Hold on.
- Hilary! - What?
Keys.
- Hey! Whoo! - You couldn't handle it.
What's up?
Get out ofhere!
Now, these are a collector's item.
You've got me on hold for 10 minutes already.
Look at that. There's only 39 left.
Oh, I love that hat.
And Roger Callahan...
and Misty Ryan...
and the Kinsella boy...
and-and his sister... what's her name?
- Rosemary. - Rosemary. Exactly.
Out of that whole gang, you were the smartest.
- You had the best report cards. - The best report cards.
And now she's a Realtor.
She has a Cadillac with a sign on it.
Hello. Hello?
Hmm. Could you at least put out the cigarette while you eat?
Hello. Oh, look at that! There's only 15 left.
Well, how 'bout the business course, then?
You could go back. You could.
Then call Danny.
Tell...
- A guy cheats on you once. - Don't.
And you walk out on him like he shot somebody.
Go back to him, yell at him, holler at him...
but make something happen, Hilary, for once in your life.
At least he supported you.
You missed it, Mom.
Didn't know it was gonna happen quite that fast, though. Isn't she something?
16 Nob Hill?
- Right up those stairs, miss. - Thanks.
Uh, straight back and to the right.
Thank you.
Will you please! You too! Here.
Hi. What's happening?
Take a seat. Fill this out, please.
Hi.
Does anybody have a pen?
Thank you for coming. We'll be in touch with the agency.
Ms. O'Neil.
Hi.
I know you're nervous. Yes.
- Please, have a seat. - Everything's in place, so relax.
Yes, bags are packed. Plane is waiting. Hotel is waiting.
All of Japan is waiting.
She's not on the agency list, David.
Yes. Yes.
Uh-huh.
- I have my personal briefs in the suitcase with my socks. - You're not on the agency list.
Oh, no. I'm answering the ad.
The very moment, Marvin, the second. Yes, I promise.
Right. Listen, Marvin.
I have to... I have to go.
- Take a pill, Marvin, please. I'll see you in Japan.
Excuse me.
- Ah, yes, Miss... - O'Neil.
I'm afraid, Miss O'Neil...
my son ran this ad...
and, uh, long story short, I need a nurse for my son.
- Are you a nurse? - No, but I thought that it said...
- I mean, only a few things... - I'm sorry.
Thank you for coming.
No, thank you for having me.
- Give her cab fare, David. - I don't want cab fare.
- Give her cab fare. - I don't want your goddamn cab fare!
Give her cab fare and hire the last nurse we saw.
Miss. Miss, please, come back.
Miss, the farther we go down, the farther we must go back up.
I'm not going back up.
Understand, this is my duty.
If I'm required to chase you back to, God forbid, Oakland, I will.
Oh, what a marvelous day.
Yes, all... all right.
And I quote, "There has been a terrible mistake.
Would you please come back to the house for an informal interview downstairs?"
- Downstairs? - Yes. Please?
Go ahead. It's all right.
Yes. Please come in.
I'm Victor Geddes.
- Trapped. - Hey, what's goin' on here?
No, no. I... I'm sorry.
A joke. Um, an icebreaker.
Oh. Well, I can see why the job's still open.
- Ms. O'Neil? - Hilary. Yeah.
Hilary.
Good.
This is going very well.
How old are you?
- Twenty-three. - I'm 28.
You are not a nurse.
- No, I am not a nurse. - But you were a candy striper?
Well, yeah, in school...
but I dropped out.
Well, I was in Future Nurses of America.
I was the vice president. Alert the media.
No, that's...
- What did you do? - We went to the hospital after school.
- Mercy? - Uh, Our Lady.
- Oakland. - It's where I'm from.
I interrupted.
- Oh, right. I dropped out. - You worked there?
Right. Well, the sisters... You didn't go to Catholic school?
The sisters at the hospital talked to the sisters at the school...
and if we did something like, um...
wear a skirt too short or committed some mortal sin...
such as French kissing...
Ah.
Then we got the terrific duties at the hospital.
- Bed pans. - Bed pans.
Changing sheets.
Uh, cleaning all kinds of things.
But sometimes they let us change the babies...
and then point them out to their parents through the glass...
hold them up.
That's about it.
I have leukemia.
I've had it for, uh, 10 years.
I'm 28. Uh... I said that.
So, since high school.
U- Uh, not the whole time.
I've had remissions. I've led a pretty normal life.
Been to Europe.
Finished college. Ran the dash.
The hundred.
You're not the first woman in my house.
I, uh...
Do you know anything about chemotherapy?
Well, I know it's a treatment for...
They give me a course of it every time I fail their blood test.
It, uh...
it's pretty...
Well, I need help during it.
Want the job?
You make it sound so attractive.
Your father said...
Forget my father.
- Well, he said you needed a nurse. - Forget what he said.
- Well, if he's the one hiring... - He's not hiring.
He is flying toJapan in a luxurious airplane. I am hiring.
Uh, if you choose to take this job...
you will be working for me, not for my father.
So why would you pick me?
Oh...
I got it.
