(HUMMING)
(GRUNTS)
(GONG SOUNDING)
Whaa! Ooh, oww...
(YELPING)
Comin' through!
- MAX GOOF: Whoo! - BOBBY: Yeah! Dude!
MAX: Do that again, but this time don't fall down.
(HUMMING)
(YELPS)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Do you realize going off to college
means no more
well meaning, but totally smothering,
overprotective doting yucking dads?
Yeah, well, yours at least.
My dad's been counting down the days
until he can turn my bedroom into a bowling alley.
And we have a sure-fire way
to shoot straight to the top of the freshman heap.
ALL: The College X Games!
First freshman team to win it all.
First team to boot those number one Gammas
on their boot-tays.
The Gammas may be five-time winners,
but I hope they're ready for a losing streak.
ALL: Let's beat the Gammas!
Let's do it to it!
(ALL LAUGHING)
(EXCITED SCREAMS AND LAUGHS)
Gawrsh, Pete,
one day you're changing their diapers,
and the next thing you know,
they're all grown up and leaving for college.
Well, Goof, the way I see it,
it's my last night of babysitting
and I'm a free man.
Oh, yeah. (CHUCKLES)
Free, free, free, I tell you.
Yahoo! Ha ha!
Come on, Son.
I can't miss you if you won't leave. (LAUGHS)
Yeah, free.
Hey, why don't you get the boys?
Food's almost ready.
It's time to serve these little babies now.
Ha ha! Oww!
Nice rasta,
pasta, Max-man.
Whoa, Maxie's pretty good at that boarding stuff.
He is totally gonna kill at college.
Huh?
- Yeah! - (WHOOPING)
Now listen, Son.
That there X Games fiddle-faddle may be all well and fun,
but remember,
you're going to college to make something of yourselves.
Exactly.
You'll get a degree,
and the world will be your clam.
Uh, oyster, Dad?
No thanks, I'm saving room for weenies.
Now, let me show you exactly what I mean.
Oh, no.
Not the old horseshoe lecture!
You see, tossing horseshoes is a lot like how life works.
(COUGHS, SPUTTERS)
Sorry, Pete.
Like I was saying...
ALL: it's about staying focused on your goals.
Right.
You see, every once in a while,
life gives you an important tossing opportunity.
Like, uh, well, college, for instance.
If you want that diploma,
you've got to fix both eyes on it
like it was this here horseshoe stake.
And, with the proper consecration
and follow-through...
Come on, throw it, will ya!
...you should hear the clang of a ringer.
(SHRIEKS)
(RHYTHMIC CLANGING)
(GOOFY LAUGHING)
A ringer!
See, Maxie? You've just got to stay... focused.
MAX: PJ, how many of those are you gonna eat?
Hey, Goof, it's getting cold already!
(CLAMORING)
Hey, save a weenie for me!
Peej, isn't ten hot dogs enough?
Come on, pass 'em over here.
(LAUGHS TO HIMSELF) Oh, I can't wait to get out of here.
Here, let me help you pack.
Dad, I can do that.
Well, sure hope so.
I'm not gonna be there at college to pick up after you.
In fact,
it's gonna be a long time
before you see your old man again.
What?
Maybe Christmas.
Oh, Dad, it'll go by fast.
Not too fast, I hope.
It's time to take charge.
Live your own life.
- You're a grown man now, Maxie-Poo. - (SQUEAKING)
I'm not taking old Stuffed Bear to college, Dad.
- Sure, you are. - No.
(LAUGHS) What are you talking about?
Oh, you love Stuffed Bear. Come on!
Dad, I'm not kidding. No, Dad, please no!
(EFFORT GRUNTS)
Well, then,
I've got something else for you.
(EFFORT GRUNT)
Son, I want you to have this.
Whoa! It weighs a ton.
I bet it's one of those
combo TV/CD/VCR/laptop/ scanner/fax things, right?
Oh, man, they are so cool.
(CHORTLES) Too stunned to speak, huh?
No, just... stunned.
What is it?
This was my father's.
And now, Son... it's yours.
Thanks, Dad.
This means a lot to me.
(YAWNS) Listen, I'm going to turn in.
You know, big day tomorrow.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, Son.
(SQUEAKING)
(WHISTLING)
(HUMMING, CHORTLES)
Did you brush your teeth?
Yeah, Dad.
Comb your hair?
Yep.
- Put on clean underwear? - Dad!
PJ: Come on, Max.
- Gotta go. - But, Max!
- Whoooa! - Going already?
I gotta get there early for Freshman Orientation, Dad.
- See you. - What about breakfast?
You need your three squares a day.
We'll pick up donuts on the way.
Love you, miss you, see you at Christmas. Bye! Whoo-hoo!
Don't forget to have some milk with those donuts.
Goodbye, my little college man.
(SIGHS)
(SQUEAK)
(SOBS)
- (ROCK MUSIC) - (BOY HUMMING TO MUSIC)
Okay, dude, uh, south.
Wait, I mean...
I don't know. What do I look like, Magellan?
- MAX: P.J., you couldn't spell Magellan. - P.J.: Try hangin' a Louie.
No, the other Louie.
