The days
Of wine and roses
Laugh and run away
Like a child at play
Through the meadowland
Toward a closing door
A door marked "nevermore"
That wasn't there before
The lonely night discloses
Just a passing breeze
Filled with memories
Of the golden smile
That introduced me to
The days of wine and roses
And you
Wait a minute. I got another idea.
Here. This one.
She's one of these big dames, but in proportion.
Has she got class?
Oh, in every way.
I said that, I would do it. I'll try it.
Do it.
Louie, hit me again.
Uh, hello. Is this Betty? Um, Betty.. Is this Betty?
Oh, well, I'll tell you.
Uh, my name is-is Joe Clay. My name is Joe Clay.
I'm a friend of Abe Quine's
and we're here in the executive suite.
Yeah, Abe Quine. It's kind of noisy here
but I tell ya he told me that you are a lovely girl, Betty
and you, uh..
and, uh, he suggested that, well, you know
you, uh, like to have a good time.
And, anyway, my agency is throwing a party
or rather we're inviting the people for our party
on prince Harun Badul's yacht, and Abe suggested that
you might be a very welcome addition.
What, honey?
No, not Abe Badul.
It's Prince Harun Badul.
It's his party on his yacht.
Yes, he's a real prince, dear.
Yeah. Uh-huh. I thought you would.
Fine. Well, it's berth 23
St. Francis yacht club, 6:30. Right?
Okay and we'll have a launch there.
All right, bye-bye now.
Magic time.
Here comes number seven. Let's cast off.
You're late.
You're dressed wrong.
You're supposed to be a cocktail dress.
You know, something peekaboo.
You know, sparkle a little. You call that peekaboo?
Let's go.
Hey, you, wait a minute.
Hey, you! Wait..
Come on, girls. Come on. Come on.
Hey, you.
Listen, who..
Oh, you must be the new man from the agency.
Yes, sir. Joe Clay. You're Mr..
Mr. Trayner.
I see you've already met my secretary.
Oh, well, not officially. He was much too busy.
Say, these are fine.
Uh, thank you.
Just fine and dandy.
Well... hello there.
Can I buy you a drink?
Oh, no, thank you. I don't drink.
Look, uh, I'm sorry about mistaking you
for one of the other uh, girls.
So you're the new public relations man.
- Yeah. - What happened to Eddie?
Eddie quit.
We liked him. Why'd he quit?
Well, a little matter of... personal integrity.
Eddie didn't feel that getting dates
for potentates was part of public relations.
But isn't it?
Well, there's a name for it, but it's not public relations.
Well, whatever it is, you seem to do it very well.
Oh, boy, wait a minute!
Now, you counted twice over here.
Wait a minute! No, there's only four girls!
We had seven! Wait a minute!
Hey, don't move out! We got two girls missing!
Wait a minute! There's two...
Two of my girls are missing up there!
Two of the young ladies aren't quite ready to leave.
Aren't quite ready.
I guess I can be congratulated on a job well done.
Well done. Well done.
Everybody here?
Hi.
Mr. Trayner isn't here.
That's a bit of luck. You're the one I came to see.
Look, I felt we should be friends.
So... hello there.
Excuse me. I have to meet Mr. Trayner at a board meeting.
Look, we sort of got started on the wrong foot.
It was sort of my fau...
Anyway, I brought a peace offering.
- Why? - Why?
Well, because it..
Now, look, we're going to be working together sort of, huh?
I mean, from...
I'll be up to see the boss from time to time.
Mr. Clay, that is your name, isn't it?
Mr. Trayner is the one you have to please
and he seems very happy with what you've done so far.
Well, supposing I wanted to please you.
There's no reason for you to please me.
Peanut brittle.
Look, you're forcing me to be rude. I hate peanut brittle.
Excuse me.
Goodnight, Gladys.
Goodnight, Miss Arnesen.
Do you like peanut brittle?
Down?
Getting back to what people do for a living,
can I ask you a question
that might embarrass you just a little, hmm?
What spec... what special qualifications do you feel
that you have for a job that allows you
to sit around all day and chat with the boss?
I've heard about your job.
Maybe answer a few personal letters for him
and accompany him to parties, hmm?
Spend half your working day reading a book
while two typists who get less money than you
do all the work, hmm?
That reminds me, I forgot my book.
She always carries that book.
I'll tell you what special qualifications you have.
You're pretty. That's what special qualifications you have.
That old lech loves to have you around
to look at and lean on when he gets drunk
like he did last night, and who knows what else?
That's what special qualifications you have.
Oh, uh..
Uh, listen..
I am sorry, and I shouldn't have said that.
I, uh, I came up here to try and be friends.
I was going to ask you to have dinner with me.
Peanut brittle? I think you must be
the silliest man I've ever met. Peanut brittle?
Well, I guess you're right. Let's forget it, huh?
Goodnight.
Mr. Clay?
I-I thought you were going to ask me to dinner.
Well, I was. I...
Well, why don't you?
Uh, I mean, my board meeting won't be over till 7:30.
So I-I wouldn't have time to change or anything.
It would have to be some place kind of casual.
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
I know just the spot. Place Pigalle.
I'll meet you there at 7:30. You'll love it.
Okay.
7:30.
At a board meeting, can you imagine?
With all those big old jowly men staring at me, Mr. Trayner says
"No, I couldn't get along without her.
"She's always right there when I need her.
"Especially when I've had a couple too many.
Takes care of me like a little mother."
Then he gives me one of those special proprietary hugs of his
and I suddenly realized I owe you an apology.
Oh, I'm just as bad as you are.
I mean, I-I guess everybody swallows his pride
once in a while on account of his job.
I had no business saying that to you in the first place.
Um... hit me again. Not you.
Anything for the lady?
No, nothing.
What do you got against booze, anyway?
Oh, I just don't much see the point in it.
Point? Well, it makes you feel good.
I already feel good.
Anyway, I don't like the taste.
What do you like?
- Chocolate. - Chocolate?
Chocolate. I'm practically nutty about it.
Oh, wait a minute. Hold everything.
Uh...
What did you do?
You'll see.
I think we should order, don't you?
In a few minutes.
Kirsten Arnesen.
No wonder you're so tough to get along with.
You're not even American.
Did you ever drive down the Peninsula toward San Mateo?
Arnesen nursery, that's us. That was us.
I-I just couldn't take it.
Oh, my father's a wonderful man, a good man.
but I kept thinking to myself, "you're pretty."
"You're pretty, and here you are."
oh, girls know when they're pretty.
And there I was, blushing unseen
wasting my sweetness on the desert air.
Gray's "Elegy."
Did you get that out of this book?
Oh, no, not this one.
That's volume je-la.
Gray's out of volume go-ja.
"World library of great literature,
Volume five, je to la. Je-la."
My father gave me those for my high school graduation.