I had the shortest skirt, huh?
Oh, actually, no, there was one with a shorter skirt...
but he was never a candy striper.
Anyway, um...
it's room and board...
and, uh, $400 a week.
Cash?
This is your room.
If you take the job.
He's got a cold, or what?
- How sick? - Cancer.
Oh, shit, Hils. Maybe I don't want to hear this.
- Okay. How's Jim? - Jim's a prick.
How's his prick, then?
Mike, give us two beers.
Okay, so what's this guy look like?
- Upper classy, Nob Hill. - Hmm. College snot.
- I kinda get the feeling that he was... - He was what, Hils?
- Cute. - Well, go ahead, girl.
- You gonna take it? - I don't know. The place isn't bad.
Fancy antiques. I have my own bathroom. It's not in the hall.
- How much a week? - Four hundred big ones.
Fuck me! Not you.
Grab it, Hils. Your mom would go crazy.
You could buy the Cadillac she's always talkin' about, go shoppin' every day.
You can buy the outfit for me... What?
Just be cool, girl. Don't worry about it.
Hey, hey, baby. You need a walk home?
Hey, watch it.
Yeah, yeah.
Ah. Welcome.
- Thanks. - Oh, let me...
Uh, that'll be all. Thank you, Malachi.
Yes, sir.
That'll be all, Malachi.
Wait.
You coming in this room is not part of the deal.
I never thought it was.
Pardon me.
Uh, yes.
- How are you doing? - My friend, how are you?
- Fine. - This is, uh, Moamar.
Moamar Gadhafi.
He, uh, drives me every Monday morning to the, uh, chemo.
- Hilary O'Connell. - My honor.
O'Neil.
O'Neil. I'm sorry.
Peter Schmidt, 1886.
Barth and Kenitzer, 1892.
Both of them stood up to the earthquake.
The incomparable Hiss and Weekes...
1910.
Oh, Ronald McDonald, 1986.
You know, the chemicals they inject me with, th...
Actually, they're poison.
- Poison? - Mmm.
Hiss and Weekes again, 1911.
Yes, the idea is to kill the cancer...
and, uh, not me.
So, anyway, there might be some reaction.
- What kind of... - Oh, sweating.
Shaking and vomiting.
Sometimes it makes me scream.
Ah, Mercy Hospital.
1936.
- Miss O'Neil? - What?
- Do you want me to stay? - I don't know. No.
I'll give him a call tomorrow.
Okay. Okay.
It's okay.
No, no. No.
- How's that? - Thank you. Thank you.
Oh.
Too loud!
- Too loud!
It's up... too loud!
Too loud.
Okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
Come on. Come on, come on.
Let me wrap this around you.
- Oh, much too loud. - No, I turned it down.
- Much too loud. It's much too loud. - It's okay. I turned it down.
Come on. Let me get you into the bed.
Okay? I've got you.
I've got you. I've got...
Okay.
The room is humming.
Go to sleep.
Shit.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
I don't... I don't get it. What do you mean, "poison"?
I mean poison.
I mean, I thought he was gonna die.
I thought, one more time and this guy is gonna fucking die.
Shauna, I need help.
I feel sorry for him. I do.
I don't think anybody comes to see him.
I wish I knew how to care for him, but I don't.
He needs a nurse.
He needs somebody who can...
deal with this sort of thing.
I don't think I can deal with this.
I don't.
I'll have to tell him tonight.
No.
You've reached the home of Victor Geddes. Leave a message after the tone.
This is your father. Are you there?
I know you're there.
I'm calling to find out how the chemo went.
Are you all right?
I understand you didn't hire the nurse from the agency. You got that redhead.
I guess I don't have to ask why.
I'll be back in a couple of weeks. I love you, Victor.
- Dinner. - Thank you.
- Eggs. - Thanks.
That's all this redhead could find. There's no real food in the house.
No. No.
Unless you want a Twinkie omelet.
Twinkie omelet.
Uh... Oops.
Oh. Oh, I'm... Oh, God, I'm sorry.
- No, that's all right. It's nothing. - No, it's...
I'm sorry. Is this important? Is this your diary?
No, it's nothing. It's, uh, notes.
I'm, uh...
This is what I do. It's my Ph. D. Thesis.
I've been working on it for five years.
When I can, uh, I will finish it.
I'm determined to finish it.
- What's it on? - Uh, art.
Art history. Do you know the German impressionists?
Do they live in Oakland?
Do... Like, um, Renoir?
Or, uh, Monet? Gauguin?
Uh, van Gogh.
- The flowers? - Sunflowers.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Well, that's not who I'm doing.
Oh.
Would you like to see who I'm doing?
Klimt.
Gustav Klimt.
He was obsessed with women.
He needed them the way most people need food.
Valerie Neuzil.
He called her "Wally." She was 16.
For a while, she was the embodiment of it all...
beauty, love, sex...
until he got bored and passed her on.
She lived only another five years, then died...
it is said, of a broken heart.
Too late for spying, Malachi.
- Never too late, sir. - Good night, Malachi.
Good night, sir.