Louie, Huey, Dewey. What're you talkin' about here, huh?
Yo, it's right here. This way.
MAX: Yeah, Peej, Bobby's right.
Hey, Bob, um, who's driving?
- ALL: Huh?! (SCREAMING) - (HORN HONKING)
("Future's So Bright Gotta Wear Shades" by Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo)
(TIRES SCREECH)
Check... it... out!
(LOW CHATTER)
Gentlemen,
I welcome you to the first day
of the rest of our lives.
Wow. That's pretty deep.
You get that off a bumper sticker?
(EFFORT GRUNTS)
Yo, I spy the Gamma House,
which means...
that dude right there is the one,
the only,
Bradley Uppercrust the Third.
Whoa!
The College X Games King.
Yeah, until we take the crown.
(SQUEAKS)
Let's play ball, Dad!
(SIGHS) Max.
(STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS)
(SQUEAKS)
Hiya, Dad.
Maxie.
Mr. Goof, an assembly line is for assembling!
- (STARTLED YELP) - Stop daydreaming
and get back to work, or else!
Oh! Oh!
- (SHRIEKS AND GROANS) - (GASPS)
Whoaaaah!
Oh, no!
Look out!
(SHRIEKING)
(GOOFY GROANING)
(QUIET SQUEAKING)
- (GASPS) - (FOOTSTEPS)
(LOUD SQUEAK)
Goofy,
I warned you.
You're... (YELLS) fired!
(echoing)
(PLAYING SAXOPHONE)
("Don't Give Up" by Terrence Carson, Carmen Carter, John Avila, Carl Graves)
ALL THREE: Huh?!
PEOPLE ON SIDEWALK: Whoa! Wow!!
Great air, Max-a-million! (LAUGHS)
MALE STUDENT: Yeah!
Look at that guy go!
- I can't look at anything else. - Oh my gosh!
(CHATTER)
Whoa. Did you see that?
(CLAMORING)
Well, well, well.
Look what the freshman cat dragged in, baby. Some new meat.
Easy, big fella. That new meat looks like Gamma material.
Let's check him out.
Gammas, roll.
(GAMMA BOYS SHOUTING AFFIRMATIVELY)
(EFFORT GRUNTS) Ah!
Check it out.
Look who's following us.
(STUDENT WITH BOOKS GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLES) Let's just make sure it stays that way.
(COLLEGE GIRLS SHOUTING EXCITEDLY)
(COLLEGE STUDENTS CHATTERING)
GlRL: Grande cap, extra foamy, hold the whipped, cinnamon dust,
biscotti side.
- Iced double-tall, percent cap. - BOY: Tall, percent cap.
- Got any scones? - We got two.
Hey, you guys grab a table. I'll grab the java.
Life. (CLICKS FINGERS)
Life is like a lime.
It's tart and tangy.
Sweet, oh, so sublime.
Quiet, speechless, like a mime.
Bold and noisy, like a crime.
Don't you dare waste my time
'cause life can stop...
on a dime.
(STUDENTS SNAPPING FINGERS)
BOBBY: Bravo! Bravo! Encore!
Author, Arthur Miller!
Suddenly I'm feeling dizzy...
with emotion.
(GRUNTS)
Check it out, Bradley. He's over there.
I'm gonna go give him a Gamma welcome.
- (BRADLEY YELLS) - Oh, I'm sorry, I...
No.
It's, uh, it's all right. Really.
I'd wager if you were on a skateboard,
you wouldn't spill a drop.
(CHUCKLES) You'd win that bet.
It's my best event.
Hi. I'm Max.
Bradley.
Bradley Uppercrust the Third.
(TANK CLEARS THROAT)
Oh, yes. My right-hand man, Gamma brother, Tank.
The pleasure's all mine, baby.
Welcome aboard, little tyke.
You're class, the high kind.
Max, we have won every College X Games competition
since the beginning.
And we have decided to make you
our first draft pick.
Lucky you, huh? What do you think of that?
No way.
You want us to be Gammas?
Ha! You guys, you hear that? We're going to be part...
BRADLEY: Uh, hold on, pal.
This reservation's only for one.
Well, I'm sorry but PJ, Bobby and I are in this together.
It's all of us,
or none of me.
Max, Max, Max.
You don't want to be weighed down by those clowns, do you?
I thought you wanted to win.
Well, that's just what we're going to do. (SCOFFS)
Like you'll find any better competitors than my teammates.
They're the real deal.
Serious athletes.
Check it! Uh-huh.
(LAUGHTER)
The Dynamic Dorks! Come on.
The only thing you three could win
is a loser contest, baby.
(LAUGHTER)
Wow. Nice trick.
Do they go fetch and play dead too?
Why, yes.
As a matter of fact, they do.
Gammas, fetch!
Uh-oh.
This can't be good.
- (TANK CHOMPS AT BOBBY) - Back off, man.
I got a biscotti and I'm not afraid to use it.
(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)
All right. Quit toying with my emotions.
I thought we were friends.
See, I'm giving you the opportunity to join the Gamma Mu Mu Fraternity.
Mu Mu! (CHUCKLES) Who wants to join a herd of cows?