And he said if I read all the way from a-bu to ya-zu
it would be the equivalent of a college education.
Je-la, that puts you about the middle of your sophomore year.
Ah.
Oh, no, thank you.
No, no, that's all right. That's fine.
They're special for you. It's chocolate. Go on, try it.
Oh, it's good.
It is.
Ooh, very.
Yeah, see what I mean?
Brandy Alexander, they call that.
Say now.
All right, would you wait a minute?
Joe, it's more beautiful than ever tonight.
You know something?
You were absolutely right about that brandy thing.
Alexander.
About it making me feel good,
What are you, chicken?
and I feel wonderful.
You don't feel like asking me up for a cup of coffee?
Some other time, Joe. Do you mind?
Anyway, I'm not quite ready to go up yet.
You want to walk down to the bay?
Well, why not, Huh?
Let, um... you do very good work.
Well, there goes another boatload
out to the prince's yacht.
Another load of anxious...
Ew. I don't see how you can drink that stuff like that
right out of the bottle, it must taste awful.
Well, anything worth having is worth
suffering for, isn't it?
I guess so.
Oh, I like to watch the water.
If you look close, it's filthy
but I like to look further out where it's clean.
You know what I think?
Hmm?
I think I watch the water because..
...I expect a sea monster to come up out of there someday
and carry me down to the ocean caves.
Mm-hmm. Mom and dad are a club act.
You know, I mean songs and dances and snappy patter.
Old-time Vaudeville.
And they're in some loud joint in Vegas right this minute.
Are they good?
You know, they were on "Ed Sullivan" a couple years ago.
But you didn't like that kind of life, huh?
No. I wanted something steady, something with a little class
like the Trayner drilling account class.
Joe, don't hate yourself.
It's something you've got to do. It's part of your job.
No, I want to be a public relations man, not a pimp!
My-My job is supposed to be to advise people
how to relate to the public, you know?
How-How to... make the good that my client does known
and-and how to help him find ways to do good
and-and benefit others as well as himself.
I could be a garbage man, you know?
A eunuch in a harem.
I'm going to tell the agency, I tell you.
So I burden you with it. Well, that's great.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I don't mind.
Short story...
Man meets girl, hmm?
Beautiful...
Sweet...
Nice.
Much too nice for him, I'll tell you, no, this..
Only kind of girl you really should bother about, hmm?
Finally, after... numerous strategical blunders.
He manages to get a date
and he walks her down to the bay under the stars
and he gets himself loaded
and he cries on her shoulder like a baby.
Some lover, huh?
Joe, I'm enjoying being here with you.
After all, you've helped me avoid my apartment
for the longest possible time
and that's an accomplishment itself, you know.
The roach kingdom, the whole building, the whole block.
Do you know that if you don't leave food out for those roaches
you can't get in the building?
They just pick you up, carry you into the street
and change the lock on the door.
Roach kingdom.
You know, sometimes I come down here at night alone
and look at the water, just to keep from going home.
Yeah.
Well, you don't-you can't come down here alone at night.
This place is crawling with all kinds of oddballs.
Oh, they walk by me real slow sometimes and stare
but they don't do anything.
I don't know why.
Oh, these-you're..
You know something?
I-I dreamt one time they murdered me...
Over there behind those pilings
and my father came all the way in
from the Peninsula in his pickup truck
to take my body home.
And all the way home, he talked-
talked a blue streak all the way home.
But I was dead and I couldn't hear him, couldn't answer him.
And the strange thing is my father doesn't talk.
Oh, he used to talk to my mother.
When I was a little girl, he'd-he'd talk to her
in a low, low voice after I'd gone to bed at night.
But in the daytime, they hardly talked at all.
They had a very..
...private love affair.
Their favorite toast to each other was tilsammen I himmelen.
Huh?
In Norwegian, that means "together in heaven."
To-somonon himlen?
Tilsammen I himmelen.
To-somony himlen.
Get the lilt. Tilsammen I himmelen.
Together in heaven.
They meant it, too.
After mama died, he was more silent than ever...
Almost as though he'd gone with her.
Oh, well, well..
...gather ye rosebuds while ye may.
Oh.
Ooh... a little coup- coup de grace.
Would you believe it's 2 o'clock?
Ooh... time does not exist in the ocean.
Well, it will in the office tomorrow.
I commend thee to the deep.
They are not long, the days of wine and roses.
Out of a misty dream, our path emerges for a while
then closes within a dream.
I-I guess... we should be getting back, huh?
- He come in? - Yes, sir.
Brad, come in.
Trayner's been trying to get you all morning.
Well, this is one of those mornings I couldn't make it.
Oh, those things happen.
He's praising you to the skies, Joe.
Oh, thanks.
That prince what's-his-name was so pleased with the whole thing
that Trayner wants to throw another party tomorrow night.
Wai-wha- Tomorrow night?
Better call him about it and congrats on a very happy client.
Look, Brad, could I talk to you for a minute?
Shoot.
Uh, well, I don't know how to start it.
I know the Trayner thing has to be done, you know
arrangements like this have to be made from time to time but..
But you'd rather not.
Well, I realize it's part of my job.
It makes you feel dirty.
Well, I don't blame you for a minute, Joe.
But I don't know what I can do about it.
Unless we put another man on there.
Could do that.
Some of the boys don't mind that sort of thing.
Hey, look, I don't mean I can't do it. I can do it.
That isn't what I meant. It isn't that. I just-it-I...
You'd rather not. Well, let's see now.
Look, not that I won't do it.
It's just the first account of any size
that you guys have given me.
I think I've got a flash.
Nell, get me Roger Acton, will you?
That's right.
If Roger goes along with this, we've got your problem solved
to everyone's advantage.
I don't want this to look like I'm, uh, complaining.
I just started on the account.
Now, Roger may take a dim view of this.
Oh, no, no. He'll admire your integrity, if anything.
Believe me.
Yes?
Thanks, Nell.
Rog, got a little prob here with Joe.
We put him on that Trayner drilling account.
Yeah.
Says he heard Trayner was delighted with you.
Well, here's the prob, Rog.
Oh, that's it exactly.
Says same deal as Eddie, huh?
Oh, he knows someone's got to, Rog
but let me pull something out of a hat and we'll see
if it hops for us.
Joe?
- Yeah? - Hi.
- Come on up.
What in the world are you carrying?
Oh, just a few things to go with dinner.
Here. I'll help you.
I was afraid you'd forgotten.
I'm sorry I'm late, but I was very, very busy
having a couple with my new client.
Your new.. You didn't.
You mean, you're off the Trayner drilling account?
Yeah, I am.
Oh, you're a man of principle.
Yeah. Of course, I.. Oh.
I may wish I was back getting girls for Trayner.
This new guy Ballefoy-murder.
He drinks with both hands. You can't keep up with him.