Dante Gabriel Rossetti.
Also obsessed, but with just one woman.
Elizabeth Siddell, his wife.
She was only 28 when she killed herself with a drug called laudanum.
Beautiful name for a drug.
Rossetti couldn't stop painting her image over and over again.
Until he died just a few years later.
Um, Klimt again.
It's called "The Kiss."
Did he use real gold?
I should have explained the, uh, chemo...
more clearly to you.
It wasn't fair.
So, if you... if you'd like, I can pay you now.
For the week.
Uh, you've earned every penny of it.
And, uh, we can... we can just...
you know, we can just, uh...
It's okay.
Thank you, Moamar.
I'll pull this back for just a second.
I was reading today that the survival rate...
of adult onset leukemia...
is now 50%...
and it is even greater...
with aggressive therapy.
Here we go.
Was therapy aggressive enough for you?
This is gonna get warm in just a minute, okay?
No. Victor, what can I do?
- What can I do? What do you want me to do? - Nothing. Nothing!
- What do you want me to do? - Nothing!
There's nothing you can do.
Not a goddamn motherfucking thing!
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck.
I'm right here.
I know. I know.
I know.
All gold. That's right. All gold.
- This is the epitome, you might say... - Oh!
She has teeth. See?
That is so rare. You never see that.
I mean, anybody can paint a little closed mouth...
Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Tell me that's not a snake.
It's a part of a snake. The whole snake's too expensive.
- He eats that? - He doesn't eat.
Well, Hilary, honey, make him a ham.
I mean, it's hot. It sticks to the ribs.
Ham has too much fat and too much salt.
You can get two or three dinners out of it and some sandwiches.
Your grandmother never ate Chinese snake for lunch, for God's sakes.
- Or Aunt Elma, who lived to be what... - 206?
Ninety-two years old, thank you very much.
She smoked a pack of Luckys and drank a pint of scotch every day ofher life.
God rest her soul. Did he pay you yet?
He offered.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And you said, "It's okay."
And I'm not married, and Rosemary Kinsella has a Cadillac.
- Do you do his wash too? - No, Mom, I don't.
The man has cancer and weighs 14 pounds, but I tell him...
"You want clean slacks? Then get off your skinny ass and wash them yourself."
I just thought maybe you were a nurse instead of a cleaning lady.
Who makes a better wage than I do, by the way.
And is it possible... is it just possible...
that he wants a little more than a... ham dinner, huh?
Uh-huh. Huh?
Sorry. Is the music too loud?
Uh, no. May I come in?
Um, just a second.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Is everything all right? - Mm-hmm.
You have something, um...
Oh. Thanks.
Oh, uh, did I say thank you for the other night?
You said "fuck" a lot.
Well, thank you.
So it's almost 8:00.
And, uh, you're not going out.
Uh, I mean you could. You can. You're allowed.
You don't have to stay home.
- It's not, uh, part of the deal. - Thanks.
But you're not.
So, um...
how 'bout a date?
Malachi.
- I, uh, let myself in. Yes. - Let yourself in, yes.
Shall I leave you two alone?
It's not necessary, sir. Your mail.
And your news.
- Thank you for the personal delivery. - My pleasure, sir.
One additional news item. Your father is returning at the end of the week.
And may I assume from the intense odor of mayonnaise in the air...
that, uh, we will be dining in tonight?
Actually, no. We're going out.
Aren't we? Going out?
Sure.
We're going out.
You look great.
The Chronicle, the food review, said it was the best new place in town.
- The best, uh... Isn't this great? - It's great.
- Okay. - Oh.
Okay.
- Great. Thank you. - Certainly, sir.
My mother said you don't have to like everything...
but you have to try everything.
Oh.
My mother always said, "Pass the Velveeta."
- What is it? - Raw cow.
Dead.
What if I throw up?
Then I'll take care of you.
Go ahead.
Carpaccio.
- Isn't that great? - It's great.
What do they, um, charge for something like this?
I don't know. Uh, 30, was it?
Thirty? Wow.
- Wow. - What?
No, it's great.
This place is great.
It's not great, is it?
Victor...
- Hi! - Hey, hey! Hil!
Baby! What's goin'on?
This is Victor. This is Jim.
- How are you doin', Jim? - All right, all right.
- Come on. Let's jam. - Shall we dance?
- No, no, I'm... - Could you hold my jacket?
- Yes. Of course. - Don't be nervous.
Are you dancing or taking up space?
- Watch out. Coming through! - Whoa!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Sorry, man.
- Hi. - You were great.
Thanks.
Hey, look out!
This place isn't really that great either, is it?
- Shall we go back to the restaurant? - No.
Arthur Rubinstein.
He was almost 80 when he played this. I met him.
My... My mother took me to his apartment. I shook his hand.
Size of a basketball player's. This little, skinny man.
How'd she know him?
He was a client of my father's law firm.
- Oh. I'm impressed. - My father is a very impressive man.
- Do I get a cigarette if I drink this? - No.
How is this one?
- Mmm. - Mmm?
Mm-hmm. And the hits keep coming.