Tank?
Now, pray tell, sweetheart.
Would Mr. Uppercrust like a little power wedgie
for your viewing pleasure?
Hey, leave him alone.
Bobby!
Hey, don't worry, bro.
I'm a yellow belt.
(KARATE YELLS)
Hey, Daddy-o's.
This is a real L-7 scene.
Let's all just take a trip down the road of forgiveness and compassion.
Ooh! Passion. (CHUCKLING)
I like your style, Miss Mochaccino,
but I'm busy right now.
Well, I'm dizzy right now from watching your downward spiral.
Why don't you go off and save some whales or something?
- Ha! - (SNAPS FINGERS)
Oh, you slay me, Tiger.
You are the fly in my soup.
You are the eyelash in my eye.
You are so busy blowing out bad vibes in every direction
that we are all choking on your second-hand smoke. (SNAPS FINGERS)
(SNAPPING FINGERS)
(FINGER SNAPPING ECHOES)
(GRUNTS)
(YELLS) Knock it off!
What's wrong, Brad?
Don't you dare call me that.
Yeah. Don't forget, he's the king, buster.
Yeah, well, we'll dethrone you and the Gammas,
your royal lowness.
You'll be lucky to be my towel boy.
Why don't we just make a little wager on that?
Loser of the finals will be towel boy to the other.
You got a deal.
Be ready to wipe the dirt off my shoes, freshman.
Gammas out!
- BOY: Don't let the door hit ya. - GIRL: Later.
BOY 2: Good riddance.
That's the first time I ever saw the trash take itself out.
You've got the beat, boys.
You invented it, girl. (CHUCKLES)
You let your fingers do the talking, right!
WOMAN: Next.
(PHONE RINGING)
Well, Mr. Goof,
I notice you don't have a college degree.
Well, I did complete three years, but...
Look, doll, I'm afraid
we can only get jobs for people who have college degrees.
So, what do you need?
What is a degree?
Bingo! We have a winner.
What's a Goof to do?
Well, doll... uh, Mr. Goof.
The answer to your problem is simple.
The only way to build your career is to go back to college.
College? Me?
I was there in the '70s.
I'm too old for that now.
Come on, doll.
You're never too old to learn a new trick.
We, who are God-like now
- were once a mass of quivering purple... - (SNORING)
- ...flecked with bars of gold. - (CHUCKLING)
Insentient! But of joy or misery,
and tossed in terrible tangles...
- Mommy! I didn't do it! - ...of some wild...
- ...windswept... - (GOOFY CHORTLES)
Hi, everybody!
(YELLS)
(STUDENTS CLAMORING, LAUGHING)
I'm just a-yearnin' for some learnin'.
- (LAUGHTER) - Who is this goon?
Right on, brother. (CHORTLES)
Hey, Max, is my vision blurred, or does that guy look like your dad?
Maxie!
Kill me! Just kill me now!
Hey, Maxie.
It looks like you and me are gonna be classmates.
He's my son.
(STUDENTS LAUGH HYSTERICALLY)
Daddy's little baby couldn't be alone?
(SCREAMING) No!
And so, I got fired.
I guess I lost my focus.
Dad, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Well, look, if you're here to stay, I think we need to...
Focus more! You're absolutely right.
Now that I'm with you,
I won't be distracted no more. No, sirree.
I'm going to get me that college degree...
Whoa!
- What a bonehead. - Loser.
Dad, what I was saying is that we need to establish some ground rules.
Well, uh, sure, whatever you say.
First thing,
lose the wig.
But I need to look hip and groovy for college.
Dad, you're scaring people.
I know you're worried it might be hard to get into the swing of things.
Well, might be.
But I figure, two Goofs are better than one.
Two goofs, all right.
Just think, a whole 'nother year,
just you and me.
A year? Did he say a year?
Tell me he didn't say a year!
I heard a year. Hold me and tell me he didn't say a year.
- A year's like... that's forever. - (GROANS)
You realize this could severely affect campus hi-jinx-age.
Yeah. And how are we going to whip those Gammas now?
With your dad's practice interruptus?
Guys, cut the old man some slack. He has to be here.
He was fired and he can't find a good job without a degree.
Fired? Whoa.
You mean like his pink slip was showing? (CHUCKLES)
- Don't push it, man. - BOBBY: Whoa!
Look, I talked to him and laid out all the ground rules.
No interfering with X Games practice,
no hounding us about schoolwork, no coming into our room unannounced,
and no acting like a father.
Especially mine.
He's got his life.
I've got my life.
(ECHOING) My life, my life, my life.
Spooky.
(JOGGING STUDENT HUFFS AND PUFFS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Rise and shine. (CHORTLES) School's a-waitin'.
What do you say, boys?
Dad.
First class isn't until noon.
Maybe so, but every day starts with a good breakfast.
GOOFY: Whoooaaaaoooaa!
(GROANING, YELLING)
("Nowhere to Run" by John Avila)
PJ: You have smoke in your backs.
(GRUNTING)
- P.J.: Now look at you! - MAX: No!
(MAX GRUNTS)
Hey!
GOOFY: Looky!