You can't communicate. Thank you.
Hey, this is it, huh? This is the roach kingdom?
You're feeling pretty good tonight, aren't you?
Oh, you'll catch up in no time. Brandy Alexanders.
I got all the makings of the brandy and the crème de cacao.
We got all the natural accoutrements
to a home-cooked meal.
You know what's in there?
No.
A chocolate cake with chocolate icing.
And, oh, here's champagne to go with the meal
and for me, plain, unassuming, solid-citizen-type
man of... principle that I am.. the holy comforts of soda and..
Where is it? Ah, scotch.
Now, oh.
This is the roach kingdom, huh?
This is the place where the roaches reign supreme?
Yes.
Uh-huh. Well, we'll just see about that.
This is war.
You really are too much.
I just don't believe in letting
these subversive little elements take over.
Man of principle, I salute you.
Salute me with some of that stuff and go easy on the soda.
Come on, cockroaches. You come out, wherever you are.
You're going to go to cockroach heaven
You little dirty la da dee
You-You know something funny?
What?
I didn't really quit the Trayner account.
- But I... - Oh, I'm off it, all right.
I just hinted that it was a little distasteful
and they took me right off, but..
Well?
What bothers me is that I didn't..
...demand to be taken off or even ask to be taken off.
I just hinted, you know.
I mean, I practically apologized for even hinting.
What do you think of that?
Well, well, Joe, at least you hinted.
Most people in your position wouldn't even hint.
They'd be too insecure.
Here.
Oh, to men of principle, wherever they may be.
Oh, hi, Dottie.
What, are you spraying in there?
Spray.. Oh, yes, we are.
Well, now, you ought not to do that.
You get them all stirred up. What's the good?
Now you made a mess.
You got to think about other people, you know?
Well, I mean, look, I don't like to complain
but, I mean, this is ridiculous.
They don't bother anybody. They don't destroy anything.
You know they're there.
You leave them alone. They leave you alone.
You lock up what you don't want crawled over.
And that's that. But, all of a sudden,
you start spraying that stuff in the walls and look at the mess.
What are you trying to do up there? Run everybody out?
Hey, somebody spraying up there?
I'm nearly choking to death down here.
You just come in off the prairie or something?
People living in apartment buildings
got to learn to leave roaches alone.
Now, look, you should see what they're doing to us.
What's the matter with you people?
Who's the clown with the spray can?
What am I supposed to do?
I mean, you've got them all mad.
They're all- all crazy, you know.
Well, I-I..
I'm sorry. Well, I..
- Didn't I tell you? - Hmm?
You've undermined the whole basic metabolism
of the building.
I'm warning you, Joe. You better..
What?
You better, you..
What?
You better grow a beard and move out of town
because-because those roaches saw you
and the word will..
The word, the word will spread.
And if they ever track you down..
What?
You'll be a goner.
Oh, darling.
How do I look?
Gorgeous.
And guilty?
Kirstie.
Daddy, I've brought somebody by to meet you.
I know it's late and I'm sorry to wake you up.
It was just so important, it couldn't wait.
Come in.
Uh, Daddy, this is Joe Clay.
Sir.
Sorry we woke you up, Mr. Arnesen.
Let's go sit in the kitchen, Kirstie.
Kitchen is Daddy's favorite room.
I know this is kind of a funny time of night
to be introducing people, Daddy,
but Joe and I... I was anxious for him to meet you
and we were out driving.
Well, you know how I do things on the spur of the moment.
I hope you don't mind us waking you up.
Have a seat.
Oh, thank you.
How have you been, Kirstie?
Oh, that's Daddy's way of letting me know
I haven't called him this week.
I've been very busy, Daddy.
What kind of work you do?
Uh, public relations, sir.
Public relations?
Uh, you know, Daddy, it's- it's hard to explain.
Well, I suppose you might say my job is, uh...
to sort of help my client, uh... create a public image.
Well, for an example, uh, let's say my client, corporation "X"
does some good or something of benefit to the public
or something that could conceivably be conceived
as of, uh... benefit to the pu..
Well, my job is to see that the public knows it.
And what if this "X" corporation does something bad?
Well..
Well, theoretically, they don't.
Theoretically.
Uh, well, part of my job always is... uh
to, um, help my, uh, client to think of ways to operate
in a way that the public would, you know, approve.
But if your "X" corporation makes a mistake
and the thing turns out bad?
Well, uh... I guess then I try to make it look
not quite so bad.
Well, there's more to it than that, sir.
It's terrifically complicated, Daddy.
I don't understand that kind of work.
You love my girl?
Yes, sir, very much.
Your mama and daddy live in San Francisco?
- No, sir. They... - Uh, no.
Joe's mother and father are in show business, daddy.
They have a-a wonderful act, I mean, I've never seen it
but from what Joe tells me they were on "Ed Sullivan."
You might have seen them.
This girl had a fine mama.
Her mama taught her how to be good, come home early.
I know she remembers those things.
These days girls think they have to live in town
but still she remembers those things.
Well, she's the finest girl I ever met, Mr. Arnesen.
Look, Mr. Arnesen...
Uh, Daddy, Joe and I have to go.
We both have to work tomorrow.
Oh. Sure.
Uh, we, uh, hated to wake you up.
I'm glad you came by, Kirstie.
Daddy... I hope you like him.
Don't put him on the spot.
Takes time to find that out, Kirstie.
Nice to have met you, sir.
Same here, Joe.
Daddy, maybe I could take Joe out this way
and show him the greenhouse.
I'll put on the big light.
Gee, I never knew there were so many flowers.
Goodnight, Daddy.
- Goodnight, Kirstie. - Goodnight, sir.
Goodnight, Joe.
Oh, brother, did I goof that one.
He made me so nervous, I..
Uh, Mr. Arnesen..
...Kirsten and I were married about two hours ago.
You know what I'd like to do?
I'd like to go some nice place and have a drink.
Where is my little gal, huh? Where is she?
In here.
Okay.
There she is. I got all the groceries.
Oh, thanks. You saved me a trip.
And how are you today? I got you crazy lotion.
She says, "I'm nice and dry, temporarily."
With the skin you love to bite.
You're something. You are really something.
I got to get to work.
Ballefoy is having a bash for some of the new guys.
You wouldn't want to go, would you?
I'd love to, honey, but I got to get up so early with her.
I just thought maybe you'd want to go.
Well, I would, but..
It doesn't matter. I have to be there. I'll be late. Goodbye.
- Bye-bye. Call me, huh? - Yep.
Hi.
Well, I see you got that dame
from Harper's Bazaar to show up.
Mm-hmm. I thought maybe I could get her to...
Hi, Joe. Hi, Mr. Ballefoy.
Hi, honey, I thought we could get them to use
Covington Farms as a background for a fashion layout.
You know, that country living we were talking about and..