- It's awfully late. - One more. This is the best one.
I'm sure you have a story to go with it about some beautiful dead woman.
Yes. My mother.
This was her favorite song.
- She died when I was nine. She was beautiful.
I'm sorry.
Dance?
Thanks for the date.
I'm done with the chemotherapy.
- Uh, that was the last one. - Really?
Yeah. It's a course. It's over.
I thought you had to take a test.
- Would you like to call my doctor? - No.
- Go ahead. The number's on the desk. - I said no.
I'm sorry.
Uh, that's what you get for saving my life.
Believe me, it's done.
And, uh, to celebrate, we are going away.
- Where? - Up north.
I haven't been out of here for years.
- What about your father? - Uh, I'll call him in the morning.
A vacation.
I need to finish my thesis. The door buzzes every five minutes here.
- Once in two weeks. - It'll be an adventure.
We deserve an adventure, a safe adventure.
It's only a couple-hour drive right back to the hospital.
Look, I will sign a contract, okay?
I, Victor Geddes, promise to return if anything happens.
Anything. You name it.
- Like you die? - No.
I'm not going to die.
I'm going to recover, but I can't do it without help.
I can't do it without you.
- It's a 55 zone. - What?
If you drive any faster, this heap will blow up.
This is not a heap.
This is a 1974 Cadillac, bought and paid for by yours truly.
- Nice color too. - It's a cool color. It's a cool car.
Can you say that, Victor? "Cool"?
I can say "70 miles an hour." I can say that.
Well, then... why don't you drive?
No! Please don't do that. I can't. I can't drive. Hilary.
- Are you kidding me? - Thank you for your compassion.
I'm sorry.
My father had a driver. I never learned how.
- I think it's time you started to learn. - No, please don't do that!
- It's cool, huh? - Take... Take the wheel.
I'm helping you. I'm helping you stay between the lines.
There you go. You're doing fine. There you go.
- I know why you like it here. - Why?
- 'Cause all these buildings have dates on them.
Oh, look at that. Don't look. Watch the road.
- Goin' a little fast? - What?
I'm kidding. You're driving, like, 23 miles an hour.
Scared you?
Thank you.
Oh, look. Hi!
We just moved in!
Kind and friendly neighbor.
Here, let me get that.
- It's okay. - It's okay.
You okay?
So beautiful.
What is this?
Those are ampules of morphine.
- For pain. - Isn't a doctor supposed to do this?
Oh, I know precisely what to do.
Years of experience.
- Do you need one? - No, I won't need one.
Put them away. I won't need one.
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, it's okay. I'm done.
Come on.
- They'll start by staring. - No, they won't.
Someone will ask, "Hey, man, why ain't you got any hair?"
- They'll be too busy drinking. - I've been to places like this. They always ask.
- Come on. - They always ask.
Two beers.
Thanks. Save the glasses.
- You moved into Demazian's place? - Uh-huh.
Bring your foul-weather gear?
Geez, you're gonna fuckin' freeze to death up there.
Weather-strip it. That'll fix it.
I've weather-stripped around 30 houses. Works every time.
You mean you stripped in about 30 houses.
Anyway, I'd do yours.
- Cappy. - Hilary.
- Thank you. - Victor.
How do you do?
Hilary, beer's on the house.
- You're kidding! - So, Vic, how come you shaved your head?
Yeah.
He's a Hare Krishna.
- No, you know, at the airport, the guys in the yellow... - Saffron.
- Robes, passing out flowers. - Daisies.
- Take off. - With his little cymbals, singing.
- Sing. - What?
- Sing, hon. - Yeah, give us a few notes.
No, I can't. I can't.
- I left the order. - Come on, come on.
- I gave back my robe and cymbals. - Why?
Because the order is celibate. We're like priests.
- No kidding. - Yes. Stricter, really.
And, uh, I shouldn't be telling you this, but...
- That's all right. We're good for it. - Very private.
Well, the truth is, Hilary came along.
I was at the airport, at United, which, as you know, is the best location.
And, uh, I was stopping people...
giving them a flower and saying, "God is love. Have a nice day."
Then I stopped Hilary.
She turned to me, and I knew.
I stopped shaving my head the next day, and we got in the car and came here.
Probably her favorite vacation spot. Right, hon?
Nah!
- No, no, no, no. - Nice try, kid.
That'll be 2.50 for the beer.
That's good. That's real good.
Are you okay?
Do you need me?
Sorry.
Yes, I need, uh...
I can't sleep.
I, uh...
I need to, uh, lie down...
Next to you.
I mean, I need to...
I want to sleep... in your bed.
Not... Believe me, I'm no threat. Not after the chemotherapy. I just can't...
This is not part of the deal. Tell me to leave.
No, it's okay.
Okay.
What does your tattoo mean?
Strength of heart.
- Good morning. - Morning.
- If I drink this, can I have a cigarette? - No.
No, I didn't think so. Wait a minute. Show you something.
Feel it. Feel it.
- It's coming in. - Yeah.
- No fever. Is there? - No.
Uh, wait a second.