(BELL RINGING)
Hey! Huh. Huh.
(MAX CHUCKLES)
MAX: Huh?
Hiya, Max.
(MOANS)
After we compare and contrast the Age of Enlightenment's dark period
with the Spanish Inquisition's recessionary trends,
we can get a head start on our "triggernorm," "triggy," ...the math!
Then, as a treat, I'll get us tickets to the Museum of Natural Arts and Sciences.
I hear there's a spectacular leech exhibit.
But only if we finish all our homework.
Huh?
Where are you going, Son?
Oh, yeah. Well, I was just gonna go to...
You know, go to the...
Take you to sign up for your library card, Dad!
All new students need one.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Good morning, gentlemen.
I am the head librarian, versed in all aspects of your library,
including but not limited to fiction, non-fiction,
periodicals, reference and policy.
How may I help you?
Hi there, Miss Marpoley. Marpole.
My dad needs a library card. Could you...?
Oh, it would be my pleasure.
We here at the college library believe that owning a library card
is a privilege, not a right.
Consequently, we expect students
to treat the Dewey Decimal System with respect.
You'll find these helpful to your library experience.
(GOOFY GASPS)
I'll be. Is that a genuine mood ring you're wearing?
Oh... (STAMMERS) yes.
Yes, it is.
I'm a collector of '70s memorabilia and such.
Sort of silly, huh?
Are you kidding?
This here's a Gilligan's Island fan club seashell.
Get out!
Do you remember when the Professor built an engine from coconut shells and sand?
Gawrsh, yeah.
Little buddy!
Come on. We're supposed to be practicing for the X Games.
I love all that '70s stuff.
Come on, guys. We're out of here.
Oh, gosh, remember the Boogie Duck?
That was my all-time favorite.
BOTH: (LAUGHING AND QUACKING)
Here at the College Library you'll find a most...
(GASPS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Miss Marpole!
In the library?
Really!
And now I...
I actually think the psych department will be most refreshing.
Well, uh, I really should be
getting back to work.
Say, um, Miss Marpole...
Oh, you can call me Sylvia.
Gawrsh. Sylvia. (CHORTLES)
I was... wondering if maybe... you'd like to...
Go out to dinner?
Then maybe afterwards...
Go dancing?
Sure. So, if you're free on, uh...
Saturday? Oh, I'd love to.
Seven o'clock?
All right.
See you then.
You know, Goofy,
you're pretty groovy.
Oh, shucks.
She said I'm pretty groovy. (CHUCKLES)
Hey, Maxie! Guess what?
Maxie?
I got a date.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Yeah!
I got a date.
Gotta tell Maxie.
There he is.
- Maxie. I got a... - Huh?
GOOFY: (SCREAMING) Whhaaaaaa!!
- Let go, Dad. - GOOFY: Yaaahh!
(SCREAMING) Whoooaaahhhooaaaaa! Whooaoa. Whoooaaa. Waa-hoo-hoo!
Hey, that guy is good!
Isn't that baby Goof's old man?
(CROWD CHEERS)
(CHEERING, WHISTLING)
- Wow-ee! - Give me that.
That sure was a heap of fun.
I see why you're so crazy about it.
Hey, Maxie,
what if I joined your team?
I mean, we could practice together, and wear them funny outfits and everything.
It'd be a lot of fun!
Dad, as fun as that sounds,
there are no openings on my team.
Okay?
Mr. Goof,
your performance was, without a doubt,
the most breathtaking display of alternative sport inventiveness
yet to be paralleled by mankind.
(CHORTLES) Gee, ah-yuck, thanks!
Whatever you said.
The Gammas, the number one team in the history of the X Games,
have an opening on our team,
and it has got your name on it, buddy.
Be a winner. Join us.
TANK: Welcome to the team.
That's real nice of you to ask,
but I'm really only interested in staying close to Maxie.
Uh, I'm not sure you understand this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Well... (CHORTLES)
I'm not sure you understand the bond between a father and his son.
Guys, I have a plan.
Well, if you change your mind,
here's my card.
Gammas, let's pack it up.
Gawrsh.
GAMMAS: Let's get outta here.
Listen, Dad, next to our team,
the Gammas are the team,
and they need you more than we do.
Yeah, the Gammas are, like, way hot, man.
Besides, we'll be around each other at practices and events all the time.
You'll have oodles of fun.
Well, Son, if you say so.
Go for it, Dad.
- GAMMAS: (LOW CHATTER) - Wait, uh, Mr. Uppercrust,
you can count me in.
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Gentlemen, please.
Gamma brother Goofy,
let me present you with your Gamma Mu Mu pledge pin.
Gammas, exit.
BRADLEY: Gamma brother Goofy?
(P.J. AND BOBBY LAUGH)
Ooh, yeah!
("Pressure Drop" by The Specials)
A crunch to us. (LAUGHS)
I can't believe it. It worked.
We unloaded my dad,
and now we can focus on winning.
ALL: Let's do it to it!
(SLURPING)
Hey, hi, I know you.
You're that awesome new skateboarder.
- Save a dance for me? - (GULPS)
No problem.