Tell them we'll furnish anything they need. Co-operate fully.
Get in there as solid as you can, Joe.
If we get as much as a mention of Covington Farms
in the whole layout
I know, I know. It'll be an accident.
Still, I might as well confess to you.
I had an ulterior motive for making the suggestion.
Frankly...
Where was I?
Frankly.
Oh, yes, frankly.
You know how Mr. Covington loves personal publicity.
Oh, no, come on, not again.
There's one thing that Covington has got to face.
A man does not automatically become a public figure
because he happens to build an empire out of chicken fat!
Joe...
I got this guy into the Poultry Annual
with a full head close-up
and I got him into the Dairyland News.
Now, there they care, I even finagled a feature story
on this man in Western Feed And Grain
but Harper's Bazaar? Now come on!
Are you through?
It's Mrs. Covington.
That old hayraker?
- Our leader is rich, Joe. - His wife is a rich hayraker.
And she wants her home and garden and her picassos...
I suppose I should get her elected best-dressed cow
while I'm at it, huh?
- In full color. - Uh-huh.
- Joe? - Huh?
Why aren't you dancing with me?
Honey, I am dancing with you.
Hey, uh, doll, hit me again, huh?
Da doo doo doo cha cha cha
Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Magic time.
Shh.
Bye oh baby Bunting
Daddy's gone a-hunting
To get a little rabbit skin
To wrap his baby Bunting in
Shh. She's almost asleep. You'll wake her up.
What's she doing up at this time of night?
She was hungry.
Well, she's got to learn sooner or later
some of mommy's time belongs to daddy.
I think it's daddy's time of night. Wow!
Whoa, whoa!
Honey, just try to keep your voice down.
What's the matter? It's two o'clock in the morning.
And I've been working since 10.00 a.m.
I come home and I get shushed? What is that?
You've been working your elbow more than
anything else, haven't you?
I gotta drink with these people.
I told you that's part of the job.
I thought your job was to advise them. See they have confidence.
If Ballefoy wants me to drink with him,
what am I gonna do about it?
Well, if he has confidence in you...
- Confidence? - Shh! Please.
He has confidence that I'll do what I'm told regardless.
"Confidence."
He even has confidence, I think, that to keep my job
I'd ask the mayor of San Francisco
to give a ticker tape parade for his chicken-fat king.
What happened with..
Well, now, look..
Um..
I come home after a couple of drinks
and you're cold sober.
Well, maybe you're a little tired.
So, I know I seem loud and ob...
All right, I am.
You didn't used to think so.
I feel your disapproval. I feel it.
Now, look, if you want to sit up
if you wanna... wait for me
well, is there any law that says you can't have
a couple of blasts while you're waiting?
Huh, is there?
So that maybe we can have some laughs around here?
Is there, huh?
Joe, I'm not supposed to, on account of my milk.
I know, your milk. Yeah, what day is that bit?
Anyhow, it's the 20th century. They invented milk bottles.
They got, they got milk in cans. It's as good as that milk.
You're gonna ruin your shape.
Uh, see, it's just, I, for crying out loud
you think you're the only woman that ever had a baby.
There, well, I was dragged around by the scruff of my neck
on midnight trains and in freezing weather.
And I was, I was eating crackers and peanut...
Don't do that, I was eating peanut butter!
Now kids have got to learn to be people? Don't...
Look, please, just get her a bottle and some formula.
Because I wanna have a ball, just you and me.
- Shh, please. - Look, all right, don't shush me!
And if I'm too loud, then I'll just close the damn door.
No, Joe, please, it's too stuffy.
- At that age... - No!
How could I do a thing like that?
To a child?
What's the matter with me?
You're right.
It's kind of stuffy in there.
"Po-Ra", huh?
You'll make it yet.
Tilsammen I himmelen.
I'm sorry.
Mr. Clay's office.
Oh, no, I'm sorry. He...
Yes, I know it's important.
I'll give him the message as soon as he gets in.
Oh, well, I, I'm sure he'll be here any minute.
Yes, I will.
- Coffee. - Oh, Mr. Clay,
- Coffee, Nell, coffee! - Mr. Ballefoy says please call.
- Yeah, okay, okay. - It's...
- Coffee, coffee. - It's heating.
I just wanna be sure about the Ballefoy thing.
- Now, he said... - Okay, okay, okay.
You did your duty. You told me.
Just get the coffee.
It isn't hot.
Did I say hot coffee?
I just said coffee.
Look, just bring it.
You got a sec, Joe?
For you, all day, Rad.
Oh, the head.
It was Debbie's first birthday
and Kirsten and I, uh, celebrated last night.
Really hung one on?
Yeah, a capital hung.
Well, if you'd rather not talk just now...
Oh, no, no! Business as usual.
- Hey, want some coffee? - No, thanks.
Oh, well, what-what's on your mind?
I'd like to, uh, chat with you
about the Covington Farms account.
Oh, shoot.
Well, it's a long story
but the point is I think it would be best
if we took you off the account.
You took..
What?
What is, uh.. Ballefoy and I get along.
Well, the truth is they're letting Ballefoy out.
Frankly, for..
...drinking too much.
And the new man...
Well, I can adjust to a new man.
Well, actually, Joe,
we sort of had other plans for you, anyhow.
We were talking of putting you on
the Campbell Cherokee Tool account.
- I'm sure you... - Campbell Cherokee Tool..
I'd be in Houston half the time.
- Houston's a refreshing town. - I've got a wife and a kid!
- Well, Joe, we feel... - It's a demotion, isn't it?
- I wouldn't call it that. - You wouldn't?
Smaller, less sensitive account
a million miles away from home.
Now, what would you call it, Rad?
- Well, uh... - Well, never mind.
I think I understand.
I hope you do, Joe.
Don't feel bad, honey.
I wouldn't be surprised if... if Rad Leland
wanted you out of town for fear you'd get his job.
Not his decision.
Well, somebody's making the decisions.
It's politics down there.
You want the rest of this? I'll get some more, honey.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know. I've... tried to be honest with myself.
I asked myself if it was my fault.
You know it's not.
Well, that's funny. There's two bottles down there.
I thought I had three.
Funny.
You do your job, honey.
Yeah, I do. I know I do.
The main point is you do your job.
Yeah, I swore I had three bottles in there.
You do your job fine.
You know, you've gotta remember
not everybody's honest.
Things are going on down there.
Bums.
Howdy, Landry.
Charlie, shake hands with Joe Clay.
Joe is the new PR man from DDJA. Charlie Dean.
- Good to see you, Joe. - Pleasure.
Charlie's one of our vice-presidents.
Oh, I look forward to working with you.
Say, Joe, you know we're having a little
barbecue out at my place Sunday.
Why don't you come on out and join us?
I guarantee, you'll get all the barbecue you can eat.