- I have an idea. - That's okay.
- I'd like to tell you about it, but... - But what?
- But don't get mad. - Why?
Well, it has something to do with...
something you're sensitive about.
My cooking? My clothing? My hair?
Your education.
You know, I have spent my entire life studying.
Years of lying in a bed reading. Not what you were doing.
- Sleeping with construction workers. - No. Living.
I am trying to learn a bit about that from you, and I want to give you something back.
To, uh, teach you. Not school, but, uh...
I see in you...
I don't care about your little jokes or anything.
I see interest...
about things.
Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me to go to hell.
- Go to hell. - Tell me you're not interested.
What would you teach me?
Uh, well, you like Klimt, right? We start with a book on modern art.
You take a look at it, you read it.
Then, uh, we talk. That's all.
Damn it. I know I do that. You can hit me if I start.
I mean it. Strike me. Humble me.
I will.
My hair looks good. Don't touch my hair.
Read 'em and weep.
- Check. - Check.
- I'll bet. - Oh, man, you got nothin'.
- Go fish. - Hon, hon, you have zippo.
- Two dollars. - Oh, come on!
You're bluffing.
Put up or shut up.
- Two bucks. Cards for the players. - I'm in.
I think they should just change the rules.
For instance, you get like partial credit for a four... a four-card flush.
Especially if you have an ace. I had an ace. It was the best ace.
The biggest ace. The ace of spades. It was fan...
A big, bold card, and it deserves to beat a pair of deuces.
You want to dance?
You really are well, aren't you, Victor?
Yes, thanks to you.
What?
I don't know. Um... it feels like the deal's over.
What do you mean?
Well, like, the chemo's done and you're better...
and, uh... I'm still taking money.
- That's okay. - It doesn't feel right.
Maybe we should just go back.
Back? Why would you want to go back?
Well, I-I feel like there's no job here for me anymore.
Is there?
I guess not.
Okay.
Good night.
Mmm. Hi.
I have a confession to make.
- You awake? - No.
Good. Then it'll be easier.
I lied.
There were never any other women in my house.
That's okay. I lied too.
I was never vice president of the Future Nurses of America.
What about the picture of you and that girl?
- What picture? - The one in your apartment.
Jean. Jean.
College.
She was...
I was in remission and...
we were in love, I guess.
I don't know.
I got sick, she left.
Now you're leaving because I'm well.
No. I just told you I don't want to take your money anymore.
Okay, no more money.
I have to give you something then.
Mmm. No more art history lessons, please.
Well...
then I have only one thing to give you.
My heart.
You can have my heart.
I couldn't say that before.
You can't say that to someone when you're sick.
Yes, you can.
I love you, Hilary...
and I don't want you to leave.
You don't have to say anything. It's all right.
I do have to say something.
I want to...
I want to say, um...
You're a pain in the ass.
But I know the sweetness in you, and I know that you've changed me.
And I want to say...
thank you.
I won't leave you.
Oh! It's cold!
Never dare a Geddes.
Good morning, Mrs. Merkel.
Hello? Anybody home?
Hello?
- Hey. Time to strip the windows. - Hi.
Sorry I've been so long.
I've been working up at this winery for this old lady, making barrels.
She's crazy. She's got three husbands buried out there.
And she reads tea leaves. I'm not kiddin'.
She's crazy. You gotta meet her.
Here's where your problem is. Comes right off the water and right in.
Feel.
- Feel it? - Mm-hmm.
- Hello, Gordon. - Vic! Hey!
- Hi. How are you doing? - All right.
Uh... what are you doing?
I got a surprise.
- Well, it is freezing in here. - Mm-hmm.
Call me insane, but I'd venture a guess...
that Gordon would like to warm you up in any way possible.
Cappy told me you didn't have a TV set.
Yes. Uh, no.
I guess we never... ever...
Well, it's only black and white.
I don't use it, so...
- Oh, I, uh... - Here.
I'll put it on the table.
Oh, cripes.
"Cripes"?
Be careful. God.
- Oh, no. It works.
Thanks, Gordon.
I don't think... We're not really very big, uh, television watchers here.
But thanks. We're not, uh...
- What is nectar? - Absolutely right.
- Oh, wait. - TheJetsons!
- Are you a big fan of TheJetsons now? - Go back one.
- Belle of Amherst. - Emily Dickinson.
- Duncan. - Who is Emily Dickinson?
- Correct. - "TR" for 400, please.
Answer there:
- Troika. - What is a troika?
- Yes. - What is a troika?
- It's a light Russian sleigh pulled by three horses.
Uh, Glass Menagerie.
- Duncan. - What is Glass Menagerie?
- College snot. College snot answer.
The most beautiful play ever written.
- Oh, the Mertzes! - Who are the Mertzes?
- Correct. Who are the Mertzes?
We're just incredible. We're an intellectually wonderful couple.
- Oh, wait! Wiggle her nose. - What is wiggle her nose?
- "Television"for 300. - Cripes.
- What are they talking about? - David Cassidy!
- Is that the actor? No, they want the character. - Oh, Partridge. Keith Partridge.