- (P.J. AND BOBBY LAUGH) - You dance?
I gotta see this.
Wow.
(FAKE FRENCH ACCENT) Me and a little crumpet like yourself
could make beautiful bongo music together.
Whoa. Easy, boy. You're fogging up my karma.
Hey, you want to sit with us?
Sure. Your cool balances out... (SNAPS FINGERS)
his fool.
Okay. Whatever.
GIRL: (CHUCKLES) Well...
If it's all the same, I, uh...
I forgot your name.
It is endemic of the current culture
that those with large stature
are overlooked, except by vultures,
with no regard to the depth of their souls,
the height of their passion,
the beauty of their moments.
Oh, wise Buddha boy.
How could anyone overlook such a bundle of yes-ness?
Let's dance.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Guess the Bob-boy's lost his touch.
(WHISPERING, INDISTINCT)
("Shake Your Groove Thing" by Peaches & Herb)
(STUDENTS GASPING IN SURPRISE)
Hey, what's going on?
Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing, yeah yeah
Show 'em how we do it now
Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing, yeah yeah
Show 'em how we do it now Show 'em how we do it now
Let's show the world we can dance
Bad enough to strut our stuff
The music gives us a chance
We do more out on the floor
Groovin' loose or heart to heart
We put in motion every single part...
If the Gammas don't keep my dad out of our hair,
his new girlfriend will.
- (CHUCKLES) - (HOWLS) Boogie!
Whoo-hoo!
Oh, you're swinging with some pretty cool canines there, papa dog.
Well, you are queen of the scene, my little java bean.
("You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" by Carmen Carter & Donnie McClurkin)
(SIGHS)
Oh, Goofy.
This is the best night of my life.
Mine too.
Oh, Sylvia!
(YELLS)
- GOOFY: Whoa! - (THUD)
- GOOFY: Whoa! - (SMACKING)
BRADLEY: Whooaooaaa.
Huh? (CHUCKLING)
Hey, what?
(SIZZLING)
- Hmm? (GASP AND YELPS) - (ALARM BLARING)
(YELPING)
(GROAN)
I'll see you at the qualifying rounds, freshmen.
And after, when you'll be bringing me my towel, boy!
Ah, this is everything I dreamed it would be.
This place puts the "rage" in "outrageous."
No kidding, it buries what we're used to.
Okay, all right. Just remember, there's nothing here we can't handle.
Oh, I seriously doubt that.
We're going to eat you alive, freshmen.
Oh, Brad, we're quaking on our boards.
ANNOUNCER: Attention! Would Gamma Team One and Team 99
report to the street competition platform.
Okay, guys, that's us.
Let's do it to it.
Good luck, Son.
Yeah, you too, Dad.
Hey-ho and what do you know?
Welcome to the sixth annual College X Games.
(CROWD CHEERS AND HOOTS)
SPORTSCASTER: Our contestants are going to spin,
twist, lunge and plunge
like there's no tomorrow.
Today's qualifying rounds determine who will compete in the semi-finals.
And now, let's see what's happening at our first venue,
the skateboarder's street competition
from our man on the street, Ken Clark.
Welcome, one and all. Today...
Thank you, Ken.
Word on the street is there's a new kid in town who poses a threat
to Bradley Uppercrust the Third.
That's right, Chuck, and his name is...
Max Goof.
- (CHEERING) - Max! Max!
Hey, Tank.
This is it, man. Your competition.
This is the big one, bro. Stay focused.
Just like we always do.
It's a little insurance, baby.
With no deductible.
Crazy idea.
You do the honors, Brother Goof.
Me? Gawrsh...
Well, sure.
CHUCK: Well, well, what do we have here?
Looks like there's been a last-minute substitution.
That's right, Chuck.
Skateboarding for the Gammas is...
CHUCK: Max Goof's father, Goofy.
Patriarch and son against each other in a battle of skill and dexterity.
(CHUCKLES) This is gonna be good.
(CROWD CHEERS)
Adios, compadre.
SPORTSCASTER: Starting off bad and looping out
with a double flip to a head butt.
But he's up and ready to rip.
Looks like Brother Goof needs a boost.
(GOOFY YELLING)
SPORTSCASTER: And a huge triple flip on the corner pipe.
Fifty-fifty slide uphill to a flip transfer.
Oh! What a lip side to a hand plant! Whoa, Nelly!
And skating with the speed of a cheetah,
that's going to be time for Goofy.
Oh, what a show!
That's right. Looks like the new kid is no match
for the unbeatable Gammas and their newest member...
Goofy!
Let's see what the judges have to say.
(BEEPING)
- Perfect tens across the board, - (CROWD GROANS)
except for the German judge. Nine on that one.
Whoa. Blown away by his own dad.
Quiet. I'm trying to concentrate here.
CHUCK: It's Max's time to skate, and here he goes.
Starting off big with a half-CAB across the box jump.
Whoa, losing his balance to a knee slide.
That is going to hurt his score
unless he has something big.
Okay, carving the quarter pipe.
Tail grab over the hip into a lip slide on the rail to slam...
That has got to hurt.
Come on, Max. Get up!
CHUCK: But he's okay.