Yeah, and all the bourbon you can drink, too.
Thank you.
How's she doing, Landry?
Oh, she's doing great.
Mama Bear..
...and Baby Bear.
Duh! Oh, goody-goody.
Toast and honey.
Mommy?
What's wrong, honey? Huh?
Oh, it's too noisy, huh?
You just lie down here.
It's all those people coming home from work.
You go to sleep. I'll close the window.
Some more honey. What else?
But, Henry, I.. They're...
- Shut up! - But, Henry...
Come on, snuggle bug, huh?
Snuggle down, huh?
Sleep. Sleep.
Are they all right, Pop?
You're sure?
Well, I..
I knew she was having
a couple now and then, but nothing like this.
Huh? Yeah.
Okay, Pop.
But... you know..
Take good care of them, Pop.
Uh, you tell, tell them I'll get there as quick as I can.
Waiter?
Could you hit me again, please?
I, uh..
I've got to get the 11..
I've got go home on the 11:30 plane.
My, uh..
Uh... my wife..
...got drunk and set the apartment on fire.
Couldn't this... be rebuilt?
Frame's burned through.
Well, if you didn't spend most of your time in Houston
it wouldn't have happened.
Well, don't worry.
I won't be going to Houston anymore.
They fired me.
Uh, Debbie, uh..
You run outside and play for a while.
I want to speak to your mother.
Come on, honey.
What's the matter, honey?
Honey, we've got to talk about something.
- Something serious. - Have a beer.
No! I'm sorry.
- What's the matter, you drunk? - Oh, I haven't had a drop.
Well, then what's the matter with you?
I walked by the Union Square bar. I was gonna go in.
And I saw myself, my reflection, in the window.
And I thought, "I wonder who that bum is."
And then I saw it was me.
- Now, look at me. I'm a bum. - No...
Look at me. Look at you! You're a bum!
Look at you and look at us.
Look at us. Come on.
Look at us. See?
- A couple of bums. - Hurts.
Now look, listen to me. You've got to listen to me.
It came to me all of a sudden. I saw the whole thing.
You know why I've been fired from five jobs in four years?
And it's not politics, like we always say.
It's not office politics or... jealousy
or any of that stuff. It's booze!
- It's booze! - Ah! A couple of drinks...
We have more than a couple of drinks! We get drunk.
Then we stay drunk most of the time.
Look at the... dump that we live in.
And the... clothes that we wear.
We send that child off to school like she's..
Look at that, I, uh, I, I'm a drunk
and I don't do my job and that's it!
I'm a drunk and I don't do my job
and I got fired and I can't get a job now
and I..
We should've done this a long time ago.
Taken a look at ourselves and realize we just turned
into a couple of bums!
- Honey, honey, I love you. - What? I love you, too.
And I don't mean that I didn't, but we've got to
face this, huh? Please?
All right. We, we just won't drink so much.
No, not so much..
Look, I've got a plan and we've got to do it, honey.
We've got to make it work.
We're gonna get sober, but we're gonna stay sober.
We don't take a drop! Nothing!
And then, I thought this out all the way home.
We're gonna go to your father and we're gonna
convince him that we mean it, and, and he'll give us
enough money to get off the ground.
And, and then I'll go around to the old place.
They'll see that I'm sober, and they'll take me back.
Are you with me? Because we've gotta do it.
If we don't do it now, it's gonna be too late.
We're gonna make it work. Are you with me?
- I'm always with you. - We've gotta do it, honey.
We've got to make it work.
Hey, Pop.
Are you sure that Vic Tanny started this way?
Who?
Bernarr Macfadden.
- One more, Joe. - Yeah, yeah, one more, Joe.
Anything you say, warden.
Hey, warden..
...gotta ask you one question.
Are you..
You sure that..
...out there, there is a highway
and down that highway..
...there is a town, a town with people
with people just like us?
- One more tree, Joe. - One more tree, Joe. I know.
Oh!
One more tree, Joe. One more tree, Joe.
Oh!
Are you in for life?
It's beginning to look like it.
- How long have you been here? - Almost a month.
Uh-huh. Oh, I feel like I've been here ten years.
- Oh, yeah. - It seems to agree with you.
Do you like boys?
- I love 'em. - Yeah?
Come with me. There's something I wanna try.
Yeah-ah!
Oh!
All my life I've wanted to do that.
- Oh, poor little city boy. - Yeah.
- Hey, you know something? - Huh?
I never really understood..
...the reason for haystacks before.
It's that crazy smell that gives us
all those problems we hear about.
- And the softness. - Yeah.
You know, I, uh..
...can't remember us ever feeling like this before.
Mm-mm. Except after a couple of drinks.
Yeah.
Was the other better?
Huh?
Can't see how it would be.
Yeah, uh-huh! Uh-huh.
Caught you drinking, huh?
No harm in one beer, Joe.
Or two or three.
A matter of how much, huh, pop?
Oh!
Saunders says he'll pay you Monday.
With Saunders it's always Monday.
- And then Friday. - Yeah.
Hey, do you remember Mrs. Michelle
where you delivered those roses about a month ago?
Oh, yeah. Two months ago, exactly.
My second day as a trustee.
She phoned in a big order this afternoon.
Said she remembered us because of the nice man
who delivered the roses.
It's all part of public relations, pop.
Uh, Kirsten upstairs?
Joe.
You want a beer?
You're starting to trust me again.
Well, thanks... anyway, pop.
Hi, ho!
Ooh, what a tasty little neck.
I'm glad you like it. Have some more.
No, not right now.
My, we have been good the last couple of months, haven't we?
- It's perfect, huh? - Yeah, we sure have.
Much too good because you are much too beautiful
to be so good and I was thinking..
...being good is better than being bad, yes?
But being too good, jeez, is worse than death, huh?
Yeah, well, there are times when I agree with you.
Yeah, well... how would you like
to spice up your exemplary life
by just slipping..
...a teeny-weeny bit?
- A teeny-weeny bit? - Teeny-weeny, yes.
Just a modicum, just a minim..
...a drop.
- Where is it? - Da-da-da, no!
It all starts with a striptease.
Oh, well, I thought you were talking
about something more... tangible.
Please, you're interrupting a performance.
Tada!
- Joe! - Shh!
- Tada! - Oh, you're a genius.
Shh! Nothing at all, my dear.
Of course, getting this tape off
is gonna be a... major operation.
- Ow! - Okay, now here we go.
Fast, all right?
Aah!
Oh!
Next time I do this,
I'm gonna shave my legs.
No, Joe, we-we-we can't.
- What do you mean? - We'll ruin everything.
- I mean, we can't do it. - Just a goldarn minute, lady.
I'm not... suggesting an orgy.
I think we've... learned better than that.
I hope and trust.
We've... been working hard, huh?
Behaving ourselves?