Too late. Sorry.
- Strict standards here on television. - It's under the wire.
- What are springs? - Oh, shit!
You have to be quiet while we're trying to watch.
"To the moon, Alice!"
What is "To the moon, Alice"? - Zoom!
- Were you people weaned on television? - "American History"for 500.
The last clue in that column:
- Buchanan. - Who was Abraham Lincoln?
- Ha! You got it wrong! - Shh! Buchanan!
- James Buchanan. - Oh, yes!
Thank you very much. Hello, Jeopardy people!
Send my money through the Pony Express.
Bring me a check. Put it in my furry little hand.
Watch this and don't be frightened.
- Oh. - Ha!
I expect you to be duly impressed.
- Hey! - That's great you made it.
- How are you? - Good.
- Casks. - Yeah.
- Oak. - Oak, right.
He's an expert.
Is that the cask room?
Want a tour? Come on.
There's this crazy old lady who owns this place.
She'll do anything I ask because she loves me.
Yes. Like a mother loves her idiot child.
This is Estelle Whittier.
- Hilary. - Hi.
- Hello. - Victor.
- How do you do? - Victor.
Uh, well, we thought we'd take you to lunch.
- Victor's driving. - Pass.
Well, have lunch with me.
How are you doing over here? Want some more wine?
All right.
- Thank you, Annabel. - You're welcome.
What?
- It's a maze. - Yes!
- Very good. - Tell him what's in it.
- What? - My three husbands.
- Dead. - Buried, he meant to say.
By me. Each one in their turn.
Good men.
No one knows where.
Sooner or later, everyone tries to find them and get back out.
- Not many succeed. - It can't be that hard.
Take my word for it. Step inside, and you're lost.
Brewer's yeast. "Delightful nutty flavor."
- I'm sure. - It's good for iron.
- Iron! - Oh, Tiger's Milk. Ninety-five percent protein.
"Four heaping teaspoons in a glass of milk."
Just enough to choke an ostrich.
Help me find, um, Royal Jelly. I need Royal Jelly.
Do you know what RoyalJelly does?
Is this a quiz?
- What? - You look sweaty.
- It's hot in here. - Let me.
Tsk. Warm.
My lips are warm too.
Just a little night sweats, Vic. It's just a little night sweats.
What, honey?
It's okay, baby. Go back to sleep.
More tea, Mrs. Whittier?
Uh, no, thank you, Annabel. It's time to read the leaves.
- Little baby Gordon doesn't have to have his read.
- Thank you. - I've already read his.
Ladies first. Thank you, dear.
Dum, dum, dum, dum.
- Hmm. - What?
A scattering. A road. A rabbit.
- A bunny! - A "cwazy wabbit."
Is that good or bad?
It means luck.
Luck at the end of a journey.
Out of confusion.
- Really? - And now Victor.
Uh...
Uh, I can read my own leaves.
Yes. Another one of my many hidden talents...
along with bocci and advanced masonry.
Hmm. I'd rather forget.
How about that?
My future, it's something... It's short, difficult.
Lots ofblind curves.
Oh, my God! Why, it's a maze!
Not yet. Wait till I get up there.
All right, all right. Okay, wait a minute.
- Wait. - All right. All right. Okay?
- All right? - All right. Wait, wait. Go, go!
My first husband built the damn thing.
He used to run through it naked.
- Gordon, I think we should go get him. - Oh, no. He's doin' fine.
One minute, Victor!
Yes, yes, Gordon.
The clock is ticking!
Okay, let's find the center here. We'll go...
Damn it.
- Three minutes, Victor! - Yeah.
Yes!
Are you lost? Want some help?
I don't like this. I'm gonna go get him.
- No! No, no, no. - Let her go.
Victor? Victor?
Victor!
Lost my head there for a...
Jesus.
Okay, find the center here, and we'll get out.
Goddamn it!
Eureka.
Victor?
Oh, God. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Victor. Victor!
Please. Please. No.
Victor!
Victor! Victor!
Why are you screaming? Come along. Time's a-wasting.
- You scared me. Why didn't you answer me? - Shh. Come along.
- Why didn't you answer me? - Oh! Ha-ha!
- There's a grave site back there. - 12:24.
12:24! Victor victorious!
- Oh, Victor. - Jesus. Yes. You scared me.
- Sorry. Will you get an extra blanket for the bed because... - What? Why?
- It was really cold, and I really don't want you to... - Oh, okay... Mom.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Too bad the maze wasn't any longer.
We could still be inside.
There's always Versailles.
You know, I told Estelle you have a terminal disease.
- What? - Asshole-itis.
Asshole-itis. Very cute. Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
- What's the matter? - Nothing.
- Victor. Hey. - What? What?
- Can you... - What?
- You know. - Do it? No. I can't do it right now.
- Because you're sick? - No. Because...
Because you're sick.
Because I can't always do it when you want, all right?
Perhaps I'm just not as prolific as your construction worker friends.
- Fuck you. - Oh, Jesus.
Think we can get through this without a "fuck you," Hilary?
