard told me. - Christine...
Look. This is silly, because I don't know. Okay?
The game.
You two were playing a game on me, right?
Are you playing a game with me?
Please tell me.
Howard told you, huh?
Well, well.
All right. Don't say anything for a second. Let me explain.
It... Shit!
Christine, it... It wasn't a game.
We both noticed you, and we...
Please try... Understand this.
It turned into sort of a contest because we both wanted to...
I was gonna let you down easy, but I can't keep a straight face...
so fuck it.
Surprise.
So how does it feel?
I mean right now.
This instant. How do you feel inside, knowing what you know?
Tell me.
That's all?
It only hurts that much?
Well, I guess I can go then.
The deed's done.
- Who is it? - It's me.
What's going on? It's almost 1:00.
- At my home. - Yeah. Sorry.
Couldn't sleep.
Nice.
It's a little smaller than your last place.
Yeah, but it's a great old building. Plus the park.
- Right. Yeah. It's terrific. - Still doing a little touch-up.
Looks like you got a new frame there for "Gigolo".
Right?
It looks good.
It's almost got... and I mean this the right way...
a woman's touch.
Thank you, Howard.
Sure.
So what is it?
I don't know. I mean...
Shit!
The last couple of days, I'm getting maybe three hours a night.
I cannot eat.
Couldn't hold down rice pudding. Yesterday, I bought some at lunch.
Threw it up 30 minutes later.
- Fascinating. - I'm just illustrating my point.
I'm sick, Chad. I'm dying here.
I mean, this whole... Fuck!
I know! It puts me in a shitty position too. I didn't ask for this thing.
And then they move you downstairs with that new dude.
I mean, goddamn.
- I told you to watch out. - No, Chad...
Want that corner office? I can say something...
Look!
It's Christine.
I'm here. Gotta talk, because of her.
- You did it, right? - Did what?
- Told her. - Yeah. It just sort of...
Kind of caught me off guard, you know?
Might of said something to me first.
I thought it was an unwritten that we'd keep the mechanics of it to ourselves.
So she said that you told her everything.
- Yes. - And?
- Come on, Chad. - What, Howard?
I'm just curious. I think I'm allowed that.
So how did it feel?
Lousy, okay?
- Jesus. She just fell apart. - You told her that I...
Yes, I told her, and I'm watching this... God! I can't believe it!
- Man, I wish I'd been there. - I've never done anything like that.
I did it short. Over in a second.
Left her sobbing in the hotel room.
Then I walked over to Pizza Hut.
It was your hotel room actually.
What?
See, I knew you'd be late wrapping stuff up, so I took the liberty.
I got a maid to open up, and I...
Well, I did the same thing when I first fucked her.
I thought that you might find her there, so...
- Chad. - What?
I'm trying to tell you I'm in love with her.
Jesus Christ!
I mean, you know... It's a game and all.
It's funny. First to agree with you, but shit!
What?
- When did she get here? - What do you mean?
What do you mean, what do I mean? That's Suzanne, right?
She's sleeping in the middle of your king-size. So what the hell?
I mean, when did she crawl back?
This is what? Friday?
- Yeah. - So, Friday. Three days...
- Never. - Huh?
She never left, Howie.
You're getting all weepy on me here, and I gotta get some sleep.
We're gonna go to the beach in the morning, so, let you in on the truth.
She never left.
She's always been right there.
But I...
Well, then...
Then why?
Why, Chad?
Because I could.
Oh, my God.
So how does it feel, Howie?
How does it feel to really hurt someone?
Oh, my God.
See you Monday.
Time is it?
It's around 1:00.
Not tired?
No. I was just finishing up a program.
You smell nice.
Thanks.
Did I hear somebody come over?
- I thought I did. - No.
I was just talking to myself.
Really?
Yeah. I was working on my presentation earlier, that's all.
You know me, right?
Sure do.
I get working.
Then I can sound like practically anybody.
Listen.
Listen to me!