Just a wee, little drop in the privacy
of our own little room. It ain't going to hurt us.
Who's to know?
We just lie back in bed like civilized people.
We'll sip it through a straw.
May I expect your cooperation... huh?
Well, now, how could I not vote for someone
who dances so divinely?
Tada!
And, oh!
Hold on.
- Oh! - Huh? Twinsies.
And there is another..
...in the greenhouse.
It is in the fourth pot..
...on the fifth table.
Wait a minute.
Fourth pot, third table, fifth row.
Yeah, that's it.
Fourth pot, third table, fifth row.
Four, five, three.
Now, you remember the combination,
because if I die before I wake,
that's your legacy.
- Ahh! - Oh!
You are depraved.
Yeah, flattery will get you everywhere.
Magic time.
Oh! Shh!
Here.
- Step on it. - What?
Wha-at?
Oh, gee.
- Wait a minute. - Give me that one over there.
Here.
Whoo!
Oh!
Kirstie?
Must have had a nightmare.
You all right?
I'm fine, Daddy. Just go back to bed.
Come up now.
We're fighting.
Oh, oh!
Oops!
It's all gone.
Oh, it's all gone.
4-3-5.
I'll get the other one.
- Get the other one. - Shh, shh, shh!
You'll wake up Daddy.
- He'll hear you. - What?
What?
I'm gonna go out the window.
And down the tree as silent as a squirrel.
- Down the tree. - Careful, but hurry up.
I said it was four, three, five.
No, now, wait a second, Joe.
- What? - You said...
Shh! Got to be quiet as a squirrel.
Three, five, four.
- Nev... - Oh, yes.
It was four, three, five.
Hold that.
Whoa!
Hurry back!
Four, five, three.
Here we go!
What was it?
Fourth? Let me see.
One..
...two..
...three. Fourth row.
Third table.
Two...
...fifth pot.
One, two, three, four, five.
And come to papa.
What happened?
Ha. I got the right, wrong combina..
Five, four, three.
Five, four. Fifth row.
Third table, fourth pot.
One, two, three.
Wait a minute. What?
Well..
Wait a minute.
What did he say?
Start it all over. Wait a minute.
One..
Five, four, three.
Well.
It's the fifth pot.
Wait a minute.
Third. Wait. One, two, three.
Where is it?
What? What?
Who's stolen it? Why? Why?
Flowers..
Where is it?
Red flower!
It's a red flower!
Light.
Turn on the light.
Rain!
Who took it?
Who took it? Where?
Where? Where is it?
Who took it?
Somebody stole it!
Aah!
They stole it!
Aah!
They took it!
Took it!
They took it!
Daddy?
I'm drunk as a skunk.
Kirsten!
I'm plastered and I'm lonely.
I want you to kiss me goodnight.
Ah! Dirty Joe brought whiskey.
Come on, kiss me goodnight, Daddy.
You get back to your room.
Granddaddy?
- It's Debbie. - Go to bed, Debbie.
You get out of here.
Get out of here!
- Just leave my Daddy alone. - Debbie, Debbie!
You come along with me now.
A little kiss or something?
- Get in the tub. - What? No, I don't want to.
- Get in the tub. - Daddy.
Get in there!
What are you doing?
168 in.
Don't, don't do..
Aah! Ed, give me a hand!
How are you feeling, fella?
Rotten.
Who.. Who are you?
I'm Jim Hungerford.
Nurse says you want help.
I'm from Alcoholics Anonymous.
- Honey, please read the book. - No.
This fella, Hungerford, says the AA meetings are terrific.
They're just a bunch of alcoholics
trying to keep each other sober.
And it works. Now, please read the book.
- It make sense - No!
I don't even know why you let them give it to you.
They must... think you're a... bum or something.
I asked for it.
I must have needed help. I was in the hospital.
Well, you didn't belong there.
I was there. Nobody belongs there.
I passed out in the middle of Mission Street.
I didn't belong there maybe but..
All right! You had too much to drink.
It doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.
Oh, look, dear, what's wrong with just going to a meeting?
Now, what could we lose, huh?
You can go if you want to. I don't care.
But, I'm, I'm not gonna go.
I am not an alcoholic and I refuse to say I am.
I refuse to-to ask for help in something
that is, is just a matter of, of self-respect and willpower.
I refuse to get up in front of a bunch of people
and degrade myself.
I know I can't drink because it gets the best of me.
So, I-I..
I will just use my willpower and not drink
and, and that's the end of it.
Uh, we got time for a cigarette, huh?
You nervous?
No, I..
Button came off my jacket.
- Well, leave it open. - Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Here.
I used to be a pretty... fancy dresser.
I wouldn't have been caught dead with a button off then.
You're scared, huh?
No, this is natural complexion..
...pale green.
Nobody will notice. Come on.
Well, wait a minute. We, uh..
Just, you know.
Hey, you know, you are turning pale green.
Now, will you come on?
It's facing all the people.
- Are you sure? - What do you mean?
Well, it's facing yourself, isn't it?
Look, I don't mind talking about my life,
even the most embarrassing parts of it.
That's not what bothers me.
It's... the idea of standing up there
in front of all of those people
and saying "I am an alcoholic."
Are you?
- Yes, I... - So are we.
Now, you've heard us night after night after night say it
"I am an alcoholic." It's a big step forward.
I know, but it's funny, isn't it?
That four months ago you came to see me
in the violent ward and you told me about AA.
Now, I went to the meetings and I started listening
and I've been sober ever since.
Kirstie has been sober too
just as sober as I am.
And she has never said, "I am an alcoholic."
She even hasn't been near a meeting.
She claims she can do it on willpower alone.
Can you?
My name is Jim Hungerford.
And I'm an alcoholic.
I'm your chairman for tonight.
Now, all I have to do to qualify myself
is to say that I drank too much too often
over too long a period of time.
Welcome to the regular weekly meeting
of the Mason Street Group of Alcoholics Anonymous.
"Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women
"who share their experience
"strength and hope with each other.
"That they may solve their common problem
"and help others to recover from alcoholism.
"The only requirement for membership
"is a desire to stop drinking.
"There are no dues or fees for AA membership.
"We are self-supporting through our own contributions.
"AA is not allied with any sect, denomination
"politics, organization or institution.
"It does not wish to engage in any controversy
"neither endorses nor opposes any causes.
"Our primary purpose is to stay sober
and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety."
Now, we got a couple of speakers tonight.
I know you're gonna enjoy hearing.
To start things off, we're going to hear from a man
who came to us just four months ago.
Now, this will be his first talk at an AA meeting.
Joe.
My name..
My name is Joe... Clay.
I'm an alcoholic.
Honey?
Debbie?
Come in.
Oh, hi, Jim.
I'm sorry to act like such a...
Oh, don't be silly. You should have called sooner.
Any word?