Let's see if he can end strong.
McTwist to a one-handed stall.
This is a new one. I have never seen this move, folks.
(CROWD CHEERING)
CHUCK: Hopping back down to the transition.
Sick three-sixty,
- and... time! - (CROWD CHEERING)
(BEEPING)
CHUCK: Wowee!
With barely above a six-point average,
Team 99 just makes it to the semi-finals
by the skin of their teeth.
Hey, Max, it's okay, man.
We're in.
Get real.
CROWD: (CHANTING) Goofy! Goofy! Goofy!
Witness, gentlemen.
Victory is ours.
And most importantly,
we taught our little freshmen foes not to mess with the Gammas.
CROWD: Goofy! Goofy! Goofy! Goofy! Goofy! Goofy!
Maxie!
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Hey, Maxie!
I've been looking all over for you, Son.
Where you been?
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
Save your breath.
You may have won this time, but, Dad... (GROANS)
this campus isn't big enough for both of us.
I didn't mean for it to turn out this way, Max.
I was just trying to get closer to you.
Don't you get it?
I'm trying to get away from you!
I'm not a little kid anymore.
Just leave me alone
and get your own life.
(SIGHS)
Good morning, people.
It would appear that it is time to start.
- You may open... - (DOOR OPENS)
Oh, Mr. Goof,
nice of you to join us today.
Huh? Oh, yeah.
Right.
You may open your envelopes and begin.
Let's not have any wandering eyes.
("Come On Get Happy by The Partridge Family)
MAX'S VOICE (AS FAIRIES): (ECHOES) Hi, Dad.
(SONG SLOWING, WARPING)
(YELPS)
- You're... fired! - (HORN HONKING)
I noticed you don't have a college degree.
Come on, Son. l can't miss you if you won't leave! (CACKLING)
Whoa! (GROANS)
- MAX: Get your own life! - Huh?
MAX: Get your own life!
Leave me alone and get your own life.
(SOBBING)
PROFESSOR: Pencils down.
I said...
pencils down.
Wait a minute, I'm not finished.
- I've got... (PANICKED GASPS) - It's over, Mr. Goof.
(SIGHS)
Oh, Pete.
What am I gonna do now?
Look, it's no big deal.
All that book learning doesn't prepare you for doodley squat.
It's useless in the real world.
Ha! All them square roots and circumnavigating, circumference...
It's all garbology. Look here.
If you know that four quarters adds up to a simolian, you'll survive.
Anyone who tells you anything different is priming your pump.
(LAUGHING)
Take it from me, pal.
(THINKING) If you want that diploma, you've got to fix both eyes on it
like it was this here horseshoe stick.
That's it!
I lost my focus.
I gotta get back there and straighten things out.
Focus.
- (CAR STARTING) - (TIRES SCREECHING)
Did I miss something?
(CLOCK CHIMING)
Hey, I know you! Aren't you...?
Yeah. Max.
Goofy's son! Oh! He is rad.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(NEON BUZZING)
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
Hmm. Do you ever wonder why we're always, like...
wearing gloves?
Grande cappuccino.
Make it a double.
- Hey, Max. - GIRL: Grande cap, double it.
Be here now, bro.
We thrive on the singularity of the you that is one with your selfness.
That's just the new PJ speak for,
"Where you been, buddy?"
I've decided this school's only big enough for one Goof.
I'm transferring out of here.
Excuse-ay moi moi?
Wait.
Hold it. Come on.
That means you can't be on the X Games team.
Exactly. You don't want me on the team, anyway.
I lost in my best event.
Oh, come on, Max-man. That was a one-time freak fest.
You could beat any of those losers any day.
I've already decided.
I'm out of here.
Max, Max, Max.
Admit defeat...
and defeat will surely admit you into permanent custody, my man.
If I can't even beat my father,
who is the most athletically-challenged man in the universe,
how can you expect me to beat the other competitors?
We're starting in last place because of me.
That never stopped us before.
You wanna give that Gamma geek Bradley
the satisfaction of knowing he forced us out?
Well, no.
You want to let the crowd who once cheered for you,
cheer for someone else?
Especially when that someone else is your old man?
No!
Are you gonna be someone else's towel boy?
No.
Together we can do it!
You're right.
We can still beat them.
- Let's whip those Gammas. - (WHOOPING)
Mission possible!
ALL: Let's do it to it!
(CHEERS AND HOWLS) Yeah!!
Boys will be boys.
(WHISPERING) Stands me up, doesn't even call me.
Doesn't apologies.
Doesn't write to me.
He could send a note or something.
Sylvia, I...
If you let me, I...
Shh! No talking in the library.
Gawrsh, Sylvia.
I really care about you.
Well, if a certain someone truly cared about another someone,
you'd think someone would show up for a certain special dinner,
or at least apologies for not showing up,
or even call, or something!
(GROANS) You're right.
I'm so sorry.
I let my head get so filled up with fiddle faddle
I plumb lost track of everything
that's important to me.
- Counting you. - Huh?
Can you ever forgive me?
How can I not forgive you?
Oh, Sylvia,
I gotta get my grades up.
And quit those dumb old Gammas.