Hilary.
Hils.
I'm sorry.
Are you sick?
No.
Would you tell me if you were?
Yes.
It's all right.
- Hi. - Hi.
- How are you? - Fine.
Oh, guess what? Estelle gave me this great white dress ofhers for the Christmas party.
It's beautiful. Want to see what I got my mom for Christmas? It's not a doll.
Did you call your father to wish him a merry Christmas?
Give it a rest, hon.
He doesn't know where you are, does he?
I'll call him in the morning, okay?
I ran into Gordon in town today.
- Great. - I invited him to dinner tonight.
He didn't have anybody to spend Christmas Eve with.
I'll get it, hon!
- Honey, it's Gordon! - Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
- Good to see you. - Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas. - I'm knocked out you asked me.
Well, we're knocked out you came.
- Nothing. - Nope, nothing.
Excuse me, Gordon. I do the garbage around here.
- Did you bring us some figgy pudding? - No. Presents.
- Merry Christmas. - Thank you.
Open it.
- Bubble bath. - Yeah. That's not all.
Ooh.
Bubble bath.
- Merry Christmas. - Whiskey!
- It's 52 months old. - It won't get a day older.
Let's have a toast.
Okay, this is to... how great this is.
Really.
Okay.
Well, this is not like my mother's.
- There's not enough lumps in the potatoes.
My mother was the worst cook ever born.
No. No, my mother.
What did she make you for lunch in school?
Wait. Did she give you a bag or a pail?
A pail? Are you kidding me?
I had a pail. It had the Six Million Dollar Man on it.
- And every time you opened it, it squeaked...
and everybody would look.
Did she give you, uh, peanut butter and banana sandwiches?
No. Fluffernutters.
Fluffernutters?
Van Gogh.
Huh?
Van Gogh is the answer. What is the question?
Oh, okay.
- Too late. - No. Again. Go again.
Youngest president.
- No, you have to ask the question with an answer. - Kennedy.
- T.R. - Who?
- Colors of the French flag. - Red, white and blue.
- Blue, white and red. - Oh, come on.
- Sculpted the Piet?. - Do sports.
Michelangelo.
Executed by Elizabeth I.
Do sports, for Christ's sake.
Mary, Queen of Scots. The "S"in U.S. Grant.
All right, wait a minute.
Simpson. Grant. Grant Wood. Grant. Grant Wood.
Come on, honey. You should know this one. Grant Wood.
American Gothic, for Christ's sake, honey.
Whoa, contestant number one, hold up, hold up.
Aren't you gonna play, sweetheart? Oh!
Victor, we'll play if you do sports or sitcoms.
- Okay, we'll do sitcoms. Sitcoms? Great, okay. - Yeah, okay.
Uh, he wrote Lysistrata. Aristophanes.
Sitcoms, Victor. Come on. Like Mr. Ed.
Shakespeare. That's a sitcom. She Stoops to Conquer. Oliver Goldsmith.
- This is no English class! - They're all situationally comic.
Hils, what is he doing? What are you doing, Victor? For Christ's sakes.
Jesus, come on! Nine. All right. Nine.
Nine!
Hello! Hello in there!
Gordon, don't.
Number of players on a baseball team, Gordo.
Here, let me help him.
All right. Okay.
Just take it easy, Victor. You'll be all right.
Come on. You'll sleep it off.
Put your head down. You'll be okay.
Sorry I brought the bottle. I didn't know that, uh...
- Neither did I. - If I can do anything...
Good night.
Um, remember, if you need me...
Thanks.
Ugh!
You lied to me.
I'm sorry.
I've been so crazy, I don't know what's going on.
I didn't want... I don't... don't want it to end.
That's all.
- But you're sick. We have to go back. - No, listen.
Can't we just pretend that, um...
- Pretend? - Yes.
Yeah, that it, um, um... that I'm all right.
But you're not all right. You're sick.
- No, no. No. - And you're going back to the hospital.
- Listen to me. Do you love me? - What?
Just tell me. I know it's difficult. I'm sorry. Just tell me.
- Tell me. - I don't like this.
All right, all right, all right.
I'm not going back. I am never going back.
I did lie to you. I wasn't through with the chemotherapy.
- What! - Shh. Shh. My beautiful, sweet girl.
I'm sorry. I had to. It was killing me.
You saw it. That's why I chose you.
Not just to come up here with me...
but to stay with me no matter what happens.
- No matter what happens. - No!
Shh, shh, shh!
Just to stay for good... or whatever.
Just no more hospitals. No more treatments.
No more.
It is enough, Hilary.
Ten years is enough.
That's no life. I need a life.
I have a life with you.
- If you love me, you'll help me. - Do what?
Let it happen. Just let it happen.
- Let you die? - No.
When you decide?
You don't ask me or anything. You just decided?
And then you want me to say... You want me...
You want me to tell you I love you?
Then you can say, "Well, great. Now I'm gonna die and I'm gonna leave you."
Hilary.
And you let me believe that we had...
that I was part of something real for the first time in my life.
And the whole goddamn thing was a lie!