Two days and two nights
and I... I had to call you.
I was afraid that I might...
Yeah, I know. Did you tell the police?
Yeah.
I-I just..
I can't see how this could be happening to us.
Me too. Too many drinks?
Well, a hell of lot of people drink as much as Kirstie
and I ever did and they're not alcoholics.
Yet.
A lot of 'em never are.
It's a lottery, Joe.
- And you lost. - Yeah, well, how?
No way to find out before it's too late, huh?
- Joe. - Hmm?
You remember how you told us about Kirsten's obsession
with chocolate candy when you first met?
Yeah.
Well, a very perceptive psychologist
might've told you then that she was
a potential alcoholic, but neither of you
would have believed him and besides
he might have been wrong.
Joe, how many strawberries does it
take to start an allergy and which is the one
that gives you the hives?
Alcoholism is an illness.
It's pretty hard to diagnose an illness
until you've got it.
Come on, Joe.
She'll turn up, honest.
Why did she do it? Why did she leave?
- That's... - She wanted to drink.
Oh, if she had to drink, she could drink right here.
And she ought to know it.
You're sober. It's no fun to drink around you.
Don't you under... it's worse!
Your sobriety would be an accusation to her.
She'd be miserable. She's lost her playmate.
And, Joe..
...listen, uh..
Don't be too surprised if she finds another one.
Look, she loves me
and you just don't understand.
There's no trouble between us.
There wasn't any trouble.
Joe, don't forget.
For a long time, long, long time
booze has been an integral part of your relationship.
Now, if she keeps on drinking and you don't,
well, you've got to find a new meeting ground,
a different basis for a relationship.
That takes a whale of an adjustment.
Well, I find it hard to believe this.
There was one thing about us, we always knew
that we were in love. Now, we knew that.
And there was no doubt about it. We just knew it.
Now, do you understand what I'm trying to tell you
that we, that we had something?
Well, things like that don't just evaporate.
Joe, the night you tore up your father-in-law's flowers.
- You're looking for the bottle? - Yes.
What did you do when you found it?
What? I drank it.
Oh, you didn't take it back and drink it with Kirsten?
No.
There comes a time in the life
of every alcoholic when the bottle is God.
Nobody matters, nothing matters
but the next drink. You know that!
I know I know it.
I just, I can't believe
that this is happening to me. That's all!
Two people, seven years.
Booze, no booze, drunk, sober.
Isn't love..
...love?
I don't know.
I was drunk for 12 years.
I've been sober the last 14.
All I know is the drunk world is one world
and the sober world is another world.
Such a lonely person.
Oh, God, keep her safe.
Is your little girl all right?
Yeah, she's..
...on the peninsula with her grandfather.
Hello?
Yes, this is Mr. Clay.
Yes, Kirsten Clay. That's right. Yes.
- Where? - Police?
Where is, Shore Motel?
Where is that?
I see. Who, who..
Mr. Turning, is she all right?
Is she alone?
I'll be there as fast as possible.
Thank you for calling.
She's in a motel.
Mr. Turning owns the motel.
He said that she..
...came in a cab and checked in drunk.
- She's been drunk ever since. - Do you want me to go with you?
- No, I'd better go alone, Jim. - Oh, well, here, take my car.
- Oh, thanks. - Oh, Joe, listen, listen.
At the risk of sounding preachy...
No, look, I know now, easy does it. First thing first...
No, no, it's something else.
Now, she may resent you intruding on her drinking
and she may resent your being sober.
- It separates you... - I know that.
But, Joe... on the other hand, if you're not sober
you're not worth a damn to her or anybody else, are you?
No.
- Yes, sir. - Hello, I'm Mr. Clay.
Oh, she's in the last bungalow over there, Mr. Clay.
Thank you.
One sliced turnip,
some stalks of celery,
add pepper and salt
and a dash of Worcestershire sauce.
My, my.
What nobility has to put up with
just to have dinner.
I'm glad I'm a rabbit.
Now, place rabbit into oven
and heat oven to 350 degrees.
350 degrees? Too hot for me.
I just remembered I have another commitment.
Please extend my regrets to His Majesty.
I bid you farewell, arrivederci,
sayonara, and all that sort of jazz.
Oh, no, you're not.
You're stayin'. I insist.
Okay, okay, if it's that important.
Cook! Cook! Where's my hasenpfeffer?
Comin' right up, Royal Highness.
Bon appetit, O gracious Majesty.
You bonehead. That..
- Have a drink, honey. - Not just now.
- Oh, come on. Have a drink. - No, I don't want one.
Oh, I do.
You think..
Honey, do you think you're about ready to come home?
Hmm?
Oh, it's you.
What do you want?
I want my wife.
Sober Joe..
Milkman's friend.
Now you got me. What do you want to..
...do?
I was hoping to take you home.
I like it here.
My friends are here.
You have your friends, I have mine.
Have a drink.
Oh.
Excuse me, I forgot.
Shame we're out of, uh..
...milk..
...coffee and tea, orange juice..
...non-alcoholic beverages.
Honey, if you'd just come home..
No!
You laid in a good supply.
- We could take it home. - No!
You have your friends. You don't need me.
Oh, honey..
Joe..
Kiss me, Joe.
I taste like gin.
You never did like gin
so I didn't drink it, but..
Now I'm alone, so I drank it
'cause I like gin.
Tilsammen I himmelen.
Together in heaven, like the story.
Now he doesn't even like..
...the taste of me anymore.
Honey..
Let me get you some food.
- No. - Or you're going to get sick.
- You know it. - I don't care.
I don't care. Just... go away and leave me alone.
I don't care about anything.
I'll be back.
Don't bother.
Joe.
I'm lonely, Joe.
Have a drink with me, please.
- I can't. - I'm lonely.
I'll stay with you, but I-I can't.
Don't do me any favors. Can't have a drink.
Too good to have a drink with me.
What did they do to you down at that AA place, anyway?
Aren't you a man anymore?
Can't you hear a woman calling you?
I'm a woman. Can't you hear me!
- I hear you. - What're you gonna do about it?
I heard you, but we've got our own little apartment...
No, we haven't.
I'm not going back there.
Never, never.
I want to be where people live.
I don't want any of your..
...mealy-mouthed...
holier-than-thou, do-gooder boy scouts with their..
...with their hot coffee and..
...and their cold feet.
I don't want anybody who doesn't have the guts to take a drink.
Now go away. Go away.
I want a cigarette.
Keep the pack.
You're not giving me anything.
Community property.
So's the gin. 50-50.
Here.
I'm not coming back there.
You're too good.
And there's no bore in the world
like a goody-good.
Have some of mine, honey.
Hello!
We're closed, buddy.
- I said we're closed. - No, come on, please.
We close at 11:00. Go on home.
Oh, please.
Now look, you, get out of here before I call the cops.