- And most important... - Shh!
And most important,
get my son back.
Well, what are we waiting for?
I've got a yearnin' for some learnin'.
- (IMITATES GOOFY CHORTLE) - (CHORTLES)
Gawrsh!
Sylvia?
("Knock on Wood" by Carmen Carter)
You can do it. Come on.
Yeah! One!
Go, Goofy. Thattaway!
Let's do it to it.
Oh! Oooh! You did it!
You did it! Oh, look, all A's!
- (LAUGHING) - Whoa!
I am just so proud of you, Goofy.
Oh! Let's go celebrate.
You know I'd love to,
but I got a few more things to take care of.
So, you see,
I have to quit the team.
Excuse me?
- You what? - No way.
What is he talking about?
What makes you think you can change your mind
on the last day of the competition?
Should I knock some sense into his big melon?
Whoa. Down, Tank. Easy, boy.
If you're quitting the Gammas to join that freshman geek son of yours,
you got another thing coming.
Bullseye, baby.
Dog-boy's in trouble and daddy's gonna bail him out.
(GAMMAS LAUGH)
No siree, sir.
(YELPS) My bunion hurts!
I'm not gonna be on anyone's team.
Smart man,
but you forgot one thing.
Nobody, I repeat,
nobody, quits the Gammas!
If you were such darn winners before,
you'll be just fine without me.
- I'm leaving and that's that. - You're not leaving the Gammas.
(YELLS)
- The Gammas are leaving you. - Sayonara.
- BOY: Yeah, hasta la vista, baby! - (DOOR SLAMS)
Gee, I think they're a little sore at me.
Oops. Better return my Gamma pin.
BRADLEY: We'll win how we always win.
- And how's that, Gammas? - TANK: Skill?
BOY: Our good looks? What?
BRADLY: No, you dense dolts.
We'll cheat.
ALL: Cheat, cheat, cheat!
Just like we did last time, sweetheart.
And that was a great cheat.
Now I have a better plan.
I gotta warn Maxie.
This is it, guys.
Championship time.
Oh, uh... Hiya, fellas.
- (CROWD CHEERING OUTSIDE) - Hi, Mr. Goof.
Gee, Max,
I know you're still sore at me, but...
I came to warn you that the Gammas have been cheating all along.
Yeah. Did Bradley tell you to say that?
Stop wasting my time, Dad. I gotta stay focused.
Good luck, Son.
CHUCK: Ladies and gentlemen,
put on your seatbelts and hold onto your hats.
Oh, my.
It's time for the high-flying,
gravity-defying,
no time for crying,
College X Games.
Let's get vertical!
All righty, now.
We begin with the eight qualifying teams in a semi-final round
until we're down to the two best teams.
Then they'll be fighting for first place in the College X Games Championship.
That's right, Chuck.
In the semi-finals we'll see rock-climbing,
luge runs, and more.
Won't that be fun.
The leading team to beat, as always, is the Gammas.
And their three competitors are Bradley Uppercrust the Third,
Tank and Slouch.
- Come on, what happened to Goofy? - We want Goofy!
Wow! What do you know, looks like Goofy's a no-show.
What happened to Goof, man?
Hey, Brad.
What did you do with my dad?
He didn't make the cut.
See, he was never Gamma material.
Okay, so let's go down to the semi-final round,
which begins with the rock climb.
What the...?
(YELLING)
- (CHUCKLING) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! - (CROWD CHEERING)
- (WHOOPING) - Yes!
(CROWD CHEERS)
Whoa!
- (CROWD CHEERING) - Yay!
Whoaaaa!
(CROWD CHEERING)
The semi-finals have resulted in just team one and Team 99
going head to head in the finals.
The grueling competition
has really taken its toll on the athletes this afternoon, folks.
But now let's strap in for our final and deciding event,
The X Games Triathlon.
We're seconds away from what promises to be an exciting finale
between these two fierce competitors.
Take your positions.
On your mark, get set...
(YELPS)
(WHISTLE TWEETING)
False start. False start. Both teams back on the line. Back here.
Hold on. Bradley just blasted our third guy into the next state.
Why, that is absurd. I did nothing of the sort.
That's what my dad's been trying to tell me.
Can we get on with the race, please?
Wait a minute. Uh, one, two...
You don't seem to have enough team members now, do you?
Rules are rules.
You have to field the full team, or you forfeit to the Gammas.
Wait. That's not fair. We don't know anyone else.
Oh, seems we have a little delay here, folks.
Team 99 is short a man and will be disqualified if one is not found
in just one-and-one-half minutes.
Dad? It's me, Max. If you're out there...
Omigosh, Maxie's in trouble!
Dad, relax, I'm not in trouble.
It's just, the team needs you.
I need you.
You hear that? I gotta go help him.
Good thing I always carry my lucky horseshoe.
I'm a-coming, Maxie!
GOOFY: (YELLS) Whooaaa!
Well, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't come.
That's it. They're disqualified.
Nope, not yet, there's still five more seconds.
Four, three, two...
(GOOFY YELLING)
- (CROWD GASPING) - (CHORTLES)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Come on, no fair. He's too late.
Not by my watch.