No, Hilary, I believed it too.
I thought that this time I wouldn't get sick again.
- I thought you could... - What? That I could what?
Do you have any idea what it's like for me here?
You know, every day...
every fucking day I wake up to see if you're still alive.
I watch to see if you eat, to see if you shit.
And you knew that you were getting sick again the whole time...
and you didn't tell me.
How was I supposed to know? Because I'm not a nurse.
I'm not a fucking nurse!
You think I don't feel something because I'm stupid?
Fuck you, because I feel something!
I feel everything, and I can't watch you die!
- Hello. - M-Mr. Geddes, this is Hilary O'Neil.
- I'm your son's... - I know exactly who you are, Miss O'Neil.
I must tell you that if my son is in any danger...
Uh... he is. That's why I'm calling.
He's very sick, and I think you need to come get him now.
Yes. All right. Where? Where is he?
He's, um...
Miss O'Neil...
please.
3 Main Street, Mendocino.
Okay. Okay, okay.
You did the right thing.
Oh, Victor. Shit!
Okay, okay.
Victor, Victor.
I had the police looking for you. I hired two detectives to look for you.
I just don't understand why... I don't know why you would sneak away like that.
Do you hate me that much?
No. No.
You're my father.
I love you.
But I am not a boy anymore...
and I just wanted to be alone with Hilary, that's all.
All right.
Yes.
But when you're through with the treatment.
I mean, Victor, God, how could you walk away in the middle of it?
I wanted... her to see me with hair.
So why didn't you tell me that?
- You think I wouldn't understand? - Would you have let me go?
No.
Victor, believe me, believe me, believe...
I would love to hide away here, too, with a beautiful girl.
- It's the enchanted cottage. - It was.
But I am taking you back to the hospital now.
Okay. Okay, but tomorrow.
- No. - I'll go back with you tomorrow.
- Victor, listen to me. - There's a party tonight.
Well, you...
I have to see her one last time.
I have to.
Please.
All right.
Somebody dropped something over there.
Sylvia, bring that stuff and put it right over there.
I'm sorry I can't come to your party tonight, Estelle.
Victor is very sick, and I had to call his father to come get him.
I know. Victor called.
He and his father are coming tonight.
You know... people think it's funny that I buried three husbands.
It's a joke around here.
I don't know why.
It isn't funny at all...
watching someone you love get sick, is it?
I don't give advice, love.
But if I were you...
I'd be at the party tonight.
Merry Christmas.
Hello. I'm Victor's father.
Hi. Gordon. Nice to meet you.
Thank you, Miss O'Neil. You saved his life.
- Is he here? - Yes.
Well, he was standing right over there a second ago.
You want to dance? Let's dance.
- No, I don't think I... - Come on, let's dance.
What's the matter?
Um... I'll be back.
Hilary...
Victor.
I'm sorry. I had to call your father.
I'm going back with him.
- To the hospital? - Yes.
Good.
They'll take care of you there.
Tell Gordon he better damn well take care of you.
No, it's not like that.
I'll be going back to Oakland soon, and...
and I'll visit you, if that's okay.
I think we should just...
Good-bye.
Well, I remember them. Of course.
They've moved into the area, and they would love to see you.
- Why don't you stop in and see them? - Next time I'll do that.
- Mr. Geddes. Hi. - Hello.
I thought Victor was going back with you.
He is. Tomorrow.
He, uh, wanted to spend the night alone.
Now, don't worry. He's safe now.
He said he'd call me in the morning.
- Thanks. - Merry Christmas, Miss O'Neil.
Excuse me.
- You running away? - Jesus.
I thought that was my trick.
No more tricks, Hilary...
and no more hospitals.
I don't want to hurt you anymore.
I never wanted to hurt you.
You know, you are the first person...
in 10 years that made me forget that I was sick.
I just wanted to stay here with you.
- To make love with you. - Then where are you going?
You gonna hide somewhere till you die?
I can't let you do that, Victor. I can't let you give up.
I gave up when you left me.
No, you didn't. You gave up before I left.
Hilary... I don't want to be sick anymore.
I know. That's why I want you to come back with me.
- I can't. - Why?
- I'll drive you to the hospital. I'll carry you. - I cannot do it.
- Why? - I can't do it.
- Tell me why. - Because.
Because I am afraid.
Afraid of what?
Of hoping!
It hurts to be around you, Hilary...
because...
you make me want to live... so much.
Then live, Victor.
You don't know what's gonna happen.
You don't know when you're gonna die. Nobody does.
But we have right now. So fight, Victor. Live with me.
- I can't. - Live with me.
I can't do that.
Look at you.
You are so... young...
and so beautiful and smart.
You can do anything, Hilary. Anything you want to do.
Why do you want to do this?
Because I love you.
And if you come back with me to the hospital and fight for us...
if you fight for us, I will never leave you, Victor.
But you have to fight. And if you get well...
when you get well... I- I'll be there with you.
And if you, if you die, I'll hold your hand.
And the last thing you'd ever see would be me...
because I love you.
I do.
Oh, God.
I love you.