Now beat it.
No, please. Please.
Please.
Oh..
Oh, please.
What is it? What's happening?
Go on inside. I'll take care of this.
Go on!
So you like booze, hey, buddy?
I didn't know you wanted it that bad.
Why didn't you ask?
I'll give you all the booze you want.
Why?
Joe, who am I?
- Joe.. - What?
Who am I?
Say it. Come on.
Jim.
What happened?
You took a drink.
You're drying out now.
Listen, your first two days here
there was a little green man chasing you
around the violent ward with pruning shears.
No, no, no. Don't.
Got to get up.
I've got to get my wife.
No, they went to stay with her dad for a while.
I..
I want her with me.
Joe..
Joe, you've got to stay sober
even if it means keeping away from her.
Hmm? I can't hear you, Joe.
I love her!
Joe, if you really love her..
I mean, if you really love her..
...then you help her.
How?
You set an example.
Show her that-that an alky can beat the rap.
Give her something to aim at!
Come on. Will you do that?
Huh?
Oh, boy.
I should have never told you about that guy
with the pruning shears.
Hello, pop.
I told you before, Joe.
Don't come here.
I've got something important, pop.
Something I have to talk to you about.
Really, this means a lot to me.
Kirs gone out someplace?
She's gone to the movies.
She okay?
You come here to talk about Kirstie?
No, I didn't.
Tell you what I came to talk about, pop.
I've come to square accounts with you.
First of all..
...the $500 that you lent us that time to..
...try and get started again?
We spent it, most of it,
on a couple of benders.
Really didn't make much effort to get straightened out.
I just stayed drunk as long as the money lasted.
We lied to you about that.
And I know you worked hard for the money, and...
You started my daughter drinking.
Pop, please listen.
You started my daughter drinking!
When she lived here with her mama and me
she never drank.
We never gave her even one beer.
You started her!
Pop, what are you..
Pop! Don't!
Are you nuts? Now, what're you trying to do?
Pop.
Sure, we drank together.
And we did right from the start, but..
Where is she?
She's been gone three days.
My girl.
Pop..
She went off with another bum.
Not the same one, another one.
It's always another bum.
It's always, "Goodnight, Dad.
I'll be home early."
"Goodnight, Kirstie.
I'll leave the light on in the kitchen."
I always turn it off in the morning, Joe.
I thought she told me she was getting better.
Two weeks ago she was in the hospital three days
sick to death from drinking.
Can't you tell her that-that..
Tell her how well I'm doing.
Tell her all about the new apartment.
Tell her I'll take her back any time that she wants.
She wouldn't listen.
Well, tell her..
...Debbie cries for her.
Then she'd get drunk for sure.
I don't know what to..
I don't know what to tell Debbie.
Well, pop..
...there's some things we can be thankful for.
Now, I'm working steady and I'm sober.
And I'm starting to pay you back, pop.
The $500. There's the first installment.
And I'm gonna pay for her hospital bill, too.
- No. - Yes, I am.
And I'm gonna pay you board
as long as she stays here with you
and-and I'm gonna make good
for all of the potted plants
that I ruined that time.
I don't need for you to do that, Joe.
Pop, you don't understand.
I need for me to do it.
Kirs.
Debbie asleep?
Yes. It's after 11:00.
I didn't want her to see me.
- Well, you look so... - So bad?
Not as bad as you imagined I would.
Thanks for trying, but I know how I look.
This is the way I look when I'm sober.
That's enough to make a person drink
wouldn't you say?
Joe..
...I haven't had a drink in two days.
Well, that's wonderful.
It wasn't easy
but I wanted to talk to you, so I..
I thought I'd try and deserve it
at least a little.
Sort of a penance, you might say.
You'd be surprised how much fun you can have sober,
when you get the hang of it.
And you've got the hang of it?
I think so.
Believe me, it's the greatest.
Joe, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could
go back to the beginning?
Just erase everything in between.
Start all over at getting excited
over a chocolate bar?
I want to come home.
I-I know what you're thinking about.
A lot's happened, lots of... detours.
There were plenty of them, but they were nothing.
I never looked at them. They had no identity.
I never gave anything out of myself to them.
I thought they'd help me from being so lonely
but I was just as lonely because love is the only thing
that keeps you from being lonely
and I didn't have that.
Kirs..
...there's a little girl asleep in there
that would just love to wake up and see you here
and all you've got to do is say the right words.
I don't know if I have the right word.
That's why it took me so long to get here.
You see, the world looks so dirty to me
when I'm not drinking.
Joe, remember Fisherman's Wharf,
the water when you look too close?
That's the way the world looks to me
when I'm not drinking.
I don't think I could ever stop drinking completely,
not like you.
- I couldn't. - You could.
If I wanted to, really wanted to?
Well, I don't. I know that now.
I want things to look prettier than they are.
But I know... I know I-I could be all right if you'd help me.
I know I could, I'd be all right if we were together and..
...and things were like they used to be
and I wasn't so nervous.
I need to be loved. I get so lonely from not being loved.
I can't stand it.
I love you.
I'm afraid of you.
I'm an alcoholic. I can't take a drink.
And I'm afraid of what we'd do to each other.
If you just say that you'd try..
I know this sounds crazy
but I can't face the idea of never having another drink.
Honey, one day at a time. Just one day at a time...
I can't. I can't.
Doesn't it impress you
that I have been sober for almost a year
and I'm delighted to be this way?
I'm working steady and I feel great.
Debbie and I are living in a decent place once again
and it's all because I'm sober.
Yes.
- Well, there's plenty of room. - Joe, you're strong.
That's why I know you can help me now.
If we only had it back like it was.
Back like it..
Do you remember how it really was?
You and me and booze. A threesome. Do you remember?
Not that it wasn't great while it lasted.
We can have it back that way again if...
If I'll drink with you, but I'm not gonna drink with you.
It's finished.
I wouldn't ask you to drink with me.
I'd-I'd control myself.
You can't control yourself.
You're an alcoholic, just the same as I am.
No. No.
You and I were a couple of drunks
on a sea of booze, and the boat sank.
I got a hold of something that kept me from going under
and I'm not gonna let go of it.
And not for you, not for anyone.
If you want to grab on, grab on.
But there's just room for you and me.
No threesome.
I can't get over how dirty everything looks.
Try it one more day.
- Why? - For her.
Come and look at her.
I can't. I can't.
You better give up on me.
Not yet.
Thanks.
Goodnight.
Kirs..
...take care of yourself.
Kirs!
Daddy?
I thought I heard you call Mommy.
You must have been dreaming, honey.
Let's go back to bed.
When is Mommy coming home?
Honey, mommy's sick.
She has to get well before she can come home.
Is she going to get well?
I did, didn't I?
Go to sleep.
Okay.
Good night, Daddy.
Good night, honey.