Son, about the last couple of weeks.
Dad, what do you say we take care of this race first?
You got it.
Take your positions.
On your mark, get set...
- (GUNSHOT) - (CROWD CHEERING)
GOOFY: Whooaaaahhh!
CHUCK: Gammas lead as they head out of the stadium.
- Operation Grandma up ahead. - Goody, goody.
Uh-oh. There's pedestrians on the course.
(SCREAMING)
Gawrsh! Sorry, ma'am.
(CHUCKLES) Wink, wink.
Operation Hay Bale.
Isn't that Mickey Mouse over there?
- Mickey Mouse? Where? - Oh, no, he's over there.
SPORTSCASTER: Team 99, cruising along.
- Holy moly, what is this? - (YELLING)
SPORTSCASTER: Looks like a little street skating detour.
(YELLING)
SPORTSCASTER: Side by side soul grinds all the way down the ledge.
And Team 99 has regained the lead.
(GOOFY YELLS)
The whip, Tank.
Seven pin split, gutter boy.
SPORTSCASTER: Team Gamma blows right by the freshmen.
The racers are approaching the bicycle leg.
Gamma still holding its lead.
Off with the skates, and on to the bikes.
Both teams are blasting through the rhythm section
with a whole lot of style.
The freshmen are right on Team Gamma's tail.
Look out. Bobby seems to have sailed off the course.
What a bummer for Bobby.
Bobby, you all right?
Keep going, Max.
SPORTSCASTER: It is really heating up now, folks,
as both teams are approaching
the huge quarter pipe to start the final leg of the event.
Right away, Team Gamma starts working the course
with Team 99 nipping at their heels.
- They're moving off the ramp and... - ...and onto the zipper.
(GOOFY YELLING)
(YELLING)
CROWD: (GASP) Ohhh!
BRADLEY: Tank, take him out!
I will not be ignored.
Nobody finishes this race but me.
(GASPS) Maxie!
It's about staying focused on your goals.
(MAX YELLS)
What the...? Aaaaahhhh!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
CHUCK: Oh, say it ain't so!
No!
I'm a-comin', Maxie!
It's looking bad and it's not gonna get prettier, folks.
(TANK COUGHING)
Help! Bradley!
Gammas! Help me!
Anyone!
- 9-1-1, baby. - (COUGHING)
Tank, talk to me, man.
TANK: Over here, man.
Dog boy.
- Am I glad to see you, sweetheart. - (MAX COUGHING)
GOOFY: Max, where are you?
Where are you, Max?
Maxie? Oww!
Dad! Help me lift this beam off of Tank.
Come on. We're about to be baked Alaska here.
Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like it's all over.
CHUCK: Wait a minute.
I can't believe my eyes, folks.
They are alive!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Go for it, Son.
That's some kid you got there.
GOOFY: You're wrong, Tank.
He's not a kid anymore.
CHUCK: Team 99 is still in this race.
Max is making up the distance, and takes the lead.
Bradley's battling as they come to the finish.
Team 99 wins!
Wow, folks. I just can't believe...
I can't even finish my sentences.
Oh, my. What a day.
(SIGHS, CHORTLES)
Congratulations, Son.
BRADLEY: Ahem.
Congratulations, Max.
I haven't forgotten our agreement.
The bet's off, Bradley.
But I think you owe him something.
TANK: Brad...
Hi. It's me. The guy you let down.
Hey, Tank, baby. Who loves you, baby?
You're going down like a four-cent pair of socks.
You and me, baby, all the way.
A vacancy at the Gamma House.
Taking applications.
Okay, let go of me you big, fat jerk!
Time to get on the last jet to nowhere.
(BRADLEY YELLING)
CHUCK: Oh, it doesn't look good now, folks.
(WHOOSH)
It's like I'm in a bad dream and it just won't quit.
That's right, Chuck.
Congratulations, Dad.
Here.
Gawrsh, Son, what's this?
Well, you gotta open it to find out.
But... this is yours.
No, Dad.
This is for you.
Read the inscription.
"I might not be your little boy anymore,
but I'll always be your son."
BOBBY: Okay, hugfesters,
free eats back at the dorma.
Pizza. Double cheese-a.
(MUNCHING) Mm!
Scrumptious.
- (LAUGHS) Come on, Dad, let's feast. - (CAR HORN HONKING)
Sorry, Son, but I got plans of my own.
I'm really gonna miss you, Dad.
Sure, it was rough for us at the start,
but it turned out to be a cool thing.
You, here at college with me.
But now it's over, and we'll go on with our own lives, and...
You didn't tell him yet?
Didn't tell me what?
Well, I wanted to surprise him.
Son, guess what?
I got me a job right here on campus.
But, but you...
So, I could be close to you.
But I thought that you were... You told me you...
Just kidding. (CHORTLES)
He is so goofy.
- What do you say we go for... - A picnic?
GOOFY: Ah-yuck.
- Then maybe even a... - Walk on the beach?
I'd love to.
You know, somehow I knew you would. (CHORTLES)
("Right Back Where We Started From" by Cleopatra)
("Future's So Bright Gotta Wear Shades" by Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo)